Finding Our Forever
“It all comes with time.”
Cora checked the clock on the wall. Jill, an assistant to a film editor at Universal, would be getting off work any minute. Cora had been hoping to be done by then, so they could meet some other friends for drinks, but there was a lot yet to pack. “Is Ashton going to be able to make it to my goodbye dinner on Sunday?”
“I’m sure he will. Your brother adores you.”
“Slightly less than he adores all of the women he’s dating,” she grumbled.
“That’s not true!”
It wasn’t entirely true, but Cora had been feeling a little neglected by her brother since he’d turned into such a big shot and become so busy.
The packing tape screeched as her mother closed and sealed the box she’d filled. “Does Aiyana Turner offer discounted housing to all the teachers at the ranch?”
The scent of the marker Lilly used to label the box “Kitchen—Fragile” rose to Cora’s nostrils. “She can’t. There’s not enough for everyone—just a handful of small cottages on the far side of the property, away from the school and the boys’ dorms.”
“So who looks after the boys at night?”
“Each floor has a live-in monitor they call a ‘big brother’ who makes sure the boys go to bed at lights-out, get up for school, study during study time and clean their rooms.”
“Are they teachers, too?”
“No. Most work in town during the day. I was told that some even drive to Santa Barbara. It’s merely a way to acquire free lodging, kind of like managing an apartment building.”
“How does—what’s her name, Aiyana Turner?—decide who gets the other housing?”
“Every teacher has the option to add their name to the waiting list and move in if one becomes available. I just happened to hire on at the right time. The teacher who quit left earlier than planned, and my unit wasn’t spoken for—probably because it’s so small. It wouldn’t be big enough for anyone with kids.”
“So where do the other teachers live? In town?”
“I’m assuming they do. Although I suppose some might live in Santa Barbara. It’s only about twenty minutes away, not a long commute by our standards.”
The packing tape screamed again as her mother built a new box. “But will there be enough of a social life for you in Silver Springs? I mean...if you’re living on campus, will you ever get out? How will you meet people?”
“I’ll meet the other teachers.”
“Who will most likely be older or married.”
“I really won’t know until I get there.”
Lilly straightened and rested her hands on her hips. “There’s more to life than work, honey. A year might not sound long right now, but, trust me, it’ll seem long if you have no one to do anything with that whole time.”
“I can always drive home, visit you guys, Jill, my other friends.”
“I hope you come home often. But...what about the man who hired you? Maybe you can get something going with him. Jill told me you said he was hot.”
Thank you, Jill. “He is hot, but...”
“What does he look like?”
Cora pictured the dark-headed, rather intimidating man who’d shown her around the ranch. He didn’t say too much, certainly didn’t waste words. But those blue eyes were laser-sharp. They didn’t miss a thing. Truth be told, he made her uncomfortable. “Sort of like...a pirate.”
Her mother opened another cupboard and started packing the plates. “A pirate? That’s a positive association?”
“In this case it is.” Mostly... When it came to his physical appearance, anyway.
“How tall is he?”
Cora put her salsa maker, which she’d barely used, in one of the boxes she planned to take with her. If she was going to live in the country, she was going to attend a farmer’s market occasionally and make homemade salsa. “Really tall. And built.”
“He sounds perfect.”
“Not perfect exactly.” That was what she found most compelling about him—that he was a little rough around the edges. “He’s got a fairly big scar on his face.” She indicated the line of her jaw. “Right here.”
“What’s that from?”
“I didn’t ask.” And now that she’d read the article chronicling some of the abuse he’d suffered, she wouldn’t. “As far as I know, he’s already married.”
“Did you see a ring?”
“I didn’t look,” she said, but that was a lie. She had looked—and seen no ring. She’d been curious about Elijah from the first moment they met. But she’d also been apprehensive about the fact that she’d had an ulterior motive for applying at New Horizons, had known he probably wouldn’t appreciate that she wasn’t being fully transparent.
Her mother grinned at her. “You should have.”
“Matt and I barely broke up, Mom. I’m not ready to start dating again, especially in a place where I don’t plan to stay.” Besides, she wasn’t sure she’d be capable of taking on a man as complex as Elijah. There was no telling what kind of scars his upbringing had created, and she wasn’t referring to the one on his face, although that could easily be part of the legacy his parents had left him.
