Lovers' Lies

CHAPTER TWO

FELICIA showered in lukewarm water to cool herself, then dressed in fresh undies and a loose, short-skirted dress. Her excuse of being in more need of sleep than food hadn’t been entirely specious, but by the time she’d unpacked a few things that she hadn’t had time earlier to take from her suitcase, and studied the material provided about the hotel services and the city of Beijing, she was surprised to find herself feeling both wide awake and hungry.

She could order from room service.

Menu in hand, she glanced out the window at the tree-lined street, still full of bicycles and people. An old couple wearing woven peasant hats and comfortable pyjama-like garments exchanged greetings with a group of young women in colourful cotton dresses. Rickshaw cyclists cruised by, their vehicles sporting fringed canopies and cushioned interiors.

She was in an exciting, mysterious, ancient country—and here she was contemplating spending the evening sitting in her hotel room because she was reluctant to face a man who had disappeared from her life when she was no more than a child.

Ridiculous, she said to herself. She’d have a quick meal downstairs and venture forth for a little exploration on her own.

It wasn’t until she was approaching the restaurant that she looked at her watch and saw with surprise that the time was just after seven-thirty.

‘Miss Stevens?’ A smiling waiter greeted her at the door, his dark eyes gleaming.

‘Yes,’ she said hesitantly. Service at the hotel was excellent, but surely the staff couldn’t memorise all the guests’ names?

‘This way.’ He beamed at her and led her round the tall circular buffet topped with its own poroelain-tiled roof, and ushered her to a table for two. Joshua rose from his seat as the waiter pulled out a chair for her.

‘Glad you changed your mind,’ Joshua said.

Felicia had stopped dead. The waiter looked at her expectantly. She cast a glance around, saw the dining room appeared to be full, and reluctantly sank into the seat.

‘I will bring a wine list now,’ the waiter promised in faultless English, and bustled gracefully away as Joshua resumed his seat.

‘I thought I’d better grab a table,’ Joshua explained.

Felicia sat stiffly. ‘You told the waiter you were expecting me?’

‘I tipped him well to watch out for you.’

‘I thought tipping wasn’t acceptable here.’

‘In hotels that deal with western tourists it’s probably not uncommon.’

‘I appreciate your keeping a seat for me,’ she said, ‘but... if you don’t mind I’ll ask for a separate check.’

Joshua regarded her thoughtfully. ‘And if I do mind?’ he enquired. ‘After all, I did invite you to eat with me.’

‘I prefer to pay my own way.’

He shrugged. ‘If you insist. Is it necessary to tell you that I don’t think buying you a meal will entitle me to any privileges?’

‘It isn’t necessary at all,’ Felicia assured him coolly, ‘since you’re not buying it.’

‘Hmm.’ He leaned back in his chair, his eyes speculative as they rested on her. The waiter brought the wine list and Joshua took it and murmured thanks without shifting his gaze from Felicia. ‘I hope you’ll share a bottle of wine with me, all the same,’ he said. ‘My treat. Or do you only drink mineral water?’

She was surprised he’d noticed what she was drinking earlier. She’d thought Suzette had been claiming most of his attention. ‘I drink wine,’ she said, ‘sometimes.’ This afternoon she’d felt slightly dehydrated and cool water was the most sensible thing to drink. But a glass of wine with her meal was a decidedly pleasant prospect. The fact that Joshua’s very presence across the table was causing her skin to prickle with antagonism was beside the point.

‘What would you like? White or red?’

‘White—if that’s OK with you.’

He flashed her a smile. ‘Fine. Medium or dry?’

‘Usually I prefer dry, but I’d like to sample something local.’

‘Good. We have something in common after all. Now, let’s see...’

He drew her into the choosing process, making it a discussion, and they settled on a bottle of Huadong Chardonnay. When the waiter offered a menu both opted for the buffet. ‘Miss Stevens would like a separate check,’ Joshua added without a blink.

The buffet was laden with such a variety that Felicia found herself eating more than she had meant to, supplementing delicious Chinese dishes with a small bowl of fluffy white rice and a crisp salad.

