Daddy Wanted

CHAPTER TWO

“I DON’T KNOW what to say, darling. Do you want me to tell you we regret our actions? How can we? We found you. You became a part of our family.”

“You didn’t find me, you bought me,” Ryan said, his voice filled with bitterness. When the doorbell had rung, he’d expected to find Jennifer standing on the other side, ready to leave for El Paso. His heart had quickened as he pulled the door open; he’d been anxious to see her again. Instead, his mother had walked in, determined to straighten out everything that had gone wrong between them.

She was an attractive woman, trim and well-dressed, her ash-blond hair carefully styled into a simple pageboy. When he was growing up, he’d always been so proud of her. Rhonda Madison had been the prettiest mother on the block. Unlike some of the other mothers, her entire life revolved around Ryan—his school activities, sports. Anything that caught his interest caught hers as well. In hindsight, it all became clear. She’d been desperate to become a mother, and when she finally did, Rhonda Madison didn’t want to miss a single minute.

“Didn’t you ask questions?” Ryan demanded. “Like where I’d come from? What had happened to my parents?”

“He told us your mother was a teenage runaway,” Rhonda said. “We’d just turned over our entire life savings to this man. Your father might have been a little suspicious, but he wanted to make me happy and a baby was the only thing that could do that. We aren’t bad people, Ryan. And if we’d known you’d been stolen from your mother, we would have—”

“You would have bought me anyway?” Ryan asked. He waited for his mother to deny the accusation, but she didn’t.

“Have you talked to your…” The word stuck in her throat as if it pained her to say it. “The woman who gave birth to you?”

“You’ll be happy to hear she’s dead,” Ryan said, wanting to hurt her as much as she’d hurt him. “I’ll never know her, or my father. I do have a brother, though. And a niece.” Impatient to be done with the conversation, he glanced at his watch. “I have to get ready. I’m going away for the weekend.”

“Really?” his mother asked in a forced attempt at interest. “Where are you going?”

“El Paso,” he murmured. “I’m going to meet the parents of my fiancée.” Why he’d said it, Ryan didn’t know, for it was a bald-faced lie. Perhaps he’d meant to shock his mother, to draw her into another argument or maybe to drive home the fact that she wasn’t a part of his life anymore.

But she didn’t take the bait and the pained expression on her face caused a wave of guilt to rush over him. Sooner or later, he’d have to stop punishing her and accept what she and his father had done. But he wasn’t ready. Not yet. The wound was still too raw, and even after it healed a bit, he doubted that he’d ever be able to fully forgive them.

“Maybe, after you get back, you can bring your young lady to the house for dinner,” she suggested. “Your birthday is coming up. We could plan a barbecue.”

Ryan turned away from her and stuffed another shirt into his overnight bag. “Sure,” he muttered. He’d missed twenty-six birthdays with his real family, why not spend another one with the people who had been faking it? Suddenly, birthdays didn’t seem so important.

He heard her sigh in defeat and approach him from behind. When she placed her hand on his shoulder, he stiffened. He fought the urge to turn to her and gather her into his arms, to forget everything that had happened in the past month. But nothing could erase the lies they’d told.

In the end, she silently walked out the front door of his condo, leaving him to deal with his demons. Ryan furrowed his fingers through his hair and cursed softly. He’d never been a man to act on his emotions, choosing to think every word, every action out first. But since he’d learned of his true parentage, he couldn’t rely on his usual dispassionate nature anymore. Nothing made sense, and until it did, he’d just have to operate on instinct alone.

A soft knock sounded at the door and he spun around, ready to rebuff his mother again. But Jennifer stood in the open doorway, dressed in a pretty peasant blouse and a colorful skirt. She wore a straw hat on her head, her long hair tucked up beneath the crown. Like the sun appearing from behind a dark cloud, she instantly lightened his mood.

“What is it?” she asked, frowning. “You look upset.”

“Nothing,” Ryan murmured, gathering up his overnight bag and tucking his garment bag under his arm. “I just had a visit from my mother. Needless to say, it didn’t go well.”

“You shouldn’t punish your parents for this,” Jennifer said softly. “They didn’t know.”

“They should have asked,” Ryan countered.