“So you’re only staying there a year?” her mother said.
“That’s right.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear it’s temporary.” Lilly bent to give her a hug. “I love you, you know.”
Cora did know. And she was grateful. She could easily have gone to a family who weren’t so kind and accepting—a family like Elijah had known. “I love you, too,” she said and tried to ignore how selfish she felt for doing what she was doing in spite of the fact it would hurt Lilly if—or when—she found out.
* * *
Elijah Turner was brushing down his horse when Aiyana found him. At the sound of her footsteps, he didn’t need to turn in order to see who it was. If he didn’t come for dinner when she invited him, she tracked him down. She always acted as if she had some official reason, some business question to ask him, but he knew she was simply assuring herself that he was okay. Whenever he complained that he was too old for that kind of coddling, she’d say it didn’t matter, that he’d always be her boy.
“How was your ride?” she asked.
He lifted Atsila’s foot and used a pick to gently clean his horse’s front left hoof. “Relaxing.”
“Cora Kelly arrives tomorrow.”
“I know.”
“Is the cottage ready?”
He moved on to the other front hoof. “Of course.”
“Are you ever going to explain that decision to me?”
“What decision?” he said, but he knew what she was going to say before she explained.
“To hire Cora Kelly. You knew, as well as I did, that Gary Seton, from right here in Silver Springs, was waiting for that job to open up.”
“I interviewed Gary, too—gave him a chance.”
“And...”
“I thought Ms. Kelly was better suited for the position.”
“She’s pretty.”
“That had nothing to do with it.”
“Let’s say that’s true—you’re not worried that she might be a distraction to the boys?”
“You’re saying I should’ve discriminated against her because she’s attractive?”
She gave his shoulder a little shove. “Stop it.”
“You were talking about her looks!”
“Because I wanted to see if you agreed with me.”
“That she’s pretty? I’d have to be blind not to see that.”
“So...do I surmise a bit of interest on your part?”
“None. I’m not the marrying type. You should know that by now.”
“I’d like grandkids at some point.”
“You have plenty of other sons to give you grandkids.”
She sighed as if he was being purposely stubborn. “Fine. Obviously, you don’t like talking about this subject.”
He didn’t argue. There were moments he wondered if he truly wanted to be alone for the rest of his life. But he also saw nothing to be gained from allowing his happiness to hang on the love or will of another person.
“You missed dinner tonight,” his mother said.
“You said to come by if I was hungry.”
“You should’ve been hungry. It’s nearly eight.”
“We’ve talked about this before,” he responded. “I’m too old for you to worry about.”
“You’ll never be too old for me to worry about. And you know why? It’s called caring.”
His problem was that he had the tendency to care too much, to be too intense. “I’m fine.” He started on Atsila’s fourth and final hoof. “I’ll grab a bite while I’m in town tonight.”
She leaned against the fence post. “Whoa, don’t tell me you’re leaving the ranch for a social outing. You don’t do that very often.”
He gave her a look that let her know he didn’t appreciate the sarcasm.
Unperturbed, she smiled. “Your dark looks don’t frighten me the way they do everyone else.”
“They should.”
“Why? I know you love me, even if you rarely say it.”
“What good are words?” His parents used to claim they loved him, but they only loved themselves and the twisted joy they received from tormenting him. “Words are empty, meaningless.”
“Hopefully, someday, you’ll regain your trust.”
He winked at her. “Don’t hold your breath. But... I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I hope you know that.”
“Stop!” She started to walk away.
“What?” he called after her.
“That wasn’t a leading statement. I’m not looking for your gratitude.”
She wasn’t comfortable with it, either. “You want me to fall in love.”
“I want you to be able to fall in love. I want to see you lose your heart—and not be afraid to let it go. Then I can rest easy, knowing you’re completely fulfilled.”
“You never married,” he pointed out, but she offered the usual lame excuse.
“Because I’m married to this place.”
Knowing that was all he’d ever get out of her on the subject, he studied her retreating figure. “Yeah, well, so am I.”
