The Forbidden Marriage
He could never find out she was attracted to him.
“Please tell me you two won’t be leaving before tomorrow,” Sherilyn pled. “Graham and I would like one more day to spoil the brother I hardly ever see.”
“Don’t worry,” Michelle spoke before Zak could. “He’s too weak to travel today. Also, Mike is taking me to dinner tonight.”
Hoping the introduction of the other man’s name into the conversation would somehow neutralize Zak’s power over her, she leaped from the chair and pushed it aside.
“I’m going to bring you some ice chips and Coke. While I’m downstairs I’ll phone Carlsbad Hospital and see if the doctor will do something about your nausea today. Hand me the tray will you, Sherilyn?”
Her sister-in-law gave it to her. “Ask Graham to drop by the pharmacy for the medicine. He’s coming home early.”
Michelle was glad her brother, a successful patent attorney, would be joining them soon. She needed space to sort out her emotions and get a grip on the situation.
The revelation about Lynette had been bad enough. By confiding in Michelle, Zak had made her party to certain private information which at this stage she agreed was better kept from Graham and Sherilyn. But Lynette’s infatuation wasn’t going to go away overnight.
As for Michelle’s awareness of Zak, that had to end right now! On her way out the door she heard him say, “Coke sounds good.”
She continued downstairs to the kitchen where she phoned information for the hospital’s number and made the call. After being put on hold several times, she was able to talk with the doctor who’d released Zak.
She explained she was the nurse hired to take of him. They discussed Zak’s therapy and his nausea. The doctor told her to have the pharmacist in Riverside phone him on his cell, and he’d prescribe something.
Relieved for Zak’s sake, she thanked him, then called her brother who said he’d get in touch with their pharmacist and handle things from there. Once she’d given him the doctor’s phone number, she told him she’d see him later.
With that taken care of, she went back upstairs carrying a tumbler of shaved ice and a cold can of Coke. She found Sherilyn seated on the side of the bed talking with Zak about his latest construction projects. His gaze swerved to Michelle’s and he stopped talking.
She approached the bed. “Graham’s on his way to the pharmacy right now to pick up your medicine.”
“Thank heaven,” Sherilyn exclaimed.
“Until he gets here, try alternating ice chips with sips of Coke. Let me prop you first.” Michelle put the things on the side table before showing him how to grip her arm and sit up using his feet and hips rather than his torso for traction.
Since the age of twenty-two when she’d become a registered nurse, and later after she’d gone on to specialize in orthopedics, she’d worked with dozens of male patients both in the hospital and later, after Rob’s death, at her patients’ homes.
She’d dealt with the broken bodies of old people, teens and athletes in the peak of physical condition. With one exception she’d never felt anything but professional concern for her patients’ welfare.
In Mike’s case, his determination to put their relationship on a personal level had won out.
Nursing Zak was something else again. She didn’t know how long she could keep up a pretense of indifference when everything about him set off her latent hormones.
It wasn’t just that he was a beautiful man according to the male order of beauty. After all, he’d been a very attractive teen. It was more than that. There was something in the way he moved, talked—his unique outlook on life—that aura of confidence and self assurance he’d always possessed—
All of it had combined to make him incredibly appealing to her and undoubtedly to any woman who knew him.
As if they had a will of their own, her eyes met his while he was drinking his Coke.
“You always did know what I needed,” he said between swallows.
Michelle could scarcely breathe. The only thing to do was put distance between them.
“As long as Graham is on his way, and you’ve got your sister to help you, I’m going to leave for my house and come back for you in the morning. There’s a lot I have to do.”
She felt Zak’s penetrating glance. “Don’t forget your swimsuit.”
While the blood was still pounding in her ears she heard a voice ask, “Where are you going?”
To her shock, her niece had come in the bedroom and Michelle hadn’t even been aware of it.
Sherilyn stared in dismay at her daughter. “No hello first?”
Zak rested the can against his powerful thigh. His eyes still held Michelle’s. “I’m taking Florence Nightingale home with me tomorrow. Technically speaking she’ll be driving me, but it amounts to the same thing.”
