A Ranch to Call Home
Out on the back porch, she stretched her protesting back and shoulders. Sitting that long had allowed her muscles to stiffen, and she’d worked so hard to build them up. The first time she’d gotten out of the hospital bed in San Antonio, she’d landed on her backside, her muscles like jelly. She’d done it in front of the drill-sergeant nurse, but that weakness made her realize she needed to fight.
Midnight was in the corral behind the barn, as Gramps had said. A ride just might be the thing. Besides, after talking to Nan and Gramps, she had a few things she wanted to discuss with her brother.
Nan had been great after Kaye had told her what her job in the army had been. Kaye planned to talk to the other two members of the committee later, after she “chatted” with her brother. He was still the head honcho and she needed his input.
Stopping before the fence, Kaye called out to the horse. “Midnight, want a peppermint?” She held up the treat and noisily unwrapped it. The horse trotted to her side, putting her face near Kaye’s hands. “Oh, you’re easy. Didn’t take much convincing, did it?” The horse happily lipped the candy. Kaye slipped the bridle over the horse’s head and walked her into the barn. It only took moments for Kaye to saddle the mare. Kaye found the wooden folding steps they kept in the corner of the barn and used them to mount the horse. She looked forward to the day she wouldn’t need the extra help with mounting. Before the accident, she could pull herself into the saddle with ease.
She shook off the pity party. There was no use in playing the what-if game.
Touching her back pocket, Kaye made sure she had her cell phone. She considered calling Joel, but she wanted to surprise him with questions about the rodeo and didn’t want to give him time to come up with an excuse.
She studied the western horizon, noting the gathering clouds. “It looks like we might get some rain,” she told Midnight, patting the horse on her neck. “We can only pray it does.” She guided Midnight back inside the barn and snagged her old cowboy hat from a hook. It amazed her that her brother had kept it, but she’d put it to good use.
“Let’s see if we can find the guys before we have some weather.” She remembered they’d talked about checking the stock at the western edge of the ranch.
As she rode away from the barn, she felt a freedom, and long-ago hopes flickered to life in her heart, sparking a smile. The years seemed to melt away and she didn’t have a care in the world.
Her body relaxed into the rhythm of the horse’s gait. When she was in the army, she’d always found a stable where she was stationed so she could ride, but riding here at her family’s ranch brought back good memories. The wind picked up and the sky grew dark. After several minutes, when she still hadn’t seen any signs of either Joel or Caleb, she considered going back to the ranch house. The land dipped toward a small stream. Trees grew in abundance down here by the river, and it was always a place where they had to rescue stray calves. Maybe she’d find the guys there.
As she headed toward the stream, a blinding light split the sky, and the ground shook with the earth-shattering sound. Her mount danced sideways and electricity seemed to race over Kaye’s skin, raising the hair on her arms. She struggled with the reins, trying to keep the horse from bolting.
“Easy, girl.”
The horse’s head came up and Midnight shook. Kaye patted the mare’s neck. “Easy.” What she didn’t need was her mount charging off in a blind panic.
As she nudged her horse forward, she thought she heard her name, turned and saw Caleb racing toward her.
Before he could reach her, the sky opened up as if someone had turned on the shower full throttle. These were no little droplets but a full barrage of stinging drops.
“Let’s take cover under the trees,” he shouted, nodding toward the stand of trees.
They both headed for the shelter. They were almost there when another flash of lightning streaked across the sky. The boom nearly threw Kaye off her horse, singeing her skin and throwing her back to another blast that tore her world apart.
* * *
“Wow, that was close.” Caleb looked around to make sure the lightning hadn’t hit any of the trees surrounding them. When Kaye didn’t answer, he turned to her. They were both drenched and the cold rain ran down his back in rivulets. But what chilled him was Kaye’s blank expression.
“Kaye, were you hit?”
Kaye appeared frozen.
He nudged his horse closer to her. “Are you hurt?” He did a quick scan for any injuries.
Again, she didn’t answer.
“Kaye, are you okay?”
Her eyes were wide-open, but she wasn’t seeing him next to her. She clutched her horse’s reins so tightly that her fingers had gone white. Her mount danced nervously. Caleb reached over and pried her fingers loose from the reins. Her body began to shake so hard, he thought she’d fly apart. And she wasn’t doing her mount any favors.
