Sophie's Path

Sophie was struck by the emptiness of the place. There was hardly any furniture. In the study alcove was a desk, chair and computer. A printer and a small television set. There were no sofas, chairs, tables or lamps in the living room and no dining table. Just bar stools. The condo’s kitchen was a cook’s dream, with a six-burner gas stove, double convection ovens, dishwasher, a double-wide Sub-Zero refrigerator, a six-foot-tall wine cooler with glass doors and yards of granite countertop. However, except for an espresso machine and a commercial-grade juicer, there was nothing on the counters. No knickknacks, no canisters. It was as if he’d just moved in, but she didn’t see packing boxes anywhere.

Obviously, Jack put all his energy into his business and his employees. He hadn’t done much for himself at all. In that way, they were very much alike.

Jack lumbered over to one of the bar stools and sat down. He rubbed his injured ankle and then put his elbows on the tortoiseshell granite countertop. “So. I’m good. You can leave.”

Sophie stuck her hand on her hip. “I’m going as soon as you eat something.”

He shook his head. “Will this nightmare never end?”

Sophie went to the stainless steel Sub-Zero refrigerator and opened the door. The shelves were filled with carrots, turnips, kale, spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, lemons, limes, apricots, peaches and berries. She saw almond milk, coconut milk, protein powder, protein shakes and an entire shelf of vitamins.

“You keep your vitamins in the fridge?”

He slid his arms across the counter and laid his head on them. “Just give me one of my power drinks.”

Sophie clucked her tongue as she pulled out a vanilla shake and popped the pull tab. She handed it to him. “There’s no garlic in that refrigerator.”

“I don’t like garlic,” he said, taking the drink and chugging it.

“What kind of guy doesn’t like garlic? Every Italian dish my grandmother taught me has garlic. It’s a food group all its own.”

He slammed the can down on the counter. “I don’t like Italian food, either.”

Sophie cleared her throat. “I can see you’ll be okay. Get some rest and don’t forget your appointments on Monday.” She took her car keys out of her pocket and headed for the staircase.

Just as she reached the newel post, she looked back. He was staring at the counter and not at her. “Jack. I’m sorry about Aleah.”

Jack’s face contorted with pain, anger and sorrow. “Please, Sophie. Just leave.”

She rushed down the stairs and out of the garage. As she started her car, she realized she was crying. Her tears flowed like a dam that had burst. From the moment the accident victims had been brought into the ER, Sophie had checked her emotions. She’d kept her mind on her work and the duties she needed to perform in the moment. She and the other team members lived in a bubble during events like that. There was no past and no future. Only the instant. A tiny fraction of time where souls were suspended between the life on earth and the world after this one. The decisions she made had been critical. And everlasting.

Was Jack right?

Had she made the wrong choice about Aleah? If she’d stayed with her, if they’d done tests or performed the thoracentesis sooner, would that have made a difference? Would they have gained another five or ten minutes that might have allowed the defibrillator to do its job?

Was Nate correct that Aleah was likely anorexic? Were her electrolytes to blame for her heart attack? Was it true that she’d never had a chance in the first place?

Sophie drove out of the wooded glen and back to the road that led to town. She turned left instead of right so she could drive around the lake. The lake helped her collect her thoughts. Often, after a particularly hard day of surgeries, if she couldn’t run the lake trails, she would at least drive around it to clear her mind. The water, whether choppy or placid, gray or crystal blue calmed her. But not today.

Today, Sophie didn’t feel much like giving thanks or praise. Her heart was as heavy as Jack Carter’s. She wondered if one of the reasons he’d urged her to leave so quickly was because he wanted to drown himself in tears just as she was doing.

* * *

IT HAD BEEN two weeks since Aleah’s death and today was the first day Sophie had felt like stepping beyond the boundaries of the hospital or her apartment.

She sat on a red-leather-and-chrome fifties-style stool at the lunch counter at Lou’s Diner, sipping an iced tea while she waited for her lunch. She liked the former train car that had been turned into a retro diner years ago. In the next car over was The LTD, also run by Lou, which served gourmet meals that made Sophie drool just reading the menu. She’d only eaten in The LTD once. That was the night of her graduation, when she’d received her RN. Her father had been healthy then and her mother was electric with pride. Even her Italian grandmother, who spoke little English, agreed to eat in an American restaurant. It had been a hallmark day for the Mattuchi family.

