Falling For Autumn

This was her favorite part of the entire class. She did some of her best thinking during the end of class when her body was in full-relaxation mode. She wished that she’d discovered yoga when she was in high school and college. She’d heard about it, but never tried it before. Had she known she would feel so much more content after an hour of turning her body in poses she never thought possible, she would have possibly entertained a career as an instructor.

There weren’t too many things in her life that made her feel normal. It wasn’t that she wanted to be like everyone else, but sometimes she tired of being the oddball. The opinionated woman who didn’t like weddings, who used to hide just how smart she was for fear of not being accepted. Social gatherings weren’t her thing. She enjoyed talking to people, but sometimes it just felt as if people didn’t enjoy talking to her. She was awkward. She knew it. She embraced it. But every now and then she wondered what it would be like to not feel more different than everybody else.

“That’s all, folks. See you next week.”

Just like always at the end of their hot yoga classes, she already missed the freeing feeling she exhibited for that hour. Luckily, she had enough DVDs to do yoga in the comfort of her home.

“I’m starving,” Winter said as she stretched out her body. “You ladies down for some lunch?”

Autumn and Danni both nodded their head in agreement. Sunday was the only day that Bare Sophistication was closed, which meant it was the only day the three of them could have lunch together. They had a great staff, but usually one of the three of them would be in the store at all times.

They ordered sandwiches and salads at a nearby café and grabbed a table outside to enjoy the weather.

“I really am sorry about Friday night,” Winter said before taking a bite of her salad.

“It’s okay,” Autumn replied. “Jaleen was really hospitable.”

“I bet he was.” Winter glanced at Danni and they shared a knowing smile.

“You both know he flirts with any woman he meets.”

“That’s not what our look was about, but yes, Jaleen is a flirt,” Danni said with a laugh. “I still don’t see how he thinks any woman would take him seriously.”

“Probably because women don’t make him work for it,” Winter added. “Not like I made Taheim work for it.”

“Girl, please,” Autumn said. “You didn’t make him work that hard.”

Winter turned up an eyebrow at her statement. “I guess you’re right if you’re comparing it with the way that you are making Ajay work.”

“I’d have to be interested to make him work for anything.” She ignored Danni’s giggle.

“Who are you kidding?” Winter gave her a look of disbelief. “We already know you’re attracted to him, so I don’t know why you’d think we’d believe that.”

“Yeah, he may be attractive, but he’s not my type.”

“Since when is tall, dark and handsome not your type?”

“Or muscular and successful with a deep powerful voice?” Danni added. “I’m missing what’s not attractive...”

“Then, why don’t you date him?” she said defensively.

“Sweetie, I don’t date men that my friends like or who like my friends.”

“You guys are leaving out important facts.”

“Like what?”

Autumn sighed before continuing. “Like the fact that we don’t really get along.”

“Just like Taheim and I didn’t get along? Look how that turned out.”

“That’s different. You guys started off with that terrible blind date, otherwise, things might have been different between you initially. With Ajay, he may be attracted to me, but we don’t understand each other. I’m a bit of a loner sometimes and he doesn’t know the meaning of loner. He owns so many lounges, bars and nightclubs in Chicago that he’s always around people. And I’m not a health nut, but I eat nutritious foods. Have y’all seen the menu for his venues?”

“Can you lay off the menu issue?” Danni said, shaking her head. “Seriously, you’ve been on his case about that since last year.”

“That’s not all. He has this bad-boy attitude about him.”

“Bad boys were always your type.”

“Maybe when I was young and naive,” she said, looking to Winter. “Now I’m older. Wiser. I’ve dated so many different types of men and they all have the same thing in common.”

“And what might that be?” Danni asked.

She began moving the lettuce around on her plate, not really wanting to answer the question. She didn’t like sharing her insecurities despite the fact that the women sitting at the table knew her well enough not to judge her.

“What do they have in common?” Winter asked when she didn’t respond.

“Well, for starters, they don’t understand me. I’m too intimidating for a lot of men. Too opinionated for others. Too complicated for many. Too reserved for a few. And definitely too intelligent for some to find any common ground.”