“Kaye?”
Nothing.
Another flash of lightning, accompanied by booming thunder filled the air. Kaye seemed to shrink farther into herself.
Caleb grabbed Midnight’s reins and wrapped them around his saddle horn, then pulled Kaye from her saddle and settled her in front of him. He took off her cowboy hat and folded her close to his chest.
Her body shook as if she were on a Tilt-a-Whirl at the state fair. He rested his chin on her head and rubbed his hand over her back. The world around them disappeared while Caleb held this brave woman, who was seeing another world, living through a different storm.
He could only guess at the horror she saw, but he knew she’d endured a lot in the hospitals she’d been in. He experienced nightmares about the accident that had just happened with the rider who was hurt, but his nightmares were nowhere in the realm of hers.
Midnight danced, but Razor stood rock steady underneath him. Midnight calmed.
Caleb started praying. He might not know what she saw, but God did.
The storm raged around them, cutting them off from the world. The leaves shook, but only a few drops worked their way down Caleb’s back. As he prayed, Caleb felt a deep connection to this woman—one he’d never experienced before. He didn’t quite understand the feeling, but he recognized a wounded soul when he saw one.
He lost track of how much time passed, but the lack of sound finally caught his attention. The rain stopped as suddenly as it began.
Kaye’s body relaxed and she melted into him. He continued to hold her, lightly rubbing her back. After a moment, she stirred and looked up at him.
Slowly she became aware of where she sat. She didn’t cry or accuse but quietly waited for an explanation.
“You seemed a bit— Uh, Midnight panicked and—”
She looked down at her hands. “Thanks.”
No further explanation was needed.
He wanted to ask her what she was reliving, but from her closed expression, he knew she didn’t want to talk.
“I think I can ride by myself.” She refused to look up.
“So how do you want to do this? You want to try to slip your leg over Midnight’s back, or do you want to mount from the ground?”
She eyed the maneuver she would have to make to slip onto Midnight’s back from his horse. “I think maybe let me mount from the ground.”
He gently set her on her feet, handed back her hat then unwrapped her mount’s reins from around his saddle horn. She slapped the hat on and looked around—he guessed for a rock that she could mount from.
He dismounted and cupped his hands so she could use them for a boost up.
“Thanks.”
She stepped into his hands and he lifted her over her horse’s back. Her neck turned red.
He remounted his horse and they started toward the house. They didn’t talk as they rode, but as they topped the next-to-last rise before the ranch house, the sight and smell of smoke filled the sky.
Kaye stopped. Caleb stopped beside her.
“The house and barn are in that direction.” She glanced at him.
“There were several lightning strikes close to us. Maybe one of the trees or some grass burned.” At least he hoped that was all it was.
They kicked their mounts into a run. As they topped the last rise, their worst fears were confirmed. The back porch of the house was on fire. Joel and her grandfather fought the flames.
Riding down the hill, they galloped to the barn. Joel stood outside with the hose, and Gramps held a bucket. Caleb raced to the back of the house and dismounted on a run. He took the bucket from the old man and ran to the outside trough and filled it. He threw the bucket on the edge of the porch. Kaye went inside and grabbed the broom and started to beat the two-by-fours anchoring the screens.
They worked for several more minutes at fighting the fire until they had it out. Finally, Joel stepped back and held the hose at his side. “I think we’ve got it. Anyone see any smoldering spots?”
“Looks like it’s out,” Caleb said.
Gramps stumbled to the singed picnic table and sat. Caleb set the bucket down. He collapsed next to Gramps on the bench as Joel turned off the hose.
Opening the screen door, Kaye joined the others. Part of the porch’s roof was blackened.
“What happened?” she asked.
“I was riding in when I saw the bolt of lightning hit the porch. I vaulted off my horse and ran to the hose and started fighting the flames. Gramps came out the back door and tried to help, but—”
“I was sitting in my chair asleep when a loud crack woke me. What that tractor didn’t do, the boom nearly did.”
They looked at the smoldering roof of the porch.