“You can’t know what’s in a mother’s heart. Sometimes the need to have a child is so strong it hurts.”

Ryan’s jaw went tight and he fought the impulse to tell Jennifer to mind her own business. But if there was anyone he could talk to about his personal problems, it was her. And he didn’t want to break the tenuous connection they’d built between them. “I thought I’d drive,” Ryan murmured. “We can take my Lexus. I’ve got a CD changer and—”

“But I have a convertible,” she said, accepting the change in subject without further comment. “And it’s a beautiful day. Besides, I know a short cut through the desert. I bought some lunch for us and we can stop at Red Bluff Lake on our way there.”

Though Ryan would have preferred to determine the route and take his own car, Jennifer seemed so excited about the trip, he decided to throw caution to the wind and go along. After all, this was the new Ryan Madison, operating on instinct and emotion. He grabbed his bags and walked out behind her. Her little convertible was parked at the curb. It had to be at least ten years old and didn’t look as though it could make it through town, much less across all of West Texas. “Maybe we should take my car,” he said.

“Don’t worry,” Jennifer chided. “We’ll have fun.”

As they headed out of town, bypassing the interstate that went from Midland-Odessa to El Paso, Ryan realized why she’d chosen the route. It was obvious Jennifer didn’t believe in speed limits. Or stop signs or double yellow lines. She was in all probability the most aggressive driver he’d ever seen short of Al Unser or Richard Petty.

He relaxed a bit when they got out of town and sped toward Kermit. “Maybe we should use this time to brush up,” he shouted over the sound of the wind racing around them.

She turned and grinned at him, her eyes hidden beneath the brim of her hat and her dark sunglasses. “All right,” she said. “Ask me anything.”

He considered his first question carefully. He really wanted to ask her about the baby’s father, but Ryan knew he ought to leave that question for another time. “Jennifer. That’s an odd name for someone of your background.”

She laughed. “That’s my father’s doing. When he first came to this country, he loved to go to the movies. The only movie he’d ever seen in Mexico was Duel in the Sun, with Gregory Peck and Jennifer Jones. He saw it at an old cine when he was eight. And then he came to America and the first movie star he saw was Jennifer Jones, walking right down the street in Los Angeles. He took it as a sign from God that he was meant to live in this country. And that’s how I got my name.”

Ryan laughed. “All right, now it’s your turn. Ask me anything.”

“You were involved,” she said. “Nearly married a woman named Elise. Then you broke it off last year. Why?”

“You are a good investigator.” He sat back in his seat and stared out at the long dusty strip of road in front of them. “She was a friend of the family and we’d dated since we were in college. It just seemed as if we were together for all the wrong reasons. There was no…”

“Passion?” Jennifer asked.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. Passion.”

Silence spun between them as the scenery sped by. In truth, he’d seen more passion and excitement in a few hours with Jennifer Rodriguez than he’d seen the entire time he’d been with Elise. With Jennifer, life was a series of surprises. He never knew what to expect or how she’d react. And though he’d always assumed he wanted a woman who was prudent and restrained, when he was with Jennifer, he felt more alive than he’d ever felt in his life.

Perhaps it had been the upheaval, the uncertainty that had changed his perspective. His life had been so orderly, so predictable. He knew who he was and where he was going. But since he’d learned the secrets of his birth, he didn’t feel like Ryan Madison anymore.

He glanced over at the beautiful woman sitting beside him, tendrils of hair whipping around her face, her lips curled in an impish smile. She glanced his way, then laughed, pressing her foot to the floor, the car accelerating smartly.

Ryan chuckled and tipped his face up to the intense afternoon sun. For the first time in his life, he felt completely free, unencumbered by expectations—his own and his family’s. He was a man with no past and an uncertain future, but the prospect of not knowing what was around the next corner didn’t bother him in the least.

Whatever had brought about the change, whether it was Jennifer herself or the news she’d revealed, didn’t matter. He was beginning to like the new Ryan Madison.

