Yeah, that was dang difficult, apparently. The decision to stop actively looking for Mr. Right and start going to museums and plays as a party of one hadn’t been all that hard. As a bonus, she never had to compromise on date night by seeing a science fiction movie where special effects drowned out the dialogue. She could do whatever she wanted with her Saturday nights.
It was great. Or at least that was what she told herself. Loudly. It drowned out the voice in her heart that kept insisting she would never get the family she desperately wanted if she didn’t date.
In lieu of a Happy Professional Single Girl cake, Grace settled for a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup from the vending machine and got back to work. The children’s cases the county had entrusted to her were not going to handle themselves, and there were some heartbreakers in her caseload. She loved her job and thanked God every day she got to make a difference in the lives of the children she helped.
If she couldn’t have children of her own, she’d make do with loving other people’s.
Her desk phone rang and she picked up the receiver, accidentally knocking over the framed picture of her mom and dad celebrating their thirtieth wedding anniversary at a luau in Hawaii. One day she’d go there, she vowed as she righted the frame. Even if she had to travel to Hawaii solo, it was still Hawaii.
“Grace Haines. How can I help you today?”
“It’s Liam,” the voice on the other end announced, and the gravity in his tone tripped her radar.
“Are the girls all right?” Panicked, Grace threw a couple of manila folders into her tote in preparation to fly to her car. She could be at Wade Ranch in less than twenty minutes if she ignored the speed limit and prayed to Jesus that Sheriff Battle wasn’t sitting in his squad car at the Royal city limits the way he usually did. “What’s happened to the babies? It’s Maddie, isn’t it? I knew that she wasn’t—”
“The girls are fine,” he interrupted. “They’re with Hadley. It’s Kyle. He came home.”
Grace froze, mid-file transfer. The manila folder fell to the floor in slow motion from her nerveless fingers, opened at the spine and spilled papers across the linoleum.
“What?” she whispered.
Kyle.
Her first kiss. Her first love. Her first taste of the agonizing pain a man could cause.
He wasn’t supposed to be here. The twin daughters Kyle Wade had fathered were parentless, or so she’d convinced herself. That was the only reason she’d taken the case, once Liam assured her he’d called the USO, the California base Kyle had shipped out of and the President of the United States. No response, he’d said.
No response meant no conflict of interest.
If Kyle was back, her interest was so conflicted, she couldn’t even see through it.
“He’s here. At Wade Ranch,” Liam confirmed. “You need to come by as soon as possible and help us sort this out.”
Translation: Liam and Hadley wanted to adopt Maddie and Maggie and with Kyle in the picture, that wasn’t as easy as they’d all assumed. Grace would have to convince him to waive his parental rights. If he didn’t want to, then she’d have to assess Kyle’s fitness as a parent and potentially even give him custody, despite knowing in her heart that he’d be a horrible father. It was a huge tangle.
The best scenario would be to transfer the case to someone else. But on short notice? Probably wasn’t going to happen.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks, Liam. It’ll work out.”
Grace hung up and dropped her head down into the crook of her elbow.
Somehow, she was supposed to go to Wade Ranch and do her job, while ignoring the fact that Kyle Wade had broken her heart into tiny little pieces, and then promptly joined the military, as if she hadn’t mattered at all. And somehow, she had to ignore the fact that she still wasn’t over it. Or him.
Two
Grace knocked on the door of Wade House and steeled herself for whatever was about to happen. Which was what she’d been doing in the car on the way over. And at her desk before that.
No one else in the county office could take on another case, so Grace had agreed to keep Maddie and Maggie under the premise that she’d run all her recommendations through her supervisor before she told the parties involved about her decisions. Which meant she couldn’t just decide ahead of time that Kyle wasn’t fit. She had to prove it.
It would be a stringent process, with no room for error. She’d have to justify her report with far more data and impartial observations than she’d ever had to before. It meant twice as many visits and twice as much documentation. Of course. Because who didn’t want to spend a bunch of time with a high-school boyfriend who’d ruined you for dating any other man?
Hopefully, he’d just give up his rights without a fight and they could all go on.
