Don't Cry for Me

Three

Ryal was in his woodworking shop staining a special order dining table when he heard Beth calling his name. He dropped the brush into a container of paint thinner and stepped outside. She was standing on the porch with their puppy, Rufus, at her side and Sarah on her hip, pointing toward their driveway.

He saw Beth’s SUV coming up the road and waved to let her know that he’d seen it, then headed toward the house at a jog. They would finally get to meet the guy who’d saved Quinn’s life.

When he reached the porch, Beth was grinning.

“What?” he asked.

“Look in the front seat,” she said. “And whatever you do, don’t make a fuss.”

Ryal turned. “Why would I…? I’ll be damned! He’s a she!”

Well aware of how the Walker brothers teased each other, Beth felt obligated to repeat herself. “Ryal! Do not make an issue out of this, especially in front of her. You don’t know what she’s been through or what condition she’s in. Understand?”

He tweaked her nose and then winked. “I’m not completely dense. Of course I understand,” he said, then jumped off the porch and went to meet them with Rufus at his heels.

* * *

Quinn was trying to see Ryal’s house from the perspective of a stranger, rather than a kid who’d grown up inside those walls, wondering what Mariah would think. Granted, Ryal had done some remodeling with the wraparound porch and a fresh coat of white paint after their parents moved out, but it was still a mountain house, simple in style and size. The fact that his brother was a master carpenter didn’t hurt, though, and since Beth had come to live there, the landscaping had taken on a softer, more feminine look. Flowers local to the area had been planted along both sides of the rock walk leading up to the house, and the bushes were trimmed, rather than allowed to grow wild.

He sneaked a glance at Mariah, trying to judge what she thought, and was surprised to see a slight smile on her face.

“What do you think?” he asked.

She pointed toward the house, and the man and puppy coming down the walk.

“Your brother looks like you.”

“Yeah, I guess he does. You can pretty much always find the Walkers in a crowd. We’re all pretty tall.”

Mariah’s eyes widened. “There are more of you?”

“Ryal and Beth have a daughter, Sarah, who’s a little over a year and a half. I have another brother, James, and his wife, Julie, and their two kids. And there’s my sister, Margaret—but we call her Meg—our mom, Dolly, and a whole lot of cousins.”

She couldn’t imagine. “It must be a good feeling to know who your people are and where you come from.”

“I’m ashamed to say I never thought about it, just took it and them for granted. But it is exceedingly good to know there are people who have your back,” Quinn said.

All expression was gone from her face, and he hated that he’d caused her one moment of pain. He reached for her hand.

“I have your back, Conrad. We all do. If you don’t believe it now, you will in the days to come.”

Mariah was saved from having to answer as Quinn pulled to a stop.

“Sit tight. I’ll help you,” he said, and quickly circled the car.

A cool breeze flowed past her as he opened the door. Mariah took his hand as he helped her out, then stood for a moment to get her bearings.

“Hey, brother, you made good time,” Ryal said, as Beth came down the walk behind him, carrying Sarah.

Quinn didn’t bother with chitchat. He knew they were surprised and curious, but he wasn’t going there, and the sooner they figured that out, the better.

“Ryal, Beth, this is Mariah Conrad. Mariah, my brother Ryal and his wife, Beth. The cutie Beth is holding is Sarah, and this very shy pup is Rufus.”

Mariah pushed a shaky hand through her hair and grinned at the puppy, who was licking everybody’s shoes.

“Nice to meet you. Thanks for loaning Quinn your car. It made the trip a lot easier for me.”

“We’re the ones who should be thanking you for saving Quinn’s life,” Ryal said. “He can be a pain in the ass, but we were grateful to get him home in one piece.”

Mariah was surprised that Quinn had credited her with his rescue.

“I wasn’t the only one there,” she said.

“You’re the only one I remember,” Quinn said.

Beth handed Sarah to Ryal and slipped an arm through the crook of Mariah’s elbow. “Why don’t you come into the house with me while they switch stuff from one vehicle to the other? It’ll give you time to freshen up and stretch your legs for a bit.”

