Saving All My Lovin'

For all of her tough exterior, there was a softness in this woman that longed to come out; Sterling wanted to be the man to release it.

What kind of man had her husband been? Sterling wondered for the umpteenth time. It was clear that her ex-husband still had some kind of hold on Ann Marie. Was her reaction to the man simply one of old memories and bad vibes, or did she still care about him?

Sterling walked into the living room and saw Ann Marie standing in front of the windows. She looked so tiny and vulnerable. He decided there and then that he would make it his business to wipe her ex-husband out of her mind and, if need be, out of her heart for good.

“Dinner is served, madam,” he said in a very bad British accent.

Ann Marie turned a gentle smile on her face. Sterling’s insides shook just a little. Yes, he was going to make her forget.

DONNA HILL

began her novel-writing career in 1990. Since that time she’s had more than forty titles in print, including full-length novels and novellas. Two of her novels and one novella were adapted for television. She has won numerous awards for her work. She is also the editor of five novels, two of which were nominated for awards. She easily moves from romance to erotica, horror, comedy and women’s fiction. She was the first recipient of the Trailblazer Award and currently teaches writing at the Frederick Douglass Creative Arts Center. Donna lives in Brooklyn with her family. Visit her Web site at www.donnahill.com.

Saving all My Lovin’

Donna Hill

www.millsandboon.co.uk

Dear Reader,

Thanks for joining the ladies once again as they prove that the “forties are fabulous!”

Having the opportunity to write the PAUSE FOR MEN series allows me to explore all the aspects of my characters—Barbara, Ann Marie, Stephanie and Elizabeth—and to find new and exciting romantic adventures for them to embark upon. The real treat is to be able to showcase mature women and kick to the curb the notion that young women have all the fun.

Although my ladies do have “drama” to deal with, they find a way to make it all work out.

Stay tuned for If I Were Your Woman (Kimani Romance, February 2007), which will feature Stephanie and Tony, the decisions they must make and the obstacles that they must overcome. The other ladies will definitely be there to support Stephanie as all four women share an ever-changing future filled with adventure!

Until next time,

Donna

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 1

Ann Marie’s feet were killing her. She’d been hoofing it around on those three-inch stilettos for what felt like an eternity. What she wouldn’t give to add a couple of natural inches to her barely-beyond-five-foot height. But the agony was worth every wincing moment. The grand opening of Pause for Men was a phenomenal success.

She smiled to herself as she looked around while the last of the support staff finished cleaning up. She’d decided to stay behind until the cleanup was completed while her friends and business partners called it a night. Barbara, newly engaged and sporting a blinding diamond ring had gone on home with her young buck Michael. Steph left with her shoes in one hand and her other held by her new beau Tony. She’d caught a glimpse of Ellie tiptoeing away with her man Ron to her new apartment on the top floor of the brownstone.

She plopped down at the makeshift bar, nursing the watery remnants of her cosmopolitan. They’d done good. And it seemed as though all the unlikely folks had someone to go home to except for her. She couldn’t ever remember going home alone. Funny, how life does a three-sixty and catches you unawares. Less than six months ago, she had her own man Phil. Then her grown, married daughter Raquel pops back into her life, moves in and everything that she’d taken for granted came undone.

To add complications to her life, Terrance Bishop had reappeared, found her and Raquel after more than two decades. Terrance. God she could still see his face as if it were only yesterday. She had yet to tell Raquel that Terrance was coming to New York and wanted to see them both.

She tugged on her bottom lip with her teeth, deep in the clutches of her dilemma. Although she’d reluctantly agreed to see him, she didn’t know if that’s what she really wanted. The kind of physical and emotional power Terrance had over her…She shivered just a little. Well, she didn’t know if she could handle it, or if she wanted to.

Terrance Bishop: sexy, handsome, wealthy Island playboy; her husband, her daughter’s father, her past. Her future?