The door swung open and Grace forgot to breathe. Kyle Wade was indeed home.
Hungrily, her gaze skittered over his grown-up face. Oh, my. Still gorgeous, but sun worn, with new lines around his eyes that said he’d seen some things in the past ten years and they weren’t all pleasant. His hair was shorn shorter than short, but it fit this new version of Kyle.
His green eyes were diamond hard. That was new, too. He’d never been open and friendly, but she’d burrowed under that reserve back in high school and when he really looked at her with his signature blend of love and devotion—it had been magic.
She instantly wanted to burrow under that hardness once again. Because she knew she was the only one who could, the only one he’d let in. The only one who could soothe his loneliness, the way she’d done back then.
Gah, what was she thinking?
She couldn’t focus on that. Couldn’t remember what it had been like when it was good, because when it was bad, it was really bad. This man had destroyed her, nearly derailing her entire first year at college as she picked up the broken pieces he’d left behind.
“Hey, Grace.”
Kyle’s voice washed over her and the steeling she’d done to prepare for this moment? Useless.
“Kyle,” she returned a bit brusquely, but if she started blubbering, she’d never forgive herself. “I’m happy to see that you’ve finally decided to acknowledge your children.”
Chances were good that wouldn’t last. He’d ship out again at a moment’s notice, running off to indulge his selfish thirst for adventure, leaving behind a mess. As he’d done the first time. But Grace was here to make sure he didn’t hurt anyone in the process, least of all those precious babies.
“Yep,” he agreed easily. “I took a slow boat from China all right. But I’m here now. Do whatever you have to do to make it okay with the county for me to be a father to my daughters.”
Ha. Fathers were loving, caring, selfless. They didn’t become distant and uncommunicative on a regular basis and then forget they had plans with you. And then forget to apologize for leaving you high and dry. Nor did they have the option to quit when the going got tough.
“Well, that’s not going to happen today,” she said firmly. “I’ll do several site visits to make sure that you’re providing the right environment for the girls. They need to feel safe and loved and it’s my job to put them into the home that will give them that. You might not be the best answer.”
The hardness in his expression intensified. “They’re mine. I’ll take care of them.”
His quiet fierceness set her back. Guess that answered the question about whether he’d put up a token fight and then sign whatever she put in front of him that would terminate his parental rights. The fact that he wasn’t—it was throwing her for a loop. “Actually, they’re mine. They became wards of the state when you didn’t respond to the attempts we all made to find you. That’s what happens to abandoned babies.”
That might have come out harshly. So what. It was the truth, even if the sentiment had some leftover emotion from when Kyle had done that to her. She had to protect the babies, no matter what.
“There were...circumstances. I didn’t get any of Liam’s messages or I would have come as soon as I could.” His mouth firmed into an inflexible line. “That’s not important now. Come in and visit. Tell me what I have to do.”
“Fine.”
She followed him into the formal parlor that had been restored to what she imagined was Wade House’s former glory. The Victorian furniture was beautiful and luxurious, and a man like Kyle looked ridiculous sitting on the elegantly appointed chair. Good grief, the spindly legs didn’t seem strong enough to support such a solid body. Kyle had gained weight, and the way he moved indicated it was 100 percent finely honed muscle under his clothes. He’d adopted a lazy, slow walk that seemed at odds with all that, but certainly fit a laid-back cowboy at home on his ranch.
Not that she’d noticed or anything.
She took her own seat and perched on the edge, too keyed up to relax. “We’ll need to fill out some paperwork. What do you plan to do for employment now that you’re home?”
Kyle quirked an eyebrow. “Being a Wade isn’t enough?”
Frowning, she held her manila folder in front of her like a shield, though what she thought it was going to protect her from, she had no idea. Kyle’s diamond-bit green eyes drilled through her very flesh and bone, deep into the soft places she’d thought were well protected against men. Especially this one.
“No, it’s not enough. Inheriting money isn’t an indicator of your worth as a parent. I need to see a demonstration of commitment. A permanency that will show you can provide a stable environment for Maddie and Maggie.”
“So being able to buy them whatever they want and being able to put food on the table no matter what isn’t good enough.”