* * *

THEY PULLED INTO El Paso right on schedule. They’d stopped at Red Bluff Lake, and a few other towns along the way. Jennifer was beginning to realize that from now on, the baby would prevent these marathon drives. She had to go to the bathroom at least once every hour and there hadn’t always been a bathroom available. Squatting on the edge of the road had been a necessity, lightened only by Ryan’s good-natured teasing. She made a note to take the interstate home.

Compared with the flat landscape around Midland-Odessa, El Paso was like an oasis. Set on the Rio Grande and split by the Franklin Mountains, it had first been a huge cattle ranch before the railroads brought people and prosperity. On the other side of the river in Mexico was El Paso’s twin city, Ciudad Juárez. She steered the car toward the west side of town, to the lovely neighborhoods built around the Rio Grande Country Club.

The anticipation of seeing her family always brought a rush of excitement. But it was different this time. For all she knew, this might be her last visit. Once her parents learned of the baby, they might kick her out of the family. She looked over at Ryan. “Are you ready for this?”

He reached across and tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of her neck. “As ready as I’ll ever be. I’ll just follow your lead, and if I say anything wrong, just give me a sign.”

She turned into a subdivision of spacious homes set on large lots and followed the winding streets. When she finally stopped near a sprawling hacienda-style home with melon-colored stucco and a red-tile roof, she drew a deep breath. The sound of music drifted from the backyard on the still air and cars filled the driveway and the surrounding street. No doubt the celebration had begun. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this,” she murmured.

Ryan leaned over and forced her gaze to his. “You have to do this, Jen. What are they going to say five months from now when you walk in the front door with a newborn?”

“You’re right,” she said, warmed by the familiar use of her name. She couldn’t recall hearing him say her name before and she liked the sound of it on his lips.

He smiled, then pressed a quick kiss to her cheek. “Here, I have something for you.” Ryan reached in his pocket and withdrew a small velvet-covered box, then held it out to Jennifer.

“Ryan, what have you done?” she said, snatching the box from his fingers and flipping it open. Inside, a lovely solitaire diamond sparkled in a simple platinum setting. “Oh, no, what have you done?”

“Don’t worry. I had big credit at the jewelry store. After Elise threw her ring back in my face, the store wouldn’t give me my money back. So, I guess you could consider it a freebie.”

She slipped it on her finger. In another, less pregnant time, it would have fit perfectly. But as she pushed it over her swollen knuckle, she wondered if she’d get it off again. Jennifer stared down at the diamond, twinkling in the light of the late-afternoon sun. “Thank you,” she said. Then with a soft laugh, she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him hard. “This will be perfect. I’ll just wear the ring, and when they notice, we’ll tell them.”

When she finally drew back, her gaze met his. He stared down into her eyes for a long moment. As if drawn by an invisible force, their lips came together in a kiss so exquisitely soft and perfect that it took Jennifer’s breath away. She didn’t want it to end, the flood of sensation racing through her body like an addictive drug, calming her nerves yet setting them on edge at the same time.

He furrowed his hands through her hair and molded his mouth to hers, deepening the kiss. Desire warmed her blood and she melted into his arms, wishing that the kiss might go on forever. But a few moments later, he drew back and his gaze skimmed her face.

Her hands clutched at the front of his shirt. “What was that for?” she asked, her voice barely audible, her lips damp from his kiss.

“That was for luck,” Ryan said, leaning back into his seat.

“Maybe we should just turn around and drive back to Odessa,” she suggested.

Ryan gave her hand a squeeze. “We’ll get through this.”

With that, Jennifer gathered her resolve and opened her car door. Ryan did the same, then grabbed their bags from the back seat and followed her up to the house. But just as she put her hand on the doorknob, the door swung open in front of her.

Maria screamed and launched herself into Jennifer’s arms. “Mamá, Papi, Jenny is here!” She pulled her sister inside and Jennifer was swallowed up by her family’s greetings. Her brother, Joe, shouted at her from across the foyer and Teresa wriggled through the oncoming crowd of aunts and uncles and cousins to hug her legs. Linda followed close behind and picked Teresa up so that she could kiss Jennifer on the cheek.

As the crowd moved toward the kitchen, where they were sure to find Carmen and Diego, Jennifer looked over her shoulder and sent Ryan a pleading look. “Wait there,” she mouthed.