And of course it was impossible not to talk. Joshua asked where she lived, what she did. ‘Auckland,’ she said. ‘I’m a partner in a boutique-style shop specialising in bedroom and bathroom furnishings and accessories.’

She kept her voice crisp and emotionless, with no hint of defensiveness. Some men made suggestive remarks when she told them what her business was about, but Joshua just nodded interestedly and asked questions about her target market, type of stock, and supplier base.

‘I’ve been to a trade fair here,’ he said, ‘hoping to open doors for the agricultural machinery my company makes. We’ve been using a middleman in Hong Kong, but I wanted to see something of the country for myself and follow up a few contacts.’

‘Your company? You own it?’ She tried to keep the surprise from her voice, make it a casual query.

“That’s right.

She schooled her face to indifference and bit her tongue on the questions hovering at its tip—how, since when, where had a young handyman with a lawn-mowing round acquired an international business? She said, “There are special tours for business groups.

‘None of them were quite what I wanted, and this one seems a good introduction to the country. Being an independent traveller can be pretty frustrating when you don’t know the language and have limited time.’

They talked for a while of what they’d seen that day, and swapped random knowledge of Chinese history and culture.

‘I’ve read a couple of books,’ Joshua said, ‘but the more I learn, the more I know there is to learn.’

Felicia smiled, surprising herself. The food and wine must have had a mellowing effect. ‘It’s a huge country, with a long, long history. I started reading about it months ago, but it would take a lifetime to learn it all.’

A flare of warmth and masculine interest in his eyes as he returned the smile told her that he wasn’t unaware of her as a female. From Joshua Tagget she found that faintly shocking, and had to remind herself that not only was she a grown woman now, he had no idea who she was, no memory of the teenage girl he had once known. But it was startling to find her cheeks heating slightly under the veiled curiosity in his gaze, and a disturbing sexual reaction to him tingling along her veins.

They skipped dessert, and Felicia declined coffee, instead asking for her bill.

‘And mine,’ Joshua said. As the waiter went to get them he turned to Felicia. ‘Do you have plans for the rest of the evening?’

‘I... was thinking of walking a bit before I turn in.’

‘I wouldn’t mind walking off that meal. A lone woman shouldn’t wander round on her own at night,’ Joshua said.

‘I believe China is pretty safe, actually.’

‘Maybe, but you’d be even safer with me.’

Something must have quivered in her expression. He queried, ‘You don’t believe that?’

‘You think I should take your word for it?’

He turned up his palms in a gesture of defeat. ‘You want references?’

‘Do you have any on you?’

Joshua grinned. ‘As a matter of fact I have a couple of quite impressive letters of introduction—they came in useful at the trade fair—but I’ve left them in my room.’

The waiter brought the bills and laid them on the table. Felicia signed her name and room number and picked up her bag.

As she stood up, Joshua followed. ‘So,’ he said, ‘do I have to go and fetch my references?’

‘Of course not.’

Felicia was pretty sure that if she went off by herself he would follow her anyway. Discreetly, perhaps at a distance, but—ironically—he was the sort of man who couldn’t knowingly let a woman walk alone down dark streets in a strange city.

The air was warm and heavy. The shops and street stalls had closed up but there were still people sitting on low stools outside their homes, playing cards or chess. Passing under an overhanging tree that cast a deep shadow on the pavement, Felicia stumbled a little on an uneven flagstone and Joshua took her arm to steady her.

‘OK?’ he said.

‘Yes.’ She pulled away slightly and he released his hold. Felicia hoped he hadn’t discerned the small shiver that his brief grip on her arm had evoked.

A black-clad elderly woman approached accompanied by a boy of about twelve years old, already taller than she was. ‘Hello,’ the young boy said. ‘How are you?’ The old woman smiled proudly as Felicia and Joshua returned the greeting. Cooking smells wafted onto the street from a rattling air-conditioning unit set in a nearby wall. The city had a hot, heavy, alien aroma. The weight of centuries and the burden of a teeming population seemed to scent the very air.