She’d been barely sixteen when she was sent by her mother to live in the Bishop household. Terrance was the oldest of four and the only boy; doted on by his parents and worshipped by his sisters. He was ten years older than Ann Marie—a big man in stature and in the parish of St. Ann in Jamaica, West Indies where he followed in the footsteps of his father Cyril in the police department.

Her mother felt that Ann Marie was woman enough to be on her own, take care of her own man. Cyril wanted his son to settle down and Ann Marie’s mother wanted her daughter out of her house. The agreement suited both parents. So Ann Marie and Terrance were married, and by the time Ann Marie was seventeen she was pregnant with Raquel.

Ann Marie was a virgin when she filled Terrance’s marital bed both physically and emotionally, naïve to the ways of the world and the ways of men and women. Terrance on the other hand felt neither obligation nor fidelity in his marriage and continued with his playboy ways. Not even the birth of his beautiful daughter changed or slowed him down or kept the numerous women from calling, knocking on their door or snickering at her when she went into town to shop.

She stayed as long as she could. Two long, life-altering years before she fled to New York without a word to anyone. She’d been here ever since.

Ann Marie put her glass down on the counter and pushed herself up from her perch at the bar. That was then. She was a big woman now, not the cowering, innocent young thing that Terrance once knew. She could handle him now—him and her emotions.

“We’re all done, ma’am.”

Ann Marie looked across the wide, sparkling wood floor. The three young women they’d hired to help serve and clean up stood in a row. Ann Marie smiled, picked up her purse and approached them.

“Thank you all, on behalf of myself and the other owners. You did a wonderful job.” She handed each of them an envelope with their payment for the night.

They smiled brightly, murmured their thanks and bounced out as if they’d just gotten up for the day. Ann Marie shook her head and chuckled. Youth, she thought. She took one last look around, shut off the lights and walked out, locking the front door behind her. She pulled in a big lungful of air and glanced skyward. The heavens were clear. The moon making its descent behind a bouquet of white cotton had an orange tinge to its edges. It was going to be a hot one tomorrow.

“Wonderful event tonight.”

She jumped, startled by the voice coming from behind her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

She stole a glance over her shoulder and looked up, clutching her purse to her chest. Her heart slowed then picked up its pace when the voice became a body.

He was dressed in what she knew was an expensive suit, tailored to fit in a midnight blue. The stark white shirt against his milk chocolate skin made her instinctively lick her lips and the barely there scent of his cologne teased and cajoled.

“I saw you earlier. I wanted to introduce myself but you were very busy.” One hand was in his pants pocket, the other at his side.

Her good sense and her voice had apparently stayed behind in the brownstone. She couldn’t think of one thing to say.

His right brow rose. “Are you okay?” He looked around then back at her.

Ann Marie swallowed. “Yes. You…surprised me, that’s all.”

“Sterling Chambers.” He stuck out his hand.

Ann Marie stared at it and finally figured out why he was pointing it at her. She placed her hand in his. “Ann Marie.”

“Nice to finally meet you.” He chuckled softly and the light from the moon bounced off his eyes.

“You were at the event tonight?” How in the hell could she have missed him?

He nodded. “Yep. It’s quite a place. I actually signed up.”

Her stomach did a little flip.

“What role did you play in it all? I got the impression that you were an important part of the evening, the way you were keeping people in line and welcoming the guests.”

She felt her cheeks grow hot, thankful for the darkness. “I’m one of the co-owners, actually.”

“I’m impressed.” He pulled in a breath. “Listen, it’s late and I know you must be beat. I wish we could have met earlier. I should let you go.”

Was he leaving? Just like that?

He reached into the inside breast pocket of his suit jacket and pulled out a card. He handed it to her. “Maybe you can give me a call sometime and we can meet in the daylight.” He smiled.

Oddly relieved, Ann Marie took the card. Sterling Chambers, Esq. She glanced up at him. “Lawyer?”

“Something like that.”

She tucked the card into her purse. “Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

She looked at him for a moment then turned and walked toward her car several feet away.

