Undone by Her Tender Touch
She’d found the perfect place for her bakery and catering business. It was in a nice area. The terms were satisfactory. It had already been outfitted with the necessary facilities. All she’d need was a little remodeling to the front to accommodate eat-in customers and she’d be set.
After so long doing word-of-mouth events, she was ready for a more solid step. One that would give her a steady income versus never knowing when she’d land her next gig. Her meager savings had kept her in her current apartment, but if she didn’t start bringing in a regular income, it would be gone in a year.
She was certain she could qualify for a small-business loan, but in order to get the necessary funds, she needed a signed lease. Which she had, at least until her Realtor had called her to inform her that there was a problem.
Suddenly her dreams of cute cupcakes, yummy little pastries, intricately decorated bonbons and delicious-smelling breads evaporated.
She blew out her breath in a cold fog and mounted the steps to her apartment. She fumbled with the lock just as her cell phone went off, which only renewed her desire to toss it into oncoming traffic.
She managed to push inside to where it was a great deal warmer, and after kicking the door shut with her foot, she glanced down at her phone. It wasn’t a number she recognized, but given that she’d handed her number out to potential clients, she couldn’t afford not to answer the phone.
With a sigh, she punched the receive button and put it to her ear. “Pippa Laingley.”
She was in the midst of trying to shrug out of her coat when she heard Cam’s voice over the line.
“Pippa, it’s Cam.”
She paused and then chuckled, leaving her coat dangling from the arm that was bent to her ear. “Well, hello, Cam. What a surprise. I distinctly remember you saying you wouldn’t call. To what do I owe this honor?”
“One of the condoms broke,” he said tersely.
She quickly switched the phone to her other hand so she could shake away the coat. She left it there in the doorway and walked toward her living room, sure she hadn’t heard him correctly.
“Say that again,” she said shakily.
She sank onto the couch, clutching the phone tightly to her ear.
There was an indistinguishable sigh and then he said, “The condom we used in the shower. It broke. I didn’t discover it until after you’d left. Since we were in the shower, there would have been no … evidence … at the time. I didn’t notice.”
Her heart lodged solidly in her throat and she closed her eyes. No, she wouldn’t have noticed, either.
He’d been insatiable, but then so had she. The very last thing she’d considered at the time was whether the condom had performed as expected. Obviously if it would have happened at any other point, they would have known. But in a shower?
“Pippa, are you there?”
The strident demand shook her from her thoughts.
“I’m here,” she said faintly.
“There are things we have to discuss.”
She frowned. “Why are you only just now calling me? When did you discover this?”
There was a pause. “I found it yesterday after you left.”
“And you’re only just now telling me?” she shrieked. “This would have been good to know yesterday when there was something I could have done.”
Even as she was furious at him, she wasn’t sure what she would have done. A morning-after pill? It would have been a bit late for that, but what did she know about such things? She could have at least done some research and made an informed decision.
“Calm down, Pippa.”
The condescension in his tone just pissed her off even more.
“Don’t tell me to calm down,” she seethed. “You aren’t the one who has to live with the consequences of that broken condom.”
“Don’t I?” he snapped. “If you think an unplanned pregnancy doesn’t affect me every bit as much as it does you, then you’re delusional. Now quit shouting at me so we can discuss our options like adults.”
She bit hard into her lip to prevent the outburst straining to break free.
“Now, I assume from your reaction that you aren’t on any sort of birth control.”
“No one can ever accuse you of being stupid.”
“Cut the crap, Pippa. I get that you’re scared and caught off guard. This isn’t a picnic for me, either. You taking this out on me helps neither of us.”
Realizing she was doing exactly as he’d accused, she went silent, her grip still tight around the phone. She should have thrown it when she’d had the urge. If she had, she wouldn’t be having this harrowing conversation right now.
“I think you should move in with me, at least until we know if you’re pregnant.”
Her mouth fell open and her brow creased in disbelief. “What?”
He sighed again. “Perhaps this isn’t a conversation we should be having over the phone. I can pick you up in an hour.”
She got her wits back in time to utter a hoarse, “No.”
“Then what’s your preference?” he asked impatiently.