Sophie tried to remember what dreams she’d had for herself then. Mostly, she’d just been happy to be done with finals and evaluations.

However, she must have had some ambition because she’d only worked for a year at Grand Rapids Hospital before she realized she wanted more. She’d decided to specialize in cardiac surgery. She went back to school to get her master’s degree in nursing science and then she entered a highly competitive fellowship program to specialize in cardiovascular care. During her placement, she often felt she was only a half-step behind the heart surgeons she worked alongside. Until she returned home to Indian Lake. Once she started working with Nate Barzonni, she realized that there truly were gifted, intuitive talents in every field. Nate was a virtuoso. A genius. He could have written his own ticket to the country’s top hospitals, but Nate had decided the fast lane was not for him. He spent nearly as much of his time working at a free clinic on an Indian reservation as he did in the high-tech ablation unit at Indian Lake Hospital.

Still, Sophie supposed that Nate’s main reason for setting up shop in Indian Lake was Maddie Strong—now his wife. Sophie grimaced, remembering how she’d literally thrown herself at him when he’d first moved back to town. She had decided that to win Nate Barzonni, she’d attempt a makeover. Granted, her initial thoughts were veering down the right path because she’d needed to make changes. But she should have realized that her tactics had “disaster” written all over them.

Sophie had chopped off her hair and streaked it blond to look as much like Maddie Strong as possible, since Maddie had been Nate’s type when they were in high school. She went on a diet and lost eight pounds. She bought new clothes and fell back on her old standby—flirting.

But Nate was a one-woman man and he’d chosen Maddie.

Rightfully so. Maddie was the best woman, a fact that Sophie had known all along.

The following spring, Sophie flung a bit of caution to the wind and—not coyly—made a pass at Nate’s brother, Gabe. Gabe was very forthright and told her he just wasn’t into her. Little did she know that a few months later he and Liz Crenshaw would be married. Frankly, at the time, she didn’t think Gabe knew Liz at all. In fact, Sophie could almost claim that if it hadn’t been for the Mattuchi family selling Gabe part of their vineyard, Gabe and Liz might never have gotten together at all. Now, they were expecting their first baby.

Yep, I learned my lesson all right. It was time to get her act together. But in the right way.

A waitress dressed in a blue-and-white-striped uniform with a white pinafore apron delivered a cheeseburger and fries.

It had been over half a year since Sophie had ordered a meal that contained double the calories she now consumed each day. But she hadn’t ever been responsible for someone dying on her watch before, either.

Two thousand calories? Who cared? Maybe she’d have apple pie à la mode for dessert.

She was just about to squirt mustard on the burger when she heard a woman’s voice say her name.

“Sophie? Is that you?”

Sophie twisted around on the stool. Oh, no. It was Katia Stanislaus. The most gorgeous creature God ever built. Just looking at Katia’s svelte figure, dressed in a gray linen sheath dress, matching gray pumps and some exotic designer purse Sophie guessed cost three times her car payment, caused her to clench her teeth. She glanced down at her burger and fries. She could already feel the lead they’d form in her belly. She plopped the bun down and wiped her fingers on the paper napkin.

“Katia! Hi!” Sophie wondered if she sounded cheerful enough.

Katia was several years older than Sophie, but Sophie remembered when Katia was named Indian Lake High School Homecoming Queen. Track Queen. Yearbook Queen, but not Prom Queen. Katia had left town abruptly right before prom. Katia was one of those women who grew more beautiful with the years. Sophie would have liked to blame her own hard work for the fine lines around her eyes that Katia didn’t have. But Katia was a steamroller in the insurance business. She’d heard everyone from Maddie to Olivia Melton praise Katia’s work ethic.

Katia glided right over to Sophie and sat on the stool next to her. She glanced at Sophie’s lunch. “How’s the iced tea?”

Sophie smiled wanly. She’d have to add merciful to Katia’s attributes. “Good. Not as good as Olivia’s raspberry herb tea at the deli.”

Katia laughed.

Her voice sounded like tinkling chimes. No wonder Austin McCreary melted when she blew into town last fall. What man could resist her?

