These Arms of Mine
“We’ll pay you back.”
He sighed fully before giving her his full attention again. “When?”
“As soon as we can.” At his dubious look she nearly shouted, “You don’t need the money. You don’t even miss it!”
“That’s not the point.”
The coldest eyes she had ever encountered locked on hers. She forced herself not to retreat from his frigid gaze—she knew from past experience he could utterly melt a woman’s heart and resistance without even trying. After all this time, he still unnerved her. He made her feel completely raw and vulnerable.
“So, what is the point?”
“Your brother took something that belonged to me. No one does that without suffering the consequences—no one.”
The darkening of her eyes let him know that his reference to their relationship was not lost on her.
“How can you be so heartless?”
“Look, I didn’t ask your brother to embezzle funds from me, and I didn’t ask you to come here today, pleading with me to show mercy to someone who should be—no, who will be—prosecuted.”
Why didn’t she leave and stop torturing him with her very presence? Lord, what had he done in his life to deserve this?
“I don’t know what else to say.” She closed her eyes as if seeking divine intervention.
Unable to bear staring at her beauty another second, he swiveled his chair to look out the huge wall-to-wall windows. “You can show yourself out.”
She quickly weighed telling him the real reason Robert had embezzled from him. It had nothing to do with gambling, as he had suggested. If he knew Robert’s actions were motivated out of love, not greed, would it change his attitude? Would the truth soften his hard heart? She didn’t want to bare her soul to him, but if it would save her brother, she didn’t have a choice in the matter.
“Won’t you please just listen to me?” She faced the back of his head. “Robert’s not what you think. He took the money because…”
He swiveled in his chair and held up a hand to forestall the remainder of her explanation. He’d had enough and needed her to leave.
“Alesha, I don’t care why Robert took the money—all that matters is that he’s an embezzler! Nothing you have to say will change that or make me change my mind about pressing charges against him. I’ve heard you out, now goodbye.”
She quickly stood, realizing she was wasting her time. There was no use in trying to appeal to his better nature. His words made that perfectly clear and she had no intention of giving him the satisfaction of watching her beg.
She snatched up her purse. “What happened to you? How did you become so cold?”
“I am what people like you have made me.”
God, she was torturing him. Her very presence tormented him; yet she also made him feel like he hadn’t felt in a long, long time, and he was angry and unsettled by that.
“You are what you want to be.” She was angry with herself and with her absurd reaction to seeing him again. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.” She turned and walked toward the door.
“Alesha?”
He spoke her name softly, almost caressingly. She felt it run down her spine like soothing, exciting fingers of desire—the sensation stopped her in her tracks. She prayed he would stop being so informal with her because the way he said her name—intimately, for her alone—was destroying her. How could a man’s voice stroke her in forbidden places so forcefully that she wanted nothing more than to be utterly immersed in him?
She was about to walk out. However, despite his better judgment, he didn’t want her to go. What was it about Alesha Robinson that had always sent his blood simmering and then, just as quickly, boiling out of control?
She turned turbulent eyes on him. “We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”
“You started this, Alesha.” He arrogantly lifted an eyebrow before deliberately adding, “And I’m going to finish it.”
“We’re done.”
She turned to leave again, not just because he annoyed and angered her, but because there was something about Derrick Chandler that was setting off small explosions of awareness within her entire body. Her legs felt wobbly and her heart ached for something that had once been within her grasp and now seemed light-years away. She needed some air; she had to get out of here before she made a complete fool of herself.
“What if I told you that I wouldn’t press charges against your brother?” His unexpected words halted her departure.
Had she heard him correctly? She turned and her puzzled gaze encountered his.
“What did you say?”
“I think you heard me.”
“Don’t toy with me.”
An arrogant half smile turned up the corners of his mouth at her chastising tone.
“I never play, unless I choose the game and am assured of victory.”
She believed him. He was a man used to getting his way—always, except once with her. She slowly walked back until she was standing in front of his desk again.
“So you’re serious about letting Robert off the hook?”
“Yes.”
Something in his tone worried her, yet she stood her ground. She had the feeling she would regret her next question, but she had to ask it.
“What do you want in return?”
He stood and slowly walked until he was standing in front of her, so close that their bodies were almost touching. She resisted a strong impulse to turn and run or take the few steps necessary to bring them breast to breast. She faced him unwaveringly as she waited apprehensively for his response.
His eyes roamed over her from head to toe. His blatant inspection made her feel as if she were a piece of prime meat he was preparing to devour with that wicked mouth of his. Her heart began to beat erratically, not from fear, but from another emotion just as strong.
“Something only you can give me.”
“Which is what?” She tilted her head up his tall frame, staring at him uneasily.
He continued to subject her to his slow scrutiny, his eyes lingering long on her moist, slightly parted lips, before lifting to meet her eyes once again. His thorough examination was more disquieting than anything she could have imagined he would say. However, his next words proved her wrong.