“It could’ve been worse,” Caleb said. His words were punctuated by the roof crumbling onto the porch.
Silence settled until a choked laugh escaped Kaye. She looked around, guilt flushing her cheeks.
Joel shook his head. Caleb fought his smile while Gramps just shook his head and walked back inside.
Caleb thought about what Joel said. “Did you see the lightning actually strike the house?”
Under the soot on his face, Joel frowned. “I did. Why?”
“Horsefeathers.” Gramps’s comment drifted through the screened back door.
Caleb rubbed the back of his neck. “Because if there was a direct strike, it probably fried all the electronics in the house.”
Kaye sat down next to Caleb. “What else could go wrong?”
“Do you really want to know?”
She shook her head. “No.”
But when it rained, it poured. And it was raining hard.
Chapter Four
Kaye pulled the marshmallow out of the fireplace and placed it onto a graham cracker. She topped it with a square of chocolate and a second graham cracker, and handed it to her grandfather. “This reminds me of the first time you took Joel and me on a campout.”
Gramps accepted the treat and tried to take a bite but lost hold of the s’more. It plopped in his lap. He glanced at Kaye. “Nothing’s going right today.”
Kaye quickly picked up the s’more and put it on a plate. “I’ll make you another.”
Gramps shook his head. “Nope, just give me back that mess. I’ll finish it.”
Kaye glanced at Caleb and saw him grinning. A laugh bubbled up in her, but she didn’t think Gramps would appreciate it. After the events of this afternoon, you had to either laugh or cry. She put the plate with the s’more in Gramps’s lap. He picked it up and took a bite.
Caleb handed her another marshmallow. “You seem to get the marshmallow just right, so mind doing mine?”
Kaye’s emotions binged all over the place. There was that sizzle she felt, but also she was on pins and needles, worried he’d ask about what happened during the storm.
This flashback had been the worst she’d experienced.
“Kaye?” Caleb said again, holding out the marshmallow.
“Well, since your last marshmallow resembled the black mess on the back porch, I guess I could.”
Caleb grinned. “That last one I did looked exactly like the mess on the porch.”
The lightning had blown all the lightbulbs in the house along with all the appliances—big screen included. Even the hot-water heater had been fried. Joel called the insurance company on his cell phone and was told to leave things alone until the adjuster could get out to the ranch tomorrow. If they had any working cameras or if their cell phones had a camera they should take pictures of the damages.
They’d put the things from the refrigerator in an ice chest and had hot dogs for dinner. The fire in the fireplace was Gramps’s idea. They had only two lightbulbs in the pantry, so they’d replaced one in Gramps’s room but had to find a lamp that still worked to put in the other lightbulb. Luckily, all their flashlights worked.
“I wonder if we’re the only ones who got hit,” Joel said.
“I’ll ask when I call the other members on the committee. Oh, by the way, I talked to Nan today.” Kaye pulled the marshmallow out of the fire and handed the skewer to Caleb.
In the light from the fireplace, Kaye could see her brother’s guilty look. “Oh?”
“That’s why I decided to ride out to the field, to have a little talk with you.”
Joel shifted on the chair. “About what?”
“About all the details I couldn’t find in your pile. Have you assigned jobs to the various board members? Nan didn’t know what she was to do.”
In the dim light, Kaye couldn’t tell if he blushed, but he wouldn’t look at her.
Joel stuffed the last of the s’more in his mouth. “Not exactly,” he mumbled around the graham cracker.
Her brother acted more like a teenage boy than an adult male. Caleb and Gramps avoided looking at her, too.
“We’re going into town Saturday morning to meet with the other members on the board of the charity rodeo. If we’re going to pull this off in the allotted time, everyone needs to be assigned a job, so before I do that, I want to talk to all the board members.”
“Well, let me know how it goes.” Joel tried to hand her another marshmallow.
“Oh, no, big brother.” Her firm tone drew everyone’s attention. “You and Caleb are going with me. Remember, you promised to help.”
He opened his mouth, then closed it.
She readied herself to bat down any further arguments. “Gramps, if you want to come, you’re more than welcome.”
Gramps nodded. “Better than sitting here with nothing working.”
Kaye took the marshmallow from Joel.
