Little Cowgirl on His Doorstep
The speech was going to go to waste, but the end result was the same. Nell was going home with her. If Callum wasn’t interested, that was his business. She would do everything to make sure Nell had a full, happy life.
She slid her purse strap over her shoulder and stood, tucking Nell’s blanket closer around her. Nell’s tiny dark eyes were open—at first they’d seemed blue but now Avery was sure they were going to be brown, like Callum’s. Avery blinked against sudden tears and made her way out of the cluttered living room to the front door again.
“Wait.”
Her hand was reaching for the knob when his voice stopped her. She turned around to find him standing in the space between the living room and kitchen, indecision marking his face.
“Why?” he asked quietly. “Why did you disagree with her about telling me?”
“Why do you think?”
He frowned. “If I really were the father, wouldn’t Crystal have wanted to at least ask for financial support?”
Avery studied him. “She said you were very clear during your…brief time together, that as far as you were concerned weddings were all a sham and you never wanted to have either a wife or kids.”
Whatever feeling she’d sensed behind the dark depths of his eyes was quickly shuttered away. “And you didn’t agree with her?” he asked.
Did it really matter if he believed her? Perhaps it was better if he didn’t. She could walk away free and clear without having to give up her daughter. That’s what Nell was to her now. Avery had had her since birth and the love she had for her was so pure, so deep…
And that was why she knew she couldn’t lie, even though telling the truth complicated everything and risked the very relationship she cherished most. When it came to Nell, Avery had to know that every decision she made was true and honest. When the time came for Avery to explain about Nell’s parents, she wanted to have a clear conscience. No white lies, no glossing over of the truth. Avery had been brought up that way and it had sucked. If there was any way at all that Nell could know her father, Avery wanted to make that possible.
“Crystal and I grew up without a father,” she explained quietly. “He took off when I was only eighteen months old—I have no memories of him. He left my mother pregnant with Crystal. We didn’t have a bad life—I’m not saying that,” she hurried to assure him, though it hadn’t exactly been ideal either. “But to say I didn’t wonder what it would have been like…that something wasn’t missing…”
She met his gaze. He was watching her curiously and she realized that despite his radical change in appearance, the dark depths of his eyes were the same. Mysterious and magnetic all at once.
“Even the divorce kids in school spent time with their dads and I didn’t even know where mine was or what he looked like,” she explained. “I don’t want Nell to have those same feelings because her mother wasn’t strong enough to tell the truth when it mattered.”
“You’re not her mother.”
The words were like a slap, and at that moment Avery knew he’d never understand. She rubbed her hand along Nell’s back, feeling the warmth through the blanket. “Oh, yes, I am. In every possible way that counts.”
She opened the door, feeling the warm July air puff against her face. The sun was just starting its descent and this side of the yard was awash with golden light. Nell twisted her head irritably, trying to get the glare out of her eyes.
Avery shifted her so that her small head was tucked safely into the curve of her neck and made her way down the steps.
“Miss Spencer.”
She turned around. “What?”
He’d come outside in his stocking feet and stood at the top of the steps, hands on his hips. He really was intimidating looking with his scruffy beard and semi-wild hair and muscular build that Avery knew came from years of military training and now, apparently, manual labor.
Intimidating and manly and innately sexy all at the same time. That much hadn’t changed, either. Avery clenched her teeth together. Like that really mattered.
“Where are you staying tonight?”
“I don’t know.” Truth be told, she’d come straight here from the airport, wanting to get the conversation over with first. She’d probably go back to Edmonton and find a room there. Was the town of Cadence Creek even big enough for a hotel?
“There’s a bed-and-breakfast in town. That’s probably the nicest. Otherwise there’s a hotel out closer to the highway.”
Avery held back a snort. His concern was so touching. Not like he was putting himself out and offering any hospitality. She got the feeling that Callum Shepard was in it for one person and one person only—himself, and anyone else be damned.
“Thanks,” she answered, and turned her back on him.
It took a minute to get Nell buckled into her car seat and Avery could tell that the baby was growing more restless. They’d have to find a place to relax and soon, because Nell was going to need a diaper change and a bottle and some playtime.
