A Mother's Love
But Jake had been willing to help her.
She still couldn’t get over how friendly he had been, or how willing to help. She knew nothing about him. He didn’t know her, yet he’d pulled more information out of her than anyone else had over the past six months.
He was easy to talk to. Too easy.
And she’d been glad to have him there. That had made her automatically nervous. She didn’t need anyone. She’d learned that, and she wasn’t about to risk it now. But if she decided to take a chance, she thought, glancing out the window again, she’d definitely want it to be with him.
He certainly was gorgeous, she acknowledged as she watched him stand up straight Tall, a good six inches taller than her, and strong. He’d held her above the ground a minute ago while staring into her eyes as her condition dawned on him. He hadn’t acted as though she weighed anything. But where strength had scared her before, it was strangely reassuring when coming from the man with the gentle eyes. While her heart had been tripping over a surprising attraction, his had been recoiling at his discovery.
Her cheeks burned with embarrassment. It had to be her hormones that had made her react to the man.
Maggie opened her cabinets, trying to figure out what to fix. It’d been a while since she’d cooked. She was very careful and rationed her food to make it last Two bags of egg noodles, one larger bag of spaghetti noodles, four cans of tomato sauce, various spices, six macaroni-and-cheese dinners.
Spaghetti it was. She couldn’t offer him any of the other supplies.
She went to her freezer and looked in. One small container of hamburger meat and a whole chicken sat there.
She’d splurge and add meat to the spaghetti sauce. She pulled the meat out and put it in the frying pan to thaw, wishing again for a microwave.
But she couldn’t afford a microwave without a job. Nor would she be able to afford more groceries. That’s why her car was so important. Next week’s paycheck was supposed to go for groceries.
This week’s had to go for rent. She rented on a month-to-month basis, with the understanding that if she dropped over fifteen days behind she’d be evicted. She had three days to go.
Her jobs just weren’t bringing in enough money to support her, and she didn’t know what she was going to do.
When she’d walked in today and seen her manager’s face, she’d realized her parents had found out where she was.
Maggie had asked the manager point-blank if her parents were behind her dismissal. He’d avoided her eyes when he said no.
She had her answer.
She’d fought her parents on the decision about her unborn child, and they were determined that she leave the area…Her chest tightened on that thought
She would not think about the confrontation that had forced her from the only home she’d ever known, forced her into working the way she was. Through her trials, though, she’d come to appreciate money. All her life she’d had everything. It was good for her to find out what it was like to have nothing.
Or at least she kept telling herself that
Deep down inside, though, she felt lonely. God seemed so far away, as if he didn’t care. She couldn’t understand why He’d let everything happen to her that had.
Seeing that the meat was thawed, she opened a can of tomato sauce and then, thinking that both Tyler and Jake were big men, decided to open two. She’d find a way to buy more groceries.
She’d find a job.
At the thought of a job, she wondered what job Jake had in mind for her. Without references, no one would look at her résumé. If the job was in Baton Rouge, well, she might as well forget about it right now. Her parents controlled a huge business in Baton Rouge and were very well known in the business world. That was why she didn’t work there now. They’d put the word out that she was being a problem and rebelling. So of course no one wanted her. And if she did get hired, her parents would hear about it and make sure she didn’t keep the job.
She was too much of an embarrassment to them.
Maggie turned abruptly away from the sauce and went to the cabinets, where she pulled out a pan. After filling it with water, she dropped the noodles in to cook.
Looking around, she wondered what Jake would think of where she lived. The trailer had come furnished. A small, checked, broken-down couch sat against one wall; a chair across from it, with a coffee table in between.
She hurried across the room and snatched up her nightgown, which was lying on the couch. The shag carpet was clean. Though she didn’t have a vacuum, she’d used a broom yesterday to sweep it out.
The linoleum in the kitchen was cracked in places but had been mopped.
A small table sat in the corner with two chairs. On it was one place mat and a napkin holder—and a dead bug.
Yuck!
She hated the bugs. She’d never had bugs at her old house. Maggie went over and used a paper towel to sweep it into the garbage. One spray, maybe two more, and the place would be devoid of vermin.