Raquel was fast asleep on the couch when Ann Marie came in. She took off her shoes and crept into the house, careful not to wake her.

Once inside her room, she quickly got undressed and washed the makeup from her face. Before getting into bed, she emptied her purse on top of her dresser.

Sterling’s card was on top of the silver compact. She picked it up, ran her finger across the slightly raised black letters. So he’d been watching her. If only she’d known. Her smile was wicked.

She sighed and put the card down. Well, if he was for real, his name would be on the new members list. She’d find out soon enough. Tomorrow was the first official day of business.

She’d get her rest tonight. She wasn’t too sure about her girlfriends, though. She got in bed and turned out the light.

Hmm, it had been months since she’d had sex. She flopped over onto her side, curled into a fetal position. Who would have ever thought that Ann Marie Dennis would be jealous that her friends were getting some and she wasn’t?

She pounded the pillow with her fist and forced her eyes closed. This drought had to end soon.

Chapter 2

Pause was scheduled to open for official business at one o’clock. The girls all promised to be there by eleven, even Barbara. She’d taken a week’s vacation from her job as a rehab specialist at the hospital to see Pause through the first few days.

Elizabeth was sitting behind the reception counter turning on the computer when Ann Marie arrived.

“Hey. You’re really early.” Elizabeth looked at the wall clock above the juice machine. “Great night last night, huh?”

“It sure was.” Ann Marie took a seat at the reception counter. She leaned toward Elizabeth. “So…how was it, chile?”

Elizabeth’s saffron complexion glowed crimson. “How…was w-hat?”

Ann Marie pursed her lips. “The boom-boom.” She grinned.

“Ann Marie!” she hissed between her teeth as if there was someone else around to hear them. “That’s private.”

Ann Marie stretched out the top half of her body across the counter and laid her head down. “Can’t I live vicariously through you?”

“What?” Elizabeth started to laugh. “You? You have got to be kidding.”

“Me stuff gon’ dry up and blow away.”

Elizabeth covered her mouth and howled with laughter. “It can’t be that bad,” she sputtered over her chuckles.

Ann Marie partially lifted her head and turned dark eyes on Elizabeth. “Worse.”

“Good morning partners,” Barbara sang, sailing through the door. Stephanie was right behind her.

“Hey everybody.” Stephanie sat down next to Ann Marie. “Too many drinks last night?” She lowered her head to meet Ann Marie at eye level.

“She says she’s all dried up,” Elizabeth said.

Barbara and Stephanie looked at each other in a millisecond of confusion. Then it hit them simultaneously.

“Ooooh.”

Barbara put her arm around Ann Marie’s shoulders. “It’ll be all right girl. The right man will come along before you know it.”

“Easy for you to say,” she grumbled. “You got a man/child and you been to the Promised Land.”

The trio broke up laughing and even Ann Marie had to join in.

“You definitely have blossomed,” Stephanie said to Barbara. “You look happy.”

Barbara blushed. “I am happy.” She turned her smile on each of her friends. “And I have to thank you all for that.”

“Us?” Elizabeth asked.

Barbara nodded. “Yes, if you all hadn’t convinced me to take a chance on Michael…” She shrugged.

Stephanie placed her hand on Barbara’s shoulder and angled her head to the side. “What red-blooded, healthy woman wouldn’t take a chance on a fine young thing like Michael? And he has money too! Girl you got it made.” She waved her hand.

“Look who’s talking,” Elizabeth piped in. “You got a little more than lucky with Tony.”

Stephanie grinned. She tossed her weave over her shoulder. “He definitely has potential.” She turned to Elizabeth, her eyes narrowing. “Did, uh, you and Ron christen your new bedroom last night?”

Elizabeth sucked in a gasp as all eyes turned on her. She lowered her gaze then looked up. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Her smile showcased every tooth in her mouth.

“I take that as a yes,” Barbara said and they all high fived, except for Ann Marie who’d retreated to a stool at the end of the counter.