They skirted a high corrugated iron fence with silent cranes inside it towering against the fading sky. The pavement was strewn with heaps of dirt and broken bits of wood and plaster.

‘Rebuilding,’ Joshua said, pausing briefly to peer through a peephole in the fence. ‘Whatever it is, it’s going to be big.’ He straightened and came back to her side.

‘I wonder how the others are enjoying their dinner,’ she said, making a random effort at conversation to divert her own attention from her stupid sensitivity to his nearness.

‘Sorry you didn’t join them?’ he asked.

‘No, of course not.’ Her denial was probably too quick, too emphatic. ‘The hotel food is very good—don’t you agree?’

‘Very,’ he assented gravely. Obviously he didn’t think much of her conversational powers. He wasn’t alone in that. Apart from anything else, now that she was sure he had no notion who she was it seemed simplest to keep things that way. She had no desire to discuss the past with Joshua Tagget, and ruin her holiday.

They reached the corner and Joshua said, ‘Round the block?’

‘Yes, OK.’

They walked in silence for a while. Felicia wondered if Joshua was wishing he’d joined the others. Suzette would miss him. ‘I’m not very good company,’ she said, despising herself for making excuses to him. But the silence had become too fraught for her, loaded with old memories and the new, unsettling reactions she was experiencing, too strong to ignore but too contradictory and perilous to make sense of.

‘Why do you say that?’

‘I’m too...tired to make conversation.’

‘If I’d wanted conversation I’d have gone to dinner with the crowd. I’ve had a very pleasant evening.’

They came to another corner and Felicia blindly changed direction, heading—she hoped—towards the hotel. Simple courtesy demanded that she say she had also enjoyed the evening. But for her it had been too emotionally charged.

She quickened her pace, and suddenly the road disappeared into an unlit alleyway. She stopped abruptly, and felt Joshua’s presence at her back, not quite touching her. ‘We’ve taken a wrong turning,’ she said.

‘Maybe.’

‘We’ll have to go back to the main road.’

As she made to retrace their steps, he stopped her with a hand on her arm. ‘But there’s light through there, and another road, see?’

She peered into the dimness, and saw at the end of the alley people passing back and forth, and a road with traffic, bicycles.

‘Never go back,’ Joshua suggested, ‘unless there’s no other way out.’

Felicia shrugged. There was something to be said, she grudgingly supposed, for having a male companion. Sensible women automatically avoided lonely, dark streets. She let him lead her forward.

One side of the alley was lined with dozens of bicycles standing silent and gleaming side by side in the gloom. On the other side were closed back doors.

Then quite quickly the alleyway emerged into a broad street, and she recognised that they were close to the hotel.

When they reentered the lobby a few minutes later it seemed very bright and spacious.

‘A nightcap?’ Joshua suggested. ‘The bar’s still open.’

‘Not for me,’ Felicia decided. ‘Thank you for your company.’ She had to get away from him to sort out the confusion of her feelings.

Joshua ignored the hand she held out. ‘I don’t want to drink alone. I’ll be going up to bed too. Tomorrow it’s the Great Wall, isn’t it? Stamina may be required.’

There weren’t many people about and they had the elevator to themselves. When the doors slid open at Felicia’s floor, Joshua surprised her by taking her shoulders and turning her gently but firmly to face him.

She hardly had time to register the taut, questioning look on his face, the deep light in his tigerish eyes, before he bent his head and pressed a warm, insistent, exploratory kiss against her mouth.

Taken unawares, she felt her lips quiver and part under his before she could stop herself.

Then she was free, and he had raised a hand to hold the door for her. She stepped back, staring at him, and heard him say, ‘Good night, Felicia,’ before the doors closed and she was left blinking at the bright red arrow above her.

‘... the only man-made structure visible from outer space.’

Felicia stood on the Great Wall, only half listening to the rapid-fire statistics Jen was giving the group huddled around her. ‘Two thousand, one hundred and fifty miles long... three hundred thousand workers...’

Hundreds of tourists of various nationalities milled about, climbing the worn steps and squinting at the farther reaches of the wall where a shifting tide of people thinned as it receded into the distance.