“So why didn’t you just call, Sis? When that storm hit, I thought you were here with Gramps.”
She paled at the question and her gaze flew to Caleb’s. His expression remained neutral. “After talking with Nan, I wanted to get some straight answers from you.”
“And you found Caleb, instead.”
“I did.” Kaye battled the fear that Caleb would mention how she froze up.
“We were caught out there in the field when the lightning struck,” Caleb explained. “Nearly rattled all the teeth out of my head and didn’t do our horses any favors. We raced toward that copse of trees, took shelter and rode out the storm.” Nothing in his tone indicated she’d flipped out.
Joel’s eyes narrowed. “I had to fight my mount when one of those strikes hit close.”
“As I said, our mounts weren’t happy, either.” Caleb popped the last of his s’more into his mouth. Was there a pattern here? Stuff the mouth and don’t have to answer the question.
Kaye anxiously waited, but Caleb simply continued eating his treat. He nodded toward the bowl of marshmallows.
“Could you do in another one?” he asked between bites.
His question snapped her out of her anxiety. She searched Caleb’s gaze and realized he wasn’t going to say anything about her flashback. “Sure.” She put two marshmallows on a skewer and held it over the flames.
A weight lifted off her shoulders. Still reeling from the incident, she didn’t want her family to know about what happened. Flashbacks weren’t that unusual for combat veterans and she’d had a few before now, but this last one was a real doozy. The noise of the thunder and sudden change in the air pressure had resembled the moments around when the bomb detonated. She remembered being pushed down into blackness when the bomb had gone off in the café. Snatches of the minutes after the bomb floated through her memory.
The cries.
The moans.
The stickiness of blood on her face.
And the metallic smell of blood and biting smell of cordite.
Through the panic this afternoon, a prayer had pierced the nightmare. The words had been a lifeline in the sea of pain and terror that she’d grabbed on to and held until the nightmare receded. When the world had come back into focus, Caleb’s strong arms had surrounded her. He’d smelled of man and wet horse, which had been a blessing and comfort. It was reality that she held on to.
She’d feared Caleb might ask what was wrong, but he hadn’t. And he hadn’t ratted her out to her brother when he’d had the opportunity.
“I think those marshmallows are ready,” Caleb whispered.
Jerking the marshmallows back, she pushed one onto the graham cracker he held.
“Thanks.”
Kaye nodded, thinking she was the one who should thank him. She breathed a sigh of relief, and the knot in her stomach eased. Caleb had just won her respect. And gratitude. When she looked at him, there was no disdain in his eyes, simply understanding.
“Whoever would’ve thought we’d be roasting our dinner over the fireplace,” Gramps grumbled. “I remember it wasn’t until I was eight before my folks got electricity at their ranch. I liked the convenience.”
“Well, tomorrow’s going to be a big day. After the insurance man comes, I’m going shopping. If y’all want any input into the purchases, you’d better come with me.”
“You can do that, Sis. We’ve got a lot to do here.”
“You know better what appliances we need,” Gramps added.
“Fine, but I think we don’t need that big a TV again. It seems a bit extreme.” That brought both of them up short.
Gramps opened his mouth, but Joel beat him to the punch. “Just do it in the afternoon, Sis. We need to care for the stock.”
“Not a problem.” Kaye swallowed her grin. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the mirth in Caleb’s face. This wasn’t the first time she’d maneuvered around obstinate men.
* * *
Kaye couldn’t sleep. Each time she closed her eyes, the smell of burned wood filled her lungs, reminding her of her flashback and the horror of cresting that last hill and seeing her home on fire. Or of a burning café in Baghdad.
She threw back the covers and scrambled out of bed, looking around for her beat-up jeans. She threw off her sleep shirt, slipped on her army-issued T-shirt and her running shoes and headed for the barn. She needed to check on Midnight. They’d both had a tough day.
Slipping out the kitchen door, she noticed that the moon washed the charred remains of the porch in silver light. It didn’t look as stark in moonlight, but with daylight the ugly scars would be there again.
She identified with that. She looked okay from the outside, but if you shone sunlight on her, you could see the burned and damaged parts. Her legs were crossed with cuts and burns, and she had massive scars from the surgery.