“Or, you’ve dated so many frogs that you’ve convinced yourself it’s you, not them.”

“In some cases it may be them, but the common denominator in every situation is me. And let’s not forget about him.” She didn’t dare say his name out loud. It hurt too much. Made her feel too much.

The table went quiet for a couple of minutes until Winter spoke. “Sis, sometimes we let decisions or people from our past affect the outcome of our future. What happened when you were in high school was unfortunate, but you can’t let that define your view on relationships. I don’t know why you think that you won’t find a man who understands you. But what I do know is if you aren’t willing to give a man a chance to try, then you may never know if what you think about yourself is true.”

A couple of hours later, Autumn was still thinking about her sister’s words. She was usually the one giving the ladies advice, so it felt strange to be on the receiving end. She’d spent so long analyzing past relationships and wondering what went wrong. For a while, she blamed the fact that her parents’ relationship was so broken she was bound to mess up. But that really wasn’t fair. She adored her father, who was now back living in his home country of France. Yet she despised her mother, who was incapable of loving anyone but herself. Even so, Autumn knew deep down the problem she had when it came to the opposite sex was a result of what she’d gone through in the past.

Her first serious boyfriend had left her emotionally damaged, and even now she couldn’t talk about him. Other men she dated after him had claimed to break up with her because she seemed detached. Indifferent. Impassive. Every relationship would start off going well, until things went sour and she still had no idea why.

“Or you just don’t want to face the facts,” she said aloud to herself after she’d arrived home. Fact: most men were interesting, until they weren’t. It never failed that she eventually got bored or they got bored with her. Fact: a woman who claimed to feel butterflies when a man kissed her deeply should explain to the female population that the sparks lasted only for a short while. Eventually the sparks disappeared. Fact: a woman could go her entire life without experiencing a real orgasm as a result of sexual intercourse with a man. A fact that she wished weren’t true, but understood all too well.

She went to her bathroom and turned on her shower. Her town house was only a few blocks from Bare Sophistication, and she’d fallen in love with the place when she’d visited Chicago before moving there. Before Winter had moved in with Taheim, she had stayed one block away, and Danni was still only a few blocks away.

She briefly reflected on how many women went from living independently to living with a man once they entered a serious relationship. It was understandable why that would be the next step, and she supposed men had to go through the same thing when they decided to hang up their bachelor jacket and trade it in for a nice durable family coat.

She scrolled through the music on her iPhone in search for her playlist filled with relaxing music. Once she found it, she connected her phone to the waterproof Bluetooth speaker she kept in the shower. As soon as the water rushed across her body, she immediately grabbed her plush purple loofah and dabbed it with her favorite honey-and-vanilla shower gel infused with coconut.

She was just beginning to allow the music to control her body when an incoming text message interrupted her tunes. She never responded to a message while she was in the shower or taking a bath, but as she peered closer to the screen and read the name of the person intruding on her alone time, she froze.

Oh, goodness, what could he be texting me for? They’d exchanged numbers last year when Taheim and Winter had gotten engaged, but not once had Ajay sent her a message. She dried one hand on the towel hanging outside her shower and unlocked her phone so she could read the text.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hmm. It was a little out the blue, but she was too curious as to what he really wanted not to respond.

Just relaxing. What about you?

She watched the three dots appear on her screen to indicate he was composing his text.

I’m relaxing, too. Just got done playing basketball with the guys.

Great, now I’m imagining him all hot and sweaty. Even as the thought entered her mind, she shook her head to try to get rid of it. She wasn’t the type to swoon over a sweaty man, and she definitely wasn’t going to start now.

I just finished a yoga class with the ladies.

She had barely hit Send before he responded.

Yoga, huh? A man can do a lot with that type of information.

She smiled despite herself. Ajay barely flirted with her in person, yet was flirting with her via text message. Maybe he’s just horny. Or maybe he was just warming her up before getting to the real reason he texted her. The water continued to hit her body, and the combination of the rhythm of the water and rereading what Ajay had written her was sparking her boldness. She wanted to entertain his flirtatiousness...just a little.