Without saying another word to Callum she started the car and turned it around, heading back out the driveway.
When she looked in her rearview mirror, he was still standing on the steps, watching them leave.
CHAPTER TWO
AVERY HAD SURMISED that twenty-four hours might not be enough time to work things out with Callum, so when she’d booked her return flight she’d left a full day between arrival and departure. Since Callum wasn’t at all interested in Nell, she called the airline and asked about switching to an earlier flight. Unfortunately, because it was high season, everything was sold out. She could put herself on the standby list, but traveling standby with a baby didn’t sound like her favorite way to spend a day. They’d just make a mini vacation of it, then spend the full day in Cadence Creek and then head back as planned.
They stayed at the bed-and-breakfast and now, in the bright sun of a July morning, she had the window to their room open. A perfumed breeze wafted in from the flower gardens and Avery could hear birds singing in the bushes as they perched on the edge of the birdbath nestled among the plants. She’d enjoyed a full breakfast in the dining room and now Nell was buckled into her seat, staring at a bar of brightly colored toys.
Nell had been so good last night. They’d checked in and Avery had changed her, mixed up a bottle and fed her. Then they’d taken a bath together in the big tub and Avery had put her to bed in the portable playpen she’d brought as a second piece of luggage.
Traveling light wasn’t an option with infants, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Despite the change in bed, Nell had only woken once in the night to be fed, and the bed-and-breakfast owners had moved a rocking chair into the room when they’d seen she had a baby. All in all it had been extremely comfortable.
“Come on, pumpkin. We’ve got a whole day to kill. Why don’t we explore a little? There must be something to do in this town.”
She’d had time to think about yesterday’s events. While she was sad that Nell wasn’t going to grow up knowing her father, the knowledge that Callum wasn’t going to challenge her custody of Nell put a new spring in her step. She put a lace-trimmed bonnet on Nell’s tiny head and once outside the bed-and-breakfast, she placed her in an umbrella stroller. They made their way through the small town, sticking to the few streets that had sidewalks and a selection of stores. It really was a cute little community with definite Western flair. False-fronted shops lined the streets and hanging flower baskets decorated the lampposts.
There was an old-fashioned general store that carried daily necessities as well as a selection of penny candy and knickknacks; a small department store dealing with household items and mostly work clothing and a hardware store. Farther along she found a craft shop that was charming, and they spent several minutes browsing inside. Avery knew she shouldn’t, but she walked out with four balls of soft rose-colored yarn and a new pattern. She could tuck the yarn into the corners of her suitcase, and the pattern would knit up a sweet sweater and cap for Nell to wear when the weather turned chilly this fall. Avery looked down at the baby in the stroller and felt her heart swell. Autumn was her favorite time of year, and this year she and Nell would cozy up together during the longer evenings and she could knit to her heart’s content.
They stopped at a bakery and Avery paid closer attention. This was her world—sugar and flour and butter and all the other mysterious, wonderful things that went into baking. The plain storefront window and shelving showcased a good selection of what she guessed to be high-quality items—good home-cooking if she were any judge. The bread was golden-brown and looked beautifully light, the pies were heavy with fruit, the crusts perfectly fluted and the meringue on the lemon ones stood a good two inches thick, the swirled peaks golden. There were cookies, squares, and cakes, too, but the cakes were boring: vanilla and chocolate, plainly decorated, without a bit of creativity. There was no fondant or sugar flowers, just buttercream piped through various tips. And only one lonely tray of chocolate cupcakes. Nice, but lacking in imagination and technique for sure.
She bought a cupcake and ventured back outside to eat it. Two stores away she spied a bench and she pushed the stroller to it, locked the wheels, handed Nell a rattle to keep her occupied and finally bit into the cake.
