He wanted to touch Jamie. He wanted to connect; naturally he did. Her throat thickened in the weighted quiet. She slid Jamieâs little blue teddy towards Duarte, nudging his braced fingers with the toy. âYou could give him thatââ
âWhen I need your advice, Iâll ask for it.â Lean strong face clenching hard, Duarte dealt her a flaring glance of bitter hostility. âItâs not a lot of fun wondering whether my own child will scream if I try to touch him.â
Emily paled. âI knowâ¦Iâm sorryââ
A tiny muscle pulling tight at the corner of his hard jawline, Duarte thrust his broad shoulders back against the seat. âIâve got plenty of time to get to know him. Iâll do it without an audience.â
He was so incredibly proud. Had she not seen the yearning in Duarteâs body language as he contemplated his infant son, she might have believed that he felt nothing.
âI was scared to get in contact with youâ¦I was scared of losing himââ
âIâm not about to discuss your behaviour in front of him. Youâre his mother. You sound distressed. Look at your sonâ¦heâs listening to your voice and watching your every move and youâre scaring him,â Duarte condemned.
Emily saw the truth of that censure in Jamieâs anxious air and her strained eyes stung, forcing her to blink rapidly. She compressed her lips on all the words that wanted to spill out of her but which Duarte did not want to hear. And could she really blame him? She was making excuses again. Right at that moment, Duarteâs sole interest was in his son. She was just an adjunct, along for the ride because Jamie needed her. However, it was painfully obvious to Emily that Duarte was barely tolerating her presence.
From the instant they entered the crowded bustling airport, Emily became conscious of her scuffed shoes, faded jodhpurs and ancient sweater. The outfit had been practical for the long drive she had expected to have but she felt like a tramp beside Duarte, immaculate in a charcoal grey suit exquisitely tailored to his tall athletic physique.
âI could have done with getting changed,â she said uneasily. âBut I donât really have anything suitable.â
She had left all her expensive clothes behind in Portugal. Not that that much mattered, she conceded ruefully, for that wardrobe had rejoiced most in fashion accidents. If she got the colour right, she invariably got the style wrong. Growing up, she had been a tomboy, living in jeans and riding gear. Her attempt to experiment with a more feminine look had been squashed in her sensitive teens by her sistersâ scorn. It had been poor preparation for marriage to a rich man and entry into a daunting world in which her appearance really seemed to matter.
âYou can buy an outfit here and change,â Duarte pointed out.
To Emily those words were confirmation that she looked an embarrassing mess. Her throat thickened and her eyes stung and she reddened fiercely for she had no money either. She hovered over Jamieâs buggy with a downbent head.
Through swimming eyes, Emily focused on the gold credit card extended in silence by her husband. The most enormous bitterness and pain seemingly rose out of nowhere inside her and she whispered helplessly, âYou shouldâve married some fancy model, a real fashion plateâ¦not someone like me!â
âIt is a little late now.â Duarteâs deflating tone was more than equal to capping even the most emotional outburst. âAnd this is not the place to stage an argument.â
Emily swallowed hard. When had she ever had the nerve to argue with him? Yet it was odd how much she now wanted to argue but she was far too conscious of being in public where angry words would be overheard. Accepting the credit card without looking at him, she released her hold on the buggy and headed for the closest dress shop. There she scanned the packed displays. Choose really bright colours, Bliss had once advised Emily, saying that such shades flattered Emilyâs pale skin tone and balanced her red hair. Emily sped over to a rack of cerise dresses but they were way too plain in design to conceal a figure that Bliss had gently pointed out was more boyish than lush. Browsing at speed, she picked a jazzy orange handkerchief top with bell sleeves and a big glittery lime green motif on the front. Nobody was likely to notice her lack in the bosom department under that, Emily thought gratefully. She teamed the top with a long orange skirt that had the same fancy hem.
Both garments matched in colour and style, she reflected with relief, thinking that that should definitely ensure a presentable appearance. She picked up a pair of high-heeled leopard-print mules because she knew they were the height of fashion. Her purchases made, she made harried use of a changing cubicle. Emerging from the shop again, hot and breathless, she saw Duarte and his security men standing around Jamieâs buggy in the centre of the wide concourse.
