Home Free

His eyes were set deep beneath strong black brows. The skin around them creased with wear. Not smile lines. Hard-lived lines. When he searched her face, she knew he could see way too much. So she kept babbling. “I was just wondering if I should drive back out and feed them over the fence when you showed up. You saved me a lot of trouble and time.”

“But—”

“I’ve still got a lot of chores to do,” she interrupted. “I’m so glad you came along.”

“Mandy...” he tried again.

But she flashed him a plastic smile, desperate for space between them. “Boy, do I owe you! Yesterday you saved the cake, and today you salvaged my chore schedule.”

He was still intent on her, as if he could see right through her crazy. “What about the dizziness? Will you be okay?”

“I’m fine. I’ll just drink some water,” she assured him. “And try to get more sleep.” Lying didn’t come naturally. A low ache was seeping through her skull. She put the truck in gear.

“Wait,” he said. “I came by to say thank you. For sticking up for me yesterday. For the cake, too.”

“Hey, it was no problem!” Since when did she talk like someone’s hearty uncle? “But really nice of you to come by and say so. You must be really busy. So I’ll let you get on with it. Thanks, Arch!” Mandy gave a vigorous wave, and he got the message and stepped back, that mystified look still on his face. She pressed the truck’s accelerator a little too hard and it jolted her forward, adding insult to awkwardness.

Mandy steered the pickup haphazardly away from the pasture. Adrenaline coursed as if she’d just barely escaped with her survival. It was embarrassing enough being afraid of everything. It would be worse if people found out. Especially Arch Hoffman. He’d spent ten years in jail and lived a life of crime before that. He’d probably never been frightened of anything in his life. Plus, he just looked so capable. Of anything.

Mandy parked by the barn and buried the heat of her face in her hands. What was wrong with her? When would she get over her fears? And why had she lied about them, again?

The answer was obvious. She was a coward. A coward with a bunch more livestock to feed. She’d have to run along the fence like a maniac, tossing hay over at different places as fast as she could. It was risky. The cattle might push each other against the barbed wire trying to get the hay.

Later today she’d call around and see if she could find temporary workers to help out on the ranch. For now, she’d just have to survive. She knew one thing for sure—there was no way she was going into a pasture with those scary, slobbery creatures again.

* * *

ARCH WATCHED MANDY’S truck swerve away in a cloud of dust. He’d thought they’d made a connection yesterday. That maybe they’d started some kind of friendship. He’d lain awake like a fool last night, reliving that moment when she’d brought him the cake. When she’d made him feel like he mattered.

As soon as he got done with his morning chores, he’d resolved to go find her, to thank her, to let her know what her kindness had meant. He’d ridden through the gate that separated their properties with high hopes. Of what he wasn’t sure. Maybe just more of what it felt like to be near her. Because she’d seen him as a real person, not just an ex-convict. Maybe because she was beautiful, and he wanted to see that beauty again.

But when he’d found her, none of that had been there. Except her beauty, of course. That wasn’t even dimmed by her pale skin, her worried eyes or the traces of dirt on her cheek. But the warmth, the sense that she cared, were all gone. Instead she’d almost run him over, trying to get away as fast as possible. Something had changed for her completely. But what?

It hit him like a blow to the sternum. She’d gone back to the wedding reception yesterday and talked with Nora and Wade about the bad he’d done. About what a heartless brother he’d been. That was what had changed. He couldn’t blame her for trying to avoid him. If he heard those stories, he’d hate that guy, too.

Anger rose, at himself, at his choices. Anger was his lifelong companion, the cartoon devil on his shoulder. In prison, there’d been a chaplain, Pastor Doug, who’d become Arch’s mentor and friend. Doug called anger the go-to emotion, because it was the first to show up. The pastor’s words rose from memory and settled him. Stop. Identify the feelings. All of them.

Arch took a deep breath and tried to make space in his mind. There was anger, always. But there was more. Frustration that his past was coloring every moment of the present. Disappointment that Mandy wasn’t looking at him the way she had yesterday. Shame that he wasn’t worthy of anyone’s regard. Fear that he never would be.

Losing the glimmer of hope she’d offered him felt big. Truth was, he’d been hanging on to it like a lifeline. But trying to get that hope from Mandy, or from anyone, was a big mistake. The only hope that mattered was the feeling deep inside him. That small, stubborn belief that he could be a better person.