She looked smaller than usual, childlike almost with her clear complexion and hair pulled back into a ponytail. Her diminutive body was clad in a form-fitting baby pink velour tracksuit and for once she didn’t have on heels. She was staring off into space and had to clear her head of its turmoil when she realized her three friends were standing in front of her.

“What’s up Ann?” Barbara, ever the mother and counsel asked in a soft voice.

Ann Marie sighed. “I feel alone. For the first time in years, me actually feel alone.” Her eyes suddenly filled, taking the trio by such surprise they didn’t know how to respond.

Tears were usually the domain of Elizabeth. Ann Marie, on the other hand, was notorious for her sharp tongue and indifferent attitude. This was a side they’d never seen.

Ann Marie sniffed hard then began fumbling in her bag for a tissue. She wiped her eyes and nose then straightened her shoulders. Drawing in a breath of resolve she looked her friends in the eye. “PM fuckin’ S.” She snickered. “That’s all. So don’t be gettin’ all gooey-eyes wit me. I’m still a bitch.” She sniffed again. “So are we here to work or hang out at the bar?”

Everyone’s smiles returned. That was the Ann Marie they recognized.

“Well, I’m going to do some Web searching and see how much coverage we got then make some calls,” Stephanie said, easily slipping on her PR hat.

“I’m going to check the equipment and make sure all the supplies are in place,” Barbara said. “As much as I’m going to love running my hands over all those male bodies, we’re going to have to get some other therapists in here other than me. If last night was any indication of the client load, we’re going to be busy.”

Elizabeth nodded, tugging on her bottom lip with her teeth, deep in thought. “I’ll put together a list of potential positions and what qualifications we’re looking for and then we can all review it later on today.”

“Sounds good,” Ann Marie said. “I’ll work on the roster for the new clientele.” And of course she’d check out Mr. Chambers in the process. She headed over to the check-in station, a horseshoe shaped black ceramic table topped with two flat-screen computer monitors, a multi-line phone, rolodex, fax and credit card machine. Beneath the counter was a three-drawer rollaway file cabinet that would contain the hardcopies of client information.

She flipped open the guest book from the previous night and one by one began to scroll through the names. There it was on page three: Sterling Chambers. Ann Marie smiled. She turned on the computer and opened up the Member database. She clicked on the Search field and typed in Sterling’s name. In a blink of an eye, all of his basic information appeared on the screen: address, phone number, cell and how he paid—American Express Platinum. When the details were complete she’d know his exact height, weight, general physical health, eye color and emergency contact name—hopefully not a spouse. This whole spa thing for men could really turn into a goldmine. It would be raining men nonstop.

“Glad to see you smiling.” Barbara set a stack of white towels on the counter.

Ann Marie’s head snapped up. “Oh.” She clicked off from the screen. “Yeah, having one of those moments.”

Barbara smiled. “Well, I better get set up. The doors will be opening soon.” She walked off.

Barbara was the one constant in the group that everyone seemed to turn to, even her. But this time she kept her little secret to herself. They’d all agreed when they’d decided on this little venture that it was only to look and not touch, to fantasize, not act on the fantasy. So the last thing she wanted her friends to think was that she was desperate and using the spa as a dating service.

The doorbell rang. Ann Marie’s heart jumped in her chest. She watched Elizabeth go to the door, held her breath and released it with a disappointed sigh when Dawne, Elizabeth’s daughter came in laden with trays of food.

“Hi!” she called out. “I’ll take these to the kitchen. Desiree is bringing the rest.” She hurried off. Desiree soon followed pushing a cart of canisters of their specially made health juices. Having two daughters that owned their own health food restaurant was paying off already.

Before long they were all too busy to think straight. Within the first two hours twenty men had come through the door. Some had come to the grand opening the night before; others were referred by those who did.

Ann Marie worked the front desk with Elizabeth registering the men and giving them a quick tour of the facilities. Everyone wanted a massage. Lucky Barbara, she thought as she keyed in the information on yet another newcomer. Her fingers felt as if they would fall off and it had barely been four hours. If this many men were available during the day what would happen after the regular work day was over?