Now that Katia was back in Indian Lake, amazingly, she and Sophie had become reacquainted. Actually, if it hadn’t been for Katia, Sophie would probably still be apartment-hunting. Katia had been on the verge of vacating Mrs. Beabots’s apartment in order to move into Austin’s house while they planned the wedding, when Sophie overheard Maddie Barzonni and Sarah Bosworth at Cupcakes and Coffee discussing Mrs. Beabots’s soon-to-be-vacant apartment.

Several years ago, right after Sophie moved back to Indian Lake from Grand Rapids, her father had been diagnosed with cancer and Sophie had moved into the family home near the Crenshaw Vineyard on the north of town to help her mother and grandmother. Sophie’s salary had also paid off a large portion of her father’s surgical and chemotherapy bills. The family had been deeply grateful, but once her father recovered, Sophie couldn’t wait to be out on her own again.

Once she’d heard about Mrs. Beabots’s apartment, Sophie knew if she didn’t snatch the place that afternoon, she’d miss out. Indian Lake was not like any other town in the northern hemisphere. There was little to no new construction, no apartment buildings, very few condos and no place for young people to move to except their parents’ basements. Until the town experienced an uptick in new business or manufacturing, residential construction would remain at a standstill.

Sophie was struck by how such an economic situation could affect the younger generations of Indian Lake. Unless they relocated far from home, it was as if they were all stuck in a vat of molasses. Fleetingly, she wondered if this inertia, this lack of “normal” growth into adulthood, had any effect on the rising drug problem in their town.

Katia was still beaming a megawatt smile. “So, do you mind if I sit here, or were you waiting for someone? Knowing you, the next handsome hunk walking through that door doesn’t stand a chance.”

Sophie winced. Katia wasn’t being catty or petty. She probably thought she was being complimentary. The old Sophie would have agreed with her. Bring ’em on. That had been Sophie’s motto for years. But not anymore. “Uh, I don’t think so,” Sophie replied, squirting ketchup onto the side of her plate.

Katia eyed her as she signaled the waitress. “I’ll have an iced tea and a romaine salad. Dressing on the side.”

Katia propped an elbow on the counter and turned to Sophie. A shower of auburn hair fell over her shoulder, acting like a privacy curtain. “It’s pretty coincidental that I ran into you today,” Katia said. “Jack and I were talking about you only this morning.”

Sophie sucked in a breath. “Really? Nothing good, I’m sure.”

Katia put her hand on Sophie’s shoulder.

Great. It’s that bad.

Since the accident, Sophie had been so busy with her job and battling her own demons that she’d almost pushed Jack Carter from her mind. Almost.

“To be honest, Sophie, I’m worried about him. He’s taken Aleah’s death very hard. Austin and I went to her service with Jack. I’d expected him to need our help to get through the day, but he was...well, I’ve never seen him like that. He’s always been the strong one in his family, you know? None of us had even known her more than a few months. But Jack is acting like she was his sister or daughter or something. I don’t have any idea what to say to him.”

“There’s nothing you can say, Katia,” Sophie reassured her. “Grief is its own timekeeper. Some people move on in a few weeks. Others never quite get there.”

Katia examined Sophie’s face. “And what about you?”

“What about me?” Sophie parroted with more sarcasm in her voice than she’d intended. She was instantly defensive.

How could Katia really know her when Sophie was in the process of regrouping? Reinventing herself?

“I don’t need a medical degree to figure out that those dark smudges under your eyes are not from too much mascara,” Katia whispered compassionately.

“Oh, that.”

“And that’s a lot of comfort food on your plate.”

“Yeah, well.” Sophie sighed, feeling like the culprit in a sinister caper.

Katia frowned. “Mashed potatoes was my go-to food. That was when I left Indian Lake heartbroken over Austin.”

Sophie followed Katia’s eyes to the burger. “Hmm. Not very original of me.”

“No.” Katia leaned back as her salad and iced tea were served. “I’m guessing you’re as upset about Aleah as Jack is.”

Sophie needed to bob and weave. She didn’t want Katia running back to Jack with some tale of woe that he could use against her. If Sophie told Katia anything that resembled guilt or wrongdoing, Jack could sue her and the hospital. Sophie didn’t really know Katia that well. And she was in the insurance business, after all. What if Katia’s friendliness was an act? What if she’d been sent to spy on Sophie? “You’re very observant, Katia.”

“I think I can help, Sophie,” Katia said, spearing a cherry tomato with her fork. “Spend a day in the city with me?”