Michelle was aware that if Lynette could wish her to the other side of the ocean, she’d be there now.
Poor Lynette. No male students her age or any other could possibly compete with her uncle Zak.
“Michelle? When should I take his temperature again?”
Heat swamped her cheeks to realize Sherilyn had been asking her a question.
“This afternoon,” she said. “Hopefully by then the fluids and medicine will have settled his stomach. If it’s still elevated, give him some Ibuprofen. Get him up every hour to use the bathroom or walk around the room for a minute. I’ll be by at nine a.m.”
“In that case you’d better have an early night.” Zak’s unmistakable reference to her date with Mike reached her ears even though she’d disappeared from the bedroom.
CHAPTER TWO
“THANK you for dinner, Mike. I’d invite you in, but I still have some packing to do.”
His arm was stretched out across the back of the seat. He toyed with the natural curl of her blond hair that curved beneath her jawline. To her chagrin she felt no accompanying shiver of excitement.
“That’s all right. Carlsbad’s close to my grandparents’ beach house at San Clemente. Before we leave for Australia we’ll have a lot of nights together after your brother-in-law has gone to sleep.”
His words conjured an image of Zak lying on top of the bed this morning. Just remembering how he’d looked, how he’d made her feel, sent a flood of heat through her system.
Desperate for Mike to create that same kind of yearning inside her, she leaned toward him and pressed her mouth to his. It was the first time she’d taken the initiative in their relationship.
On a moan, he pulled her close and kissed her hungrily.
She should have expected this explosion of need on his part. They’d spent the last two months together while she’d helped him with his therapy. He was a normal male with normal desires.
She tried to get into it, but it seemed like the more she tried, the more it became the clinical experiment that it was. Before he started enjoying this too much, she pulled away guiltily.
“Good night, Mike. No—stay where you are.”
He reached for her hand and kissed the palm. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” He looked too happy.
With a quick nod, she opened the door of his sports car and got out. It only took a second to reach the lighted front porch of the house. She waved to him before letting herself inside.
Long after the purr of the motor had faded, Michelle was still standing in the middle of the living room, immobilized.
She should never have kissed Mike like that.
He’d been very patient with her so far. She knew he was hoping they’d become intimate in Australia. After reaching out to him just now, he was counting on it. But the whole situation had backfired on her because she couldn’t imagine kissing him again.
In truth, she couldn’t bear the thought of him touching her. The chemistry wasn’t there. It never would be. She knew that now.
Mike was a wonderful man. If he didn’t reconcile with his ex-wife, then he deserved to find a woman he could set on fire by her just thinking about him. Michelle wasn’t that person.
After her disturbing response to Zak who’d done absolutely nothing to make her come alive, she realized she couldn’t go on giving Mike hope. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
When he called her tomorrow, she would tell him Zak’s injury was more serious than she’d realized. Her brother-in-law was going to need her help for an indefinite period, so she wouldn’t be able to fly to Sydney with him after all.
The sooner Mike learned the truth, the sooner he could deal with his disappointment and move on. With a golf tournament coming up in a month, he needed to focus on his game.
Her gaze wandered around the room of the modest ranch style home where she and Rob had lived. It was here she’d nursed her husband until the last month when he’d had to be in the hospital.
After his death she’d liked getting away from it for weeks, even months at a time, then returning for a few days’ rest before another job came along.
Now a new job had come along. One she couldn’t have turned down without raising questions she couldn’t answer.
But this was a job different from any she’d had before.
She buried her face in her hands. How was she going to handle living with Zak day and night for the next month and not give herself away?
Until this morning she’d thought maybe she’d never feel the desire for physical intimacy with anyone again.
But one minute in Zak’s presence and she’d turned into a trembling mass of needs he’d ignited without even touching her or being aware of his effect on her.
She drew in a ragged breath.
Was it because Zak was so much younger than her husband or the men she’d been dating who were closer to forty, like Mike?