She put her hand to her temple and dug her fingers into it, massaging the increasing ache.
“Look, Cam, I’m not moving in with you. That’s about the most absurd suggestion I’ve heard. We don’t need to talk face-to-face. Right now, I have no desire to see you. I’m in shock. I need time to figure out my options. I don’t need you breathing down my neck. If it turns out I’m pregnant, I know where to find you, and believe me, you’ll be hearing from me then. Until that point, I’d appreciate it if you just backed off.”
“Damn it, that’s not what I want. Look, Pippa, I need to know that you and the … baby … are safe. If there is a baby, I mean. The best way to do that is for you to be close where I know you’re taken care of.”
There was quiet desperation in his voice and an odd detached tone that suggested to her he wasn’t even focusing on the real issue at hand. His head seemed to be somewhere else and that annoyed her all the more.
He was worrying about her and a theoretical baby’s safety, and at this point she was just worried that there was a theoretical baby.
“I don’t care what you want,” she said evenly.
She pulled the phone away from her ear and punched the end button. Then realizing that Cam was the persistent sort, she turned it off and thrust it away.
She sat there for several long minutes, staring into nothing as she tried to absorb the implications of that broken condom. She wasn’t stupid enough to laugh it off and say something absurd like, Who gets pregnant from that one time? There were any number of pregnant women who’d naively asserted the same thing. She wasn’t one of them.
She shot to her feet, needing to do something. Information. Probabilities. She knew the timing was probably good, but she hurried to her bedroom to dig out her diary where she kept information on her menstrual cycle.
Any single, sexually active woman was a moron if she didn’t keep track of such things.
She slipped to the page where her last entry had been written and then calculated the days in her head. Then she let out a harsh groan. Could the timing have been any better? Not that she could possibly predict when she was ovulating, but if she went with averages, there was a good possibility that this weekend had been her prime baby-making window.
Okay, so it was entirely possible. The next thing she needed to do was figure out her options, if she had any.
She went back to that damnable phone, turned it on and ignored the cacophony of sounds signaling missed calls, voice mails and text messages. They were probably all from Cam. The man was likely on his way here.
She punched in Carly’s number and hoped like hell her friends were available.
A moment later, Carly’s sunny voice spilled over the line and Pippa sagged in relief.
“Pip! How’s it going? Have your lease all straightened out? I have to tell you I’m so excited for you! How did Ashley’s housewarming go? I was so sorry to miss it. I hope she wasn’t too disappointed.”
Pippa flinched from the onslaught and waited to get a word in edgewise. “Carly, are you free? I need the girls. This is an emergency.”
There was a brief silence and then Carly said, “Pip, are you all right? What’s happened?”
“I’ll tell you when we’re all together,” Pippa croaked. “Can you call the others?”
“You bet. Oscar’s?”
Pippa hesitated. “Yeah, but make sure we get a private table.”
“Do you want me to call Ashley?” Carly asked. “Is she still in Greenwich?”
As much as Pippa wanted and needed Ashley there, she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea. But she was just selfish enough to see if Ashley would make the trip in for her.
“See if she can make it,” Pippa said in a low voice. “But make sure … Tell her I want her to be careful.”
“If she knows you need her, she’ll be there,” Carly said in a comforting voice. “We’ll all be there, Pip. You know that.”
“Yes, I do, and I love you all for it.”
“Give me some time to get everything ironed out and then I’ll text you with a time everyone can meet. In the meantime you know you can come over. I only have one appointment this afternoon. You can always hang out here at the salon. I’ll even do your nails.”
Pippa smiled. “Thanks, Carly, but I’ll just meet you guys later. I need to figure some stuff out.”
Pippa could practically see her friend’s frown.
“I’m worried about you, Pip. Be careful, okay? I’ll see you as soon as possible.”
Pippa hung up the phone, relief so great she was shaky with it. She had the best friends in the world. Smart friends. They’d be able to help her figure this out.
In the meantime, she wasn’t sticking around the apartment in case Mr. Broken Condom decided to make an appearance. The very last thing she wanted right now was to face the potential father of her potential child.
Five
Pippa lengthened her stride as she neared Oscar’s. There was a mix of snow flurries and tiny pellets of sleet in the air, stinging her cheeks as she walked.
