Her mom was gone, and the twins were women now. Danica had her own twin daughters. Even little Sammi, who had barely been in school when she left, was now in her twenties and helping run the lumberyard.
Eyes closed, she focused on her body and took deep breaths, pulling in all wayward thoughts. She rotated her foot to evaluate the pain of the injury. Hopefully it wasn’t anything that damaged her recovery. A cold chill climbed up her spine. The last thing she needed was another surgery. Adrian had left. His warm touch no longer working on her knee.
The sputtering of water forcing air through old rusted pipes brought her attention back to the present.
Adrian held a bowl at the sink. “After tending that cut, we’ll get your knee washed up. Then I’ll try and get the mud out of your hair. You must have taken some fall. Was it after or before the rescue?” His shoulders bunched and moved as he rinsed out the bowl and filled it with water. She’d been impressed by the way he snapped the chain and took charge. He might not be riding bulls any longer, but he was still a man of action. He turned. “Do you know if there are any blankets we can trust?”
The rain hit the tin roof. Talking took energy and focus she didn’t have right now. “I haven’t been here since I was eight.”
“That’s a shame. It’s a great place. There’s always someone trying to buy it from your dad or lease it, but rumor has it he won’t even talk about it.”
“The twins and I actually own the ranch. It’s been in my mom’s family for five generations and Dad didn’t want any problems with Sheila, so he made sure to put it in our names.” One of the many things that had made Sheila mad.
He pulled another chair up next to her and carefully wiped at her arm. “That turned out to be a smart idea. This seems like a perfect place for you. One of the highest cliffs in the county is on the far corner of your property. There are rumors of caves, and you have one of the best parts of the river running right through it. It’s too rough and small to really run cattle, but you could have your own private adventure park.”
“One problem. I’m leaving Clear Water as soon as possible.”
“I used to have that goal.” He shrugged and winked. “But God had other plans for me, better plans.”
She tried to stop him by placing her hand over his. Despite the cold, his skin warmed hers. His fingers were long and surprisingly graceful. The calluses kept them from looking pampered. “Working man hands” was what her dad called them. “You don’t have to do that.”
“No, but I’m not going anywhere, and it’s much more efficient for me to take care of it.” He scooted the chair down and removed the brace. “So what did you name your new baby?”
For a second her gut twisted, and she wondered how he knew. The deer. He was talking about the fawn. “I thought men talked less than women.” She certainly didn’t want to talk about babies.
“Now there you go, stereotyping me.” He grinned at her.
She almost laughed. When was the last time a man teased her? He might actually be flirting with her, and it was nice. He pressed on the bottom of her knee.
Her jaw locked, and she took a sharp breath in through her nose. She would not cry out. Gaze on the ceiling, she avoided looking at her injury. If she needed another surgery to repair the damage her run at freedom caused, she might actually cry. She never cried. She was tough. It was just mind over matter.
Adrian used the warm cloth to wipe the mud away. His touch surprisingly gentle. He and his twin brother had been a few grades behind her. Everyone joked that her sisters, identical twins, should date the identical twin boys. She remembered him being charming and a favorite with teachers and students. Known as the wild twin, he was the next big thing in the bull-riding world.
At a young age, he had already won two high school state titles and everyone knew when he turned eighteen he would take the PBR by storm.
“How did you go from superstar bull rider to a cowhand for Childress?”
“I haven’t been on a bull since I was seventeen. God had better things in store for me.”
“What happened? From what I remember, you were a natural. I saw you ride several times. Once, we drove down to San Antonio to watch you.” The blood rushed at the memory of watching him ride, one hand in the air as the massive bundle of muscles, horns and hooves went into a spin. “It was amazing. The bull was huge and mean. Even the way you jumped off stuck in my brain. I think you were sixteen. Why did you stop? Were you hurt?”
He looked at her face. The gold flecks in his dark eyes flashed, making him look younger. “You drove to San Antonio to watch me ride?”
She nodded. “A group of us.”
With a grin, he went back to work on her leg. He gave a half laugh. “Being hurt is part of the game. What stopped me from riding was my daughter.”
“What? You said you stopped at seventeen.” There was no way she had heard him right.