Chapter Three
Cora was using her Bluetooth to talk to Jill when she passed through the wrought iron arch at the opening of the school, her car packed full of her belongings. “I’m here,” she announced as she wound slowly around to where she’d be living.
“That didn’t take long. What time did you leave again?”
She’d gone in to hug her friend goodbye, but Jill, dead asleep, had mumbled something about missing Cora, promised to call and dropped back onto the pillows. “Six.”
“That’s not even two hours ago.”
“See? I’m not that far away.” Although...it almost seemed as if she’d moved to another planet; Silver Springs was nothing like LA.
“I should’ve come with you,” Jill said.
“How?” Cora asked. “You have to be to work in an hour.”
“I could’ve called in sick. You need someone to be there to help you unpack.”
“No, I don’t. My mother would’ve been hurt if she found out I let you come, since I told her I preferred to organize everything on my own.” Cora had definitely not wanted Lilly on the ranch. She knew Lilly had never met Aiyana, that the whole adoption had been handled through an agency. According to the documents her private investigator had uncovered, Aiyana had demanded absolute secrecy. But that didn’t change Cora’s need to keep the two women apart. “I can handle this. The cottage is furnished. And everything I’m bringing fits into my car. It’s not as if I’m towing a trailer.”
“Still, I’m curious.”
“About...”
“The ranch, for one thing. What does it look like?”
“Your basic high school, but with horses and cattle—and some dorms and a machine shop. You’ll see it when you come visit me.”
“I’ve been to Ojai but never Silver Springs. How does it compare?”
“The towns are similar, which makes sense. Silver Springs is located in the same valley, has some of the same mission-style architecture. Only they’ve added a few murals in Silver Springs, like they’ve done in Exeter.”
“Where’s Exeter?”
“Central part of the state.” Cora pulled into the drive that would be her drive for the next year and cut the engine. “My mom took me there once to show me the murals, thought I’d be interested because of my art degree.”
“I’m not that big on murals,” Jill said. “I’ve seen some pretty bad ones.”
“I’ve seen a lot that are worse than the ones they have here. The man who painted the one downtown interviewed for my job. I’m still surprised they didn’t hire him instead.”
“They told you who you were up against?”
“Aiyana and Elijah didn’t. When Aiyana showed me the house, she got a call on her cell, leaving me to speak with a neighbor. He said Gary Seton was a friend of his and was really disappointed.”
“Why didn’t they hire him?” Jill asked.
Cora gazed at her bungalow, trying to imagine calling this place home for the next twelve months. “I’m not sure. I would’ve guessed they’d prefer a local.”
“Could it be that Elijah wanted you to come to town?”
“No. I didn’t get those vibes at all.”
“So you think he’s married?”
“Not married.” There was too much sexual energy surrounding him for him to be in a committed relationship. She could tell he found her attractive—couldn’t help finding him attractive, too. A woman would have to be dead not to feel a little sizzle when a man like Elijah Turner came around. “Just completely closed off.”
“I’ve seen you approach guys before. You’ve never been afraid of a challenge.”
In this situation, she was. She had a lot to cope with already, didn’t need to add a romantic relationship into the mix. Even if she could manage to gain Elijah’s attention, she doubted she’d be able to keep it for long. He was too remote. “I’m only here for a year.”
“That could prove to be a very long year if you plan to remain celibate the whole time,” she joked.
“I’ll survive.” Although...she was already missing certain aspects of her relationship with Matt and, if she was being honest, sex was one of them. “It’d be kind of odd to hit up the man my mother adopted.”
“Why? You’re not related by blood. You didn’t even grow up together. For all intents and purposes, you’re part of a different family. You’re a Kelly.”
Cora dug through her purse, searching for the house key Aiyana had provided her. “On paper.”
“More than on paper! You’ve spent your whole life with the Kellys.”
“I was talking from a strictly literal perspective. But that reaction right there is part of my problem.”
“What do you mean?”
“Am I being ungrateful simply by wanting to know my birth mother? That tears me up inside, because I am grateful. I love my parents dearly.”
“It’s the same with regular parents. All kids should be grateful and aware of their parents’ sacrifice.”
