The Prodigal Son Returns

He took a deep breath, dispelling the memory.

Thoughts of Ellie swirled into his mind to take its place. She had leaned toward him, coming within inches of his chest. He could have reached out for her, pressing her slight form against him while he kissed her...but that would have ruined everything. A woman like Ellie would never put up with what the girls in Chicago begged for. He pushed the thought away.

Her arm under his hand had felt alive, firm, capable. Taking another deep breath, he tried to recapture the scent of...what? Just soap and water? Whatever it was, the memory clung to him.

Keep focused.

Bram shaved the two ends of the leather strap with his knife, shaping them to overlap each other. If he did find Kavanaugh, the last thing he needed was for someone to get in the way. The last thing he wanted was for someone to get hurt.

Taking the awl from Matthew’s tool bench, he drilled holes through the splices, lining up the shaved ends so they would overlap in a solid, smooth join.

John Stoltzfus was a good man, and he liked Bram. That was a step in the right direction. He should spend more time with him, but that would mean spending more time around Ellie and her children.

Bram rummaged in a jar for a couple rivets and fitted them into the holes.

That Susan—yeah, she was something. The way she looked up at him with those solemn brown eyes as if he was some sort of hero pulled at his heart.

He glanced through the window at the playing children again. Susan had joined the game, her light green dress and white kapp mingling with the other pastels. She laughed as she played, her face sweet and innocent.

A steel band twisted in his gut. What kind of hero could he be to a little girl?

He found Matthew’s tack hammer hanging on the wall. A sharp rap sealed the first rivet. He shifted to the second rivet but stopped.

If Ellie looked at him the way Susan did, what would he do then?

His world tilted for a brief moment, then righted. He gave his head a shake and then drove the hammer home on the second rivet.

Focus. Play the part. Lie low under his cover until his job was done, then maybe he could...what? Court her?

Forget her. That was what he needed to do. God help him if he let himself fall for the woman.

* * *

Ellie took a deep breath as she laid her hand on the knob of the Beacheys’ back door, listening to the

women’s voices on the other side. Facing Bram Lapp would be easier than stepping through this door.

“Ellie, you can do this.”

Ellie turned to see Mam’s eyes filled with understanding. The soft words gave her strength.

The crowd of chatting women parted to welcome them as the door opened. Susan clung to Ellie’s skirts as they stepped in. Ellie wished she had somewhere to hide, but it was too late. Mam had already set her pies on the table and was greeting her friends.

Annie Beachey came over to Ellie as she lingered just inside the door.

“Ellie, I’m so glad you could come!”

Ellie smiled in spite of her churning stomach. Who could resist Annie’s contagious happiness? Although how she could be so merry when she must be uncomfortable with the growing baby most of the time was beyond her.

Annie took her bonnet to the back bedroom, and Ellie stepped farther into the kitchen. Sally, her younger sister, came over and took Danny from her arms.

“I’ve missed this little man.”

Sally’s easy confidence was just the balm Ellie’s nerves needed. This might be a fun outing after all.

“Well, if you hadn’t married last fall, you could have been cuddling him all winter.”

Sally looked up from nuzzling Danny’s neck. “Ach, sister. Then I wouldn’t be looking forward to my own boppli, would I?” Sally turned to Susan. “The other children are playing out in the yard with Dorothy Ann.”

“She’ll join them soon, I’m sure.” Ellie patted Susan’s back, knowing these few minutes of shyness would soon be over.

Sally leaned closer to Ellie, lowering her voice. “I saw the way Levi Zook kept watching you a week ago at Meeting. I think he’s still sweet on you.”

Ellie’s face grew warm with embarrassment. Did everyone know about his attentions to her? “I’ve told Levi we’re not suited for each other. I don’t know why he’s so persistent.”

“I do,” said Lovina as she joined Sally and Ellie. “I heard his sister from Middlebury wants him to send his younger girls to live with her, and he’s desperate to find a new wife so he can keep his family together.”

“Ja, well, I can understand why he wants a new wife, but it’s not going to be me.” Ellie turned to greet Lovina with a smile. “We’ll be sewing for your little one next.” She nodded at Lovina’s expanding waist.

As Sally and Lovina started chatting about morning-sickness remedies, Ellie stepped back, feeling the wall that had risen between them. She and her sisters had been inseparable as girls, and her marriage hadn’t lessened that close bond. Not until the past couple years.

Now that she was a widow, and they had their husbands... She crossed her arms in front of her, hiding her slim form. She could have been expecting another baby, too, if—well, if things had been different.

Ne, she had to stop thinking this way. Things were what they were, and it was Gott’s will. A faithful, obedient woman accepted Gott’s will, didn’t she?

And if it was Gott’s will that she accept Levi Zook as her new husband? Ellie suppressed a shudder. She still believed two people should love each other if they married, and as kind and faithful as Levi was, she didn’t love him.

Ellie followed some of the other women as they moved toward the front room of the house, where Annie had arranged things for the frolic. A table was set up for cutting material, with several lengths of muslin and flannel ready to be cut into the pieces they would sew into gowns and diapers for the new baby. The room was arranged with chairs in a circle for sewing and visiting. Before long, the four women who had taken the job of cutting the material had pieces ready for sewing, and the rest of the women settled in with their needles and thread.

When Susan went off with the other children, Ellie chose a chair near her sisters, where Danny was still happy on Sally’s lap. Taking the next available diaper, one of many they would be making today, she started in on the simple hem. Over the hum of conversation, she heard Bram’s name mentioned.