“I want you,” he answered truthfully.
Chapter 2
He was unblinking and serious as he continued staring into her huge, horrified eyes. After a few seconds of silence, he laughed out loud at her apparent shock. He knew his declaration was the last thing she had expected to hear—it was honestly the last thing he had expected to utter.
She didn’t make a move as his brief laughter reverberated in the quiet office before silence returned. He said nothing further and she was unable to respond. Instead, she stared at him unblinkingly, a hand slowly going to her suddenly constricted throat while her heart thudded loudly.
When she finally found her voice it was hushed and strained. “You can’t be serious!”
“Can’t I?”
She searched his face for signs that he was being facetious, yet found none. Still, he had to be joking. Her other hand moved to her throbbing temple and she tried to laugh dismissively—she couldn’t have heard him correctly.
“I must have misunderstood you.”
“Did you?” His piercing eyes studied her face carefully.
“Did you say that you want…me?” She forced herself to repeat his ridiculous statement.
“You understand me correctly.”
“What do you mean by want?” As she articulated the question, she was petrified of his response.
“Want. A transitive verb meaning to desire, to have need for, to crave.”
Every word he used to describe his meaning brought vivid pictures to her mind. She swallowed hard to dispel the lump that had rapidly risen in her throat, but to no avail. She stared at the man in front of her, amusement still twinkling in his eyes. Yet, underneath the levity lurked something else—a seriousness that terrified her.
“Are you saying you expect me to…you expect us to…that you want…”
She couldn’t force herself to finish that sentence.
“I want you to marry me.”
“Marry you?” She sank into the chair she had vacated earlier.
“What did you think I meant?” He studied her distraught face carefully. “Alesha, you didn’t think I wanted us to live together in sin, did you?”
“Why do you want to marry me?” She needed a cold compress for her head.
“Because I need a wife.” He reclined against his desk.
“You need a wife?” She paused before continuing. “Why?”
“According to my campaign manager, it would be good for me to be seen as a family man, and having a wife would equip me with a full-time hostess and date.”
He took no pleasure in reiterating Cam’s earlier words. Although seeing the woman who had single-handedly ruined his life two years ago in acute distress was very gratifying, indeed.
“How romantic.”
Her dry tones made his eyebrow rise slightly—he had no clue how she managed to be sarcastic at a time like this.
“You once made it clear that you didn’t want romance from me. Has that changed?”
“Do you always do what others tell you?” She deliberately sidestepped his previous question.
“Never.” He firmly shook his head.
“Then why start now?”
She couldn’t marry him—or anyone else—under these circumstances. The very idea was absurd!
“I’ve already answered that question.” His face was unreadable.
“Have you?”
Of course, he didn’t tell her that until she had walked through his office door, he had no intention of agreeing to Cam’s suggestion. Even having put the proposal on the table, he couldn’t believe he had done so. Yet, there had always been something about her—something that sparked a chord inside him. He was dismayed to learn his reaction to her hadn’t dissipated with the time they had spent apart—time she had forced them to spend apart, he angrily went over in his mind. Despite his better judgment, he still wanted her, and this time he was determined to have her—all of her.
“You don’t even like me.”
She waited for him to respond but he remained silent. Slowly, he smiled without humor and neither denied nor confirmed her observation. Lord, she wished she had never come here today! She had thought, prayed, that time would have healed old wounds. However, it was painfully apparent it had not. He obviously wanted nothing to do with her, but if that was true, why was he suggesting that they get married?
“‘Like’ is irrelevant, Alesha.”
“How can you say that? How can you suggest that we get married?”
“I told you why already.”
He sighed, his tone implying he had no desire to explain his reasons to her again or to justify them to himself.
She lowered her aching head into her hands and willed herself to wake up from this nightmare. However, when she raised her head again, the man in front of her had not vanished, as she had hoped. Rather, his presence was undeniable as he watched her closely.
“You’re serious.”
“I am.” He nodded affirmatively.
“Is this about revenge?” She articulated the only possibility that made any sense to her.
“It’s about fate, Alesha.”
“Fate?”
Her disdainful, soft echoing of his single prophetic word caused a slight clinching of his jaw—or did she imagine that?
“Yes.”
There was uncomfortable silence as each tried to guess what the other was thinking. Each one of them would have been surprised to realize their feelings were more in sync than not. Since parting, they had been destined to come to this point and now they were here. Where their lives ended up from here was a mystery to them both.
“If I agree to your proposal, what do you expect?”
She couldn’t believe she was actually contemplating his unorthodox proposition. However, she didn’t have a viable alternative—not if she wanted to save her brother.
“Model behavior, public affection. There’ll be a great deal of publicity and we will have to appear happily married and very much in love.”