“No, it’s not the same. There’s a sense of entitlement with children who’ve been kept and raised by their biological parents that doesn’t extend to me. Anyway, let’s not get caught up in all of that. Bottom line, people would look askance at Elijah and me if we ever admitted to having the same mother.”
“You wouldn’t admit that, because you don’t have the same mother.”
Cora groaned to show her frustration. “It’s murky. You have to give me that. Regardless, Elijah makes me jealous.” So did the other boys Aiyana had accepted into her life. That Aiyana would give Cora away and then take in eight other children left Cora feeling hurt, baffled. “He holds such a prominent place in Aiyana’s heart that it makes me wonder why she wanted him and not me.”
“We’ve talked about this.”
She climbed out of the vehicle and circled around to grab the suitcase that held her essentials. “You believe she feels the need to fix things—fix people.”
“You told me he had a rough childhood. The other boys probably did, too.”
Other than her ex-boyfriend, Jill was the only person she’d confided in about her search for her biological mother, her true purpose in coming to Silver Springs, and the background of the man who’d hired her. “No doubt. Elijah’s defies imagination. Which only makes me feel worse. When I think of what he’s been through, I can’t even be jealous without an avalanche of guilt. Considering the emotions he dredges up, I doubt he and I should even be friends.”
Jill ignored her uncomfortable laugh. “There were a number of years between the time Aiyana gave you up and adopted him. Her situation must’ve changed, that’s all.”
Since both hands were full, Cora used her hip to close the car door. “Maybe that’s it.”
“You can’t always assume the worst.”
“It’s hard not to. Especially now that I see how functional she is. I mean...if she were a down-on-her-luck prostitute, I could point to that and say, Makes sense.”
“The fact that she isn’t a down-on-her-luck prostitute is why you’re interested in getting to know her. There’s promise there. You believe she might be someone you’d like to have in your life. That’s what scares you. You’re afraid she’ll reject you a second time.”
Cora had to set her suitcase down to let herself into the house. “Do you have to be so frank?”
“It’s important to know when fear’s doing the talking—to keep things straight in your head.”
“It could be a while before anything’s straight in my head—another reason I’d be crazy to get involved with Elijah, even if he were open to a relationship, which I can tell he’s not.”
“Fine. You won’t listen to me, anyway. You’re too busy throwing up roadblocks.”
Cora wasn’t sure she felt any better now that Jill had conceded. She sort of liked it when Jill was arguing the other side. Maybe that was because she did find it hard not to think about Elijah. Even though she’d been almost completely focused on the fact that she’d just found her birth mother when she had that interview with him, she couldn’t help wondering what was going on behind those inscrutable eyes... “You were never given up for adoption. You grew up in a big, boisterous, happy family. You can’t relate.”
“I’ve tried to be understanding,” Jill said.
“I’m sorry,” Cora responded. “I don’t know where that came from. It was uncalled for.”
“You’re angry. That’s where it comes from. And I can see why. But I’m on your side.”
Cora opened her mouth to say she believed that, but before she could formulate the words, she heard a car engine and turned. What she saw wasn’t a car; it was a silver truck. And Elijah was behind the wheel. As he parked in front of her house and jumped out, she felt her pulse leap. “I’ve got to go,” she told Jill.
“Why? What’s up?”
She ducked her head so she could speak without being overheard. “He’s here,” she whispered and clicked the button on her Bluetooth that would disconnect them.
* * *
Cora was wearing a silky orange tank with a pair of white linen shorts that showed off her long, tan legs. As Elijah approached with the orientation materials he’d brought, he found those legs to be distracting. But she was a teacher at New Horizons. That meant he couldn’t get involved with her, even on a casual basis. Contrary to what his mother seemed to believe—and probably everyone else who was surprised he hadn’t hired Gary—he hadn’t offered her the position because he had any romantic interest in her. He’d been impressed with her portfolio. Each piece—a sculpture, a painting, a photograph and a piece of pottery—moved him in some way. He liked that she could make him, someone who knew very little about art, feel something. Gary Seton’s work simply hadn’t been the same.