Mateus and the rest of his team focused on her and momentarily stared before lowering their heads. Then Duarte glanced in her direction and froze. Not a single betraying expression appeared on his darkly handsome features but he seemed to breathe in very deep and slow. And she knew right then that she had got it wrong again. Her heart sank right down to the toes of her horribly uncomfortable mules and she despised herself for her own weakness, her pathetic attempt to please and win his approval in even the smallest way.
âSorry I took so long,â she mumbled, reclaiming the buggy without glancing back up at him but conscious of his brooding presence with every fibre of her wretched being.
âNoâ¦problem,â Duarte sighed.
In the VIP lounge, she caught an involuntary glimpse of herself in a mirror and she was startled. She looked like a fluorescent carrot, she decided in stricken recoil. Flinching, she turned away from that mortifying reflection. Sitting down, she tried to disappear into herself and her own thoughts in the manner she had begun to practise within months of marrying Duarte. He never had been any great fan of idle chatter. She just wanted to sink into the woodwork, sitting there in an outfit that he most probably thought was ghastly. So why did she care? Why did she still care?
Emily had always been conscious that she was neither pretty nor beautiful. Her mother and both her sisters were tall shapely blondes with classic bone structures. Even in appearance, she had not fitted her family. At the age of ten, she had asked her mother where her own red hair came from in the family tree as even her father was fair. Her mother had dealt her a angry look as if even asking such a question was offensive and had told her that she owed her âunfortunateâ carroty curls to the genetic legacy of her late grandmother.
Seeing no point in bemoaning what could not be altered, Emily hadnât ever really minded being short, red-haired and small in the chest and hip department. But the same moment that she first saw Duarte Avila de Monteiro, she had started minding very much that she would never have what it would take to attract him. Of course, it had not once occurred to her that a male of his calibre and wealth would look twice at her anyway but she still remembered her own foolish feelings of intense sadness and hurt that it should be that way. That Duarte should be so utterly detached from her when her own senses thrilled to even his presence a hundred feet away.
And she still recalled the very first moment she had laid eyes on Duarte and very much doubted that he didâ¦
CHAPTER THREE
BY THE time she was nineteen, Emily had qualified as a riding instructor.
Her two older sisters had found lucrative employment in their fatherâs wine-importing business but Emily had not been offered the same opportunity. Indeed, urged by her mother to leave home and be independent long before she was earning enough to pay a decent rent, Emily had finally given up on the job she loved. She had taken work as a live-in groom at Ash Manor, Duarteâs English country house.
The stable manager had hired Emily and, working at the manor, she had had an interesting insight into the lifestyle of a super-rich and powerful banker. Aside from his private jet, his fleet of helicopters and luxury cars, Duarte owned half a dozen palatial homes, superb horseflesh and a priceless art collection. He was the guy with everything, the target of endless awe, speculation and envy. But the one thing Duarte Avila de Monteiro did not have, it seemed, was the precious time to enjoy his innumerable possessions.
It had been weeks before Emily actually saw her wealthy employer in the flesh but she had already been told what he was like. Cool, polite, distant, formal, not the type to unbend with lesser beings, very much the product of a Portuguese aristocratic lineage said to stretch back to the thirteenth century.
His incredible silver sports car pulled up one afternoon while Emily and another female groom were cleaning tack. The stable manager hurried from his office to greet Duarte.
âThat carâs a MacLaren F1, worth six hundred grand,â Emilyâs companion groaned. âAnd just wait until you see him. When I first came here, I assumed the banker boss was some old geezer, but heâs only twenty-eight and heâs pure sex on legs. If you got him on his own without his bodyguards, youâd lock him in your bedroom and throw away the key!â
Even more than two years on, Emily still remembered that first shattering sight of Duarte. Sunlight gleaming over the luxuriant black hair stylishly cropped to his proud head as he climbed out of his car, a crisp white shirt accentuating his bronzed complexion but most of all she had noticed his stunning eyes, deepset and dark as sable at first glance but tawny gold as a hunting animalâs the next. She was shocked and bemused by the unfamiliar leap of her own senses and the quite ridiculous stab of loss which assailed her when he turned away to open the passenger door of his car.