He had to remake his life on his own. And standing around here feeling sorry for himself wasn’t going to get him far.

Arch swung onto the big gelding. Funny, he didn’t even know the horse’s name. He’d seemed strong and calm. The best choice for a big guy like Arch. And they’d gotten along well so far.

He’d found a path that connected the two ranches via a big well at the top of both properties. He’d take that way home now. And along the way he’d try to put Mandy out of his thoughts.

Fall in the eastern Sierra brought cold mornings, even on sunny days. His breath was visible where the peaks cast their shadows. Arch focused on gratitude, for the chilly air in his lungs and the feel of the big horse under him. If there was a definition of freedom, it had to be this. Riding alone in the quiet of the autumn mountains. Granite boulders scattered everywhere, turning landscape into moonscape. Sagebrush clinging to the dry soil.

Arch leaned down and broke off a sprig, inhaling its earthy, rich scent. And something inside him broke open, his gratitude expanding in a warm, soaring feeling that lifted his shoulders and lightened his heart. The deepest relief. The purest joy. Elation. Because he was here in this beauty. He was home. He was free. And that miracle mattered, more than anything.

* * *

THE TRAIL WOUND lower into the deep valley that sheltered Marker Ranch. When the terrain leveled, Arch let the gelding break into a lope, loving the speed and the horse’s smooth gait. Eventually the trail became dirt road. They passed recently painted outbuildings. Mended fences. Arch slowed the horse to a walk near the newly repaired barn.

A dark blue pickup was parked alongside it. A man was leaning on the tailgate, waiting. The horse’s pace quickened, as if he recognized the visitor.

“You found trouble,” the man called.

Arch stopped the horse a few paces away. “Pardon me?”

The man stepped forward and rubbed the horse’s nose, and Arch caught a glimpse of a lean face under the brim of a worn brown felt hat. “Trouble. That’s this horse’s name.”

Arch couldn’t contain his laugh. “I always was good at finding trouble. Guess not much has changed. You must be Todd.”

“I sure am.” Todd ran a hand over Trouble’s neck and stepped back to take the big horse in. “He’s looking good.”

“He’s great to ride. I don’t know much about any of the horses. I just picked him because he’s big.”

“You picked well. He used to be wild, you know. Found him sweltering in a government corral about sixty miles south of here. He was angry as hell, so no one would adopt him. But with some time and patience, he came around.”

Arch swung his leg over Trouble’s back, his legs just a little wobbly when he hit the ground. His brother-in-law stuck his hand out and Arch took it, gratified by the firm grip. “Thanks for stopping by,” he said. “Good to meet you.”

Todd just nodded, assessing him the same as he’d done to the horse. Calm and observant. Then his glance went to Arch’s arm, where Trouble was trying to nibble at his sleeve. “Trouble likes you. So that’s a good sign.”

“He’s a good horse,” Arch said. “You did a fine job with him.”

“I gentled him, but your brother Wade trained him,” Todd said. “Trouble’s the second mustang he’s trained.”

His little brother trained wild horses. Arch was getting random pieces of the puzzle. If he put them together, maybe he could learn all he’d missed. “Well, I’ll have to compliment him, then.”

Todd gave the horse a gentle pat on the neck, but his voice was firm. “He’s put a lot of work into his horses. And into fixing up this ranch.”

“I know,” Arch told him.

“No, you don’t know, actually.” Todd stood up straighter. He wasn’t a huge guy. Tall, for sure, but still a couple of inches shorter than Arch, and lanky and lean. “You don’t know the work your brother and sister put in to clean this place up. It took months. It made them a little crazy. They’ve lived with snide comments and dirty looks because of the things you did. Things they had no part in.”

Todd didn’t need bulk and muscle. The guy was a ninja with words, cutting and slashing right to the point, leaving wounds salted with pure truth. The pain of it made Arch gruff. “You’re right. I was born and raised a complete asshole. When I got old enough, I continued that family tradition all on my own.”

“You’ve got no excuse?” Todd crossed his arms, waiting.

“Nope. I did stuff that is inexcusable. Look, Todd, I don’t have a list of reasons. I was who I was. The guy my dad taught me to be. I hate that guy, but I was that guy. In some ways I’ll never be rid of him.” The pain of it coiled in his guts.