She’d hoped the cold would bring her around. Make some of the shock wear off. But she was still reeling from Cam’s phone call and all that was going to help her right now was an emergency session of the girlfriends’ round table.
She opened the door to Oscar’s and unwound the scarf she’d hastily thrown around her neck. She scanned the room, relief easing some of the awful tension when she saw her friends already seated in a corner booth way in the back. It was perfect.
As she made her way through the maze of tables, Tabitha looked up and waved fiercely. Sylvia, Carly and Ashley quickly turned. Carly rose as Pippa approached.
She got hugs from everyone and finally she squeezed into the booth beside Ashley, who looked at her with concern.
“What’s wrong, Pip? Carly called us all but she wouldn’t say what was the matter.”
“I haven’t told her yet,” Pippa said ruefully. “I may be jumping the gun here, girls. But I’m freaking out and need your help sorting through my options.”
“Oh, my God, what is it?” Tabitha exclaimed.
Sylvia frowned. She was the older and more serious-minded of the group. Not to mention ultrapractical. She’d have solid advice. Pippa would bet any amount of money on it.
Pippa drew in a deep breath. “I could be … Well, there’s at least a slim possibility that I’m pregnant.”
“What?”
Pippa winced as all four of her friends exclaimed at the same time.
Ashley’s eyes rounded and she stared at Pippa in question. “Oh, Pip, how sure are you?”
“I had a one-night stand the other night.” She glanced up at Ashley and grimaced. “With Cam. We left Ashley’s party together. He took me to his house and we had sex. Lots of sex.”
Ashley looked robbed of speech. Sylvia just kept wearing that frown. That damn disapproving frown that reminded Pippa way too much of how a mother would look. Well, Pippa’s mother wouldn’t look that way. She’d congratulate her daughter on snaring a wealthy baby daddy and then tell her to milk him for all he was worth. Not exactly mother-of-the-year material.
Oh, Miranda wasn’t evil. She wasn’t even a bad mother. She was just superficial and very mercenary. Pippa supposed she could even admire her mother for being so shrewd when it came to relationships. Miranda Laingley was out for number one and number one only. And she refused to apologize to anyone for it.
“I’m not following,” Tabitha said slowly. “Maybe I’m dense here. If you just had sex with him, why on earth are you worried about pregnancy?”
“Because one of the condoms broke and the timing is perfect in my cycle,” Pippa replied.
“Cam?” Ashley squeaked. “Okay, I knew you were kind of crushing on him, but you and him? Really?”
“You needn’t look so flabbergasted,” Pippa muttered. “The attraction was mutual, I assure you.”
Ashley looked immediately contrite and threw her arms around Pippa, hugging her tightly. “Of course it was, sweetie. Oh, my gosh, poor you!”
“I’m so unbalanced by all of this. The timing couldn’t be worse. Oh, my God, you guys don’t even know this yet. With the pregnancy scare, I just blanked it out, but the lease on the building space fell through. I don’t have a place for my shop. And now this. I’m trying to get my business off the ground. I have no health insurance and I’m in no way prepared to be a mother. I just want to cry, but I know that solves nothing.”
“You cry, honey,” Carly said fiercely. “We’ll figure this out.”
“You know we’d do anything for you,” Ashley said. “You all helped me so much when I was going through such an awful time with Devon. I can never repay you for that.”
Pippa sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that threatened. “You never have to repay me, Ash. I love you. We all do. I love all of you guys.”
“When exactly did you have sex?” Sylvia interjected.
“Saturday night. All of Saturday night. Well into Sunday morning.”
Sylvia reached for Pippa’s hand. “You can go to your doctor and have him advise you of the alternatives.”
“I’ll pay for you to go to the doctor, Pip,” Ashley said. “I’ll take you myself.”
An uneasy flutter settled into Pippa’s chest. She rubbed absently at the discomfort. It was the way she felt when she imagined taking measures to prevent a pregnancy that could already have begun.
“Pippa?” Sylvia asked gently.
“Oh, God, I feel so stupid,” Pippa whispered. “I can’t make that kind of decision in an instant. How can anyone?”