He sighed and finally looked up from working on her knee. “Not my finest moment, but I can’t regret it. I’m surprised you hadn’t heard the gossip. I’m pretty sure the whole Southwest knew about my fall from grace. I was the example worried mamas used to warn their kids that might stray.” He broke eye contact and went back to her injury. “Mia was born the end of my junior year. My mom said if I was serious about raising my daughter she’d help me, but I had to leave the rodeo.”
Maybe if her mom had been alive, things would have been different for her own senior year. She thought back to the girls at their school. “Is her mother a local or did you meet her at a show?”
“Do you remember Charlotte Walker?”
“Yeah. She was new in town, and...anyway. So you gave up your bull riding to get married and raise a family?”
A noise that might be described as a laugh sounded from his throat, but it lacked any humor. “No. Never got married. Being a mother was not in Charlotte’s plans. She wanted to give Mia up for adoption. She left us and went on with her life as if Mia never happened.”
Nikki fought the instinct to defend the teen mother, but she knew it wasn’t Charlotte she was protecting. It was her own ugly past. She never, ever thought about the son she’d walked away from. She couldn’t.
Tommy hadn’t been willing to even acknowledge her in public. She bit the inside of her cheek hard and kept her gaze trained on Adrian’s hands. She couldn’t risk looking at him.
Twisting the cloth, he dunked it back in the water. “But it worked out fine. I don’t have any regrets when it comes to my daughter.”
He went on as if he hadn’t taken her to the darkest places she worked so hard to avoid and keep buried.
“Mom always hated that I rode bulls. I think she was secretly happy to have that leverage over me. I got a job and finished high school.”
Nikki didn’t know what to say. “Wow.” Okay, that was lame. “You went to work for Dub Childress?”
“I only started working horses for him part-time about a couple of years ago. I thought Mia was old enough for me to be back in the arena. Not bulls, but with horses. I really missed that part. I volunteer with the youth rodeo and horse club.” A throaty laugh made her nerve endings tingle. “Can you believe I’m the 4-H dad? Life takes us to strange and wonderful places we never even knew we wanted. I don’t really miss the bulls.”
She imagined he missed it more than he would ever admit. Did he say it to remind himself the way she had to remind herself she was tough and better off alone? After a few minutes of silence, he looked back up at her and grinned.
“George and I have a construction company. We started doing odd jobs, but found we’re really good at restoring old homes. Next week we might actually start a job for your dad. Your sisters wanted to remodel the upstairs of the hardware store for some time now.” He stood. “But you probably knew that already. Everyone has different ideas, and your dad always said no to the project. He asked us to come by Monday and give him an estimate. He has a firm budget, so we aren’t sure what we’ll be able to do.” Taking the bowl to the sink, he dumped the dirty water and refilled it.
“No, I didn’t.”
He turned and leaned against the counter with his hands braced on the edge. He reminded her of one of her grandmother’s odd sayings. That man is a tall drink of water. She’d never understood what it meant until now.
He turned back to the sink and rinsed the cloth. Finished, he started walking to her, an easygoing smile marking long dimples on his cheeks. Her pulse kicked up a notch. “I’m fine. Everything’s clean. You can go.”
Thunder and lightning gave her sentence an exclamation mark.
“Are you kicking me out into the storm?”
She didn’t want to feel better because of his smile or that he was nice to her. If he knew the truth, it would all change. “The rain should let up soon. Why were you on the ranch anyway? My father gets nasty about people trespassing. At least he used to.”
“Still does. Riding the fence, I found a section down. The storm hit while I was checking to see if any of our cattle had wandered over to your land.”
He walked toward her and she narrowed her eyes. What was he going to do now? Whenever anyone was this nice to her, they wanted something. “You could wait on the porch or check on your horse. What about the fawn? Should we make sure she’s all right?”
“You have twigs and mud tangled in your hair. Let me help you at least get the pieces of tree out of your scalp. What happened out there anyway?”
“What do you know about hair?” She knew she sounded snarky, but the thought of him coming closer set her nerves on edge.
He didn’t slow down. “I’m a single dad of a ten-year-old girl. You’d be amazed how much I know about hair.”