When she’d finally run the gauntlet of kisses and hugs from all the relatives, she made her way to her parents and hugged them both. Her father was a bear of a man, strong and solid, full of the same passion and spontaneity that Jennifer possessed. Her mother was the opposite, cool and controlled, a patrician woman who held her children to strict standards.

“Niña,” her father shouted, gathering her in his arms. “Your mother says you’ve brought a young man home. Where is he? He wasn’t scared off already, was he?”

“He’s waiting in the foyer, Papi,” she said, ignoring his good-natured teasing.

Her mother drew a dramatic breath and smoothed her silver-gray hair. “Well, Diego, let us go meet the boy.” She grabbed her husband’s arm and started toward the front of the house, giving Jennifer no choice but to hurry after them. Her parents stopped short when they saw Ryan standing in the spacious foyer, bags surrounding him.

Carmen nodded curtly, her gaze raking Ryan shrewdly. “Bienvenido. Welcome to our home.”

Jennifer quickly stepped around them and took her place at Ryan’s side. “Mamá, Papi, I’d like you to meet my…friend, Ryan Madison. Ryan, these are my parents, Carmen and Diego Rodriguez.”

As the three of them exchanged pleasantries, Jennifer chided herself inwardly. What a wimp she was! Why not just introduce him as her fiancé and get that out of the way? She’d have been halfway there after barely walking in the door. She twisted the ring around on her finger until the diamond was cradled in her palm.

“Mr. and Mrs. Rodriguez, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Ryan said, reaching out to shake their hands. “Jennifer has told me so much about you.”

“Funny, she hasn’t told us a thing about you,” Carmen murmured, grudgingly impressed with his easy charm and impeccable manners but still reserving judgment for later.

“Carmen, haven’t you forgotten something?” Diego teased.

Jennifer’s mother looked over at her husband. “And what is that?”

“You’ve forgotten to tell Jennifer she hasn’t been eating.” He turned to Ryan and chuckled. “It’s part of their little ritual. Carmen tells Jennifer she’s too skinny and Jennifer tells Carmen that she eats plenty. Jennifer tells Carmen to mind her own business and Carmen tells Jennifer to mind her elders.”

“Well, I didn’t say anything because Jennifer looks fine. In fact, she looks as if she has gained weight.” Carmen nodded. “You look healthy, niña.”

Jennifer sent Ryan a sideways glance and he returned a reassuring smile. “Actually, Mamá, I have gained a few pounds.” She slipped her hand around Ryan’s arm. “And I’m sure you have lots of things prepared to fatten me up even more.”

“Come along, then, Ryan,” Carmen ordered. “We will introduce you to the family and get you both something to eat.”

They followed a few steps behind her parents. “Coward,” Ryan whispered.

“Don’t rush me,” she muttered. “All in good time.”

But as they were both drawn in to the whirl of the barbecue, the right time never seemed to appear. Jennifer tried to keep an eye on Ryan as she mingled with the guests. He’d found a friend in her eight-year-old sister, Teresa, who dragged him from spot to spot in the backyard, introducing him to curious relatives and showing off her special hiding places. Like Jennifer as a child, Teresa was a tomboy and preferred to spend her time up trees or crouched behind bushes, knees muddied and hair tangled.

When they finally met up near the edge of the swimming pool, Jennifer felt compelled to apologize. “I know this is a little overwhelming. There have to be at least a hundred people here.”

“It’s quite a celebration,” Ryan said, casually slipping his arm around her waist as he stared out at the boisterous crowd. “Are they all relatives?”

“Relatives and friends. Some are Maria’s padrinos—her sponsors. They help pay for the quinceañera celebration, at least in spirit, since Papi won’t let them pay for anything big. They contribute little things like the bouquet for the Virgin Mary and the souvenirs for the guests and Maria’s crown and ring. They also give her the capias and the capia doll.”

“Capia?”

“The capia doll is like a keepsake, a doll made up to look just like the quinceañera in all her birthday finery. And the capias are ribbon favors with Maria’s name and the date printed on them. The doll is covered with the ribbons, and after they’re all distributed to party guests, the doll is revealed.”

“And you went through this when you were fifteen?”