“Okay, what is your gut telling you?” Carly asked. “What are you afraid of? Is it the pregnancy itself that scares you? Or is it the idea of being an unwed mother and not being able to support yourself and a baby?”
“You aren’t making any of it sound appealing,” Pippa muttered.
“You don’t have to make a decision right this minute,” Tabitha broke in. “Taking a morning-after pill or getting a shot aren’t your only options. You could totally wait and see if you even are pregnant and then pursue your options then. Women have many choices these days, Pippa.”
Ashley squeezed Pippa’s hand and stared urgently at her friend. “If you want this baby, if there is a baby, you have to know we’d help. All of us. You wouldn’t be alone. I just want you to make the best choice for you. But whatever that is, you have our absolute support.”
Pippa could no longer hold back the tears. They streamed down her face as she stared at her best friends in the world. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.”
“You forget one important part of the equation,” Sylvia pointed out.
Everyone looked at Sylvia.
“The father. Obviously you’ll have us, but is he going to take responsibility in this matter?”
Pippa nodded. “He would. I have no doubt he would. I told him I’d let him know if I was pregnant and until then to back off. I just had to process all this, you know?”
“Yes, honey, we know,” Carly said sympathetically.
“This probably sounds crazy to all of you, but from the moment I realized there was a possibility, everything changed for me. I began to imagine this tiny life inside me and even though I could take a pill and it would all go away …” She took a deep breath. “I’m not sure that’s what I want.”
She looked up at each friend in turn, but she saw no judgment or condemnation in their eyes. All she saw was unwavering love and support. Determination. Loyalty.
“If … If there’s a baby. I think I want it.” She swallowed the knot in her throat and then spoke with more conviction. “I know I want it.”
“Take some time to get used to the idea,” Sylvia advised. “There’s no hurry. You don’t have to make up your mind today or even tomorrow.”
But Pippa knew the more the initial shock wore off, the more firmly she’d be entrenched in the idea of having and keeping her baby.
Her baby.
Already she felt fiercely protective of it.
Out of the wreckage of her shock and confusion came the very firm realization that she’d never do anything to end the pregnancy. Nor would she ever give up a child she gave birth to. Her possessiveness and the strong surge of love she already felt were shocking in their intensity, especially because she didn’t even know if she was pregnant.
If she was, whatever happened, she would keep the child. She’d go to Cam and together they’d work out an amicable solution.
Maybe she was being stupidly naive, but until he showed her differently, she was going to believe wholeheartedly in his sense of responsibility.
Her hands shook as she raised a glass of water to her mouth. After taking a long drink, she put it back down and then leveled a stare at her friends.
“Okay, girls, how long do I have to wait before I can take a pregnancy test?”
Six
Pippa paced the floor of her living room, trying not to stare at the little stick lying on the coffee table just a few feet away.
“It isn’t time yet,” Ashley said when Pippa stopped and hesitated.
“Why does it have to take so long?” Pippa exploded.
She couldn’t take not knowing another minute. The past weeks had been ones of unimaginable stress with Cam breathing down her neck, asking her every few days if she knew anything yet. The last time he’d asked, she’d all but screamed at him to back off. Maybe he’d finally gotten the hint or maybe she’d just sounded that desperate because he hadn’t been in contact for the past couple of days.
The hell of it was, he acted concerned. It almost seemed as though he was acting on the assumption that she was pregnant and had made it his mission to “check on” her frequently.
He was making her insane.
“It’s only been two minutes,” Ashley soothed. “It doesn’t do any good to sit and stare at it. It won’t make things go any faster.”
Pippa sank onto the couch. “You’re right. It’s driving me crazy, though. I just feel it. In my gut. I’m pregnant. And don’t tell me it’s some psychological crap and that I’m imagining all the symptoms. I’m just telling you that I feel different. My boobs are sore. I’m queasy. My smell is off. Weird stuff gets to me. Like the smell of cupcakes. Who the hell gets sick smelling a cupcake?”
Ashley smiled. “I don’t think you’re imagining anything, sweetie. Let’s wait for the results and then we’ll tackle the solution together. Okay?”