In place of the beautiful woman she had expected to see in Duarteâs passenger seat was an absolutely huge shaggy dog curled up nose to tail into the smallest possible size.
The other groom backed into the tack out of sight. âIâm not going to get stuck with that monster again. That dogâs as thick as a block of wood, wonât come when you call it and itâs as fast on its feet as a race horse!â
Before the other girl even finished speaking, the stable manager called Emily over and told her to exercise the dog.
It was an Irish wolfhound. Unfolded from the car, it had to measure a good three feet in height and Emily was just one inch over five feet tall herself. But although Emily had not been allowed to have a pet as a child, she adored dogs of all shapes and sizes.
âBe kind. Jazz is getting old,â Duarteâs rich, dark, accented drawl interposed with cool authority.
Emily angled a shy upward glance at him, overwhelmed by his proximity, his sheer height and breadth and potent masculinity. She had to tip her head right back to see his lean, dark, devastating face. She collided with sizzling dark golden eyes and for her it was like being knocked off her feet by a powerful electrical charge. She trembled, felt the feverish heat of an embarrassing blush redden her fair skin, the stormy thump of her heartbeat and the most challenging shortness of breath. But Duarte simply walked away from her again, apparently experiencing no physical jolt of awareness, feeling nothing whatsoever, indeed not really even having seen her for she had only been another junior employee amongst many: faceless, beneath his personal notice.
And, no doubt, had not fate intervened, her acquaintance with Duarte Avila de Monteiro would never have advanced beyond that point. However, in those days, Duarte had left Jazz behind at the manor when he was out of the country. The dog should have stayed indoors but the housekeeper had disliked animals and as soon as Duarte departed, she would have the wolfhound locked in the barn. Exercising Jazz fell to Emily for nobody else wanted the responsibility.
âThe boss is fond of that stupid dog. If it gets lost or harmed in some way, well itâll cost you your job,â the stable manager warned Emily impatiently. âThatâs why we just leave it locked up. I know it seems a little heartless but the animalâs well fed and it has plenty of space in there.â
But Emily was too tender-hearted to bear the sound of Jazzâs pathetic cries for company. She spent all her free time playing with him in a paddock and she gave him the affection he soaked up like a giant hungry sponge. So, the evening that the barn went up in fire, when everyone else stood by watching the growing conflagration in horror, Emily did not even stop to think of her own safety but charged to the rescue of an animal she had grown to love.
Although she contrived to calm Jazzâs panic and persuade him out of the barn, she passed out soon afterwards from smoke inhalation. Surfacing from the worst effects, she then found herself in a private room in the local hospital with Duarte stationed by her bedside.
The instant she opened her eyes, Duarte sprang up and approached the bed, his appearance startling her out of what remained of her scrambled wits. âRisking your own life to save my dog was incredibly foolish and incredibly brave,â he murmured with a reflective smile that in spite of its haunting brevity had more charm than she had believed any smile might possess.
âI just didnât think,â she mumbled, transfixed by the drop-dead gorgeous effect of him smiling.
âYou are a heroine. I contacted your family.â His strong jawline squared. âI understand that they are very busy people and, of course, I told them that you were already recovering. I am not sure whether or not they will find it possible to visit.â
Paling at that sympathetic rendering of her familyâs evident lack of concern at the news that she had been hospitalised, Emily veiled her pained gaze. âThanksâ¦â
âIt is I who am in debt to you. One of the grooms had the courage to confess that, but for you, Jazz would have spent every hour of my absence imprisoned in that barn,â Duarte admitted grimly. âYou are the only one in a staff of almost twenty who had the kindness to take care of his needs.â
Embarrassed by that unsought accolade, Emily muttered, âI just like animals and Jazz may be a bit daft but heâs very loving.â
The forbidding look on his lean dark features dissipated and he vented a rueful laugh. âJazz has a brain the size of a pea. He was my sisterâs dog. After her death, he should have been rehomed but I did not have the heart to part with him.â His face shadowed again. âPerhaps that was a selfish decision for I am often away on businessââ
âNo. He just adores you. I couldnât get him to settle at night until I got the housekeeper to give me an old sweater of yours to put in his bed,â Emily volunteered in a rush.