It wasn’t bad. Not imaginative by any stretch, but the texture was good. A higher grade of cocoa would make a big difference. It wasn’t quite to The Icing on Top standard, but then Avery made her living at the boutique bakery, specializing in cakes and cupcakes to order. She was always looking for new variations to experiment with, and loved how every day she always made something new. Lately her favorite had been making custom decorations for the tops of cupcakes. Her favorite so far had been the tiny mortarboards she’d done for June graduations, complete with gold leaf tassels. For one party she’d done red velvet cupcakes with white buttercream to match the redand-white school colors. They’d been a huge hit. And last month had been insane with weddings. More and more brides were choosing cupcakes over a traditional wedding cake. The lemon chiffon cakes with edible flowers on top were to die for.
She’d just licked the last of the frosting from her fingers when a shadow fell over the bench. She angled her face up to see Callum standing over them. At least this time his shirt was neatly tucked in and his hair had been combed…sort of. It still hung past his collar, giving him a rough and ready appearance, and he hadn’t shaved, either. She usually didn’t go in for facial hair, but she had to admit his rugged appearance made him seem both a little dangerous and incredibly sexy.
Her heart began to pound faster as she looked up into his eyes. Not because it was him, she assured herself, but because she hadn’t planned on seeing him again and having him appear out of the blue felt like trouble was on its way. She should have known better than to let down her guard—should have known it had been too easy yesterday.
“Hello,” she said quietly.
“Hi. I stopped by the bed-and-breakfast looking for you. Jim and Kathleen said you’d decided to have a look around town.”
Her heartbeat quickened even more. “So you came looking for me?”
“Yeah. I did.”
The sidewalk traffic was sparse and while Avery didn’t want anyone eavesdropping on their conversation, there was a small comfort in being in a public place. “Do you want to sit down, Callum?”
She’d used his first name, she realized. Up until now it had been Mr. Shepard. Even this small familiarity seemed intimate and she made a point of breaking eye contact, looking down at Nell. She fussed with the baby’s outfit even though everything was perfectly fine.
“You don’t want to go somewhere more private?” he asked, and her pulse skipped.
“There’s no one around, and Nell likes it outside. See how contented she is?”
Some “ba, ba” sounds came from the stroller, along with rattles from the toy as Nell batted her hands up and down.
The shadow disappeared as Callum moved to the side and took a seat on the bench.
Avery looked over at him. He was staring at Nell, his face unreadable. Like he was looking for something and not finding it. She waited a moment or two and then nudged. “Is there something you wanted to talk to me about?”
He sat back, resting his hands on his jeans. “About yesterday…”
“I believe you made your thoughts clear.”
“I was shocked.”
“Clearly.” Nell dropped the rattle and Avery picked it up, dusted it off and gave it back to her.
“Wouldn’t you be?” he asked quietly. “If someone showed up on your doorstep with news like that?”
“So you no longer think I’m a con artist out to scam you?”
“I never called you that.”
She looked him square in the eye. “You thought it.”
He looked away first this time. “Yes, I did.”
Last night she’d had time to consider his response. Yes, he’d been rude and boorish but she put herself in his shoes and understood the skepticism. Then she’d spent too much time wondering at the change in him. The man she remembered had been friendly and fun, though at times he’d stood away from the others, looking lonely. But he’d been impeccably groomed with not a hair out of place, and he’d lit up when Crystal walked into a room…
“Look, Miss Spencer…Avery.” He, too, dropped the formality and it did something funny to her insides, hearing him say her name like that.
He sighed. “Why did you come? What did you expect me to say?” He paused. “How did you really see all this playing out?”
“Which question do you want me to answer first?”
“Whatever explains it best,” he replied.
She waited for a couple of ladies to pass by. They paused and smiled down at Nell—she really was an angel—before carrying on their way.
“I meant what I said about you having a right to know,” she began, fighting to keep her voice even. “And Nell has a right to know about you, too. But I also meant what I said about not wanting anything from you. I didn’t come here looking for money or…material support. Crystal gave me guardianship of Nell and we have a good home together. It’s not big but it’s comfortable and cozy. I love her as my own. I want to watch her grow up and when she’s old enough I want to be able to tell her the truth about her parents.”
“You mean like how she has a dad who couldn’t be bothered with her?”