Mariah glanced at Quinn. “Do we have time?”

“We have all the time you need,” Quinn said.

Beth led Mariah into the house at a leisurely pace, while Ryal and Quinn transferred things from the SUV to Quinn’s Jeep.

“You neglected to mention that Conrad was a girl,” Ryal said.

“And now you know,” Quinn said, as he transferred the quilt and pillows into the backseat of the Jeep.

“She really saved your life?” Ryal said.

“Pulled my ass out of a burning building.”

Ryal glanced toward the house. “She must be one tough lady.”

“As tough as she needs to be,” Quinn said, and tossed her duffel bag between the seats. “Did you get the stuff on my list?”

“Yes. Beth and I have already been to your place, made up the bed and left the rest on your kitchen table.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it. Did you have enough money?”

“Yes. Your change is on the table, too. So do you have any feelings toward her besides gratitude?”

Quinn turned, his face suddenly expressionless. “That’s none of your damned business. Are we clear on that?”

Ryal held up his hands. “Clear as day.”

“Good. Be sure to pass that along to the rest of the family, because I’m not going to satisfy anyone’s curiosity at the cost of her privacy.”

“Absolutely,” Ryal said.

Quinn glared. “You’re grinning.”

“Am I not supposed to?”

“Not unless something is funny,” Quinn snapped.

“But you’re so damned entertaining,” Ryal said, and punched Quinn on the arm.

Quinn sighed. “Damn it, Ryal…”

“Chill out, bro. It’s all good. If you have everything transferred, come up to the house. Beth made an apple pie this afternoon. I’ll bet they’re already digging in. Here, kiss your niece hello. It’ll put you in a better mood.”

Quinn picked up the baby, kissed her soft cheek and grinned when she poked a finger up his nose, then followed Ryal into the house. The interrogation had ended, but he knew his brothers too well, and this wasn’t over. They wouldn’t stop until they were completely satisfied they knew all his business, or at least thought that they did. He just hoped they didn’t spook Mariah into thinking he had an ulterior motive, because he didn’t know why he’d done this, either. It wasn’t going to be easy living with anyone, especially someone who might have the same kind of issues he had. The fact that she didn’t remember a lot of her past was a little sad. They’d shared a lot besides sex.

“See…I told you they would be hogging all the pie,” Ryal said as they entered the kitchen.

Beth shook her head as she dished the pie onto plates. “Such a baby. There’s plenty for everyone.”

Quinn glanced at Mariah. She was quiet but seemed at ease. Then Beth took the baby and put her down for a nap, and the moment passed.

* * *

Mariah was taking everything in and had learned more in the past five minutes about Quinn Walker than she’d known the entire two years of their mutual deployment. Watching him so at ease with his niece was unsettling. She was trying to picture herself that way and failing miserably. Then she made herself focus on them and not herself.

His brother’s house wasn’t elaborate, but it felt homey. The furniture was simple but beautiful. Family pictures on the walls rooted the house and its occupants in a past she would never know, and the pie Beth was cutting was like something out of a magazine. If it tasted half as good as it looked it would be amazing. She couldn’t cook worth a darn, and didn’t have a marketable skill beyond her sharpshooter medal and a better-than-average eye when it came to pinpointing liars.

Then she reminded herself that it didn’t matter, because she wouldn’t be here long enough for anyone to judge. As soon as she was able to stand on her own two feet again she would be gone. She and Quinn had a history, but nothing that had ever warranted a forever kind of bond. They’d shared a war and a bed, and that was all.

“How about that pie?” Ryal said.

“As you can see, I’m cutting it,” Beth said. “Why don’t you get the iced tea out of the refrigerator and make yourself useful?”

Ryal grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

Beth rolled her eyes. “He’s not usually this malleable. I think he’s just showing off for company.”

Mariah’s leg was throbbing. She needed some of her pain meds but was embarrassed to ask. When Beth put the pie on the table, Quinn scooted a piece toward her and handed her a fork. She took a bite and rolled her eyes.

“Oh, my gosh, this is good,” Mariah said.