Pippa groaned and closed her eyes. The past three weeks had been a form of torture she never wanted to repeat. She changed her mind from day to day. One day she thought having a baby would be great. She and Ashley would have little playmates. On other days she thought she was solidly out of her mind and was terrified by the prospect.
And, well, she felt a little stupid. An unwanted pregnancy at her age? She wasn’t some stupid teenager playing around with unprotected sex. She’d always been so damn careful. Always!
She’d never considered herself terribly old-fashioned, but still, she’d preferred to have children within the boundaries of a loving, committed relationship.
“Okay, you can look now.”
They both stared at the stick on the coffee table like it was an ugly bug neither of them wanted to get close enough to squash.
Pippa’s stomach curled into a vicious knot. “You look. I don’t think I can.”
Ashley reached over and took Pippa’s hand, squeezing hard. “Just remember, that no matter what the outcome, it’ll be okay. I promise.”
Pippa nodded, then slammed her eyes shut as Ashley reached for the stick. She didn’t even want to see Ashley’s reaction. Her heart thundered until she could feel it jumping into her throat.
“Pippa,” Ashley said gently. “Open your eyes.”
Pippa cracked open her eyes to see Ashley’s solemn expression. Ashley laid the stick back onto the table, her gaze still centered on Pippa.
“What?” Pippa demanded, unable to stand it any longer. Ashley’s expression told her nothing. Nothing at all! “Am I pregnant?”
“According to the test you are,” Ashley said slowly.
Pippa deflated in a whoosh, sagging forward as she reached for the test, wanting to see the confirmation herself. It was a bit blurry and she blinked rapidly to bring it into focus.
And there it was. A big, glaring plus sign that pretty much said, Yes, you’re pregnant.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered.
Ashley looked uneasily at her. “You aren’t going to do something crazy like faint on me, are you?”
Pippa managed to close her mouth, but she was numb from head to toe. It was as if Ashley was talking from a mile away and Pippa was having this surreal out-of-body experience. The entire room seemed to slow down and become a big void of white noise.
Pregnant.
With Cam’s baby.
Mr. I Don’t Do Relationships.
Mr. I Won’t Call You.
As screwups went, this one was epic.
She closed her eyes again and groaned. “What am I going to do, Ash? Cam is going to freak. He gave me this long speech about how he didn’t do commitment, it was just sex, blah, blah, blah. A baby is definitely a commitment.”
“Take a few days. Let yourself come to terms with the shock. Then talk to Cam,” Ashley advised.
“I need to talk to him now.”
Ashley frowned. “Pip, you’re upset. You aren’t thinking rationally. The last thing you need is to go up against Cam. He can be … He’s intense, okay? He’ll bulldoze over you.”
“No one’s going to bulldoze me. I need to talk to him now. Other than me, this affects him the most. He deserves to know so he can start planning accordingly. It’s not like I’m going to wait a week and then suddenly decide not to tell him. The result will be the same no matter when I talk to him, so why wait? Besides, he’s been blowing up my phone for weeks now. No sense holding off any longer.”
Ashley sighed. “I just don’t want you to make any impulsive decisions. He can be persuasive. That’s a nice term for it. He can be ruthless.”
“I can hold my own with him. I’m not afraid. This is as much his problem as it is mine. I’ll be damned if I spend the next week agonizing over my future alone. If I suffer, so can he.”
A laugh escaped Ashley and her eyes danced merrily. “Okay, you just convinced me that he won’t rip you to shreds and have you for dinner.”
“Damn right he won’t,” Pippa muttered. “If he even tries, he won’t ever have to worry about fathering another child.”
Ashley laughed again and then impulsively leaned over to hug Pippa. “You know, this is going to be just fine, Pip. We’ll be pregnant together for a little while at least. Devon and I will do anything we can to help, and you have Tabitha, Carly and Sylvia. Oh, and my mother. She views you as another daughter, and when she finds out you’re pregnant, look out. She’ll have you packed in so much bubble wrap you won’t be able to breathe.”
Pippa grinned. “I love your mama.”
“And she loves you.”
Pippa sighed and then rose from the couch. “Not to be rude, Ash, but I need to do this before I end up losing my nerve. I just want to get it over with so I don’t have to live with unnecessary stress.”