It was not a question but a challenge. She tried not to roll her eyes, she really did. But if you looked up “clueless” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of Kyle Wade. “That’s right. Liam and Hadley can do those things and have been for over two months. Are you prepared for all the special treatments and doctor’s visits Maddie will require? I have to know.”
Kyle went stiff all at once, freezing so quickly that she got a little concerned. She should really stop caring so much but it was impossible to shut off her desire to help people. This whole conversation was difficult. She and Kyle used to be comfortable with each other. She missed that easiness between them, but there was no room for anything other than a professional and necessary distance.
“Doctor’s visits?” Kyle repeated softly. “Is there something wrong with Maddie?”
“Maddie suffers from twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome. She has some heart problems that are pretty serious.”
“I...didn’t know.”
The bleakness in his expression reached out and twisted her heart. She wanted to lash out at him. Blame him. Those girls had been fighting for their lives after Margaret died, and where was Kyle? “Just out of curiosity, why did you come home now? Why not two months ago when Margaret first came looking for you? Or for that matter, why not when she first found out she was pregnant?”
She cut off the tirade there. Oh, there was plenty more she wanted to say, but it would veer into personal barbs that wouldn’t help anything. She had a job to do and the information-gathering stage should—and would—stay on a professional level.
Besides, she knew he’d been stationed overseas. He probably hadn’t had the luxury of jetting off whenever he felt like it. But he could have at least called.
Crossing his arms, he leaned back against the gold velvet cushions of the too-small chair, biceps bulging. He’d grown some interesting additions to what had already been a nicely built body. Automatically, her gaze wandered south, taking in all the parts that made up that great physique. Wow, had it gotten hot in here, or what? She fanned her face with the manila folder.
But then he eyed her, his face a careful mask that dared her to break through it. Which totally unnerved her. This darker, harder, fiercer Kyle Wade was dangerous. Because she wanted to understand why he was dark, hard and fierce. Why he’d broken her heart and then left.
“You got me all figured out, seems like,” he drawled. “Why don’t you tell me why I didn’t hop on a plane and stick by Margaret’s side during her pregnancy?”
Couldn’t the man just answer a simple question? He’d always been like this—uncommunicative and prone to leaving instead of dealing with problems head-on. His attitude was so infuriating, she said the first thing that popped into her head.
“Guilt, probably. You didn’t want to be involved and hoped the problem would go away on its own.” And that was totally unfair. Wasn’t it? She had no idea why he hadn’t contacted anyone. This new version of Kyle was unsettling because she didn’t know him that well anymore.
Really, she wasn’t that good at reading people in the first place. It was a professional weakness that she hated, but couldn’t seem to fix. Once upon a time, she’d thought this man was her forever after, her Prince Charming, Clark Gable and Dr. McDreamy all rolled into one. Which was totally false. She’d bought heavily into that lie, so how could she trust her own judgment? She couldn’t. That’s why she had to be so methodical in her approach to casework, because she couldn’t afford to let emotion rule her decisions. Or afford to make a mistake, not when the future of a child was at stake.
And she wouldn’t do either here. Maddie and Maggie deserved a loving home with a family who paid attention to their every need. Kyle Wade was not the right man for that, no matter what he said he wanted.
“Well, then,” he said easily. “Guess that answers your question.”
It so did not. She still didn’t know why he’d come home now, why he’d suddenly shown an interest in his daughters. Whether he could possibly convince her he planned to stick around—if he was even serious about that. Kyle had a habit of running away from his problems, after all.
First and foremost, how could she assess whether the time-hardened man before her could ever provide the loving, nurturing environment two fragile little girls needed?
But she’d let it slide for now. There was plenty of time to work through all of that, since Maddie and Maggie were still legally in the care of Liam and Hadley.
“I think I have enough for now. I’ll file my first report and send you a copy when it’s approved.” She had to get out of here. Before she broke down under the emotional onslaught of everything.
“That’s it, huh? What’s the report going to say?”
“It’s going to say that you’ve expressed an interest in retaining your parental rights and that I’ve advised you that I can’t approve that until I do several more site visits.”