One piece that Cora had brought, the conceptual sculpture of a mother cradling a child, affected him deeply. When she’d unveiled it during their interview, it’d been hard for him not to stop and stare. He’d wanted to keep it—not because he felt he needed that kind of love. No one would ever be able to hurt him again. He wanted the boys here at the ranch to experience the safety and security that piece inspired, and he wanted to give them a teacher who could not only depict that emotion but understand it, feel it.
Because he knew Gary was disappointed, he hoped he’d made the right choice. Fortunately, the sensitivity he saw in the large brown eyes staring up at him as he drew closer reassured him. She’d wanted the job even worse than Gary. He wasn’t sure why—if she’d needed to get out of whatever situation she was in or was on her last dollar—but he’d been able to feel her eagerness during their interview and he’d responded to that. Maybe this woman would never be able to teach the boys how to create a decent picture or vase, but she should be able to entice them to see the beauty of the world. She was part of the beauty of the world. And she seemed open and vulnerable to the point that he almost felt he should warn her to be careful or life would chew her up and spit her out. After what he’d experienced, that she could get so far without learning that lesson was a bit of a shock to him.
“Hello,” she said.
“I see you made it safely.”
“Yes.”
He motioned toward the older BMW X3 sitting in the drive. “Can I give you a hand with anything?”
“No, it’s okay. I was careful when I packed—didn’t make the boxes too heavy. I can grab it.”
“Are you sure?”
She nodded, so he handed her the orientation manual he’d brought over. “I doubt you’ll care to read all of this. Watching paint dry would be more interesting. But there’s a table of contents. I figured you could glance through, check out any topics you’re curious about and become familiar with how we do things around here.”
“I’ll take a look at it.” When she hugged it to her ample chest, he decided her body was partly what he found so attractive about her. She wasn’t as skinny as some of the girls he’d dated. She was curvy—looked soft, comfortable, sexy.
He searched his pocket for the more important part of what he’d come to give her. “Here’s a key to the high school, as well as one to the art and ceramics rooms. With school starting next week, you’ll be eager to set those up.”
“Definitely. Thank you.”
“You bet. You received the group email about the staff meeting tonight?”
“I did. That’s why I came a few days earlier than I would have otherwise.”
“Great. I’ll see you there.” He started back toward his truck. “Everyone is eager to meet you.”
“Mr. Turner?”
“Call me Eli,” he said as he turned.
“Okay, Eli it is. Where, exactly, is the meeting tonight? You showed me the library when we toured campus the day I interviewed, but I’m a little turned around at the moment.”
He went back and flipped past the syllabus he’d given her to the campus map on the next page. “You’re here,” he said, and drew a line from her house to the library so she could easily find her way.
“Thank you.”
“Sure,” he said. But instead of leaving, he went over to her SUV and began unloading the boxes. He just couldn’t leave a woman to do that alone, not when it would be so much easier for him.
“Whoa, I can get those,” she said, hurrying out to him. “Really.”
“There’s no need for you to carry all of this stuff by yourself. Just point to where it should go. It’ll only take me fifteen minutes.”
As promised, in a short time, he had her vehicle completely unloaded.
“Thank you,” she said as he put down the last box.
“See you later.” His conscience appeased, he started toward his truck.
“Eli?”
He stopped again. “Yes?”
“I—I have a boyfriend. Sort of.”
He felt his eyebrows slide up. Then he almost laughed. She was assuming he had an ulterior motive for helping her. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression,” he said. “I was only trying to make your move a little easier.”
Her cheeks bloomed red. “Right. Of course you were. I’m sorry.”
* * *
Cora’s face burned as she watched Eli drive off. “What’s wrong with you?” she muttered to herself. “Of course he was just trying to help. It’s not as if he asked for your number.”
That blunder actually said more about her than it did him, she realized. He hadn’t been anything but circumspect. She was the one who’d had a difficult time keeping her eyes off him. She was so aware of him on a sexual level that it was hard to act as if she wasn’t, which was odd. She couldn’t remember having such a strong reaction to any other man. That was the reason she’d suddenly tried to throw up a barrier. She’d been hoping to give him a reason to look at her differently—or stay away entirely—and wound up making a fool of herself instead.