When she walked into the barn, the warm, comforting scent of horse filled her lungs, replacing the biting, charred smell of wood. She walked down the stalls and stopped at Midnight’s. She slipped inside and softly crooned to the horse. Midnight woke and turned to her.
“Sorry, girl, for waking you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Obviously, you are.” Kaye rubbed the horse’s muzzle. The horse snorted and nodded her head. Kaye slipped out of the stall, grabbed a curry brush and went back inside. “I didn’t mean to freak out on you.” With long strokes she worked the brush over the horse’s flank. “This time was... There weren’t words for this afternoon.”
That fact rattled Kaye. And of course, that memory was joined by other hidden memories lurking in this house. All the joy and laughter of her childhood drowned out by the sorrow that had reigned those last months of high school. She’d tried to remain numb her last months home, but thoughts of her folks had kept ambushing her. Her mom wasn’t there to help her pick out a dress for prom if she’d gone, and her dad didn’t get to see her graduate. Grandma never showed her how to make her special Chess pie. They were all gone in an instant.
Her hand stilled on Midnight’s side as she tried to catch her breath. “Lord, I’m drowning. I need something to hold on to. What am I going to do?”
She heard Razor in the next stall. She looked at Midnight and whispered, “I wasn’t expecting that.”
Kaye slipped out of Midnight’s stall and walked to Razor’s half door. “I don’t think you’re who God sent, my friend.” Putting down the curry brush on the half door, she rubbed the horse’s nose.
“I don’t know. Razor’s a godsend for a lot of cowboys.”
Instinct took over and she dropped to a crouch, ready to fight. Caleb stood at the barn’s side door. She relaxed, then tensed, wondering how much of her conversation had he heard. Well, she’d just gut her way through. “What are you doing up?”
“I could ask the same.” Caleb walked toward her. “I heard someone out here, then Razor moving, so I came to investigate. With all that’s happened today, I thought it wise.” He had on jeans, a T-shirt and flip-flops. He walked to her side. “You couldn’t sleep, either?”
“Yeah.”
She needed to thank him for helping her through the storm and not mentioning it to her family. As she searched for the best way to say it, he said, “Things around here haven’t been dull. I think there’s more excitement than Joel, Gramps or I could’ve come up with.
“Putting out fires and lifting tractors wasn’t something I imagined doing when I came to spend a little time with Joel and Gramps.” His grin punctuated his words.
“Does that mean you’re going to desert us?” She tried to force as much lightness as she could into the words, but they sounded desperate to her ears.
His expression lost all humor. “No. I promised you I’d help, and I keep my promises.”
Instantly, she knew this man had been let down by someone he trusted and would not break his word.
“Have you changed your mind about working as the pick-up rider?”
“No. But I could recommend someone.”
“I’ll take you up on that offer.” She paused, wanting to find the right words. “Thank you for not saying anything to Joel and Gramps about what happened out there in the storm.” She swallowed. “That lightning strike was so much like... I heard the boom and felt that pressure and sizzle and suddenly...”
“You don’t have to explain.”
Kaye closed her eyes and nodded, shamed by her weakness. And she wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about her memories.
Razor butted her shoulder, throwing her off balance. Caleb caught her. She looked up into his face, and for an instant there was that connection again. Their moment was spoiled when Razor butted her once more. The horse’s persistence made her smile. “Is he always so contrary?”
“I warned you about him.”
She picked up the curry brush, walked into the stall and began brushing him.
Caleb laughed. “You, my friend,” he addressed Razor, “know how to manipulate folks.”
“No, he’s not a manipulator. Razor is honest in what he wants, unlike my ex-husband.” The words were out of her mouth before she thought about them. Her loose lips shocked her. Well, she certainly was airing all her dirty laundry today, wasn’t she?
Caleb continued to stroke Razor’s nose. “You’re right. Razor’s honest in what he wants and doesn’t choose to hurt others to satisfy his own needs.”
Ah, he’d been hurt, too.
Kaye continued to brush the horse but refused to look at him again, knowing that they’d both said too much.
After several minutes of silence, she looked up. Caleb was nowhere to be seen. She didn’t know how to feel. How was she going to face him tomorrow?