A knock on the door sounded just as an engine started up. Maggie hurried over to answer it.
Jake stood there.
“Where’s your friend going?” she asked, seeing the other man driving away.
“He said to tell you thank-you, but he had to get home.”
“Oh.” She shifted uncomfortably; then, realizing she was keeping him outside, forced down her fears and stepped back. “Come on in.”
He nodded, a gentle smile on his face. “Thank you.”
He sniffed, and his mouth shifted into a wide grin. “That smells good.”
Maggie actually blushed. She was glad she’d gone to the trouble to add meat “Thank you. It’s not much. But I hope you like it”
Jake smiled at her. “I’m sure it will be delicious.”
She returned his smile. She couldn’t help it. Despite her wariness around men, she liked Jake. He had a warmth about him that she hadn’t seen in other men before.
Old bitterness reared its ugly head. After everything that had happened, she had at least expected her church and her family to support her. Yet they hadn’t Not one person had had the guts to stand up with her. Nor had a single person comforted her. Every single one had blamed her for what had happened, believed her a liar, a Jezebel, a Mary Magdalene….
“I’m sorry. Come on in. I have juice, milk and water to drink. I was just about to make up some tea, though.”
He smiled. “Tea sounds fine.”
“It’s herbal,” she warned, a hint of defiance creeping into her voice.
He frowned and walked forward. She stiffened, not sure what he was going to say. He floored her when he took her hand and stroked it
“I’m really sorry about my surprise out there. My only excuse is that I was so captivated by your face I never looked lower.”
She burst out laughing. “Now, there’s a line I’ve never heard.”
His smile returned, his eyes sparkled. “Be that as it may, I can only beg your forgiveness.”
Ruefully Maggie shook her head. “I’ll forgive you if you set the table.”
She pulled out two plates and silverware and handed them to him.
Jake easily arranged the table, noting the layout with a discerning eye. This woman was low on funds. He’d been in enough houses before to tell. The cabinets were bare, with nothing hanging on the wall to hint at permanence. And her clothes were probably secondhand since they didn’t fit her very well.
He felt guilty eating a meal she had prepared. He wondered if she had enough food. But he wouldn’t ask her. Jake didn’t know her well enough and wouldn’t stick his nose in unless he felt directed by God.
Besides, he still had the idea for a job that might work. But first, he had to put her at ease. He didn’t know why she was so worried, unless pastors just made her nervous.
“Have you lived here long?” he asked, taking the hot pot of noodles from her hands and setting it on the table.
“Thank you,” she said, and turned back to the stove to finish the sauce. “No. I moved in here two months ago when I came to this area.”
He nodded. “Here, let me help you,” he said, lifting the pan with the sauce in it from her.
“I’m pregnant, not helpless,” she muttered.
He grinned. “Consider it chivalrous. As long as there’s someone here to lift for you, why do it yourself?”
“I don’t want to turn into a lazy housewife,” she returned, sitting down.
He smiled, but his eyes were serious as he said, “I doubt that’d ever happen.”
She put her napkin in her lap.
“Do you mind if we pray?” he queried.
Surprised, she lifted her eyes. “Not at all.”
He watched her wariness finally fade, and she bowed her head.
After a quick prayer, they served up their plates.
“So, what about this job?” she asked.
Jake felt guilty for keeping her in suspense when he saw how interested she was, though she tried to hide it. “It’s here in town.”
“Not in Baton Rouge?”
He shook his head. “No. My secretary just quit….”
“Your secretary?”
Jake saw he’d surprised her again. “I guess I didn’t explain enough earlier. That’s why I inadvertently splashed you. I was talking on the phone and had just found out Shirley quit. I have no replacement and no idea who to hire. I need someone who has good bookkeeping skills, as well as secretarial skills. The person would also need to know about lumber and building and things of that nature, if possible. You see, we’re undertaking a major building project for the inner-city youth and I’m the one who is spearheading the project.”
“What project?” she asked.
“A large recreational center, a place where kids can go and be safe.”