A hand on the hard stone parapet, Felicia gazed at the desolate, rock-strewn countryside. She’d read the figure, but none of them had prepared her for the feeling of actually being here—for the sense of the toiling of time, of generations that had lived and died and loved and been forgotten since the building of the wall had begun.

‘And this is only a remnant,’ Joshua’s voice said beside her. ‘Pretty impressive, isn’t it?’

‘Awesome,’ Felicia agreed. She had to force herself to look at him, the sound of his voice bringing back a vivid memory of that brief, unexpected kiss last night.

Not quite meeting his eyes, she gave him a quick smile and moved to merge into the group following Jen along the top of the wall.

She had the feeling that he remained staring after her for a few seconds before he joined them, but by that time she was walking with Maggie, successfully ignoring him.

Suzette unwittingly assisted her to do so for the rest of the day, attaching herself to Joshua’s side and making sure that whatever attention he could spare from sightseeing was directed to her. Felicia ought to have been grateful. Instead she found herself harbouring uncharitable thoughts about both of them—Suzette for her blatant man-chasing, and Joshua because of his air of amused tolerance. Patronising, she labelled it caustically.

It occurred to her that she was being a dog in the manger, and the thought only made her more irritated. Her muddled feelings were a hangover, she had decided last night, gazing into the sleepless darkness of her room, residual emotion from her early adolescence, when she’d thought Joshua was the handsomest, most romantic man on earth.

Face it, she told herself brutally as she changed for dinner back at the hotel after their return from the Great Wall. He was your first crush, your puppy-love, and despite everything that happened, somewhere deep down traces of those feelings are still buried in your subconscious.

That was why she had found his casual kiss last night so disturbing. At thirteen she’d at least had enough sense to know that a grown man like Joshua Tagget wasn’t going to be interested in a barely pubescent girl. She had been happy to abet his love affair with Genevieve—a form of transference, she now supposed.

Had he ever divined her own feelings—that excruciating blend of half-understood, heavily romanticised sexual awakening and blind hero-worship? God, she hoped not! She grew hot at the thought, suddenly reverting to uncomfortable adolescent self-consciousness.

Tonight everyone was dining in the hotel because they were scheduled to attend a performance of acrobatics afterwards in the city. Safety in numbers, Felicia promised herself. She needn’t share a table with Joshua again.

Dead wrong, as it turned out. When she entered the dining room it was to find nearly all her tour companions gathered around two large tables, and Maggie saving her a seat. Which left two at Felicia’s other side empty. Those were the only chairs available when Joshua and Suzette entered together a little later, and Felicia watched with a sense of inevitability as he seated his companion and then took the chair next to hers.

‘Hi,’ he said in her ear.

Felicia half turned her head. ‘Hi,’ she acknowledged, and returned to studying the menu in front of her.

‘Why don’t we order a selection of dishes for the table?’ someone suggested. ‘We can all share, and have a taste of everything.’

After a minimum of discussion the plan was approved, and the menus removed.

The meal became a friendly free-for-all of passing, tasting, dipping and enthusiastic recommendations. Chopsticks were wielded with varying degrees of expertise and success, and as Felicia dexterously transferred a few pork balls from the serving dish to her plate Joshua commented, ‘You’re pretty damn good at that.’ It had taken him several attempts to get a firm grip on one of the sauce-covered morsels.

‘I often eat in Chinese restaurants.’ She turned to Maggie. ‘Would you like some of these?’

‘If you’ll kindly get them for me,’ Maggie replied, waving her own chopsticks. ‘I still haven’t got the hang of these danged things.’

One of the children in the party, sitting on the other side of Maggie, piped up, ‘You’re holding them wrong. See, try like this!’

It was all very relaxed and sometimes hilarious. ‘Group bonding,’ Joshua murmured once, slanting a glance towards Felicia. ‘How about it?’

‘What?’ She had to look at him, finding his eyes darker than usual, questioning her. Curious, perhaps.

‘There was more than one wall out there today,’ he said quietly, his voice covered by a burst of laughter from across the table as someone accidentally dropped a prawn into their drink. ‘And this one’s still intact.’