“What on earth for?”

“For fun. We’ll go to lunch. Window-shop and pretend to buy clothes we can’t afford. It’s the kind of thing you do to take your mind off your troubles.”

Sophie smoothed the hem of her scrubs. “I don’t think shopping will help. Besides, I haven’t done anything like that since college.”

“Then you’re overdue. Maybe we can get Mrs. Beabots to go with us.”

“Is she up to that?”

“Are you kidding?” Katia’s eyes were round as plates. “Just mention shopping to her and watch her reaction. Has she shown you her treasures yet?”

“What treasures?”

“Her closets are a treasure trove. She’s got so much vintage Chanel, it brings tears to my eyes. I’m a discount junkie. Seriously. I drive into Chicago to do most of my shopping since I know where to get all the best deals. I took Maddie and Sarah last weekend. You really need to come with me. We’ll have a blast.”

“I’m not sure. I’ve never had the time—” Sophie’s voice dropped off as she realized what truth she’d spoken. She didn’t have girlfriends because friendships took time and effort. She poured all her concern and caring into her patients. That and the fact that once Sophie turned on her charm, most of her friends’ boyfriends couldn’t resist her. Sophie wasn’t beautiful like Katia. Who was? But she had magnetism, and in the past she’d used it to her full advantage. Right now, Sophie couldn’t muster a spark of allure for anyone. “Thanks for the invitation, Katia. But I don’t know when I could break free.”

Katia nodded. “I understand. Apparently, you’ve been saving mankind. Admirable. Very admirable. But I still want to take you shopping.”

“I’m not that altruistic,” Sophie replied as the image of Jack’s face flashed across her mind.

Katia sipped her tea. “I think you are. Lots of people do.”

“But not Jack Carter.” Sophie was fishing for information. That definitely wasn’t altruistic, and it wasn’t even a good strategy, but Sophie felt the glare of Jack’s condemnation each time she did a shift in the ER.

“He’ll come around,” Katia replied with a reassuring look in her eyes.

CHAPTER SIX

JACK COULDN’T BELIEVE he was nervous about his meeting with Indian Lake Hospital’s president, Emory Wills, but the butterflies in his stomach were about to drown in roiling acid. This deal had been over six months in the making. Katia had initiated the conversations with Emory and the hospital board, but as their inquiries and demands grew and their list of needs expanded, Jack felt it imperative that he take the reins in the negotiations. Katia had been present for most of the meetings so far, but a scheduling conflict had caused both Jack and Katia to do some quick shuffling. In the end, they decided that Katia would proceed with an extensive presentation to a group of local farmers that was nearly as important to Jack as the hospital’s insurance policy.

Jack shook his head. When Katia had suggested last year that he move his insurance company from Chicago to Indian Lake to save on rent and other Illinois taxes, he’d actually scoffed at her. No more. How could he have known that this small community would be vital and progressive in some ways, while its appearance was that of another era? On the whole, Jack liked Indian Lake more and more by the day.

The receptionist in the hospital’s admin wing was clearly above retirement age, and she appeared to handle a bevy of phone calls and issues with seasoned practice. As her hand flew over the phone intercom and dial pad, he noticed a large diamond wedding ring set. It wasn’t the kind of thing Jack noticed ordinarily, but for some reason, he’d begun paying more attention to just about everyone and everything since he’d moved to Indian Lake.

Especially since the accident.

This was the first time he’d been back to the hospital since that night. He’d seen his doctors, as prescribed, but in their clinic offices. It was strange, almost eerie for him to be here, thinking about business...or at least trying to thing about business. He kept seeing flashes of Aleah’s face from that day. Her eagerness during the seminar, asking intelligent questions of the speaker. Later, seeing her laugh and joke with Owen in the car. Then came the pandemonium in the ER as the doctors tried to save her. Sophie’s stricken face as she delivered the news that Aleah had died.

Jack told himself he’d never forgive Sophie for not saving Aleah, but already the grooves in that record were wearing deep. If he hadn’t pushed Aleah to go to Chicago... If only he’d signed her up for the webinars online that she could have studied on her own, in her free time...

If only he’d seen the other car coming at them. But he’d been laughing at one of Owen’s jokes. He’d glanced in the rearview mirror and in that split second, he’d missed it. He’d missed seeing death driving smack into them.

