Ready-Made Family
Reece shrieked and clawed for his shirt, clearly heading into hysteria. “B-Bearby’ll get scared without Mr. Ben! Please! Please!” Her wails drowned out those of the emergency vehicles.
He peeled her fingers loose. Betrayal in her eyes landed a mortar shell in his chest. Ben looked to Harker for what to do.
Miss Harker smiled at Reece, then eyed him. “Tell you what, Ben. I know and trust you. Seems the little one has taken quite a liking to you. Mind riding with us? Maybe Bearby would feel safer that way.” Miss Harker brushed a gentle hand along Bearby’s misshapen head, careful not to touch Reece.
Visibly relaxed, Reece turned imploring eyes on Ben. “Please, Mr. Ben? Bearby really needs you.”
Something in the girl’s eyes and words sunk emotional hooks into him. By now, Ben figured out she projected onto the beloved toy. He recalled Reece mentioning Bearby doesn’t like to be ignored. Her forlorn tone of voice and the lonely haunt in her eyes had suggested she was all too familiar with what that felt like. Sympathy ambushed him.
But, Hutton…
“Let me see what I can do.” Phone out, Ben dialed his PJ team leader, Joel Montgomery, and asked him to meet Hutton at the airport. Refuge Drop Zone’s skydiving facility, which Joel owned, sat minutes from the airport. Ben would have to trust God to be with Hutton if Joel was late. Hutton didn’t cope well with change. Even altered minor plans became major stressors for him. Hopefully Hutton remembered and recognized Joel. If not, the situation could get sticky.
Satisfied Joel knew what Hutton looked like and would head to the airport ASAP, Ben ended the call and pocketed his phone.
Reece took his hand. “Thank you, Mr. Ben.”
“No problem, princess.” He retrieved her booster seat and art supplies, then walked with her around the dove-gray building to his red Chevy Malibu. He deposited his shopping bags in the trunk and locked it as Miss Harker pulled up. Reece scuttled closer to him and eyed Harker with deadly intent. Ben buckled in the booster, Reece, then Bearby, even though he felt silly. He picked up Reece’s coloring pages as Miss Harker drove them around to follow the ambulance. Chatter would smooth things over.
“You draw these?” He spread pages across the seat.
“All except one.” Reece pulled it from the bottom. A caricature drawing of Bearby holding Reece, both clad in the outfits they wore today.
Wow. “Where’d you have this done?” Outstanding artist.
“Mommy drew it. She draws all the time when she has paper. Isn’t she good?” Reece’s face lit.
“Real good. The best I’ve seen.” He pulled up another paper. This one’s tone seemed different than the rest, drawn in bright pastels. This drawing had a black face with a red frown and huge gray tears. “What’s this one about?”
“For when I felt sad about being a mistake and I didn’t have Bearby to love me.” She grew quiet and solemn.
“You’re not a mistake, princess. You’re a child of God and a treasure to Him.” Wanting to push back whatever dark cloud loomed, Ben slid the page under the seat and held up the caricature. “This really looks like cartoons of you and Bearby.”
“Speaking of cartoons, what’s your favorite?” Miss Harker asked from the driver’s seat, probably to distract her and build rapport. The channel of conversation switched to cartoons, and Ben settled back to listen. And pray. While they talked, questions popped through his mind like automatic weapon fire.
What kind of person would ignore this beautiful gift from God and make her think she was a mistake? Didn’t they know how many couples want children and can’t have them?
Ben thought of his team leader, Joel Montgomery, in the process of adopting another child because of his wife Amber’s infertility. And Ben’s parents, who’d tried for years to have another child after him before conceiving his brother. Though Hutton had MDS, Ben’s parents cherished him. Something Ben hadn’t done until recently.
He’d always been embarrassed about his brother being different before. Now, he was ultraprotective of him, and he wanted to bring Hutton to Refuge so his parents could realize their dream of a year of world travel.
How could he have treated his brother like a sore thumb growing up?
Who in Reece’s life would do something like that?
Ben stared through the ambulance windows, where IV fluids dripped through tubes he knew were attached to both of her emaciated arms. What kind of mom was Amelia North?
From the signs he’d noticed, a good one. Something had caused them to leave in a hurry. But what had led to her poor state of health today? Ben didn’t know. For the struggling single mother’s and little girl’s sakes, he aimed to find out.