She nodded. He could see the cautious hope in her eyes. “I think I could handle the job. But what about references?”
Holding up his fork that had spaghetti on it, he said, “This is reference enough.”
“I’m serious,” Maggie said, frowning. “I don’t have any references. I can’t get any. Why would you consider hiring me without them?”
He wondered if Maggie realized how negative she sounded. Patiently he explained, “Any woman who is trusting enough to fix a stranger a meal simply because he helped her out is reference enough with me. In my opinion it tells me you aren’t totally self-absorbed and that you care.”
She stiffened. “You’ve drawn a lot of conclusions from one simple act of kindness.”
“Maybe God is prompting me, too,” he quipped.
She didn’t return his smile. He cleared his throat “The hours would be full-time. Of course, with your condition, we could certainly allow time for rests and doctors appointments. And the last person who helped me also ran the children’s programs and assisted me on Saturdays with the kids.”
Puzzled, she asked, “Just what type of job is this? Lumber, kids, children’s programs? Do you treat your entire staff this way?”
Jake stilled. He’d told her what his job was, hadn’t he? Surely he wouldn’t have forgotten something so important that would put the woman at ease immediately and stop her from worrying about him being some rapist “Didn’t I tell you what I do for a living?” he asked.
Caution immediately returned, dominating her small round face, and she set her fork down. “No, you didn’t”
He widened his eyes in dismay. “I’m so sorry, Maggie. I’d thought I mentioned it when I introduced myself. I’m the local pastor at the church down the road.”
Chapter Three
She paled.
He’d seen it before. People oftentimes reacted negatively to his position. He just hadn’t pegged Maggie as that type. Then she glanced down at her stomach, and he saw her problem. “Maggie,” he said, pulling her look back to him by the soft yet authoritative tone in his voice. “I’m still the same person I was ten minutes ago. So are you. I still want you for the job.”
She glanced everywhere before finally, reluctantly, turning her gaze back to him. “If you’re willing to try me out on a trial basis, how can I refuse? What about my car?” she added, pushing her plate away. “Can you tell me if it’s working so I can get there?”
“Didn’t I mention the house?”
“What house?”
Jake ran a hand through his hair. “You’ve disrupted more than my dinner, Maggie.” He was usually so efficient, keeping his mind on the problem at hand. Maggie had the ability to make him forget everything. “There’s a small house next to the church. The rent is very cheap. It’s only a two-bedroom, eight hundred square feet. But it’s roomy enough for one person. My last secretary lived there.”
He named a price that was lower than what she paid here.
Her eyes widened. “You’re not misquoting the amount on purpose, are you?”
“No. Since the job doesn’t pay much above minimum wage, the rent is cut way back. We make just enough to keep up repairs and pay the taxes each year. That way, the secretary, who ends up spending almost as much time as I do at church, will have a place to live that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.”
“Where do you live?”
He could tell she hadn’t meant to blurt that out. She actually blushed. He couldn’t help but grin. “Well, I don’t live there,” he drawled, and her blush deepened. “The house is yours, if you want it. If not, we’ll rent it out to someone else.”
How could she pass it up? “I guess I agree,” she replied. Staring at the man in front of her, she still found it hard to believe he was a pastor. He was so good-looking and so sweet. He hadn’t condemned her for her condition or questioned her about it. Instead, compassion showed in his eyes as he smiled at her. Not pity. Never pity. She would have thrown him out if he’d given her the look of others. That look of condemnation. The look her parents had given her. No, he simply smiled at her as if she was an actual person, as if he might understand what she was going through.
Of course, that was impossible. Why would he have to worry about what everyone thought of him or be on guard constantly?
Then she realized that was it As a pastor, she imagined many people had the opportunity to dissect him over lunch, just as her parents had done with their own pastor. Maybe he did know something of the humiliation and pain she’d been through because of the way everyone had treated her.
Still, working for a pastor. At a church. She wasn’t sure. She loved God. But she hurt so much. It seemed that everything that could go wrong had gone wrong in the past seven months. And it all evolved around her family and church friends.
She’d blamed God for casting her out.
I will never leave you or forsake you.