Avery’s gaze snapped to him in surprise. Damn him, she still couldn’t read his expression. Was he saying he believed Nell was his now? Or merely speaking in generalities? She took her time coming up with a response. After all, she didn’t want to antagonize him. She was walking a precarious line.
“That would rather be up to you,” she said softly. “But perhaps more accurate would be a dad who cared enough to see she was brought up in a home where she was wanted and loved.”
“You want me to give up my rights.”
She could feel his eyes on her, penetrating like they were boring a hole right into her skull. “Do I want to legally adopt her? Of course. This isn’t about denying you anything, Callum. It’s about a secure future for Nell.” She made herself face him. “Just yesterday you were certain you didn’t have any rights. Have you changed your mind?”
His eyes were dark and rich, like the deepest espresso she used in her mocha fudge recipe. They were the kind of eyes that a woman could get lost in if she let herself. The kind that held dark secrets. A man like Callum Shepard was a broody, wounded warrior that a lot of women would see as a personal challenge. The kind that would make a woman want to be the one to break down the walls and get to the man underneath.
Assuming, of course, they didn’t get their hearts broken first. Avery certainly couldn’t afford a challenge like that. That sort of thinking almost always ended in disaster. She’d seen way too many relationships fail because one of the people involved felt they could “fix” the other. She liked to think she was smarter than that.
“Her hair,” he said softly, but the built-in roughness to his voice made it sound deep and husky and sent delicious tingles along the back of her neck.
“What about it?”
“It’s dark and curly. Like mine.”
Her lips dropped open. “Seriously? That’s what convinced you? I’m a liar but the hair doesn’t lie?”
The corner of his mouth twitched. “You’re insulted. Not as much fun to be on the other side of judgment, Miss Spencer?”
Nell began to fuss, brilliant timing as it saved her from answering. Avery made herself busy by unclipping the T-strap securing the baby and then lifted her out, put her on her knee and held her snugly while her free hand straightened the frilly dress, smoothing it over white bottoms that covered her diaper in a profusion of ruffles. Content to be cuddled, Nell shoved her fist in her mouth and gnawed on it happily.
“I’m going to suggest something and I don’t want you to get offended again.” Callum leaned back, resting against the bench.
“I can’t promise that,” she responded. “But let’s hear it anyway.”
“I’d like a paternity test.”
The words made it sound all so real, which was ridiculous because Avery knew she wouldn’t have come all this way if it weren’t real to begin with. Last night she’d been angry but strangely relieved that he’d wanted nothing to do with Nell. How terrible did that make her? She was well aware that the feelings of relief were based on what was best for her and not best for Nell. She would have given anything to have known her father as she was growing up. How could she be relieved that Nell wouldn’t have that, either? It was beyond selfish.
A paternity test would prove that Nell was his. Then how far would he push things? Would he demand custody? Parental rights, certainly…
“You still don’t believe me,” she answered shakily.
He sat up and leaned toward her a little. “Look, it’s not personal. It wouldn’t matter who was sitting here right now, I would still have my doubts. I would still want concrete proof. I don’t take anyone at their word, okay? Words change. Proof? That doesn’t change.”
“And when you have that proof? What then?”
“I don’t know. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
He could have the power to take Nell away. Avery had been well aware of it before she’d even set out on this trip. It was why she’d put it off for so long. She just hadn’t been able to make herself do it, to plant the seeds of her own destruction. Because losing Nell would destroy her.
Nell was the only family Avery had left. Years ago she’d still had her mother, but Laura had moved to Vancouver and rarely ever contacted the two girls, she was so involved in her own life. They’d been abandoned not only by one parent, but by both. With Crystal gone, there was no one. Except Nell—Avery’s reason for getting up in the morning—and usually several times during the night, too. Especially lately. “She’s all I’ve got,” she whispered.
Maybe she shouldn’t have come. Maybe she should have just let it lie. Just her luck she had an overactive conscience.
“Relax,” he said. “You saw my place. Do I look like the kind of guy prepared for full-time fatherhood? What would I do with a baby and a farm to run?”