He didn’t want any child to go through the hurt he’d put his brother through. Hurt he didn’t know if Hutton had ever fully recovered from. He still didn’t trust Ben fully, which was why Ben’s insides twisted that he couldn’t be at the airport for Hutton as he’d promised.
He prayed Joel would find Hutton before he wandered off somewhere in a state of confusion and panic. A personal code of duties wouldn’t let him leave Reece until he made sure she was okay. Her mother’s problems were life-threatening, sure, but hopefully only temporarily so.
Upon arriving at the hospital, Ben helped Reece out and handed her Bearby. “The police officer obtained your grandparents’ phone number and will notify them about your mom.”
Nothing could have prepared him for the horror striking Reece’s face. “Oh, no! You didn’t call them! They’ll hate Mommy and for sure think she’s bad now. If they take me, Mommy’ll hate you for callin’ the cops! Why did you? Grandpa and Grandma won’t help her. They’ll just yell and take me from her like they said!” Terror oozed from sodden eyes.
Why would they want to take Reece from her mother? Was she unfit? Or did the grandparents have issues not conducive to child rearing? What if they were cruel, and Ben telling Officer Stallings about them would cost Amelia custody?
Ben couldn’t have felt worse if a bullet whizzed through his ribs. Tumultuous questions blew through him like three hundred MPH winds—threatening to bow him sideways.
Questions that demanded answers.
For Reece’s sake, he would not rest or relent until he had them. He didn’t walk away from something like this. Didn’t turn his back on defenseless ones who cry out that something’s wrong and they can’t make it right. When someone couldn’t fight for themselves, Ben would do it for them. Had always been that way, took up for those who couldn’t take up for themselves.
Except his own brother.
But he had a second chance to make things right. Nothing could mess that up. He refused to let anything get in the way of taking over care of Hutton in his downtime. He’d figure out plans for what to do with Hutton during missions.
Wonderment stole over Ben as he studied Reece. So much like Hutton. Childlike. Dependent. Unconditionally loving. Reaching for normalcy. In need of security. Protection. Nurturing. His heart expanded then squeezed. This child had wiggled her way in it just that fast. When she’d burrowed beneath his arms and chosen to cling with trust that he had a feeling didn’t come easy, she’d embedded herself deep into his heart.
Compassion dropped Ben to his knees to place steadying hands on her moping shoulders. “Reece, listen, we had to call someone. I didn’t have a choice.”
Hurt and betrayal spun like violent hurricanes in the gulf of angry eyes. Like lightning reaching to earth, it jabbed across the space separating them, leaving regret smoldering in the carnage.
“Reece…”
Dark clouds of accusation hovered. Any trace of vulnerability fled her face. Except her bottom lip, which quivered like palm trees in a high wind as it fought to form words. “I thought you were mine and Bearby’s friend. If they come, they’ll take me away. If they take me from Mommy, Bearby and me will never, ever like you again…
“And neither will Mommy.”
Chapter Two
Amelia North awakened to the tallest Asian man she’d ever seen cradling her sleeping daughter. Fierce protectiveness roared to life and lifted Amelia’s shoulders from the bed despite the lancing pain.
But the scene in the nearby chair stilled her. Reece, a portrait of serenity, slept soundly. Her head rested on the stranger’s broad shoulder, a pillow of muscles on a pillar of strength. At least to her artist’s eye.
Childhood memories of naptime with her dad strolled through Amelia’s mind uninvited. Nostalgic father/daughter images stepped forward to hug her conscience. A hard lump formed in her throat. She stiffened her shoulders and swallowed, forcing it back down to that unfeeling place. Vaulted her heart shut against the emotional onslaught.
It hurt too much to feel. Hurt even worse to hope for restoration. She’d made too many mistakes, and forgiveness apparently didn’t exist in her father’s DNA.
Never mind that. What on earth was going on? Where was she? Amelia took in the room, feeling like she’d been dropped off in the twilight zone. The sterile environment, antiseptic smell and bland, generic room décor notified her that she’d obviously landed herself in a hospital or mental ward.
Then she remembered.