That inner voice reminded her of God’s promise. Then why? Why had all this happened to her? Why wasn’t she allowed to have any happiness?
Jake was offering her a chance at peace, if not happiness. And she had just said she would take it. “I’ll be glad to move in then,” she said, and that settled that.
“Good!” He clapped his hands, finished off his spaghetti, then stood. “I need to get going. Listen, is two days from now too soon to move you? That would be Saturday, and I’m sure I can find some men to come over and pack up whatever you want to take. We could get you moved in and unpacked in one day.”
“I don’t have much. The furniture’s not mine. All I have is one suitcase, maybe two.”
He paused, his look probing her. She stiffened, certain the questions would come. Instead, he smiled. “Great. Then we’ll have the house ready for you Saturday. I’ll come by with a couple of the women so we can help you get the house cleaned up for inspection.”
“I don’t need any help.”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Don’t balk, Maggie. Of course you need help. You’re pregnant.”
“I haven’t had any help yet,” she blurted out, then gasped; Maggie clapped a hand over her mouth.
Silence fell, and Jake studied her a minute. He reached out and stroked her cheek with his finger. “You’ve had a tough time of it, haven’t you, Maggie? And it’s hard for you to trust”
Unexpected tears filled her eyes.
He dropped his hand and cleared his throat, stepping back instead of forward the way he wanted to. “Don’t worry. You’ll be welcome at church.”
“But what will people say to you?” she asked, not believing him. “You’re going to catch the very devil for hiring a single pregnant woman.”
There, she’d said it She was single and not married. She couldn’t tell him the rest But that was enough to condemn her in most people’s eyes.
She waited. A slow smile curved his lips, lighting up his face. “‘Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer,’” he quoted from Romans.
“And what do you mean by that?” she asked, not understanding.
He grinned. “Well,” he drawled, “we can hope no one says anything. But if someone does, then we can be patient and pray and allow God to handle the problem.”
She shook her head. “An optimist.”
“God gave us hope when He sent His son, Maggie. Why let someone’s possible actions rob us of that?”
Maggie raised weary eyes to Jake’s. “I’ve learned already that the world isn’t a place of optimism.”
“Look inside yourself. Ask God to restore your joy. Don’t let them,” he said, waving his hand toward the outside, “rob you of it There are always going to be negative people around who can’t stand to see you succeed or be happy. And there are always going to be people to kick you while you’re down. But if I think you’re a good secretary, as I know you’re a good person, then no one is going to tell me who to hire and who to fire.”
“But you don’t know if I’m a good secretary,” she argued, frustrated.
He grinned. “Then don’t disappoint me.”
He went to the door. Pausing on the bottom step, he turned back toward her. “See you Saturday, Maggie-May,” he singsonged.
She couldn’t help the reluctant smile that came to
her lips.
She’d never met anyone like Jake.
Not even her ex-fiancé. Her ex-fiancé. Boy, had that been a mistake. She’d thought he loved her. She’d thought she loved him. But then she’d changed her mind.
She didn’t want to think about the trouble, think about the nightmares it gave her. Instead, she wanted to think about the laughing eyes of the gorgeous man who had just given her a ride home and rescued her from certain poverty.
But she knew better than to think it was only Jake who had rescued her. “Thank you, God, for providing a way when I couldn’t see one. I’m glad about this job. But—” she walked over to the couch and sank onto it “—I don’t know if I can believe in happily ever after again. Every time I think I’ve finally found a job, or a place to live, or something great, it seems the rug is jerked out from under me. Is this going to be any different?”
She got up and went into the kitchen. She could save the spaghetti and have enough to last until Saturday. Then maybe she could make her groceries last until her next paycheck.
And maybe, just maybe, she’d pass Jake’s approval and get to stay at this job longer than a month or two.
Chapter Four
“You didn’t tell me you lived right behind me!” Jake, who had just finished the inner-city work an hour earlier before swinging by to pick up Maggie, smiled, surprised. “Does it matter?”
Maggie frowned warily. “I can only imagine the talk there will be.”