“So what’s changed? Why should we trust you now?”

“I don’t have a good answer for that. One day I realized I didn’t want to be that guy anymore, so I turned myself in. Now I’m ready to be someone new. I’m not sure who that is, but I know he’ll be a better man than the first version.” He tried to think of a more eloquent way to put it. But all he found inside was raw regret. “That’s all I got.”

Todd looked at him thoughtfully. “I knew I’d like you,” he said.

“What?” If Todd had started speaking a foreign language, Arch wouldn’t have been more surprised.

“When Nora came back into the reception yesterday and told me you were back and that you’d turned yourself in, I knew I’d like you. I’m glad you don’t have excuses. If you did, you’d just be avoiding responsibility.”

Arch stared at his brother-in-law in shock. They were okay? Just like that? “I promised Nora and Wade they’d have nothing to regret by taking me in. I mean to keep that promise.”

“I think you do,” Todd said. “And I think you will. But if you don’t, I’ll have to kick you out. Got it?”

“Got it.” He’d never met anyone as straightforward as this. It was refreshing.

Todd ran a hand down Trouble’s neck. “He doesn’t seem too warm, and he’s definitely not tired. Let’s take a ride through the ranch. If you have any questions, maybe I can answer them.”

Arch nodded. “Sure. I have a lot of questions.”

“I’ll just go grab a horse, then.” Todd stepped into the tack room just inside the barn door and came back out with a halter and rope in hand.

“You need any help?” Arch called.

“Nah. I got it. I helped train them all, so it’s like visiting relatives.” Todd shot Arch a grin. “Only maybe not quite so complicated as that. Be right back.” He jogged down the lane that led to the pasture.

Arch led Trouble over to a trough by the barn wall so the gelding could grab a drink. Leaning on the big horse’s flank, he tried to take in his day so far. A roller coaster. He’d lost his connection with Mandy but gained a new one with Todd. Mandy had lost faith, but Todd might actually believe in him.

Pastor Doug had reminded him over and over again that freedom wasn’t some magical cure for everything. That it would be up and down, sometimes smooth and sometimes rough. That some people would accept him and some would turn their backs. It was only his first full day home, but Arch was seeing the truth of the pastor’s words.

He thought of Mandy driving away from him as fast as she could, and something in his chest ached. He knew he was lucky to have met Doug and to have learned so much from him. But sometimes he wished that his teacher wasn’t right quite so often.

CHAPTER FIVE

ARCH SIFTED THROUGH Wade’s collection of screws and bolts, all neatly labeled, none the size he needed. One of the gates was falling to pieces, and Todd had put the repair job at the top of Arch’s to-do list when they toured the ranch together yesterday. Arch picked up a half-inch bolt and studied it. Maybe he could make it work. But it was hard to focus, because he was still worried about Mandy.

His disappointment from yesterday had faded, and intuition had replaced emotion. Intuition deep down, telling him something was wrong. That it wasn’t just him she’d been fleeing in her truck yesterday. And with her on the ranch alone, it was easy to imagine what that something might be. Maybe a ranch hand was giving her trouble now that her sister and Wade were away. Or maybe she was ill and didn’t want to see a doctor for some reason.

But she’d made it clear that she didn’t want his help. So who should he tell? Todd was the obvious person. Arch set the bolt back in its compartment. He’d go to town. Stop by Todd’s repair shop and share his concerns about Mandy. Then he could get the right-size bolts from the hardware store, too.

Arch folded his list, shoved it in the pocket of his jeans and headed for the house. After a quick wash and a change of shirt, he grabbed the keys to Wade’s old pickup. And stopped, staring at them lying so innocent in his hand. He had no license. Getting out of jail meant starting from scratch.

His heart rate picked up a few extra beats. He shouldn’t be driving. He’d be breaking the law. Violating parole.

He went to the old rotary phone in the hallway and picked up the receiver. But there was no dial tone. Of course. No one had been living here lately. It made sense they’d turn off the service to save money.

He jangled the keys in his palm. Mandy might be in trouble. The buzz of worry drowned out his concerns. The road to town went through open country. Then he’d just have to make it a few blocks in town to Todd’s shop. It would be fine. It had to be.