He cocked his head, evaluating her coolly. “How long is that going to take?”
“Until I’m satisfied with your fitness as a parent. Or until I decide you’re unfit. At which point I’ll make recommendations as to what I believe is the best home for those precious girls. I will likely recommend they stay with Liam and Hadley.”
Without warning, Kyle was on his feet, an intense vibe rippling down his powerful body. She’d have sworn he hadn’t moved, and then all of a sudden, there he was, staring down at her with a sharpness about him, as if he’d homed in on her and her alone. She couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.
It was precisely the kind of focus she’d craved once. But not now. Not like this.
“Why would you give my kids to my brother?” he asked, his voice dangerously low.
“Well, the most obvious reason is because he and Hadley want them. They’ve already looked into adoption. But also because they know the babies’ needs and have already been providing the best place for the girls.”
“You are not taking away my daughters,” he said succinctly. “Why does this feel personal?”
She blinked. “This is the opposite of personal, Kyle. My job is to be the picture of impartiality. Our history has nothing to do with this.”
“I was starting to wonder if you recalled that we had a history,” he drawled slowly, loading the words with meaning.
The intensity rolling from him heightened a notch, and she shivered as he perused her as if he’d found the last morsel of chocolate in the pantry—and he was starving. All at once, she had a feeling they were both remembering the sweet fire of first love. They might have been young, but what they’d lacked in experience, they made up for in enthusiasm. Their relationship had hit some high notes that she’d prefer not to be remembering right this minute. Not with the man who’d made her body sing a scant few feet away.
“I haven’t forgotten one day of our relationship.” Why did her voice sound so breathless?
“Even the last one?” he murmured, and his voice skittered down her spine with teeth she wasn’t expecting.
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Confused as to why warning sirens were going off in her head, she stared at the spot where the inverted tray ceiling seams came together. “We broke up. You didn’t notice. Then you joined the military and eventually came home. Here we are.”
“Oh, I noticed, Grace.” The honeyed quality of his tone drew her gaze to his and the green fire there blazed with heat she didn’t know what to do with. “I think we can both agree that what happened between us ten years ago was a mistake. Never to be repeated. We’ll let bygones be bygones and you’ll figure out a way to make this pesky custody issue go away. Deal?”
A mistake. Bygones. Her heart stung as it absorbed the words that confirmed she hadn’t meant that much to him. Breaking up with him hadn’t fazed him the way she’d hoped. The daring ploy she’d staged to get his attention—by letting him catch her with Liam, a notorious womanizer—hadn’t worked, either, because he hadn’t really cared whether she messed around with his brother. The whole ruse had been for naught.
Stricken, she stared at him, unable to look away, unable to quell the turmoil inside at Kyle being close enough to touch and yet so very far away. They’d broken up ten years ago because he’d never seemed all that into their relationship. Hadn’t enough time passed for her to get over it already?
“Sure. Bygones,” she repeated, because that was all she could get out.
She escaped with the hasty promise that she’d send him a set schedule of home visits and drove away from Wade Ranch as fast as she dared. But she feared it would never be fast enough to catch up with her impartiality—it had scampered down the road far too quickly and she had a feeling she wasn’t going to recover it. Her emotions were fully engaged in this case and she’d have to work extra hard to shut them down. So she could do the best thing for everyone. Including herself.
* * *
Kyle watched Grace drive away through the window and uncurled his fists before he punched a wall. Maybe he’d punch Liam instead.
He owed his brother one, after all, and it sure looked as though Liam was determined to be yet another roadblock in a series of roadblocks standing between Kyle and fatherhood. Most of the problems couldn’t be resolved easily. But Liam wanting Kyle’s kids? That was one thing that Kyle could do something about.
So he went looking for him.
Wade land surrounded the main house to the tune of about ten thousand acres. There was a time when a scouting mission like this one would have been no sweat, but with a messed-up leg, the trek winded Kyle about fifteen minutes in. Which sucked. It was tough to be sidelined, tough to reconcile no longer being in top physical condition. Tough to keep it all inside.