Parking lot. Wave upon wave of dizziness. Vision blurring. Hearing fading and returning, fading and returning. Quivering muscles. Failed motor function. Body sinking into the swirling deep, pulled by invisible undertows. Periphery closing in. Arms weak. Face numb. Hands fighting to steer to safety in a torrent of impending blindness. Reece’s screams. Then total, terrifying blackness. Horrendous crunching. Desperately uttered prayers for Reece’s protection and for God to send someone to help. Then nothing.
Then sketches of remembrance dawned of hazy words whispered in a cappella melodies to a song she’d never heard by a voice she didn’t recognize.
Giver of life, oh Living Water, King of All Kings, Merciful Father, Lord of all Lords, Faithful and Righteous, Breathe on her Your Sweet Breath of life.
Maybe this man could fill in the missing pieces.
Amelia cleared her throat, bringing his attention from a newspaper. The strangest sensation drifted through her that he’d known the precise instant she’d awakened but waited for her to engage conversation.
“Who are you?” She gritted her teeth against the urge to demand her daughter back and to know why he held her in the first place. The weirdest thing was Reece didn’t warm easily to anyone. Strangers terrified her.
The man cradled Reece’s head in a tender way that made Amelia’s heart dip with an old familiar ache. Without warning, it awoke a five-year-long yearning for Reece to have a father figure in her life.
Child in arms, he rose on powerful legs and approached. Sinewy with strength, arms the color of warm embers handled Reece as one might an exquisite china doll. As a priceless jewel set in precious metal, he placed her beside Amelia in the bed.
Precision and control defined him as he took delicate care to position Reece’s head in the bend of Amelia’s elbow. The back of his hand brushed her forearm as he slid his hand out from between them. Amelia’s skin tingled in the wake of his warmth.
She swallowed the want of human contact away. Not physical—she’d learned that lesson the hard way. It was emotional intimacy she craved.
Stop it. How dare you? You don’t deserve it. Furthermore. you don’t know him.
No doubt a brain injury had brought her here. Otherwise her mind and emotions wouldn’t be rivaling for the ridiculous and vying for the absurd.
Calm, cool gaze rising to meet hers, he leaned near enough so that she caught whiffs of masculine soap. Creaks sounded as powerful fists closed around her side rail. She thought the thing might crack under his pressure. Guy had to be a body builder or some sort of Olympian.
“My name’s Ben Dillinger. Your daughter found me in the parking lot of the mall where you apparently fainted from dehydration.” Mouth flattened to a straight line. Muscles rippled along his chiseled cheek. Questions sparked deep in his brown eyes. His imposing height, commanding presence, and quiet yet unwavering confidence made her want to cringe and cover her head with the gauzy hospital blanket.
This was not the sort of guy you’d want to contend with as an enemy. Conversely, he struck her as the kind of person who, if on your side, would fight to the death for you if need be.
How she’d wished for that kind of friend all her life. The closest person to it was her cousin Nissa who was both her best friend and her biggest thorn. When Nissa was there, she was a rock. But when she got on her flighty, impulsive streaks, forget it. She couldn’t be counted on. Of course, part of it Nissa couldn’t control due to her bipolarism. But still, when she went off her meds—look out.
Amelia cleared her throat and tried to insert bravado in her voice. “Well, thanks. You’re free to go now.”
But the man just stood there, looking at her as if he couldn’t quite figure out what planet she’d orbited in from.
Then he narrowed his eyes but not in a judgmental way. “Why aren’t you getting enough to eat?” He raked a hard gaze over shoulders and arms that she knew had grown too thin.
Self-consciousness jolted through her in waves. He couldn’t possibly understand the circumstances that had brought her to this point. Or how fear kept her from eating. Fear that Reece wouldn’t have enough. Fear she’d have to crawl on knees of humiliation and beg, only to be denied again. She resisted the urge to tuck loose sprigs of hair behind her ears. If it looked as mussed as it felt, no wonder he stared.
So what that she wasn’t as attractive as other women? Wasn’t like she could help being born with a lazy eye. It never bothered her unless she found herself in the presence of an extremely attractive man. Like right now.
Being a single mom took everything she had. As much as she longed to, she couldn’t afford the time or money required to keep up with modern haircuts and clothing styles like her single and childless friends. Or at least the friends she used to have. When Reece came along, her friends vanished one by one.