As she worked on printing out hardcopies of client records to be filed away, Raquel walked in.

Ann Marie stopped what she was doing and stood, stretching her stiff back in the process. She would need one of Barbara’s massages at this rate.

“This is a surprise. I wasn’t expecting you.”

Raquel’s heavenly brown eyes were red-rimmed.

Ann Marie frowned. “Chile what’s wrong?”

“Why don’t you tell me, mama?”

“Look, I’m working. Me no have time for games.”

“It’s not me playing games.”

Ann Marie huffed and came from around the counter. She grabbed Raquel by the arm and spoke in a harsh whisper.

“I don’t know what burr you got up your butt, but you best change your tone and quick. Me your mum, not some friend on the street.”

“Really? Then why don’t you treat me like I’m your daughter?” Tears splashed over her cheeks.

Ann Marie looked around to see if anyone was paying attention to the drama unfolding. They all were too busy.

“Come with me.” She pulled Raquel across the room and down the corridor to the back office. She pushed the door open without knocking.

Stephanie dribbled water down the front of her blouse. “What the…” She caught the look of fire in Ann Marie’s eyes. And who could miss the tear-streaked face of Raquel? “Uh, I was just leaving. Looks like a mother daughter moment.” She picked up the file she was working on, gave them both one last look and eased out, shutting the door softly behind her.

Ann Marie whirled on Raquel, her hands planted firmly on her hips. “You want to explain what your problem is?”

Raquel drew in two short, shuddering breaths trying to collect herself. “I was on my way out, to see about a consulting job and the phone rang.”

Ann Marie suddenly felt queasy.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What?” she croaked without the bravado of moments ago.

“About my father! About the fact that he’s recently been in touch with you. About the fact that he’s planning on coming to the States and wants to see me. About the fact that you’re still married to him!”

Ann Marie lowered her defiant gaze and stepped away from her accuser. She drew in a breath and straightened to her five-foot-two-inch height. She turned to Raquel.

“I have reasons which you can’t begin to understand.”

“Tell me.”

“No! It is my business.” She poked at her chest. “You know nothing of the man. But I do.” A shiver ran through her. “I left him and Jamaica for good reasons. To protect me and you.”

“From my father?” she asked in disbelief.

Ann Marie swallowed. “From a life I could no longer endure.”

“You’re not making sense. What happened in Jamaica between you and my father?”

“I won’t discuss it with you Raquel. Now or ever.”

Raquel snickered. “That’s so like you. You have to be in control. Anything to hurt me and push me away.” Her voice shattered like a glass tossed against concrete. “And I thought we were finally getting to a place where we could be mother and daughter—after all these years.” She slowly shook her head, sniffed hard and wiped the tears away with the back of her hand. She looked Ann Marie square in the eyes. “Nothing has changed, Mama. Least of all you.”

She spun away, nearly tore the door from its frame and stormed out. She stopped halfway and tossed over her shoulder, “He said to let you know that business is holding up his plans. He’ll be here at the end of next month. And I plan to see him when he arrives.” She pushed her way passed several clients and disappeared from Ann Marie’s view.

Ann Marie slowly lowered herself into the swivel chair. In control? When it came to Terrance Bishop control never entered the equation. She covered her face with her hands and for the second time in one day she wept.

Activity at the open door drew up her head from her hands. Barbara, Stephanie and Ellie stood on the threshold. They all tried to get through the door at once. If she didn’t feel so god-awful she’d laugh at the spectacle.

She quickly wiped her eyes, but not quickly enough.

“What is going on?” Barbara asked.

“Raquel went tearing out of here like her butt was on fire,” Stephanie added.

“Are you crying?” Ellie asked in amazement.

The trio hovered over her like moths to a flame. She looked from one concerned face to another, which only caused another fresh set of tears to flow.

Barbara knelt down beside her and drew her close. “Ssssh,” she soothed. “Whatever it is, it will be all right.”