There was an awkward little silence. Faint colour now scored his superb cheekbones. He studied her through black lashes lush as silk fans, palpably questioning why he had unbent to such an extent with her. A minute later, he had been the powerful banker again, politely taking his departure, having done his duty in visiting her. A magnificent bouquet of flowers and a basket of fruit had been delivered soon after his departure. She had not expected to see him again except at a distance when he was at the manor.
But the next day when she was released from hospital, Duarte picked her up and insisted on driving her home to convalesce with her family. She spent the whole journey falling deeper and deeper in love with a guy so out of her reach he might as well have come from another galaxy. There was only a little conversation during that drive for Duarte was often on the phone.
Her family took one astonished but thrilled look at Duarte and his chauffeur-driven limousine and invited him to stay to dinner. Billionaire single bankers were hugely welcome in a house containing two young, beautiful single blondes. Indeed, her sisters Hermione and Corinne had competed for Duarteâs attention with outrageous flattery and provocative innuendoes. Sunk in the background as usual by their flirtatious charm, Emily had felt painfully like the ugly duckling amongst the swans.
Emily was sprung back to the present by the necessity of boarding the jet. Soon after take-off, she realised that Jamie was overtired and cross. The steward showed her into a rear compartment where a special travel cot already waited in readiness for its small occupant. It took Emily a good twenty minutes to settle Jamie and then, with pronounced reluctance, she returned to the luxurious main cabin again.
Duarte rose from his seat and straightened to his full commanding height. âIs Jamie asleep?â
Emily nodded jerkily, her tension rising by the second.
âVerbal responses would be welcome,â Duarte added drily.
Encountering brilliant dark golden eyes, she reddened hotly. âYes, heâs asleep but maybe I should sit with him for a while in case he wakes up again.â
âTrying to impress me with maternal overkill? Tell me, who looked after Jamie while you were giving riding lessons?â
âNobodyââ
âNobody?â Duarte queried with hard emphasis.
Emily frowned in surprise. âIt really wasnât a problem. I was only instructing a couple of hours a day and I would park Jamieâs buggy outside the paddock. He was never more than a few feet from me and he usually had the company of parents watching their childâs lesson.â
As Duarte listened, his lean powerful face tautened, his wide sensual mouth compressing. âUsually? A working stables is no place to leave a baby unattended. You know as well as I do that riders canât always control their mounts and that your attention mustâve been on your pupilââ
Under that attack, Emily had stiffened and lost much of her natural colour. âJamie was always safe. I did the very best that I couldââ
âBut your best wasnât halfway good enough,â Duarte cut in with biting derision. âYou left my son at the mercy of passing strangers instead of ensuring that he received proper careââ
âI wanted to spend every minute with him that I could and youâre making this sound much worse than it was,â Emily protested defensively. âEverywhere I worked, Jamie got loads and loads of attention. Most people like babies, especially happy onesââ
âThatâs not the point,â Duarte said coldly.
Emily worried at her lower lip and then said heavily, âEven if I had wanted to, I couldnât have afforded to pay someone to look after himââ
âAnd whose fault was that?â
As her tension climbed, Emily trembled and her tummy churned. Thinking straight had become a challenge; she had never been much good at confrontations. However, on this occasion she found herself struggling to speak up in her own defence. âWhose fault was it that I left Portugal in the first place?â
Far from looking impressed or indeed startled by that comeback, Duarte inclined his arrogant dark head to one side and levelled his incisive gaze on her in the most formidable way. âPresumably you are about to give me the answer to that strange question?â he prompted.