In the truck, a few jarring stalls in first gear reminded Arch that he hadn’t driven in ten years. He took a couple of laps, steering the old Chevy around the barn and down the lane to the lower pastures before he three-point turned in jerky motions and headed toward the road.

Driving through open country was easy, but Todd’s repair shop was near downtown Benson, and each landmark Arch passed was an uncomfortable reminder of old mistakes.

First there was the bridge just outside town, where he and his adolescent buddies had smoked and made trouble. They’d throw nails in the road to pop tires, stupid stuff like that.

Then he passed the liquor store, where his underage bulk and bullying had made Mr. Howell so nervous, he’d sold him alcohol without an ID.

Almost to Todd’s shop, Arch caught a glimpse of the back lot behind the outdoor store. The place he’d beat the crap out of Will Barkley for just looking at Arch’s girlfriend Kit. Then left him bleeding in the dust.

Shame stole his senses. He pulled over. He lived with a dormant monster inside him. A punk-kid monster who’d thought nothing of hurting another person.

And Kit. He hadn’t thrown any punches at her, but he’d inflicted pain. The kind that came from walking away from a five-year relationship without even a goodbye. He’d told himself it was for her own good. If she didn’t know where he was, the police couldn’t pin anything on her. But the truth was, he could have called, or left a note. He’d been too much of a coward to face her sadness.

He looked around the deserted street, as if he might see Kit walking right by. But what was he thinking? She’d been fiery, determined to get the hell out of Benson and see the world. No way was she still around town. Which was good, because he didn’t know how he’d face her. One more relationship he’d destroyed. One more mess that I’m sorry could never clean up.

Arch swiped damp palms down his jeans. He had to stay in the present. Mandy might need help. That was the reality, what he needed to focus on. He put the truck back into gear and pulled carefully away from the curb. He could find a few hundred bad deeds to regret in this town. But that would have to wait for another day.

Todd’s shop appeared on his left. Arch avoided the gravel parking lot, pulling the truck to the curb instead. He’d have to face local folks sometime, but he’d rather not do it trying to remember how to park between other cars.

A man in a straw cowboy hat was slouching on a bench just outside the shop. He stood when he saw Arch crossing the street. And Arch’s blood curdled. Connor Purcell.

Arch’s hands coiled automatically. He willed them to straighten. They weren’t kids anymore, and fists wouldn’t help here.

Connor shifted to block the entrance to Todd’s shop. His Ken-doll looks were puffy around the edges now, but he had the same mean glint in his baby blues. “What the hell? Arch Hoffman?” He pulled a phone out of his pocket. “I guess I need to call the sheriff so he can finally arrest you.”

Arch stopped where he was. If he got too close, he might throw a punch, just for old times’ sake. Connor was the son of a rich rancher, and when they were kids he’d made it a point to taunt Arch at every turn, mocking his old clothes, his too-long hair, his poverty. He’d kept the insults coming until freshman year of high school, when Arch had grown about a foot and started working out. And broke Connor’s nose.

“Didn’t expect to run into you at a repair shop, Connor.” Arch kept his voice casual. “Didn’t realize you even used machines—don’t you worry that they’ll get your pretty hands dirty?”

Connor stared at him blankly. He’d never been one for complex thoughts. If there wasn’t a straightforward insult coming at him, he got a little stuck. Arch smiled at the thought, which evidently unnerved Connor further, because he muttered, “I’m calling the sheriff,” and pawed at his phone.

“Go ahead,” Arch offered mildly. “Have him come over. I’d like to meet him.”

Connor flopped back onto the bench with the phone to his ear, calling his bluff. Well, Arch had to make himself known to the sheriff sometime this week, so in a way Connor was helping him with that errand. Though he was glad he’d parked Wade’s truck across the street. He’d been an idiot to drive. But... Mandy. That same urgency gripped him. He stepped into the shop. “Todd, you here?” he called. “It’s Arch. Arch Hoffman.”

He heard the grinding of wheels across cement, as if Todd had been somewhere under the big tractor Arch could see in the back of the building. And then his brother-in-law emerged from the gloom of his shop, wiping his hands on a rag he pulled from his back pocket.

“Arch.” His friendly expression changed to concern when he saw Connor’s scowling face behind him. “Is there a problem here?”

“Connor’s upset about me being here in town. So he’s calling the sheriff.” Arch kept it matter-of-fact.