Rob had been thirty-seven to her thirty when she’d married him. They’d enjoyed a satisfying love life when he wasn’t too exhausted from being up in the night with sick children. She’d tried to get pregnant but it hadn’t happened.
After he fell ill, they mostly held each other. Some days and nights he felt good enough to make love, but those times grew less frequent as the disease took over.
Could it be she was one of those needy, over-the-hill widows whose senses only responded to the virility of youth anymore? She’d be thirty-six next March with a marriage already behind her.
Zak was a young and vigorous man still enjoying his single status until the right woman came along. A whole new world would open up to him when that happened.
Her feelings for Zak had always run deep because both of them had lost their parents in accidents. They’d had that loss in common and it had drawn them together. But it was shameful to be entertaining the thoughts she had about him now.
Though Lynette’s infatuation was no doubt alarming as well as irritating to Zak considering they belonged to the same family, he could forgive it because a young woman’s adoration was understandable. But if he could have known Michelle’s reaction to him this morning, he’d be repulsed.
If Mike knew how Zak made her feel, he’d be so hurt!
That’s why Michelle had to end it with him tomorrow.
After cleaning up the house, she got ready for bed. By the time her head hit the pillow, she’d worked out what she was going to say to him in the hope it would cause the least amount of pain.
But to her chagrin she wasn’t any closer to a solution that would make her immune to Zak’s powerful masculine appeal. All she could do was stay busy and mentally isolated from him when he didn’t require her help. That meant she needed to find an engrossing project.
She knew Zak had a computer at his work and the condo. Sherilyn and Graham had confided that e-mail was the best way to stay in touch with her brother between visits.
If it wasn’t too late, Michelle could use his to sign up for an on-line class through UCLA. Something challenging with a lot of homework, yet unrelated to her profession.
Relieved for that little bit of inspiration, she finally fell asleep. But it was fitful. She came awake before her alarm went off at seven.
After she’d showered and washed her hair, she dressed in blue denims and sandals. The rest of her outfit included a navy tank top layered with a white short sleeved, button-down blouse.
Yesterday afternoon she’d made arrangements about the house with the next door neighbor she paid to keep an eye on her place. Myrna Jensen had become a loyal friend who’d been so supportive of Michelle since Rob’s passing and could use the money. Michelle could trust the other woman to forward on her mail to Zak’s condo.
With that already accomplished, all she had to do this morning was pack.
And try to ignore this strange new sense of excitement she couldn’t ever remember experiencing before.
Surely it was a transitory aberration brought on because Zak had always been one of her favorite people. She hadn’t seen him for such a long time and he’d grown up a lot during the last two years.
That had to be the reason.
When she saw him again this morning, it wouldn’t be like yesterday. Her heart wouldn’t thud. She wouldn’t feel that weakness in her limbs. She wouldn’t concentrate on his mouth, imagining what it would feel like if it were covering hers.
Don’t, Michelle. Just…don’t.
She jerked a medium sized piece of luggage from the storage closet.
September at the beach could be warm to hot, or punctuated with days of fog and cooler weather, even rain. She’d better go prepared for any eventuality.
Michelle had become an expert at arranging things in one suitcase. As soon as she’d placed the cosmetic kit and medical case on top of her clothes, she closed the lid ready to go.
Remembering a time when Zak was recovering from an appendectomy and had enjoyed her reading to him, she pulled a couple of novels from the bookcase and put them in her purse along with her cell phone.
On the way out the door she grabbed the airline bag filled with crossword puzzles, board games, several decks of cards, a little battery operated radio, plenty of scratch paper and pens. Anything to help her patients escape the frustration of their physical inactivity. She never left for a job without it.
En route to Graham’s house she made three stops. One to a drive-in for breakfast. She ate while she drove to the service station to gas up the three-year-old Audi and get her tires checked. Last but not least, she bought several sacks of groceries at the supermarket. A half hour later she reached her destination and pulled in the driveway.