“I’m not starving myself. This isn’t your business, but I feed her plenty if that’s what you’re worried about,” she whispered.
His brows rose. “Not my business? When I see a life in jeopardy, especially a child, it becomes my business.” His voice lowered when Reece stirred.
And what a voice…like liquid velvet.
That he placed huge but gentle hands protectively over Reece’s ears stirred emotions she’d thought had disappeared. Neither Reece’s father nor her own cared who heard when they’d yelled at her. At least her father had never been physically violent like Reggie. Thankfully he was out of her and Reece’s lives for good.
The darkening storm twisting Mr. Dillinger’s face cautioned she might be about to get a serious verbal lashing. Something she’d grown accustomed to in life. Amelia tensed and steeled herself. After all, she deserved it.
She’d endangered her daughter’s life today.
Shame crushed her under its weight and threatened to push long-held-back tears from her eyes. She blinked desperately. What if he saw to it that her daughter was taken from her? Would he?
Could he? Amelia seemed to remember bits and pieces of a DCFS caseworker being here. Had she dreamt that? Was the woman coming back for Reece? Amelia couldn’t contain the violent trembling in her fingers.
His vision dropped to her hands before looking back up to her face. As if sensing her emotions, her fear, and noticing the acute tremors, his expression softened by detectable shades. His stance relaxed by fractions. Sharp guy. Didn’t miss a stitch.
He leaned back. “But it just so happens I’m not that worried about her. It’s you I’m concerned about. Your daughter told me you hardly eat. What food you have, you give to her. You nearly died today.”
The truth exploded in her head. One by one, the words chased each other through her mind. You nearly died today. Then where would Reece be? Who would care for her? What kind of life would she have? No one would love her as much as Amelia. No one. Therefore, no one would care for Reece better. She’d almost ruined her daughter’s life today by becoming absent from it.
Just as fast as the rebuke sliced through her, Amelia’s brain reverted back to the “It’s you I’m concerned about” part.
When was the last time anybody cared about her or showed concern? Something melted in her toward Ben, but Reggie’s vicious face surfaced in her mind like a mental taunt. She fought to refortify the boundaries around herself. Men were cruel and self-serving and not to be trusted. She’d do well to stay as far away from them as possible, physically and emotionally.
Yet Mr. Dillinger hadn’t yelled. The tense bunch in her shoulders relaxed a measure.
A new layer of softness entered his eyes as his gaze washed over her. He didn’t stare at her lazy eye like other men. Nor avoid her face out of pity. Nor did he seem to struggle with not knowing which eye to look in. He held his gaze like his stance, steady and strong and sure.
If she could attach a word to his expression, she knew what it would be. She also knew she didn’t deserve it in the least.
Mercy.
Even her parents, two people who should love her more than anything no matter what, had told her so. Constantly reminded her of how she’d messed up her life with one wrong choice one indiscreet night her senior year, when Reece was conceived.
She’d naively thought Reggie would marry her when she’d told him she was carrying his child. Instead of banding her finger, he’d bruised her body. Beat her up when she refused to “get rid of it.” He’d pummeled her stomach, nearly causing her to miscarry. Told her at the police station when she pressed charges that he wished she had lost it.
One year ago, he’d resurfaced, claiming he’d changed and convinced her he wanted to know his daughter. Come to find out, he only wanted to retaliate at Amelia for pressing charges for the assault during her pregnancy.
Subsequent astronomical hospital bills with no insurance thrust her into debt. Care and medication required to keep her pregnancy viable after the assault had cleared her bank accounts and eaten away her college fund. She’d spent the last five frugal years paying off her debts, starting with medical ones and ending with money owed her parents.
Saving her daughter’s life had been worth it.
Tense seconds ticked by as Amelia and Ben stared at one another, communicating yet not. Clearly, he waited for an explanation and wasn’t about to leave until he had one.
For once, Amelia was just too weak and tired to fight. And something in his eyes called to her. A flicker of caring?
What could she say but to be honest? She certainly didn’t want her daughter to be taken away. They might as well bury her if that happened. Reece was her life.
Which was why she left her parents and their constant de-meaning of her mothering. Worse, doing it in front of the daughter she tried her best to care for. But with her father, her best was never good enough. And her mom never stood up for her.