‘I’m not sure what you mean.’ Felicia looked down at her plate, toying with a grey, semi-transparent slice of sea cucumber and wondering if she really needed to eat it.

‘We’re all going to be together for a while, and a friendly atmosphere can help things along considerably. I thought last night...’

‘What did you think?’ she asked, more sharply than she meant to.

He was looking at her with a baffled expression. ‘Was it the kiss?’ he asked bluntly. ‘Should I apologise?’

It had hardly been anything to make a fuss about, except for its unexpected effect on her. ‘That’s not necessary,’ she said hastily. ‘As kisses go, it scarcely rated, after all.’

A tight grin came and went on his mouth. ‘Is that meant to be an insult?’

‘I don’t go around insulting perfect strangers.’

His brows twitched. ‘Yow! A double whammy.’ He glanced round the table. ‘Look, it was an impulse, a nice way to end the evening, I thought. And...’

‘And?’ She looked up at him in challenge.

‘And... I wanted to know whether you’d reciprocate. It seemed to me I had reason to hope for it. If I offended you, I’m sorry.’

‘I’d forgotten all about it,’ she assured him with spurious earnestness. ‘It was totally unmemorable.’ And she turned away to speak to Maggie.

She could feel him seething beside her, even as his deep voice answered something that Suzette said. Well, OK, she thought defiantly. He’d asked for it, and he’d got it—in spades. That should ensure that he stayed away from her for the rest of the trip. Only she wished she didn’t feel so sick, as if she’d just done something peculiarly horrible.

Within days the tour group had developed a camaraderie that boded well for the rest of their time together. They’d visited temples and gardens, and most of them had ventured to the Chinese department stores and the street markets.

Joshua seemed popular, although when the group was taken to the Friendship Store where foreigners were encouraged to buy souvenirs, he had instead gone off somewhere on his own. Even Suzette didn’t know where.

They were flown to Xian to visit the famous terracotta army and other archaeological sites, and travelled by rail and road to Qingdao on the Yellow Sea, through vast areas of cultivations and scattered pink-walled villages. Water buffalo plodded patiently along dusty raised roads by narrow canals, and in some places it seemed that the countryside had been unchanged for centuries.

Qingdao dispelled that feeling. A sleepy fishing village until only a hundred years ago, it was now a sprawling, traffic-ridden, skyscraping metropolis that Jen called ‘... a small city... only seven million people.’

Coming from a country that boasted a population of three and a half million or so overall, Felicia was unable to suppress a choked little laugh. Turning away to try and hide it, she caught Joshua’s eyes, and an answering grin.

The first morning the group divided into those who wished to visit the Hi-Tech and Industrial Park and those who preferred a tour of specialty shops.

Relieved to find that Joshua had gone with the industrial tour, Felicia spent a relaxed morning with the bulk of the women browsing among a tempting array of embroidered silks, carved jade and cloisonné. It was difficult to limit her buying to a few irresistible pieces.

In the afternoon Maggie and several of the others declared they intended to spend the free time napping. Felicia welcomed the opportunity to take a walk on her own.

Strolling along the seaside promenade, where hundreds of Chinese holidaymakers and Japanese tourists enjoyed the broad beach a few feet below, she stopped to lean on the safety barrier, watching the swimmers and ball-players, and lifting a hand to her eyes to squint along the pier at the double-pagoda of the Rebounding Waves Pavilion.

Someone came to lean alongside her, and she felt the tightening of her skin that invariably told her when Joshua was near.

‘Isn’t this a bit silly?’ he said mildly.

‘What?’ She lowered her hand but didn’t take her eyes from the pavilion with the waves breaking gently around the rock on which it stood.

‘Not speaking,’ he said bluntly.

‘I am speaking to you.’

‘You avoid me at every opportunity.’

‘Actually there aren’t that many opportunities—’

The word fortunately hung in the air between them.

His hand on the rail beside her tightened. Then unexpectedly he laughed. Really laughed, with his head thrown back in genuine enjoyment. Watching him, she felt something clutch at her heart, and bit her lip, not wanting to recognise what had caused it.