âI only left Portugal because I thought that you were planning to try and take my child off me the minute he was born!â Emily countered in an accusing rush.
Duarte angled an imperious brow. âWhat kind of a nonsensical excuse is that? Before this morning, I never made a threat in that line. To be frank, my patience with you came to an end today. But who or what gave you the idea that I might have been considering such a dramatic move last year?â
Emily flinched and dropped her head, shaken at how close she had come in her turmoil to revealing Blissâs role in events eight months earlier. Had she done that, she could never have forgiven herself. Bliss had been the truest of supportive friends during Emilyâs troubled marriage, cheering Emily up when her spirits were low while offering helpful advice and encouragement. Although Emily had not contacted the other woman since leaving Portugal, she assumed that her friend still worked as Duarteâs executive assistant. Bliss had eavesdropped on that confidential dialogue between Duarte and his lawyer and had forewarned Emily. Were Duarte ever to discover that a member of his own staff had been that disloyal, Blissâs high-flying career would be destroyed.
âI just got the ideaâ¦at the time, the way you were treating meâwell, erâ¦it seemed to make sense to me and I was afraid that you were planning to separate me from my childââ
âSo you chose to separate our son from me instead. Is that how this sorry story goes?â Duarte dealt her a look of shimmering challenge that made her breath trip in her already tight throat. âThis convenient angle that continually seeks to turn you into a poor little victim? Well, I have news for youâIâm not impressed, querida.â
âIâm not trying to impressââ
âNo?â Without warning, Duarte sent her a sudden slanting golden glance as hard and deadly as an arrow thudding into a live target.
Feeling the sudden smouldering surge in the atmosphere but unable to comprehend what had caused it, Emily untwisted her laced hands and made a jerky move with one of them as if she was appealing for his attention. âI know Iâve made mistakesââ
âMistakes?â
ââbut now Iâm just being open and honestââ
âOpenâ¦and honest,â Duarte repeated with a brand of electrifying soft sibilance that danced down her rigid spine like a fullscale storm warning. âQue absurdo! An honest whore you were not!â
Emilyâs lips parted company and she fell back a faltering step in dismay at the proclamation and that particular word being aimed at her. Even in the aftermath of finding her in another manâs arms, Duarte had not employed such an emotive term. âB-butââ
âBut what? You were carrying my baby when you slept with another man. How many women have affairs while theyâre pregnant with their husbandâs child?â Duarte demanded in a derisive tone of disgust that nailed her to the spot. âBut no such fine sensibilities restrained you. You even dared to introduce me to your lover. You also brought him into my home. Only a whore would behave like that.â
Forced to recognise the extent of the sins being laid at her door, Emily gasped strickenly, âDuarte, it wasnât like that and Toby was never myââ
âDo you really think Iâll listen to your pathetic excuses? You are nothing to me.â Duarte made that wounding statement with a savage cool that bled all remaining colour from her shaken face.
You are nothing to me. That he should feel that way was hardly news but spoken out loud that acknowledgement cut Emily in two.
âBut you belong to me. Minha esposaâ¦you are my wife,â Duarte completed with sardonic bite.
Under the onslaught of that ultimate putdown, Emily felt something curiously akin to a re-energising flame dart through her slim tense body and she flung her head back. âNoâ¦I donât belong to you like your cars and your houses and your wretched art collection,â she heard herself asserting. âI may be your wife but Iâm not an object without any thoughts or feelings or rightsââ
Although she had no recollection of him moving, Duarte was now a step closer, threateningly close. Even as she was still fighting to understand quite where her own unusually spirited defence had come from, she was awesomely conscious of the expanse of all that lean, taut masculinity poised within inches of her own much smaller frame.
In the electrifying silence that had fallen, shimmering golden eyes sought and held her scrutiny, all the powerful force of will he possessed bearing down on her. âYou have no rights in this marriage.â
âI donât believe you mean thatâ¦you couldnât,â Emily reasoned, tearing her gaze hurriedly from his as her heart rate speeded up. âYouâre just very angry with meââ