Intense dread spread throughout her entire soul as he rattled off his requirements for a wife as if he were reading from a shopping list. He seemed so hard—had she done that to him? Somehow she knew she had and that hurt more than anything.
“And privately?” She stared into those cool gray eyes of his.
“You’ll have to be more specific.”
His mocking smile showed that he knew exactly what she referred to. He was getting immense pleasure in needling her.
Taking a deep breath and releasing it on a sigh she elaborated, “This will be a marriage in name only?”
“No, it will not.”
She stood up at that, her chest heaving rapidly. “You can’t expect me to…for us to…” Her voice trailed off, unable to finish that sentence.
“I can, and I do.” His eyes swept appreciatively over her slender, shapely body.
“This is ridiculous, and I’m a fool for even considering your absurd proposition!” She turned and walked rapidly toward the door.
She had a right to be angry at his suggestion. He would have been disappointed if she weren’t. He could have picked up the phone and had ten women in his office within a matter of minutes, willing to do whatever he wanted. But he didn’t want any other woman. He wanted Alesha. Damn her, he always had. He didn’t want to desire her, but he couldn’t help it any more than he could help breathing. She intrigued him and he wanted the chance she had denied them both two years ago—to get to know each other better, intellectually and intimately. And, God help him, he didn’t care that he was literally blackmailing her to get that opportunity.
He knew he was treading on dangerous ground—he also knew there was absolutely nothing he could do to stop himself. He craved Alesha, and this time he was going to do whatever it took to get her and to make her admit that she wanted him, as well. He wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on why her desiring him was of the utmost importance to him.
“You’re a smart woman, Alesha.” His words halted her progress toward the door. “I think you know this is the only way to save your brother from a sure conviction and a lengthy prison term.”
She slowly retraced her steps to stand several feet away from him and tried one last time to reason with him. “Mr. Chandler…”
“Derrick.”
“Mr. Chandler.” At her refusal to use his first name, she received another one of his mocking smiles, which she had quickly grown to hate. “We’re virtually strangers. How can you expect me to marry you and become your wife in every sense of the word?”
“First of all, we are hardly strangers, Alesha. Secondly, when you grow a little older and a little wiser, you’ll realize a lot of people do things that they don’t want to do every day because their survival or the survival of those closest to them requires it.”
“Is that supposed to make your ridiculous offer easier to accept?”
“You might surprise yourself and actually enjoy being married to me.” He silently promised himself that would be the case.
She glared at him. “Never!”
“Never say never, Alesha.”
He pushed away from the desk and walked over to stand inches from her. Reaching out his hand, he trailed a finger lightly down her soft cheek, and he nearly groaned at the contact he had longed for since she had first entered his office.
She shuddered at his touch. He merely smiled before his finger moved to trace the outline of her lower lip, causing her flesh to tingle uncontrollably—and not from revulsion. His intense gaze mesmerized her and she was unable to step away, even when he removed his finger from her face. Ravenous eyes slowly, carefully studied every inch of her from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.
It was difficult to take in enough air to properly expand her lungs. Where his fingers had lightly touched, she burned and yearned for something forbidden. The spicy scent of his aftershave wafted up to her nostrils, causing her mouth to water. Despite her qualms, she wanted to be pressed close to his hard body and feel his strong arms around her.
She remembered how those lips had felt against hers and longed to see if her memories were accurate. She swayed toward him slightly, and he smiled even more, yet he made no further attempt to touch her, much to her dismay.
His inaction and her bizarre reaction to him cautioned her to get as far away from him as possible, but her limbs refused to obey the silent command. What was the matter with her? Was he hypnotizing her? Why didn’t she turn and run away?
As his eyes admired her beauty, he knew exactly how she felt—he felt the same way, too. It didn’t make any sense. This strong attraction between them was the last thing he needed, yet here it was, and he was absolutely helpless to do anything about it, except try to assuage it in hopes of finally purging it forever.
He continued his perusal, eyes moving to the soft curls of her hair, which was pulled away from her face by a clasp. He longed to free the soft tresses he knew would be smooth and silky. Her face showed the barest traces of makeup, yet her type of beauty didn’t require any artificial enhancements. Her brown eyes were distraught, her smooth brown skin begged to be touched, her lightly tinted full lips were made for kissing—an invitation he had accepted often in the past and almost consented to now. The bulky sweater she wore hid her attributes from his piercing gaze, yet he knew from experience that beneath it was a curvaceous, beautiful body that he was certain would give him the most intense pleasure.
She could barely breathe. His eyes thoroughly destroyed her equilibrium as they sensuously appraised her. She didn’t allow herself to speculate on his thoughts—knowing instinctively that they would disturb her more than his blatant perusal did. She felt hot, uncomfortable and something else she refused to put a name to.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Alesha, but then you’ve always known that, haven’t you?” His voice hardened perceptibly as his hand moved up to cup the side of her face, his lips mere inches from hers.