Amelia thought for sure God felt the same apathy and disdain toward her. Otherwise, He wouldn’t churn the category-five winds and rip her sails every time she managed to surface from the last ocean of adversity life whipped her into.
Her entire existence had been one long, roiling storm of struggle, and Amelia could no longer envision a clear blue sky anywhere on the horizon. If she could just get out of this hospital and get to the new job that waited for her, she and Reece could get a fresh start.
Speaking of hospitals, how would she pay the bill? Tears threatened to overwhelm her. She couldn’t catch up no matter how hard she tried.
Growing increasingly uncomfortable beneath the pressure of the stranger’s scrutinizing gaze, she drew a much-needed breath and dropped her gaze to the blanket. Making sure Reece still slept, Amelia worked up courage to admit the truth.
Her fingers fiddled with fiber at the edge of the hem. “It’s not because I don’t want to eat. Times are hard.” She cleared her throat to remove the clog in her voice.
“There are food banks.”
It wasn’t just his tone that told her he wasn’t buying her story. The stubborn set to his jaw and determined glint in his eyes did.
Why would a complete stranger care when her own family and supposed friends didn’t?
She glanced at his pressed khaki shorts and brown leather loafers. A black polo shirt was stretched tight across a well-developed chest. Obviously he appreciated nice things. His immaculate appearance made her all the more self-conscious. She tugged the hospital gown tighter. It could have wrapped around her twice. He seemed aware of every move she made.
Why did she care what he thought of her? What right did he have to stand here and stare? And interrogate her?
He saved your life.
Well, yeah, there was that. Maybe he was some kind of cop or something. Someone who had a right to know Reece was secure. Who was he? What did he do for a living? Something physical for sure. Military, maybe. Yeah, that had to be it. Or maybe his militant determination just made it seem so.
Another horrendous thought blew through her mind. “I remember a crash…”
“You were driving when you passed out. Your car crashed into a pole.”
Crashed.
The room swam. She didn’t want to know, couldn’t face the question pounding her brain or dodge the dollar marks blowing into her mind like a thousand wayward leaves. She swallowed. She could barely afford to keep oil, gas and wind-shield wiper fluid in the car, much less pay for repairs. Or worse, another car.
A sigh escaped, challenging the grit she’d garnered within to make it no matter what, and do it without complaining. She’d always faced whatever life brought her head-on without whining, breaking or backing down. For the first time in her life, the pressure threatened to do her in.
“What am I gonna do?” Had she said that aloud? For sure, she was on the verge of losing it. Folding under pressure. Just like her parents predicted she would.
“Let me help, Amelia.”
Ben’s soothing voice pulled her from the mental mire. She studied him. What she interpreted as deep concern emanated from his eyes.
Even if the remote possibility existed that he honestly cared…“You must have an ulterior motive.”
“I care. Period.”
If that were the case and she caved and accepted, that meant losing. And she wasn’t about to let the naysayers win. It wasn’t that she cared about losing as much as she feared losing Reece if her parents’ predictions came true.
“I can’t. Period.”
Chapter Three
Ben held his tongue when Reece stirred. She rubbed her eyes and sat up, yawning. The transformation in Amelia mystified him.
Her face lit with an incalculable amount of love when she scooped up the girl as if she were a long-sought-after, newly found treasure. “Hey, Reece’s Pieces. Have a good nap?”
Reece hugged her mom back, then scuttled beside her to eye the tubing in Amelia’s arm. “Is that the medicine that fixed your electric lights, Mommy?”
Amelia blinked and eyed the IV, then Reece. Confusion crossed her features.
Fighting frustration at Amelia’s reticence to his help, Ben picked Bearby off the floor where he’d fallen when Reece sat up. He set the toy in her lap. “Yes, that medicine is fixing your mom. Only they’re called electrolytes. Something that when you get too dry, can cause your heart to go haywire.”
Amelia’s throat muscles constricted, letting him know he got his point across. Fear and remorse in her eyes told him she realized how life-threatening her lack of intake had become.
Silent, Reece watched the nonverbal exchange between her mother and Ben before wringing Bearby like a wet dishrag. No wonder the thing looked so tattered and misshapen. Kid never let it out of her sight. She clearly used it for comfort and apparently needed its remedy a lot.