His Virgin Wife: The Wedding in White / Caught in the Crossfire / The Virgin's Secret Marriage

Chapter 5

Mack saw the glitter of tears in her eyes and he grimaced. “I’m sorry,” he said tersely. “I should never have told you.”

She pushed back a wisp of hair and dug in her purse for a tissue so she could wipe her eyes. “You should have told me years ago,” she corrected. “What an idiot I was!”

“You were naïve,” he said gently. “You saw what you wanted to see.”

His face was grim, and she realized belatedly that he was angry. She wondered what else Carl had said to his brother, but she was leery of asking.

He glanced at her and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “You were seventeen and bent on putting him on a pedestal for life. It would have been a waste.”

That note in his voice was almost defensive. She turned in the seat and looked at him openly. She was seeing things she didn’t want to see. “What you did…that night,” she faltered. “It was deliberate.”

“It was,” he confessed quietly. “I wanted to give you something to think about, at least something to compare with what you’d already experienced.” His jaw tensed. “I didn’t realize how innocent you were until it was too late.”

“Too late?”

He slowed for a turn and he looked so formidable that she didn’t say another word. A tense silence lay between them for several long seconds.

“Maybe it really was like imprinting,” he said heavily. “I should never have touched you. You were far too young for what happened.”

She felt her face coloring. The hungry passion they’d shared today and the night at his house was almost as explosive as what they’d shared all those years ago. Even in memory, her body burned as she relived her first experience of Mack.

“Do you think I blame you?” she asked finally, but she didn’t look at him.

“I blame myself. You’ve lived like a recluse ever since.”

She leaned her face against the glass of the window and smiled. “You were a pretty hard act to follow,” she said huskily.

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “So were you.” He sounded as if the words were dragged out of him, and she turned her head to encounter a stare that stopped her heart.

It was as if she could see right into his mind, and she ached at the images that flashed at her, memories they shared.

“I didn’t really expect that you’d be inexperienced just because I warned your boyfriend off,” he added after a minute. “I got the shock of my life when I realized that you’d never experienced even the mildest form of intimacy.”

“Men always say they know, but how do they?” she asked irritably.

He forced his gaze to the road. “Because of the way you reacted,” he said tersely. “A sophisticated woman gives as much as she gets, Nat,” he told her bluntly. “You were wide-eyed and fascinated by everything I did, and I got in over my head long before I expected to. I dreamed about that night for years.”

“If we’re making confessions, so did I,” she admitted without looking at him.

He grimaced. “I should have gone home before I gave in to temptation.”

Her pale eyes touched his face like loving hands. She’d never known anyone like him. She didn’t think there was anyone else like him. He’d colored her dreams, become her world, in the years since that one incredible night.

She didn’t answer him. He glanced at her and laughed hollowly. “Which doesn’t change the past or bring us any closer to a solution,” he mused. “You’re not liberated, and I’m a confirmed bachelor.”

She toyed with her seat belt. “Are you really? I used to think that your father made you wary of marriage. He and your mother were totally unsuited, from what everybody says.”

“Everybody being my sister, Vivian,” he guessed. “She doesn’t remember our mother.”

“Neither do you, really, do you?” she wondered aloud.

“She died and left him with four kids,” he told her. “He wasn’t up to raising even one. I’ve always thought that the pressure of it started him drinking, and then he couldn’t stop.”

His face hardened with the words, and she knew he was remembering the bad times he’d had with his father.

“Mack, do you really think you’re like him?” she asked softly.

“They say abused kids become abusive parents,” he replied without thinking, and then could have bitten his tongue right through for the slip.

She only nodded, as if she’d expected that answer. “So they say. But there are exceptions to every rule. If you were going to be abusive, Vivian and Bob and Charles would have been sitting in the school counselor’s office years ago. They could have asked to go into foster care any time they wanted to.”

“Vivian would never have given up shopping sprees,” he pointed out.

She swiped gently at his sleeve. “Stop that. You know she loves you. So do the boys. You’re the kindest human being I’ve ever known.”

A ruddy color ran up his high cheekbones. He didn’t look at her. “Flattery?”

“Fact,” she countered. Her fingers smoothed over his sleeve lazily. “You’re one of a kind.”

He moved his shoulder abruptly. “Don’t do that.”