Beth grinned. “It’s a recipe my Granny Lou gave me. She’s the best cook in the family.”

“Lou Venable is the best cook in both families,” Quinn said, then added for Mariah’s sake, “We’re actually distant cousins to the Venables, who happen to be Beth’s family, too.”

Mariah didn’t bother to hide her surprise. “You two are related?”

Ryal nodded. “We’re very distant cousins, which is not all that unusual on Rebel Ridge, although we all grew up knowing each other. Not a lot of people ever move off the mountain, and those who do usually wind up coming back. What about your family? Where are they from?”

“I have no idea,” Mariah said. “I was an abandoned baby who grew up in a series of foster families. Aging out of the system at eighteen means a kid like me winds up on the streets. I needed to belong somewhere, so I joined the army in the hopes of learning a trade and ignored the fact that we were already in a war.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ryal said. “I didn’t mean to—”

“No, don’t apologize. I don’t want anyone to cry for me. It is what it is, and Quinn already knew all this, which I assume is why he offered to babysit me through the rest of my healing.” She wouldn’t look at Quinn, couldn’t look for fear she would see pity, and that was something she couldn’t bear—not from him. “I am unbelievably grateful, but I can’t promise to be the ideal houseguest. My memory’s shot, and my leg is a mess.”

“But you’re alive,” Beth said. “And trust me, I know how to appreciate that more than most. But that’s enough serious stuff for now. Who wants ice cream on their pie?”

“I do,” Ryal said.

“Well, we all knew that,” Quinn drawled. “The only person in the family who eats more than Ryal is James.”

Mariah smiled and held out her plate. “I’ve been eating hospital food for two months. I won’t turn down ice cream.”

Beth doled out the ice cream, and for a few minutes conversation was sparse. As soon as they finished eating, Quinn carried their dirty plates to the sink.

“Thanks for the loan of the car and for helping out, but we need to get moving.”

Then he glanced at Mariah. Her hands were curled into fists and the knuckles were white. Damn it. How had he let her get that bad without noticing? He walked over to where she was sitting and leaned down.

“How bad are you hurting?”

“Enough.”

“The doctor gave you pain pills. Where did you pack them?”

“They’re in the outside pocket of my bag, the one with the zipper, not the snap.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Beth turned just as Quinn walked out. She started to ask where he was going, then saw the pain on Mariah’s face and guessed what was happening. She got a glass of water, then took it to the table and sat down beside her.

“I’m so sorry. Here we were acting like this was a party, and you just got out of the hospital. Why didn’t you say something?” she asked as she set the glass in front of Mariah.

“It just started getting bad a few minutes ago,” Mariah said.

Beth touched the top of Mariah’s head, then the side of her face. “You don’t have to hide how you feel from us. We don’t judge, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Mariah said, then breathed a sigh of relief when Quinn came back.

“Here,” he said, and dropped two pills into her outstretched palm.

Mariah downed them quickly. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Do you need to go to the bathroom before we leave? Like I said, it’s about an hour to the cabin.”

“I guess,” she said, but when she tried to stand, her leg went out from under her. Quinn grabbed her before she fell. “Damn it!” she muttered.

“I got you,” he said, and slipped an arm around her waist to walk her down the hall to the bathroom door.

“Can you make it from here?”

There were tears in her eyes. “Yes. Just wait for me.”

“Don’t worry, kid. I’m not going anywhere without you.”

* * *

By the time they said their goodbyes and he got her to the Jeep, the pain pills were having enough of an effect that she was feeling some relief. He put a pillow on the passenger seat before helping her inside.

“The Jeep’s shocks aren’t as good as the SUV’s, but if you sit on this pillow I think it’ll help.”

“You don’t need to worry about me,” she said, as Quinn reached across and buckled her in.

He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin. What she was thinking was disconcerting in the midst of so much pain. Then he turned, and she found herself caught in his gaze.

“What happens if I want to worry about you?” he asked.

Longing washed through her. “I don’t know. I guess I can’t stop you, can I?”