Jennifer smiled and shook her head. “No. I was the family rebel. Of course, I had the mass and I was forced to wear a pretty dress. But I insisted on a small party with just close family. And I made my father give all the money he’d put aside for my quinceañera to a homeless shelter. Maria, on the other hand, prefers to follow tradition and spend as much of Papi’s money as possible.”

“I didn’t expect anything quite so elaborate.”

“If you think this is big, wait until tomorrow. There’s the mass and then the party. Tomorrow morning the party planners and caterers and musicians will come and transform the backyard into something resembling a fairyland. Maria will have her court of honor—probably fourteen damas and chambelanes, plus Teresa for her flower girl and Linda for her princess. After the mass, they’ll all walk in with her and Mamá and Papi and the padrinos. That’s called la marcha. Knowing Maria’s flair for the theatric, there will be choreographed dancing. It all leads up to the big moment—the presentation, when la niña is transformed into una señorita. When she changes from a girl to a young lady.”

“How does that happen?” Ryan asked.

“She changes her shoes,” Jennifer said.

“No, really, I want to know.”

“That’s how it happens. She’ll begin a waltz with Papi and then the music will stop and she’ll walk to a chair in the middle of the dance floor in flats. Then Mamá will change her shoes to heels and she’ll finish her waltz with Papi. And after that, she’ll dance with all her chambelanes, the boys on the court. Those are mostly cousins and sons of Papi and Mamá’s friends. She saves the last dance for her chambelán de honor, which will probably be my brother, Joe.”

Ryan released a long breath. “Wow, it’s like a wedding.”

“It’s bigger than a wedding,” Jennifer said.

He turned to her and tugged her closer. “I’m glad you asked me to come. Meeting your family gives me a keener insight into you.”

“And what have you figured out?”

“That you’re a pretty fascinating woman,” he said.

She playfully bumped against him. “You are too charming, Ryan Madison. No wonder my sister Teresa is in love with you.” Jennifer pointed to a tree at the other end of the pool. “She’s watching us. Why don’t you go over and ask her to dance. You’ll make her day.”

Jennifer watched as he circled the pool and stood beneath the old cottonwood tree. He held up his arms and Teresa jumped into them. He set her down and she wiped the dirt from her hands on her pretty white dress. Before long, they were dancing the night away on the makeshift dance floor.

Jennifer managed to steal a dance with him, a pretty Julio Iglesias ballad, after Teresa was ordered to bed. They moved around the terrace to the soft sounds of the small mariachi combo and the high, wavering voice of the singer. Jennifer looked over to the house to find her parents watching them both from the terrace. “Maybe we should tell them now,” she murmured, resting her cheek against Ryan’s chest, exhaustion suddenly overwhelming her.

“Not just yet,” he said, his breath soft on her temple.

She sighed softly, then drew a deep breath, enjoying the scent of his cologne. “All right,” she murmured. “Not just yet.”

In the end, they danced until the band stopped playing, both of them anxious to avoid the conflict that would surely accompany Jennifer’s revelations. As the party guests slowly made their way home, she walked with Ryan to the house, then showed him to one of the three guest rooms that her mother had prepared.

“I guess we’ll tell them tomorrow,” she said, standing outside the door. “Maybe that’s for the best.”

Ryan pulled her into his arms and gave her a hug. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, his fingers skimming her cheek. He wanted to kiss her then, she could see it in his eyes. And she wanted him to capture her mouth and send sweet, stirring sensations racing through her body. But during the party, they’d been playacting, pretending to be a devoted couple for the benefit of her family.

Here in the hall outside his room, it was just the two of them. Two people with nothing more between them than a simple favor. “Yes,” she murmured. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”

He slipped inside his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Jennifer groaned inwardly and leaned back against the wall. Then she glanced down at the diamond she’d kept hidden all night long. She’d never thought much about marriage, never dated a man with whom she’d consider spending her life. But this little game they were playing had given her a taste of what a real relationship might be like.

A soft sigh slipped from her lips and she reached up and rubbed her forehead. It would be so easy to fall for him. But was this really the first stirrings of love she felt? Or was it just desperation? Was she looking for a man to spend her life with or was she simply looking for a father for her baby?