She pulled her fingers back. “Okay. Sorry.” She laughed it off, but her face flushed.

“Don’t get your feelings hurt,” he said irritably, glancing at her. “I want you. Don’t push your luck.”

Her eyes widened.

“You still haven’t got the least damned notion of what it does to me when you touch me, do you?” he asked impatiently. “This stoic exterior is a pose. Every time I look at you, I see you in that velvet dress, and I want to stop the truck and…” He ground his teeth together. “It’s been a long dry spell. Don’t make it worse.”

“What about Glenna?” she chided.

He hesitated for a minute and then glanced at her with a what-the-hell sort of smile and said, “She can’t fix what she didn’t break.”

Her eyebrows reached for the ceiling. “You don’t look broken to me.”

“You know what I mean. She’s pretty and responsive, but she isn’t you.”

Her face brightened. “Poor Glenna.”

“Poor Dave What’s-his-name,” he countered with a mocking smile. “Apparently he doesn’t get any further with you than she does with me.”

“Everyone says he’s very handsome.”

“Everyone says she’s very pretty.”

She shook her head and stared out the window, folding her arms. “Vivian is barely speaking to me,” she said, desperate to change the subject. “I know she’s jealous of the way Whit flirts with me. I just don’t know how to stop him. It almost seems as if he’s doing it deliberately.”

“He is,” he said, his expression changing. “It’s an old ploy, but it’s pretty effective.”

“I don’t understand.”

He pulled up at a stop sign a few miles outside Medicine Ridge and looked at her. “He makes her think he isn’t interested so that she’ll work harder to attract his attention. By that time, she’s so desperate that she’ll do anything he wants her to do.” His eye narrowed angrily. “She’s rich, Nat. He isn’t. He makes a good salary, for a teacher, but I had him investigated. He spends heavily at the gambling parlors.”

She bit her lower lip. “Poor Viv.”

“She’d be poor if she married him,” he agreed. “That’s why I object to him. He did get a girl in trouble, but that’s not why I don’t want him hanging around Viv. He’s a compulsive gambler and he doesn’t think he has a problem.” He looked genuinely worried. “I haven’t told her.”

She whistled softly. “And if you do tell her…”

“She won’t believe me. She’ll think I’m being contrary and dig in her heels. She might marry him out of spite.” He shrugged. “I’m between a rock and a hard place.”

“Maybe I should encourage him,” she began.

“No.”

“But I could—”

“I said no,” he repeated, his tone full of authority. “Let me handle it my way.”

“All right,” she said, giving in.

“I know what I’m doing,” he told her as he pulled the truck onto the highway. “You just be ready at five.”

“Okay, boss,” she drawled, and grinned at his quick glare.

Natalie was on pins and needles waiting for five o’clock. She was dressed by four. She’d topped her short hair with a glittery green rhinestone hair clip that brought out the emerald of her eyes and made the green velvet dress look even more elegant. When the Lincoln pulled up in her front yard and Mack got out to meet her on the porch, she fumbled trying to lock her door.

He took her hand in his and held it tight. “Don’t start getting flustered,” he chided gently, looking elegant in his dinner jacket and matching slacks. The white shirt had only the hint of ruffles down the front, with its black vest and tie. He was devastating dressed up. Apparently he found her equally devastating, because his glance swept over her from the high heels to the crown of her head. He smiled.

“You look nice, too,” she said shyly.

His fingers locked into hers. “I’m rather glad we aren’t going to be alone tonight,” he murmured dryly as they walked toward the car. “In that dress, you’d tempt a carved statue.”

“I’m not taking it off for you,” she told him. “You’re a confirmed bachelor.”

“Change my mind,” he challenged.

Her heart jumped and she laughed. “That’s a first.”

“Tonight is a first,” he pointed out as they paused beside the passenger door. He looked at her with slow, sensuous appraisal. “Our first date, Natalie.”

She colored. “So it is.”

He opened the door. In the back seat, Vivian and Whit broke apart quickly, and Vivian laughed in a high-pitched tone, pushing back her short blond hair.

“Hi, Nat!” Vivian said cheerfully, sounding totally unlike the very stressed woman who’d phoned her the day before. “You look terrific.”