“What did you say his name is?” Minnie Garber asked Annie.

“Bram—short for Abram. He’s my brother who is staying with us for a time.”

What did Annie think of her Englisch brother? Ellie hated the thought of one of her brothers jumping the fence, leaving their family and their ways behind. How would she treat them if they had left and then wanted to return?

“I didn’t know you had another brother,” Minnie went on. That woman was never shy when it came to gossip.

“Bram has been gone for quite a few years—”

“Gone?” Minnie interrupted. The rest of the room quieted as the other women listened to their conversation.

“Ja.” Annie stopped and looked around the room of women waiting to hear what she had to say. “He left home twelve years ago but came back recently. He just bought a farm and will be settling here.”

“Twelve years?” Minnie’s voice was incredulous. “Where was he all that time? Did he live in Ohio? Pennsylvania?”

“Um, ne.”

Ellie’s heart went out to Annie. It was obvious that she wasn’t interested in gossiping about her brother.

“He was in Chicago,” Annie finally said. Her words were met with silence.

“Chicago?” Minnie sounded stunned.

“Ja, but he’s home now and wants to be part of our community.” Annie looked from one face to another. Most of the women stared at the sewing in their hands, but Mam smiled at Annie, encouraging her.

Then Minnie voiced what Ellie had been thinking.

“Won’t he have trouble giving up his Englisch ways after all this time?”

“He’s shedding himself of them as quickly as he can.” Annie sounded relieved, as if she was happy to give Minnie an acceptable answer. “When I finished his new clothes yesterday, he wouldn’t rest until he had put them on.”

“And you say he bought a farm?”

“Ja, the Jackson place on Emma Road. He spent all Tuesday afternoon and yesterday tearing out the telephone lines. He’s planning to move there next week.”

One of Minnie’s daughters joined in the conversation from the other side of the circle.

“So all he needs now is a buggy and a wife!”

Good-natured laughter followed her comment, and the conversation shifted to the coming wedding of Minnie’s third daughter. Ellie concentrated on finishing the hem on the diaper, letting the conversation flow around her.

Bram was turning the Jackson place into an Amish farm? Could she have been so wrong about him? From what Annie said, he did mean to give up all his Englisch ways. If that was true, then Dat had been right all along.

Could Minnie’s daughter have been right, too, that he was looking for a wife?

She pricked her finger with the needle, and the pain brought a start of tears to her eyes.

If he was, he wouldn’t have any problems finding one. He was no Levi Zook.

But it for sure wasn’t going to be her. No man was going to take her Daniel’s place.

Chapter Six

“It was a robin. I know it was,” said Susan. She nodded to emphasize her certainty.

“It wasn’t a robin—it was a blackbird.” Johnny’s retort was tinged with disdain.

“He had red on him.”

“It was a red-winged blackbird. Robins have red breasts, not red shoulders.”

Ellie touched Johnny’s knee to quiet him before the argument gained strength. She should reprimand them, but on Sunday mornings she just wanted quiet.

The buggy swayed in rhythm to Brownie’s trotting hooves. It wasn’t as crowded now that Reuben was old enough for his own buggy. Dat had agreed he could drive it to Welcome Yoder’s for church, and now the two boys were ahead of them on the road, Reuben driving at the same sedate pace. Soon he’d be courting, if he wasn’t already, and next Benjamin. At least Mandy and Rebecca were still at home.

Ellie listened to her sisters’ chatter. She had been the same way with Sally and Lovina once, their three heads together, sharing their secrets, their dreams. Mandy and Rebecca would have the same sweet girlhood memories.

“There’s another robin!”

Johnny looked where Susan pointed. “Ne, that one’s a blue jay. See how big he is? And his blue feathers?”

Susan didn’t argue, but kept her eyes on the side of the road.

Ellie’s thoughts went back to Mandy and Rebecca. She’d had that same anticipation when she was their age. Riding to church was an adventure, with Lovina giggling about the boys they would see and Sally bouncing with anticipation of seeing her best friend again. She had looked forward to the singing, even the long sermons, and the fellowship. What had changed?

She never had the urge to kick against the restraints of the church that some people talked about. The Ordnung was safe. It provided security against the changing world. Even when her friends tried living outside the protective fence of the Ordnung during their Rumspringa, Ellie never saw the lure. She knew where she belonged.

Bram Lapp had left the community once.... What would it be like to leave her loved ones behind, to take the children somewhere and start fresh where no one knew her? The thought pressed against her heart, stopping her breath. It would be like dying. Ne, she could never leave her home, her family.

Dat turned south at the corner, and Ellie closed her eyes against the morning sun hitting her face.

She must work through this emptiness somehow. Church for her meant nothing more than a long day with a headache. The children needed tending, and every week it was harder to keep them still during the meeting. The hymns were so long, the prayers drawn out. There had been a time when the singing was her favorite part of a Sunday. Now she just waited for it to be over.

“Is that one a robin?”

“Ja, see his red breast?”

Ellie gave herself a mental shake. Her children needed her. A pasted-on smile was better than none, and a kind word to a friend could help lift her spirits. But how many more church Sundays were going to pass before the smile became genuine again?

Dat turned the buggy into the driveway of the Yoders’ farm, joining a line of other buggies. When they approached the sidewalk leading to the house, Ellie saw the buggy in front of Reuben’s stop. Matthew Beachey jumped down, then reached back to help Annie. He walked with her to the lines of people waiting to go into the house while their buggy drove on.

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