Quinn’s pulse was racing. He was so close he could almost taste the kiss, but he wouldn’t go there. Not until she was standing on her own two feet and no longer dependent on him for her care. It wouldn’t be fair, and if he had a chance in hell of rebuilding this relationship they had to start on equal ground.

He winked to lighten the moment, then backed out of the Jeep and closed the door. By the time he got inside, she had her emotions in check.

“I know you must be exhausted, but this is the last leg of the trip. Once we get to the cabin you can sleep, relax and watch some TV, whatever you want.”

“I’m okay. The pain pills are kicking in.”

“Good. Next time, don’t wait so long, okay?”

“I won’t.”

She waved at Ryal and Beth, who were standing on the porch, then leaned back against the seat as he drove away.

“Your family is really nice.”

“Yeah, they’re pretty special, but they’re also nosy. You’ll probably meet more of them than you’re ready for over the next few weeks.”

She shrugged. “I’ll take my chances.”

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he muttered.

Mariah grinned. “Take a breath, Quinn. I’ve been fighting insurgents for almost five years. I’m not afraid of your family.”

The smile on her face was like a breath of fresh air. It was the first time since they’d left the hospital that he’d gotten even a glimpse of the Mariah he’d known before. It gave him hope that the rest of her was in there somewhere, waiting until it was safe to come out.

When they got back to the main road he turned left and headed up the mountain. Just a little bit farther and they would be home.

It didn’t take long for Mariah to notice the houses they were passing. Some were bunched together in twos and threes, and others were set so far back off the road all she saw was the driveway and the roof. A lot of them were in varying stages of disrepair. She knew what it meant to choose food over shelter.

Most of the vehicles she saw were up on blocks or were being stripped for parts. Children playing in their yards paused and waved as they drove past. A couple even gave chase until called back by a family member keeping watch from a nearby porch. It was obvious that the job market around here was weak.

Quinn caught the changing expressions on her face as they drove and couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking.

“I’m guessing this lifestyle is pretty foreign to you,” he said.

Mariah frowned. “The rural part, yes, but the obvious poverty, not so much. Some of my foster homes weren’t much better, and after I aged out of the system I was homeless. I would have gladly chosen any of these houses rather than sleeping in an abandoned building or a sewer pipe with a half dozen others just like me. In fact, these people are all better off than me. If not for you, I would be homeless again.”

“You never said anything about being homeless before,” he said.

She shrugged. “Why would I? We were too busy trying to stay alive to dwell on what I’d left behind me. I never thought I’d come back all messed up, or that I’d be right back where I started before I signed up. No, that’s not the truth. I have a ways to go to get back where I started.”

“And you have all the time you need to do it,” Quinn said.

She frowned then shook her head. “I can’t stay with you forever.”

“You’re not looking at this from the right angle. All you need to do is take one day at a time, honey. One day at a time.”

She leaned back and then sighed. “You’re right. As usual, I want everything put back together yesterday so I can get on with tomorrow.”

Quinn frowned. “If you think like that, then you forget to live for today.”

She’d never thought of life that way before. It was something to consider.

A short while later he began pointing out places of interest, and her focus shifted.

“My brother James and his wife live down that road,” he said. “They have two of the cutest kids.”

“Beth told me she’s an illustrator and Ryal makes furniture. What does James do?” Mariah asked.

“He farms a little tobacco, but his main job is with the postal service. He’s the mail carrier for all of Rebel Ridge and parts south.”

“I don’t mean this to sound prejudiced, but how come your family seems to have a higher standard of living than a lot of your neighbors?”

“I don’t know. There are plenty of others like us. We find ways to support ourselves knowing we won’t ever be rich, but we know how to be happy with what we have. The people on Rebel Ridge aren’t any different from people down in the city. Some are willing to settle for less, some aren’t. It’s just a fact of life.”

“Do you have a job you go to every day?”

He nodded. “I work for the Daniel Boone National Forest Service as a backcountry ranger. I’m not in constant contact with the public like some rangers, which suits me.”

“Then what do you do?”

He shrugged. “It varies. Just before I went to get you we had two hikers go missing.”