“So do you,” Natalie said, and her friend really was a knockout in pale blue silk. Whit was wearing evening clothes, like Mack, but he managed to look slouchy just the same. Vivian didn’t notice. She was clinging to Whit’s arm as if he was a treasure she was fearful of losing.

“I have a black velvet dress, but I wanted something easier to move around in,” Vivian said.

“Velvet’s very nice,” Natalie agreed.

“Very expensive, too,” Vivian added, as if she knew that Natalie hadn’t paid for the dress.

“They do have charge accounts, even for penniless college students,” Natalie pointed out in a tone she rarely used.

Vivian flushed. “Oh. Of course.”

“We aren’t all wealthy, Vivian,” Whit added in a cooler tone. “It’s nice for you, if you can pay cash for things, but we lesser mortals have to make do with time payments.”

“I said I’m sorry,” Vivian said tightly.

“Did you? It didn’t sound very much like it,” Whit said and moved away from her.

Vivian’s teeth clamped shut almost audibly, and she grasped her evening bag as if she’d like to rip it apart.

“Which play are we going to see?” Natalie asked quickly, trying to recover what was left of the evening.

“Arsenic and Old Lace,” Mack said. “The Billings community college drama classes are presenting it. I’ve heard that they are pretty good.”

“Medicine Ridge College has a strong drama department of its own, doesn’t it, Natalie?” Whit asked conversationally. “I took a class in dramatic arts, but I was always nervous in front of an audience.”

“So was I,” Natalie agreed. “It takes someone with less inhibitions than I have.”

“I had the lead in my senior play,” Vivian said coldly.

“And you were wonderful,” Natalie said with a smile. “Even old Professor Blake raved about your portrayal of Stella.”

“Stella?” Whit asked.

“In Williams’s play A Streetcar Named Desire,” Natalie offered.

“One of my favorites,” Whit said, turning to Vivian. “And you played the lead. You never told me that!”

Vivian’s face lit up magically, and for the next few minutes, she regaled Whit with memories of her one stellar performance. In the front seat, Natalie and Mack exchanged sly smiles. With any luck, Natalie’s inspiration could have saved the evening.

The play was hilarious, even if Natalie did find herself involuntarily comparing the performances with those of Cary Grant and Raymond Massey in the old motion picture. She chided herself for that. The actors in the play might be amateurs, but they were very good and the audience reacted to them with hysterical laughter.

Afterward, they went to a nightclub for a late supper. Natalie and Mack ordered steak and a salad, while Whit and Vivian managed to pick the most expensive dishes on the menu.

There was dancing on the small floor with a live band, a Friday night special performance, and Natalie found herself in Mack’s arms as soon as she finished the last spoonful of her dessert.

“This is worth waiting all day for,” he murmured in her ear as he held her close on the dance floor. “I knew this dress would feel wonderful under my hands.”

She snuggled closer. “I thought Viv was going to ask how I could afford it,” she said with a sigh. She closed her eyes and smiled. “You really shouldn’t have paid for it, you know.”

“Yes, I should have.” He made a turn, and her body was pushed even closer to his. She felt his body react with stunning urgency to the brush of hers. She faltered and almost fell.

“Sorry,” she said shakily.

He only laughed, the sound rueful and faintly amused as they continued across the floor. “It’s an unavoidable consequence lately with you,” he murmured. “Don’t worry. No one will notice. We’re alone here.”

She glanced past his chest at the dozen or so other couples moving lazily to the music and she laughed, too. “So I see.”

“Just don’t do anything reckless,” he said softly. “With very little effort, we could become the scandal of the county.”

She felt his lips at her forehead and smiled. “Think so?”

One lean hand was at the back of her head, teasing around her nape and her ears in a sensual exploration that made her tingle all over. “Do you remember what I told you the night of the wreck?” he asked huskily.

“You told me a lot of things,” she hedged.

“I told you that, when you were old enough, I’d teach you everything you need to know about men.” His hand slid to her waist and pulled her gently closer. “You’re old enough, Nat.”

She stiffened. “You stop that,” she whispered urgently, embarrassed by his blatant capability.

“Sorry. It doesn’t work that way. I’d need a cold shower, and that isn’t going to happen here.” His cheek brushed against hers and his lips touched just the corner of her mouth. “We could drop Vivian and the professor off at my house first,” he said under his breath.