You know, they say yoga doesn’t just increase your strength, balance and flexibility. It also helps your endurance...

Not exactly flirty, but good enough. He wasn’t really flirting with her heavily, so she couldn’t lay it all out there. The dots didn’t appear for a short while, and she wondered if he was trying to think of a response.

Endurance. One of my favorite words. The ability to remain active for an extended period of time. What other extracurricular activities do you enjoy?

She laughed at the ridiculousness of their conversation. Ridiculous or not, you’re enjoying it.

I also love Zumba. Any excuse to lose myself in a dance, let my thoughts float around and get a workout at the same time.

Once again, his response was quick.

So you enjoy activities that allow you to lose yourself and get lost in your thoughts?

She starting typing a general response, but decided to be more honest.

I tend to enjoy anything that lets me escape harsh realities and find solace in not overthinking everything I say or everything I do. Even in a roomful of people, I sometimes feel like the sole individual. Alone in my relaxation. Just the way I like it.

There. She did it. She’d told him something that she hadn’t really told anyone before. Further making her wonder why in the world he affected her and made her want to open up. Probably because you’re secretly hoping that he will try to understand you. But that wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. She wouldn’t let it, and she wasn’t an open book. Getting her hopes up meant she was leaving room for disappointment.

She placed her phone back in a safe place away from the water. A couple of minutes later, it dinged again. Don’t read his message, she warned herself. You’ve already let him take over half your shower. Deep down, she knew it was no point heeding her own warning. She dried one hand again and read his message.

A sea full of people and no one who understands you... I know the feeling all too well. Sometimes it’s better to be alone because it gives you a chance to find yourself. To be yourself and answer any unresolved questions.

She read the message a second time, surprised that he’d related to her message and even read between the lines and interpreted things that she hadn’t even written. Before she got a chance to write a response, another message popped up.

And then other times, you may be in a roomful of people and lock eyes with someone who notices you. Someone you don’t have to explain anything to. Someone who sees past what you’re trying to hide from others. All of a sudden it doesn’t matter if thousands of people don’t understand the type of person you are as long as you find one person who does... Or one person who’s willing to try.

Her lips parted as she stared at the message. Mind. Blown. She no longer had to worry about Ajay invading her relaxing shower, because after his profound text messages, he’d just hijacked all the rest of her thoughts for the week.

Chapter 4

This had been the longest week he’d had in a long time, but Ajay knew he had brought it on himself. He had no idea why he had contacted Autumn five days ago, but he had. And she’d responded.

He’d been thinking about her after his basketball game last Sunday and for some reason, he’d wanted to know how she was doing. They hadn’t even exchanged a lot of texts messages that day, but the few they had had been enough to make him think about her the entire week.

Autumn was like a puzzle and he was slowly finding the pieces needed to figure her out. Not fully, but enough to understand her character and hopefully figure out why he had this insane attraction to her.

Her responses to his messages seemed to mirror the thoughts that were floating around in his mind, which didn’t make much sense. He’d been around her enough to know that they had many dissimilarities. But he guessed he must have disregarded the few parallels they might have. Before he’d known what his fingers were doing, he’d responded to her text honestly. Not that he would have lied to her. He just might not have written a message so close to how he actually felt. Up until those texts, everything had been a competition with them. He’d stared at his phone the rest of the night as their messages had continued for almost an hour after his first message.

Now he was standing outside her door debating on going inside. He glanced around the area to see if he noticed Jaleen’s car parked anywhere. When he came up short, he decided to take his chances and pray that Danni was already there so that he could at least focus his attention on both of them rather than just Autumn. Inevitably, he would have to go inside, since he was meeting with Autumn, Jaleen and Danni to discuss Winter and Taheim’s party.

He finally knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. When she did, he instantly felt his pants tighten just a little.

He’d seen her in dresses and jeans before, but he’d never seen her in the type of outfit she was wearing now. Thanks to having a brother in the fashion industry, he knew things that he probably wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for Taheim dragging him to one fashion show after another.