Standing behind her, Adrian started pulling out random debris that she had collected on her downhill slide. Soft tugs on her scalp actually soothed her. So he was going to ignore her hints to leave. She closed her eyes. “You’re really good at this.”
“A perk of having an active ten-year-old daughter. I know how to untangle the biggest mess without pulling out any hair.” He moved to the other side and his fingers started at the base of her neck. “Mia has long curly hair that’s incredibly thick. I try to keep it braided or at least in a rubber band. One time while we were shearing my dad’s angoras, I found her in the middle of a pen full of mama goats and their kids. They had nibbled her hair all the way up to her shoulders.”
Even the steady rhythm of his voice lured her to relax and trust him. “Was she upset?”
“No. She’s a great kid. She laughed and said she needed a haircut anyway.” His fingers ran through her strands one more time. “Sorry, I tend to talk about her too much.” Rich sounds of laughter danced across the forgotten family retreat. “She gets a little put out with me, but that’s my job, right? So how are we going to get you home? I don’t think you’re in any shape to ride a horse. Do you have a phone? Mine’s dead, and I don’t see a landline here. I’m sure your dad’s worried.”
“I think my dad stopped worrying about me a long time ago.”
“Dads never stop worrying. My dad still tells me what I should be doing, how to do it and what I’m doing wrong. Can’t imagine giving up that card for Mia either.”
Giving him a light shrug, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. So Adrian was the perfect father. Great, just what she needed—another reminder of all the ways she had messed up her life. Let me count the ways. “I’ll just wait until the storm passes. Then I’ll walk back to town.”
“That’s about ten miles from here. I can’t believe you biked this far on that knee. Not gonna happen, and I’m not leaving you here alone. So do you have a phone on you?”
“You have to push through the pain if you’re going to make any gains.” She crossed her arms.
He mirrored her and leaned to the side, shifting his weight to his left leg. He didn’t say another word, just stared at her, waiting for an answer.
“You’re not giving up, are you?” She had to respect his quiet tenacity.
“Nope.”
“Fine. I didn’t bring one because I didn’t want anyone to find me, but there should be an old landline in the office behind the stairs. And yes, I might have overdone it on the knee.” With the same swagger he had as a bull rider, Adrian cut across the room. Back in school, even the older girls would sigh when he walked past in his Wranglers.
Palms pressed against her face, she blocked the sight. She had no business noticing his swagger. Eye candy was not her thing. It just got a girl in trouble.
Back in high school, Tommy had been all smiles and charm wrapped up in a good-looking package. She wanted to be loved so bad she believed his lies. Then in Arizona, sweet eye-candy Mike captivated her and convinced her he was ready to take on an adventure as long as she was there. Look where that got her. Both men almost destroyed her.
She had one goal. Get healthy and get back to the Grand Canyon. Well, that was two, but the one thing she knew for sure: Adrian De La Cruz needed to stay out of her head. She didn’t worry about her heart. It was already gone.
Chapter Two
Adrian tossed the trashed bike into the back of Mr. Bergmann’s truck. The rain had moved east and now humidity sat heavy on his shoulders as he stood at the driver’s door. “Mr. Bergmann, I’ll get the fence repaired before the weekend is out.”
“Appreciate it, Adrian. And thanks for helping Nicole.” He cut a glance to his daughter. “She shouldn’t have even been out here. It’s too hazardous, and with her bashed-up knee she could have gotten herself killed. This place is dangerous.” With the sigh of a frustrated father, he looked back at Adrian. “I thank God you were out here.”
Arms crossed over her chest, she rolled her eyes. “I can take care of myself. No one had to save me, Daddy.” She sighed and leaned forward. “Adrian, thank you. I’m grateful you were here. I’m just... Let me know if there is anything I need to do for the fawn.”
He understood her frustration. Needing help was never a fun place to be in when you were used to taking care of yourself. “No worries—we’ve got her. You can visit anytime you like. Consider it an open adoption.” He chuckled. “Glad I was here. Hope there’s not too much damage to your knee.”
The diesel engine roared to life. Bergmann tipped his Montana Brand tools baseball cap. “I’ll see you at the store Monday if not before.”