Because of Zak’s long legs, he’d be better off in a semi-reclining position in the front seat while they drove to Carlsbad. She got out of the car and went around to the other side to push the seat back as far as it would go. After making a few adjustments, she hurried past the tubs of flowering azaleas to the front door and rang the bell.
Her brother, who was dark blond with a lean six foot build, greeted her with a hug. His soulful blue eyes stared into hers. “I have to tell you I’m relieved you’re going to be the one looking after Zak. He puts on an act, but that’s all it is.”
“That chest tube was no fun, and he sustained a lot of bruising along with those fractured ribs. Give him a week and you’ll see a big difference. Is he running a temperature this morning?”
“A slight one.”
“That’s probably because he’s so anxious to get back to Carlsbad. How’s the nausea?”
“Sherilyn managed to get him to eat some scrambled egg and toast. So far he’s kept it down.”
“Good. The medicine’s helping then.”
“Thanks to you.”
She cocked her head. “Graham? Something else is wrong. What is it?” She was pretty sure she knew it had to do with Lynette, but she felt compelled to ask in order to be prepared for any eventuality.
He frowned. “Our daughter. Early this morning she came in our bedroom and announced she was withdrawing from her classes.”
Oh no.
“It seems she’s decided to find a full-time job. As soon as she’s earned enough money, she plans to move to her own apartment. Before we could get a word in, she left the house and drove off.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Zak’s always been a strong influence. If he weren’t incapacitated right now, I’d ask him to talk to her.”
Michelle’s eyes closed tightly. His lecture to Lynette yesterday on top of his rejection of her three weeks ago had burned her deeply. Was he even aware of this latest crisis? If not, she would tell him about it on the way to Carlsbad.
“I’m afraid her mother and I aren’t her favorite people right now,” her brother murmured.
This was one time she couldn’t comfort him. Not when she knew what was at the bottom of her niece’s unprecedented behavior. It was the kind of situation only time could solve.
“It’s obvious Lynette is trying to find herself. Maybe she should work for a while and find out what it’s like in the cold cruel world. By spring semester she’ll probably be eager to live at home again and get back in school with her friends.”
He raked a frustrated hand through his hair. “I hope you’re right.”
She put her arm around him. “I know those words are cold comfort at the moment. Just give it some time. She knows she’s got the greatest parents on earth.”
He gave her a brief smile. “Thanks. That’s nice to hear. By the way, how was your evening with Mike?”
“Good,” she answered without blinking an eye.
“Don’t let Zak give you a hard time about him.”
Her pulse quickened. “What do you mean?”
“I believe he’s as protective of you as I am.”
“Zak?” she cried softly.
Graham nodded. “He’s of the opinion Mike Francis is a womanizer. That’s the polite version of what he told me last night.”
“Zak should know the media sensationalizes everything. I’ve gotten to know the real Mike. He’s a terrific person.”
“I’m sure he is or you wouldn’t be dating him. That’s what I told Zak.” He winked. “Just thought you’d like to know I’m on your side.”
“I appreciate that.”
How ironic that she’d already decided to stop seeing Mike, and all because of Zak.
His mere existence was causing turmoil in this house. Judging by the shadows beneath Sherilyn’s eyes as she came down the stairs to find Graham, it wasn’t over yet.
“Darling? Zak heard the bell and wondered why you haven’t come up for him yet.”
“I’m on my way.” He kissed his wife’s cheek before taking the stairs two at a time.
Michelle hurried over to her sister-in-law and gave her a hug. “He was telling me about Lynette.”
“I can’t believe what’s happened.” Tears entered her eyes. “If that’s not bad enough, Zak’s going away again. We see so little of him as it is.”
“Why don’t you come to the beach on Sunday, with or without Lynette. I’ll fix dinner. We haven’t all sat down together for a long time. It’ll be good for everybody.”
It’ll be good for me to have family around.
“That makes me feel better already. I’ll bring the dessert.”
“Just bring yourselves. Let me wait on you for a change. In fact while I’m taking care of him, why don’t you plan on coming every Saturday for the next month and staying overnight.”