He leaned forward, close enough that she could see the fine lines in the corners of his eyes, and how his dark brown irises had tiny flecks of gold close to the pupil.
“I have no intention of taking her away from you,” he said with surprising gentleness. “If that’s what’s worrying you.”
Tears pricked the back of her eyes and she blinked them away. “But you still want proof,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I need proof.”
“I fly back to Ontario tomorrow.”
“Surely you can change your flight.”
Of course she could. But it wasn’t as easy as all that. “I do have a job, you know. I took a week off, but I have to be back…”
“A few days,” he suggested. “Enough time to set up the test and have it done. You don’t even have to stay and wait for the results. Once they’re in, we can discuss things over the phone.”
She looked down at Nell, whose attention was focused on a bright blue button. Her chubby fingers pulled and played with it, and Avery bounced her knee a little bit, making the baby look up and giggle with a toothless grin. She could afford a few days but that was all. When she wasn’t working she wasn’t earning money, and there were two of them to support now.
Besides, she didn’t want to play difficult. It was a simple and logical request considering the circumstances. If she refused, he could get nasty about it and have a court-ordered test if he wanted to, because whether or not he wanted to be a dad, for some reason he really wanted to know definitively one way or the other.
“A few days, but that’s all. We can stay here at the B&B. I’ll leave the arrangements for the test up to you, though. I’ve never done this before. I’m guessing you’ll have to contact your local doctor and set something up.”
“It’s not something I have experience in, either,” he pointed out. “But I’ll look after it. Give me your cell number so I can call you about the arrangements.”
She reached into her purse and took out a business card, flipped it over and wrote her number on the back. Nell grabbed at the pen, but Avery diverted her hand and reached into the diaper bag at her feet instead, and pulled out a teething ring. “Here, sweet pea. This is better for you to chew on than a pen.”
She gave him the card and he flipped it over. “The Icing on Top?” he asked.
“I’m a baker,” she replied. “I decorate cakes. Mostly cupcakes.”
“Cupcakes,” he repeated, making it sound as if it were the silliest job in the world.
Despite the improved tone to today’s meeting, it was clear to Avery that Callum had very little respect for her. It began with his skeptical attitude and continued with the assumption she could simply change her schedule to suit him and the dismissive tone when he asked about her job. She needed to be careful not to antagonize him, but she wasn’t going to go along with absolutely everything just because he suggested it.
She checked her watch. It was getting close to noon, and well-behaved as she was, Nell was going to start getting hungry soon. Avery knew from experience that leaving it too long would send the baby into full-on meltdown. “Is there a restaurant nearby? Somewhere that we can sit down, where they’d heat a bottle for me?”
He shrugged. “The Wagon Wheel diner is around the corner. It’s a run-of-the-mill family place, but the food’s good.”
“She’s going to be hungry soon. I’d rather stay a step ahead than deal with a cranky baby.” Politeness seemed to demand that she ask. “Would you care to join us, Callum?”
He stepped back. “Thanks, but I don’t think so. I like to keep to myself. And showing up with you and the baby…This is a small town. The gossip mill would be running before we’d even ordered.”
The rebuff felt like a slap. He couldn’t even call Nell by her name, instead referring to her as “the baby.” And he didn’t want to be seen in public with Avery—not for this conversation and certainly not sharing a meal. She shoved the pen and teething ring into her purse and made short work of strapping Nell back into the stroller. She stood and put her hands on the handles. “We won’t keep you, then.”
“Yes, I need to get back. Work to be done.”
His precious work. Of course.
“Call me when you have an appointment time.” She lifted her chin. “If you could do that right away, I’d appreciate it. I do have to adjust my travel plans.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
He turned and walked away from her. She watched him go, the way his long stride ate up the ground and the pockets of his faded jeans shifted with the movement.
The man she remembered from the wedding had been tall and smiling, purposeful but with an easiness about him—like he might actually know how to let loose and have fun. What had happened to cause such a difference in him in such a short time? Because this version of Callum Shepard was abrasive, grouchy and had a very large stick up his posterior.