Adrian gave a slap to the door and stepped back. He waited for them to disappear around the curve before heading to the shed. With a hind leg cocked, Zeta looked to be sound asleep. “Hey, wake up, lazy. We’ve got a fence to fix.” After calling Nikki’s dad, he had called George to let him know he’d be late to dinner.
Ears forward, she raised her head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were just waiting on me.” After checking the gear, he picked up the fawn and tucked her inside his duster, close to him. “We have a guest, so mind your manners.” He let the horse smell the baby deer then patted her withers before swinging up into the saddle. With a nudge of his knees, they started down the dirt road at a more leisurely pace than a few hours ago.
At the downed fence, he saw a Childress work truck with the cutting-horse logo on the side. His brother, George, pulled fencing from the back. Mia started jumping and waving.
She was trying to jump, anyway. She looked a bit awkward with the new brace. He’d be so happy when he didn’t have to see a brace again. Mia’s gear looked twice as long as Nikki’s. She never did tell him what kind of injury she suffered.
“Mia, careful. We just got your cast off. Where’re your crutches?” Dismounting, he dropped the reins to the ground. “You shouldn’t have brought her out here. She’s going to end up back in the wheelchair.”
“Hey, you were the one who left her at school without calling, so don’t lecture me, little brother. Anyway, I remember someone with a busted ankle refusing to use his crutches.” George and Mia moved to the fence. She carried the fence ties as she limped next to his twin. “Then you cut the thing off so you wouldn’t miss another ride. She’ll be fine, Papa Bear.”
Adrian popped his jaw. He was not in the mood for his brother’s ribbing. He moved to the back seat of the Silverado 2500 and used a blanket to wrap the sleeping fawn. He’d surprise Mia with it on the way back to the ranch. “My injury was different. She’s a ten-year-old girl and could get hurt again.”
“You need to relax. What has you so uptight? What are you doing in the truck?”
“Nothing. And you’re not a father, so you don’t get it.”
George stopped what he was doing and straightened. “I can’t believe you said that to me. Are you looking for a fight? Because I can give you one right here and leave you in the mud, little brother.”
Mia rolled her eyes. “Tío George, it’s okay. He just freaks out easily since I fell off the horse. It all worked out. And, Daddy, if I sit at home any longer I’ll scream. Please don’t get mad at Tío.”
“You didn’t just fall off your horse. You were dragged across an arena.”
George narrowed his eyes and scrutinized his twin. Adrian glared back for a moment, but quickly turned away, studying the blue sky that had been heavy and threatening an hour ago. If anyone could see his discomfort over seeing Nikki again, it would be his twin. “Weather changes fast around here.”
“Sure.” George started unrolling the wire. “Hold this, mija. Changing the subject won’t work. When you called you said the oldest Bergmann sister was hurt. Didn’t know she was back in town. Still as stunning as when she was in school?”
Adrian scowled at his brother then back to his daughter. Was his brother that dense to talk about women in front of Mia? He followed the glare with a shrug. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. She was hurt, and I helped her. She’s in a brace too, and was doing stuff she shouldn’t have been doing.” He took the coiled wire fencing from Mia. “Go put the tailgate down and sit with the dogs. The ground is too wet and uneven for your injured leg.”
“Daddy! Tío said I could help.”
“Go or I’ll have your tío take you home.”
With a heavy sigh, she limped back to the truck. Beast and Belle, George’s blue heelers, got excited and sat next to her. Those were the kind of names you got when a six-year-old girl named your dogs. She hugged the pair and let them lick her. He sighed.
Now she’d probably name any new dogs after some boy-band crush. She was growing up too fast, and there was nothing he could do to stop the changes.
He checked his watch. Sitting still was hard for Mia. Who was he kidding? He’d go crazy not being able to work. He knew she thought he was too stern, so did his brother, but he couldn’t deal with her being hurt again. “How about I take you to the store when we finish? You can get a couple of new coloring books and markers. I need to pick up some groceries anyways.”
Her face lit up. “Thank you, Daddy!”
When she smiled, he automatically felt guilty for being upset with her. Seeing Nikki all grown up, but hurt and refusing help, had put him in a bad mood.
Tuesday, they had the first physical-therapy session with the new brace. The therapist only came to Clear Water twice a week. Nikki would probably be there.