“You’d have to check with Zak first. He keeps his private life to himself, but I know he has a girlfriend because she called his room every day while he was in the hospital.”
For some strange reason Michelle didn’t want to hear about that. She didn’t want to think about him being intimate with another woman.
Furious with herself because she shouldn’t care about Zak’s private life one way or the other she said, “I guess we can talk about future plans on Sunday. Now tell me where his medications are.”
“In the kitchen. I’ll get them.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at the car.”
Relieved she wouldn’t have to have physical contact with Zak until they reached Carlsbad, Michelle hurried outside and opened the front passenger door.
The month wouldn’t be nearly as difficult to get through if the family showed up on a regular basis. Maybe a miracle would happen and Lynette would come to her senses before this weekend was over.
Michelle slid behind the wheel and shut the door, ready to begin her nursing job. That’s what it was. She had a patient to take care of. Period.
Out of the periphery she saw Zak walk slowly toward the car with her brother and sister-in-law bracing him on either side. This morning he was dressed in sandals and the same pair of gray sweats.
Her thoughts raced ahead. In a few minutes they were going to be alone. She sat there and waited, not daring to look at him.
No one could actually help Zak get in the car. The breath he expelled when he lay back against the seat told her what the effort had cost him.
Graham set an overnight bag in the back seat, then shut both doors. “Drive safely.”
Sherilyn nodded. “Two of our favorite people are inside.”
“Michelle was always an excellent driver,” Zak murmured. “For a number of reasons I couldn’t be in better hands.”
Zak’s voice seemed to have taken on a velvety quality just then. She’d felt it resonate to the very core of her being.
Her hands tightened on the wheel. “I promise to call you when we get there so you’ll stop worrying. See you on Sunday,” she called to them before backing out of the driveway.
Once they drove off he drawled, “What’s happening on Sunday?”
“They’re coming for dinner.”
“That sounds nice.”
“I think so, too.” She was pleased the thought of it made him happy.
“It’ll be good for Lynette to see everyone together,” he murmured.
His comment convinced her he didn’t know the latest development. She waited until they reached the freeway to tell him what had happened earlier that morning.
“Your remarks to Graham were right on,” Zak said when she’d finished relating the gist of the conversation with her brother. “Lynette’s perspective will change once she’s part of the working world. She’s a smart girl. Given time she’ll figure out her life.”
“That’s easy enough for both of us to say, but then she’s not our daughter.”
She bit her lip when she realized what she’d just said.
“If Lynette were ours, at least we know we’d be in agreement over our course of action. Speaking of children, I know you always wanted a family one day. Did Rob’s illness affect your ability to conceive?”
Considering the fact that she and Zak used to be able to talk about anything, she shouldn’t have been surprised by his personal question. But that was before this…awareness of him had sprung into existence with a life all its own.
She had no choice but to tough out moments like this if she was going to last as long as it took to take care of him.
“He became ill before I could make an appointment with my obstetrician to undergo tests for infertility. When Rob was diagnosed, he felt it best we didn’t pursue trying to bring a child into the world.”
She could still hear her husband saying those words in his quiet yet implacable tone that brooked no argument.
“I realize his opinion was colored by all the single mothers whose children he took care of in the emergency room. No father around, no husband providing for them. No hope for a happier future. He wanted me to be free to get on with my career, my life.”
She heard Zak take a deep breath. “His reasoning makes perfect sense. In his place I would have said the same thing. To know you were going to die would bring out every protective instinct to leave your spouse in the best circumstances possible.
“But I’m not in his place yet, thank God, and I can see how much comfort you would have derived from having his child to love and nurture.”
Don’t say anymore, Zak. You understand too much. You have a wisdom beyond your years. You always did.
It was time to change the subject.
“Sherilyn told me there was a woman who called you at the hospital every day. I don’t remember hearing her name.”
“It was probably Breda Neilson.”
That sounded Scandinavian. Most likely she was statuesque and beautiful.