“You’re my secretary, Maggie. My last secretary lived here. The entire church knows it. Don’t worry about it.”
Maggie still didn’t appear convinced. Jake wondered what drove her to be so cautious but didn’t ask. “As you can see,” he said, going on into the house, “here is the living room. The carpet is old but clean. The couch actually folds out into an extra bed if you have company.” Jake wondered if she minded an orange couch and chair. “Shirley had them reupholstered in those colors. You might, uh, try throwing a small blanket across the back.”
Jake heard a chuckle behind him and turned. “Yellow and orange are fine. And yes, I have a small blanket to cut the glare.”
Relieved, Jake smiled. “I never asked her what color she wanted to redo the material in. At least the curtains aren’t white.”
Jake pointed at the light-blue curtains until he saw Maggie’s wince.
“Let’s just see the rest of the house, shall we?”
Jake nodded. Glancing around the room, he suddenly realized that Shirley must have had very poor taste in decorating. Blue curtains, tan rug, orange and yellow furniture.
“The kitchen has a small table for four in it. The stove is gas and there’s a frost-free refrigerator.”
Maggie thought it was much nicer than the trailer she’d been in. The living room might be a bit bright, but this room, she thought, with the light white-and-blue floor with soft blue-and-pink wallpaper, was homey.
“One of the women repapered the walls before you moved in.”
“That explains the smell. I wondered what that smell was.” The counters were clean, and there was even a toaster and a food processor on the counter.
“To the back are the two bedrooms and the bathroom.”
Maggie strode there to look. The master bedroom was bigger than the trailer she’d been in, with a double bed and two chests and a small vanity. She turned to the bathroom. It was old but very neat. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a claw-foot tub before.”
“That’s next on our list of renovations. This house is more than fifty years old. We’ve been renovating one room at a time over the past year. The kitchen and the second bedroom are done.”
Maggie went to the second bedroom and smiled. “Earthtones, yellows and greens. It’s beautiful.”
Maggie heard Jake’s step approaching and turned, feeling trapped in the hall. Thankfully, Jake stopped near the entrance. “Of course we’ll be glad to remove the bed and put in a crib for you. Tyler would have gotten that done earlier—”
“Oh, no, Mr.—uh, Reverend, Pastor…” Helplessly, she lifted her hands. She could feel the blush warming her cheeks.
“Just ‘Jake.’”
His warm smile could melt chocolate on a winter day. It certainly melted her heart She found herself smiling back. “Well then, just Jake,” she said, “please don’t bother with that until I know what I’m going to do. Or if you’re certain you even want me here.
Jake’s smile left his face. The shimmer in his dark eyes dimmed. “Maggie, I don’t know why you’re so worried, but I think you should know, we’re a small church. If you can type and have any kind of head for business we can work the rest out. Unless you aren’t happy here, then there might be a problem. So please, stop worrying.”
Maggie nodded. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t say she’d had so many jobs in the past six months that she’d become cynical. Or that she was certain it was only a matter of time before her parents found out where she was. They would exert some sort of nasty little influence to get her out of the area so she wouldn’t be an embarrassment to them. Again.
Seeing Jake’s concerned expression, she pasted the smile back on her face. “This is more than I could hope for. Why don’t you show me where I am going to work.”
Jake nodded, relieved, though still concerned that she was hiding more than she was telling. Father, help her, he silently asked. “Right this way. As I said, the church has only between 100 and 150 in attendance, according to what is going on. Our average crowd is just over 100. Of course, we have the day care, which has 185 children, grades kindergarten through third. I never dreamed it would grow so fast.”
Jake led her across a small path lined with azaleas to the church. The smell emanating from the pink and purple blooms was sweet, teasing her nostrils and surrounding her in a soft gentle fragrance that relaxed her.
“I love azaleas,” Maggie murmured.
Jake smiled. “Mrs. Titterson wanted to donate them to the church. She thought they’d be beautiful lining the path here as well as both yards.” Jake motioned back at the houses. “They are beautiful in the spring. We have crepe myrtles in the front of the church and snowball bushes along the far side. You’ll notice the bridal bushes around the parking lot”