“Oh!” Todd looked at Connor, who was apparently on hold. “Arch is my brother-in-law. He’s welcome here.”

Connor shook his head. “You don’t know him. He’s nothing but trouble. He’s been hiding from the law down in Mexico. If he’s here, justice can finally be done.”

Arch smiled a little. He couldn’t help it. The universe must have a hell of a sense of humor to make Connor Purcell his Benson welcoming committee. “Hey, it’s okay,” he assured Todd, who was looking pretty uncomfortable. “When I first decided to come back here, I was afraid I’d get run right out of town. So this is good. You know what they say about facing your fears head-on.”

Todd’s lean face creased into smile lines. “You’re not worried?”

“I’m pretty sure my parole officer already gave the sheriff a heads-up that I’m here.” Arch glanced at Connor, who was spouting indignant words into his phone. “Look, can I talk to you about something? Privately?”

“Sure.” Todd led him across the parking lot, stopping out of Connor’s earshot.

Arch explained about Mandy’s behavior the day before. How it had been bothering him ever since. “In jail I learned to trust my gut when I felt like there was a problem. And something definitely wasn’t right with Mandy yesterday.”

Todd looked at him carefully. “Huh. Seems like she’d have called me if she needed anything. But if you’re worried like you say...” He trailed off. Shook his head. “I can’t go out there. Not now. I’ve got Connor breathing down my neck to get this tractor going again. The job’s taking longer than I thought it would, and he’s decided to stay put until I finish.” He glared at the rancher. “I guess he feels like I’d slack off without his imposing presence.”

Arch couldn’t help but chuckle. “Yeah, he’s always been real helpful like that. He spent junior high gluing my locker shut and pouring soda on me at lunch.”

“I imagine you gave him a run for his money eventually,” Todd said.

“Well.” Arch grinned at the memory. “The tires on the fancy truck his daddy bought him for his sixteenth birthday had the strangest habit of going flat every Thursday like clockwork.” He shook his head in mock wonder. “It was the damnedest thing.”

Todd laughed and clapped him on the back. “I would have liked to see that.” Then he sobered. “Look, I’m gonna need you to go out there and check on Mandy. Can you do it? I doubt I’ll be out of here until feeding time tonight. My horses will get a late supper as it is.”

Arch recalled Mandy’s fake smiles and hasty retreat. “I don’t know if I can help. She doesn’t seem to like me very much.”

“Mandy?” Todd shook his head. “Nah. She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever met. I’m sure it’s nothing personal.”

“When I stopped by yesterday, she couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

“Maybe you just make her a little nervous,” Todd said. “You’re a big guy, fresh out of prison, and let’s just say your reputation precedes you. As our friend the sheriff’s speedy arrival demonstrates.” He pointed to the patrol car pulling into the parking lot, lights flashing. “C’mon. Let’s get this over with.”

Todd walked toward the car and Arch fell into step next to him. “Just tell Mandy I sent you,” Todd went on. “And that you’re there to make sure she’s all right.”

“Will do.” Arch tried to ignore how much he wanted to see Mandy again. He didn’t expect her to smile at him like she had the day they met. But at least he’d find out if she was okay. It would be good to ease this worry that plagued him.

They were near the sheriff’s car now, and Arch swallowed hard. Those flashing lights set every cell in his body on edge.

“Deputy.” Todd shook hands with the man who stepped out of the car. “Thanks for coming by. Though I think you’ve been called out here for nothing. One of my customers was just a little concerned to see that my brother-in-law is back in town.”

The man looked straight at Arch, and Arch’s stomach turned. Patrick Norris. Connor’s best bud and partner in crime in high school. Now deputized.

“Well, look who’s crawled back to town.” The deputy’s voice was rich with menacing glee. He glanced at Connor, who was approaching eagerly. “He’s been giving you trouble?”

“No, he hasn’t.” Todd spoke before Connor could get a word in. “Connor got upset the moment Arch set foot on my property. But Arch has as much right to be here as any of us.”

Deputy Norris stuck out his chest enough to strain the buttons on his uniform. Arch could see the bully’s gleam in his eye. The deputy was loving this moment of power, and it was clear he was going to make the most of it. “With all due respect, Todd, you weren’t around back when Arch and his family wreaked havoc in this town. So I’ll ask you to step away while I deal with him.”