The coppery romper she wore accentuated her toned legs and luscious thighs. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail with a small hump at the top. Standing in the doorway the way that she was, there was no mistaking her beauty. But it wasn’t just her looks that caught his interest. It was the confidence in her stance and the awareness reflected in her eyes. After his reaction to her, he didn’t give a damn if Danni had made it to Autumn’s house or not.

“Hello, Autumn. You look nice.”

“So do you,” she said with a smile. “Please come in.”

As he walked into her town house, he couldn’t help but feel as if he were picking her up for a date, rather than discussing a party. He could feel the nerves creep up his spine, and for him, that was so unlike his character.

“Hey, Ajay,” Danni said as they rounded the corner to the dining room. “You’re just in time. We’re finally finished talking about what we want for the women-only portion of the night.”

“Tell me again why the wedding party is planning this without the help of Elite Events?”

“Everyone in Chicago goes to those ladies for all their planning needs,” Danni replied. “Of course they would help plan this if we asked them to, but they are already helping Winter and Taheim plan the wedding in Bora Bora, so the least we could do is plan the other events.”

Ajay observed Autumn. “I’m surprised I didn’t hear any grunts from you while Danni was talking.”

“I’m turning over a new leaf,” she said with a forced smile. “At this point, everyone knows how I feel about weddings, so there is no need to continue complaining about it. Besides, this is for my sister and the man she loves, so the least I could do is be the maid of honor she deserves.”

“Look at you,” he said jokingly. “After how you acted when they asked us to be maid of honor and best man, I would have never thought I’d see the day when Autumn Dupree actually seemed okay with planning a wedding event.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She glanced down and began moving around a couple of papers on the table.

“It was meant to be.”

She looked up at him then and held his gaze. I’d never want to play poker with her. There was no doubt in his mind he would lose. Sometimes he could understand her cues, but most of the time, her thoughts were still a mystery.

“Do you want me to get the door?” Danni asked Autumn. He hadn’t even heard the doorbell.

“No, I’ll get it,” she replied as she rushed out of the room. The gentlemanly thing to do would be to let her walk out of the room and discreetly check out her backside or not even look at all. Instead, his eyes followed her all the way out of the room.

“I don’t know who’s worse. You or your brother.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, turning back to Danni.

She gave him a knowing look. “The way you’re always staring intently at Autumn is the exact same way your brother stared at Winter in the beginning of their relationship.”

“You can’t compare me and Autumn to Taheim and Winter.”

“Why not?”

“Because they were falling in love with each other. They had a bad first date, which made things rocky in the beginning, but in the end, they realized just how much they had in common. Autumn and I barely know each other.” Except for the things we shared with each other a few days ago. He quickly brushed the thought aside.

“Oh, okay, I see now,” Danni said. “Taheim and Winter didn’t get along when they first met. You and Autumn got along great when you first met, right?”

“Right,” he said without thinking. “Well, not really. She told me the food I’d ordered for a practice we had before the grand opening of Inferno Night Lounge wasn’t healthy. The same way she hounded me for weeks after about the menu of my other venues.”

“Gotcha. And Taheim and Winter were forced to work together for an event. But you and Autumn were never forced to work together, right?”

“Correct. We were never forced to work together.”

Danni waved her arms around the room and it clicked that they were working together for their siblings’ wedding. “This doesn’t count. I’m happy to be a part of Taheim and Winter’s wedding.”

“And I’m sure Autumn is, too. But this forces you both to work together. Still, I see your point because Taheim and Winter would always steal glances at each other when they thought no one was watching. You and Autumn don’t do that, either, am I right?”

He was about to respond that she was right yet again, which would validate that they were nothing like Taheim and Winter, when Autumn walked back into the room with Jaleen beside her.

He dapped fists with Jaleen as Autumn made her way to the other side of the table where Danni was standing. Jaleen started talking about something that had happened to him at work earlier in the day, but in the corner of his eye he could see Autumn adjusting her outfit. And just like that, his eyes found hers again.

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