Her heart ran wild. “And then what?”

His lips traced her earlobe. “We could do what we did that night. I’ve spent years dreaming about how it felt.”

Her knees threatened to collapse. “Mack Killain,” she groaned. “Will you please stop?”

“You can’t stop an avalanche with words,” he whispered roughly. “You burn in me like a fever. I can’t eat, sleep, think, work, because you’re between me and every single thing I do.”

She swallowed. “It’s just an ache,” she said firmly. “Once you satisfied it, where would we be?”

He drew back a little and looked into her eyes evenly. “I don’t think it can be satisfied,” he said through his teeth.

She stood very still, like a doe in the glare of bright headlights, looking at him.

“And you still don’t know what it feels like,” he said gruffly, in a tone that was just short of accusation. “You like being kissed and touched, but you don’t know what desire is.”

She averted her eyes. “You’re the one who always pulls back,” she said huskily.

His arm contracted roughly, pinning her to him. “I have to,” he said impatiently. “You have no idea what it would be like if I didn’t.”

“I’m twenty-two,” she reminded him. “Almost twenty-three. No woman reaches that age today, even in a small town, without knowing something about relationships.”

“I’m talking about physical relationships. They aren’t something you have and walk away from. They’re addictive.” He drew in a harsh breath as the music began to wind down. “They’re dangerous. A little light lovemaking is one thing. What I’d do to you in a bed is something else entirely.”

The tone, as much as the content, made her uneasy. She stared at him, frowning. “I don’t understand.”

He groaned. “I know. That’s what’s killing me!”

“You’re not being rational,” she murmured.

The hand at her waist contracted and moved her in a rough, quick motion against the rock-solid thrust of his body. He watched her blush with malicious pleasure. “How rational does that feel to you?” he asked outrageously.

She forced her eyes to his drawn face. “It isn’t rational at all. But you keep trying to save me from anything deep and intimate. It has to happen someday,” she said.

His jaw tautened even more. “Maybe it does. But I told you, I’m not a marrying man. That being the case, I’d have to be out of my mind before I’d take you to bed, Natalie.”

“Dave wouldn’t,” she taunted. “In fact, Whit wouldn’t,” she added, glancing at Vivian’s partner, who was watching her as much as he was watching his partner.

His hand tightened on her waist until it hurt. “Don’t start anything with him,” he said coldly. “Vivian would never forgive you. Neither would I.”

“I was just kidding.”

“I’m not laughing,” he told her, and his face was solemn.

“You treat me like a child half the time,” she accused, on fire with new needs. She felt reckless, out of control. His body, pressed so close to hers, was making her ache. “And then you accuse me of tempting you, when you’re the one with the experience.”

He let her go abruptly and moved back. “You aren’t old enough for me,” he said flatly.

“I’m six years younger than you are, not twenty,” she pointed out.

His eye narrowed, glittering at her. “What do you want from me?”

In his customary blunt way, he’d thrown the ball into her court and stood there arrogantly waiting for an answer she couldn’t give.

“I want you to be my friend,” she said finally, compromising with her secret desires.

“I am.”

“Then where’s the problem?”

“You just felt it.”

“Mack!”

He caught her hand and tugged her toward their table. “What’s that song—one step forward and two steps back? That’s how I feel lately.”

She felt churned up, frustrated, hot with desire and furious that he was playing some sort of game with her hormones. She knew she was flushed and she couldn’t quite meet Vivian’s eyes when they went to the table.

“Don’t sit down,” Whit drawled, catching Natalie by the wrist before she could be seated. “This one’s mine.”

He drew her on the dance floor to the chagrin of brother and sister and wrapped her tight as the slow dance began.

“If you want to keep that arm, loosen it,” Natalie told Whit with barely contained rage.

He did, at once, and grinned at her. “Sorry. That’s the way big brother was holding you, though. But, then, he’s almost family, isn’t he? Vivian says the two of you went through high school together.”

“Yes, we did. We’ve been friends for a long time.”

“She’s jealous of you,” he said.

“That’s a hoot,” she replied, laughing. “She’s a beauty queen and I’m plain.”

“That isn’t what I mean,” he corrected. “She envies you your kind heart and intelligence. She has neither.”

“That’s a strange way to talk about a girl you care for,” she chided.