“Did you find them?” Mariah asked, and then knew from the set of his jaw that something had gone wrong. “I know that look,” she said. “What happened? Couldn’t you find them?”

“No, I found them, but one was dead and the other severely injured.”

“Oh, no. What happened?”

“They were attacked by a rogue bear, but that was on the other side of the mountain. He killed one. The other managed to get away. He was in bad shape when I found him.”

She shuddered, her eyes widening as she peered into the trees lining the road. “Did you kill the bear?”

“Last I heard they were still tracking him. But don’t worry, they’ll find him and do what they have to.”

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around her waist. “What else is up here that I need to be concerned about?”

“If I had to guess, I’d say that would be me. I snore. I have some serious flashbacks that turn into living nightmares, and I’ve been known to shout in my sleep.”

She rolled her eyes. “At least now I know I won’t have to worry about making a fool of myself in front of you.”

“There are no fools where I live, girl—only members of the same survivors’ club. Now stop worrying. It’s all good. You’ll see. I only have one bedroom, but my sofa makes into a bed, and we’ve got it all fixed up for you. I would have let you have the bedroom and taken the sofa myself, but the bedroom is up in the loft and the stairs are steep.”

“Loft?”

“Yes, my place is an A-frame. Two stories, with one bedroom and bathroom upstairs, and one big open room downstairs, with a kitchen at one end and the living area at the other. There’s another bathroom downstairs, next to the utility room. It makes more sense for you to be on the main floor. And there’s a wraparound deck that will be great for you to get your exercise without having to walk on uneven ground. It’s not luxurious, but it’s pretty new, and I’m not a slob.”

Mariah was silent, picturing the home and him in it, when he added, “We’ll be okay. No pressure to do anything but relax and get well. Understand?”

Relieved that he’d finally brought up the issue of nothing personal expected between them, she could finally relax. Whatever happened, she was grateful to be with someone she trusted.

* * *

Up in the high country on the other side of Rebel Ridge, Jake Doolen, his sons and their bloodhounds were still trying to pick up the bear’s tracks, desperate to find it before it attacked and killed someone else, but the signs were scarce to nonexistent. It was as if the bear had just vanished.

As far from the hunters as it could get, the bear was carrying an arrow in its rump, and the wound was infected, making it impossible for it to hunt as it once had. It was sick and in pain—two issues that drastically increased the danger quotient. Within hours of first sensing the dogs and the hunters it had made an about-face and begun moving in the opposite direction. If the Doolens didn’t find it in time, it would emerge from the reserve and right into populated territory.

Four

The sun was already sliding toward the western tip of the mountaintop by the time Quinn and Mariah reached the cabin. Her first glimpse of the site he’d chosen for the simple A-frame made her think Quinn was still in soldier mode. He’d set the cabin in the middle of an open meadow that was surrounded on all four sides by trees, with only one road in and out.

In fact, the original homestead had been built in this same place nearly a hundred years before for essentially the same reason: distrust of the federal government in general. The first Walkers to live here had believed that if you couldn’t be found, you couldn’t be counted, and if you couldn’t be counted, then you were off their radar. That mind-set still lingered in some of the more remote areas of Rebel Ridge and the rest of the South.

“Home sweet home,” Quinn said, as he pulled up to the cabin and parked.

Mariah couldn’t quit staring. All it needed was some gingerbread on the eaves and snow on the roof, and it could pass for a fairy-tale cottage from a picture book. The deck was deep and wrapped around the cabin on three sides. The railings were strong and sturdy, built for sitting or leaning. And just like that, all the tension she’d been feeling was gone.

“It’s absolutely beautiful,” she said.

Pleased that she hadn’t freaked about the isolation, Quinn relaxed, too. The first hurdle was over.

Mariah opened her door, carefully swung her legs toward the side, then slowly slid out of the seat.

“It feels good to stand up.”

Quinn quickly circled the Jeep and slid an arm around her waist to steady her.

“The ground can be a little rough. Hang on to me until we get up the steps.”

Mariah didn’t argue. The last thing she wanted was to bust her nose before she got in the house, although it wouldn’t be the first time she’d taken a tumble since she’d been wounded.