“How dare you!”
His condescending tone propelled her into action. She pushed his hand away from her face and moved several steps back, placing much-needed distance between them. She silently willed her wayward pulse to return to normal—impossible until she was no longer in his presence.
“You’ll find that I dare quite a lot.”
Silently, he promised himself he would taste those lips again soon enough. For, try as she might to find another way, his was the only course of action she could take to save her brother. He knew that and so did she. He was certain she would agree to his terms.
“What makes you so sure I will be around you long enough to realize anything about you?”
“Because your brother’s life is in your hands. I think you’ll do anything to save him—even marry me.”
She was tempted to tell him to go to hell and take his demented proposal with him. Unfortunately, she knew it wasn’t a question of whether she could live with his unreasonable proposal, but rather whether she could live with herself if she didn’t even try. This was the only way to save the two people she loved most in this world.
He walked back behind his desk and sat down in his chair. He knew she loved her brother and would do anything to get him out of this horrible situation—her presence here was evidence of that. However, maybe this was too high a price for her to pay. But could she live with herself if she didn’t try to help him? Could she live with herself if she did?
“If I agree to marry you, why can’t it be a marriage in name only?” To her horror, Alesha blurted out a question that made it obvious she was considering his offer.
All she had to do was take one look at him to answer her own question. Derrick Chandler was a handsome, virile man. He wouldn’t go without a woman for days, let alone months—he would never have to. Besides, their past relationship wouldn’t allow him to marry her only for show. He wanted what she had denied him—of that, she was certain.
“Alesha, I expect our marriage to be real, because that’s the way it has to be.”
“Why?” She grudgingly admitted, “You’re a handsome man. You can have any woman you want. Why me?”
“Thank you for the compliment.” He smiled. “I’m running for public office. I can’t be married to you and then be seen around town with other women.” He felt compelled to add, “And I have no intention of living the life of a monk.”
“But why me?”
“I think you already know the answer to that question.” He reclined in his chair, studying her distraught countenance.
“But…”
“I’ve got a lot of work to do.”
His statement was true. However, more to the point, he needed to get her out of his sight so that his pulse could return to normal. This reunion was more upsetting than he had anticipated. Why, after the hell she had put him through, did she make him feel like a damn schoolboy asking a girl out for a first date?
“I’ll give you twenty-four hours to decide. If I haven’t heard from you by this time tomorrow, I’ll take that as a no and contact the police.”
He was proud his voice remained steady, when he felt anything but. He lowered his head and began to study the papers on his desk once again, totally ignoring her.
She opened her mouth to try to convince him to give up this ridiculous idea, but closed it again, realizing the futility of that gambit. He had set his terms and the next move was up to her. Without another word, she turned and left, slamming the door forcefully behind her.
He leaned back in his chair and let out his breath on a loud sigh. Tense fingers loosened his tie a bit. She hadn’t left a moment too soon. Why had seeing her again affected him so profoundly? It was because he hadn’t been with a woman in a while—that was it. That had to be it.
He shook his head in satisfaction and returned his eyes to the manila folder on his desk. After a few seconds, he gave up trying to concentrate on anything other than anxiously awaiting Alesha’s return tomorrow, even though he already knew what her answer would be.
Alesha entered her mother’s home and forced herself to appear happy and carefree, even though her heart was heavy, laden with the ultimatum Derrick Chandler had just issued to her a few hours earlier. Despite the dark cloud of gloom that hung over her, she could not risk letting her mother know she was upset—her mom had already had one heart attack a year and a half ago. Alesha would make sure she didn’t find out about the events currently transpiring in her children’s lives.
“Mom?” She searched for her mother as she walked through the house, throwing her coat onto a chair in the hallway.
“I’m in here, darling.”
Following her mother’s voice, Alesha made her way toward the bedroom. Once there, she was extremely glad to see that, for once, her mother was taking her doctor’s advice, reclining in bed, though she was fully dressed.
Alesha walked over and kissed her mother’s cheek warmly before perching lightly on the side of the bed. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, darling.” Barbara Robinson smiled as her daughter eyed her carefully.
Alesha marveled at what a beautiful lady her mother was. At age fifty-six, her black hair was sprinkled with gray and was cut short, attractively framing her oval face. Alesha smiled lovingly at her and silently vowed she would do everything in her power to make sure her mother stayed healthy and happy.
“What have you been up to today, dear?”
“Just the usual.” She smiled. “Have you been following doctors’ orders?”
“Yes, dear. I’ve been behaving.” Barbara rolled her brown eyes heavenward. “Honestly, I don’t know how much more rest and relaxation I can stand.”
“Mother…”
“I know. I know.” Barbara sighed heavily and then smiled slightly.