Jack’s head pounded with pain, but he knew it had nothing to do with his concussion. It was stress. He was thinking too much.

Feeling too much.

He should be grateful for the medical care he’d received.

His ankle had healed nicely, and except when he turned a corner a bit too abruptly, he didn’t notice it at all. The bruises around his eyes were a memory, but the scar over his eyebrow and those on his arms would take months, maybe years to disappear. It was just as well. They would remind him always of Aleah and what he owed her.

As his memories of the accident whipped up a fresh batch of guilt, Nate Barzonni walked up, accompanied by another man. Jack rose to greet them.

Nate grasped Jack’s hand and then squeezed his forearm. “Good to see you, Jack. You’re looking well.”

“Doing well,” Jack replied.

Nate turned to his left and said, “Jack, this is Dr. Roger Caldwell. It’s his ablation unit that you’ll be insuring for us.”

Jack smiled brightly. “Pleasure, Doctor. I’m impressed with your work and with your team.”

Dr. Caldwell beamed. “I’m very proud of my group—especially Nate. We were lucky to get him.” He smiled at Nate.

Nate gestured toward a group of chairs out of earshot of the receptionist then leaned toward Jack. “As you know, Jack, I worked with Katia to put this proposal together. I want to make sure President Wills doesn’t flinch over a single aspect. So, I’ll introduce you and give him a little background. That kind of thing.”

“I appreciate this, Nate. Katia has told me that Emory has been here since she was in high school and that he has a penchant for only doing business with Indian Lake natives. She would have been giving this presentation, but when he changed the meeting on us, she couldn’t be in two places at once.”

“I understand,” Nate said.

“You can go in now, Dr. Barzonni. Dr. Caldwell.” The receptionist looked at Jack with steady green eyes. “And guest.”

Jack bit his lower lip to keep from laughing. It was his guess the woman had been in her position for decades. She was as protective as a mother lioness with her cubs. Employees like her were rare these days.

Jack wondered if he could hire her away from the hospital.

They entered the president’s office.

Jack had expected something more grand, but then he was used to Chicago hospitals and private clinics. The room was the size of a suburban living room. Big enough for a desk, three side chairs and a small sofa against the far wall. The furnishings were dated. The pictures on the wall reminded Jack of cheap chain motels.

Jack chided himself for mentally criticizing the man’s taste—or lack of it. Jack hadn’t done much better himself. Katia had decorated the office beautifully, sure, but he had yet to put out his family photographs on his desk. They were still in a box. To say nothing of his condo. The last time he’d bought fresh flowers was at Christmas, which were unexciting cedar sprigs and holly that had lasted nearly till Super Bowl Sunday.

“Jack,” Emory Wills said, shaking Jack’s hand. “It’s good to see you again.”

They all sat in the chairs surrounding Emory’s desk. Nate spoke first.

“Emory, Roger and I wanted to join this meeting today because we both support Jack’s proposal. I’m here to vouch for Jack as a friend as well as a businessman. Though he’s new to town, I met him through my wife and her friends. I believe that Jack and his company truly have the best interests of the hospital in mind.”

Jack kept a warm smile on his face as Nate spoke. Ordinarily, Jack was not a suspicious man. He made a habit of taking people at their word. He’d liked Nate since the first time they’d met, but in light of Jack’s accident and his experience in the ER, Jack wasn’t completely sure if Nate wasn’t trying to dodge a bullet for the hospital. Was Nate’s effusiveness sincere? Did he really think Jack’s company could help Indian Lake Hospital? Or did Nate feel guilty about the way Aleah died? What was his true motivation?

Jack still had questions about Aleah’s treatment that he hadn’t had the opportunity to discuss with Nate.

The irony of all ironies was that Jack was presenting the hospital with a massive malpractice insurance policy at the very time when he believed he might have cause to file a lawsuit of his own. Still, he couldn’t bring suit if Aleah’s parents didn’t agree. At this point, they’d not returned any of his phone calls. They’d been perfunctorily polite at the funeral and burial, but that was all. It was as if they blamed Jack for the accident. Jack still hadn’t received the complete police report, though he’d talked to Detective Trent Davis, the investigating officer that night in the ER. Actually, Jack had placed a call to Detective Davis that very morning requesting a meeting. He hadn’t received an answer.