Kyle found Liam in the horse barn, which was situated a good half mile away from the main house. Barn was too simplistic a term to describe the grandiose building with a flagstone pathway to the entrance, fussy landscaping and a show arena on the far end. The ranch offices and a fancy lounge were tucked inside, but he didn’t bother to gawk. His leg hurt and the walk wasn’t far enough to burn off the mad Kyle had generated while talking to Grace.
Who was somehow even more beautiful than he recalled. How was that possible when he’d already put her on a pedestal in his mind as the ideal? How would any other woman ever compare? None could. And the lady herself still got him way too hot and bothered with a coy glance. It was enough to drive a man insane. She’d screwed him up so bad, he couldn’t do anything other than weekend flings, like the one he’d had with Margaret. Look where that had gotten him.
Grace was a great big problem in a whole heap of problems. But not one he could deal with this minute. Liam? That was something he could handle.
He watched Liam back out of a stall housing one of the quarter horses Wade Ranch bred commercially, waiting until his brother was clear of the door to speak. He had enough respect for the damage a spooked eleven-hundred-pound animal could do to a man to stay clear.
“What’s this crap about you wanting to adopt my kids?” he said when Liam noticed him.
Liam snorted. “Grace must have come by. She tell you to sign the papers?”
No one ordered Kyle around, least of all Grace.
“She told me you’ve got your sights set on my family.” He crossed his arms before he made good on the impulse to smash his brother in the mouth for even uttering Grace’s name. She’d meant everything to Kyle, but to Liam, she was yet another in a long line of his women. “Back off. I’m taking responsibility for them whether you like it or not.”
Sticking a piece of clean straw between his back teeth, Liam cocked a hip and leaned against the closed stall door as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Lazily, he rearranged his battered hat. “Tell me something. What’s the annual revenue Wade Ranch brings in for stud fees?”
“How should I know?” Kyle ground out. “You run the ranch.”
“Yeah.” Liam raised his brows sardonically. “Half of which belongs to you. Grandpa died almost two years ago, yet you’ve never lifted a finger to even find out what I do here. Money pours into your bank account on a monthly basis. Know how that happens? Because I make sure of it. I made sure of a lot of things while you ran around the Middle East blowing stuff up and ignoring your responsibilities at home. One of those things I do is take care of Maddie and Maggie. Because you weren’t here. Just like you weren’t here to take on any responsibility for the ranch. I will not let you be an absentee father like you’ve been an absentee ranch owner.”
“That’s a low blow,” Kyle said softly. Liam had always viewed Kyle’s stint as a SEAL with a bit of disdain, making it clear he saw it as a cop-out. “You wanted the ranch. I didn’t. But I want my girls, and I’m going to be here for them.”
Wade Ranch had never meant anything to him other than a place to live because it was the only one he had. Then and now. Mama had cut and run faster than you could spit, once she’d dumped him and Liam here with her father, then taken the Dallas real estate market by storm. Lillian Wade had quickly become the Barbara Corcoran of the South and forgot all about the two little boys she’d abandoned.
Funny how Liam had been so similarly affected by dear old Mama. Enough to want to guarantee his blood wouldn’t ever have to know the sting of desertion. Kyle respected the thought if not the action. But Kyle was one up on Liam, because those girls were his daughters. He wasn’t about to take lessons from Mama on how to be a runaway parent.
“Too little, too late,” his brother mouthed around the straw. “Hadley and I want to adopt them. I hope you have a good lawyer in your back pocket because you’re not getting those girls without a hell of a fight.”
God Almighty. The hits kept coming. He’d barely had time to get his feet under him from being sucker punched a minute after crossing the threshold of his childhood home, only to have Liam drop twin daughters, Grace Haines and a custody battle in his lap.
They stared at each other, neither blinking. Neither backing down. They were both stubborn enough to stand there until the cows came home, and probably would, too.
Nothing was going to get fixed this way, and with Grace’s admonition to prove he was serious about providing a stable environment for Maddie and Maggie ringing in his ears, he contemplated his mule-headed brother. He wanted help with the ranch? By God, he’d get it. And Kyle would have employment to put on his Fatherhood Résumé, which would hopefully get Grace off his back at the same time.