He sighed and pulled the wire tight. The high school girl he obsessed over no longer existed. Life had taken them in different directions. She took on the world, and he was happy living within the borders of Clear Water, raising his daughter.
* * *
“Nikki, don’t be stubborn. I can cancel my appointment and go to The Mercantile for you.” Her father kept looking straight ahead. He hated conflict and would avoid it at all cost.
She pushed the door open. “I just need a few things. I can walk over to the hardware store when I’m finished. I need to work out the kinks.”
The muscle in his jaw popped. “It’s the walking part I’m worried about.” The wrinkles at the edges of his eyes and the gray in his hair marked the time she had been away. If she allowed herself to put a number to the years, she might start crying...and never stop. So many regrets that couldn’t be undone.
“I’ve got this, Daddy. I’m used to being on my own.”
“You are not alone. You’ve never been alone. We’ve been here the whole time, waiting. I never asked you to leave. I...” He took a deep breath. “I understood why you left, but once your stepmother was gone, why didn’t you come back? The door was always opened for you.”
“Sheila was never any kind of mother, step or otherwise.” This was exactly the reason she never came home. Adjusting her ponytail, Nikki pulled it tight. “I know I would be welcomed home. I just needed to move on from Clear Water.” She jerked the handle harder than necessary and stepped out onto the golf-ball-sized gravel. “If you don’t leave now you’ll be late, and a Bergmann is never late. Love you.”
As she tried to walk away with a straight spine, the uneven concrete steps slowed her down. She paused on the top one. She had never been good at being truthful with herself.
It was not the four lopsided steps that stopped her, but the thought of going in the store and seeing people she hadn’t seen in years. Maybe she should have let her dad go for her so she could keep hiding in the house.
A couple more steps and she forced herself to open the glass door. The tiny bell rang and the few people in the store turned and looked at her before going back to their business, everyone except Victoria Lawson. Well, Miller since she married Tommy. Barbed wire tightened around her spine.
Vickie was one of the people she didn’t want to see. The one person she never dreamed would be working in a small-town grocery store. The one person she owed the biggest apology to. She didn’t think Vickie even knew. Maybe she had been wrong keeping silent. At the time, she thought telling everyone would just cause more hurt all around.
The former head cheerleader and class president came around the counter and hugged her. “Nikki Bergmann, it’s great seeing you. Danica told me you were in town. Welcome back.” In high school, she’d been the perfect girl dating the perfect quarterback. There was a petty, dark part of Nikki that was disappointed her secret high school rival was still as beautiful, maybe even more so. Last she heard, Vickie and Tommy were at Baylor University together and had a son a year after she had her... Stop it, Nikki!
Shifting from one foot to the other, she tried to come up with something polite to say. People made small talk. It was normal. Be normal.
She hated chitchat. Forcing a smile, she returned Vickie’s hug then stepped back. “Thank you. So you and Tommy moved back to Clear Water?”
“Where have you been? I can’t believe your sisters didn’t tell you. I moved back to Clear Water without Tommy. We’re divorced and he’s, well... He’s not around.”
For a moment, her brain shut down. Not a single neuron fired. “Oh, I...I’m sorry.”
Vickie laughed. “Don’t be. Jake Torres and I are married now. Coming back was the best thing that ever happened to me. Maybe God has something great in store for you too.” She smiled, a real smile, not the smirk she used back in high school. “I finally got smart. So what brought you in today?” She glanced down at Nikki’s leg. “Anything I can get for you?”
“I just need a cart.” She tried smiling again, but it felt tight. Between the pain traveling from her leg to her spine, and the emotions of guilt, her lungs burned from the lack of air. Vickie was married to Jake, not Tommy. All the horrible feelings when she was a teenager started crowding out the person she worked hard to become while she was away from Texas. Another reason she didn’t want to ever step foot in Clear Water again.
The wood floors under her feet had to be over a hundred years old. How many people had walked through here, taking care of their families? People that didn’t run away. She needed painkillers. She needed them over an hour ago.
Vickie brought a small wobbly wheeled shopping cart over to her. Leaning into it, Nikki almost cried from the relief of taking pressure off her leg.