Поворот винта. Уровень 1 / The Turn of the Screw

V

Oh, she told me right away, when she came. “What’s wrong?” She was out of breath.

I didn’t say anything until she came closer. “With me? I must have made a strange face. Do I show it?”

“You’re as white as a sheet. You look terrible.”

I thought about it; I could tell her the truth. I held her hand tightly for a moment, enjoying the feeling of her being close to me. There was comfort in the surprise on her shy face. “You came to get me for church, of course, but I can’t go.”

“Did something happen?”

“Yes. You need to know now. Did I look very strange?”

“Through this window? Terrible!”

“Well,” I said, “I’ve been scared. What you saw from the dining room a minute ago was similar to what I saw. But what I saw was much worse.”

Her hand tightened. “What was it?”

“A strange man. Looking in.”

“What strange man?”

“I don’t know at all.”

Mrs. Grose looked around but couldn’t find him. “Then where did he go?”

“I have no idea.”

“Have you seen him before?”

“Yes, once. On the old tower.”

“Do you mean he’s a stranger?”

“Oh, very much!”

“Yet you didn’t tell me?”

“No, for reasons. But now that you’ve guessed—”

“Ah, I didn’t guess!” she said simply. “You’ve only seen him on the tower?”

“And on this spot just now.”

Mrs. Grose looked around again. “What was he doing on the tower?”

“Just standing there and looking down at me.”

She thought for a moment. “Was he a gentleman?”

I realized I didn’t need to think. “No.” She looked in deeper wonder.

“No.”

“Then nobody around? Nobody from the village?”

“Nobody—nobody. I didn’t tell you, but I was sure.”

“But if he’s not a gentleman—”

“What is he? He’s a horror.”

“A horror?”

“He’s—God help me, I have no idea!”

Mrs. Grose looked around again, then she turned to me and suddenly said, “It’s time for us to go to church.”

“Oh, I can’t go to church!”

“Won’t it be good for you?”

“It won’t be good for them!” I nodded[25] toward the house.

“The children?”

“I can’t leave them now.”

“You’re afraid—?”

“I’m afraid of him.”

“When was it—on the tower?”

“About in the middle of the month. Around this time.”

“Almost in the dark?” asked Mrs. Grose.

“Oh, no, not nearly. I saw him as clearly as I see you.”

“So how did he get in?”

“And how did he get out?” I laughed. “I didn’t have a chance to ask him! Tonight, you see,” I continued, “he hasn’t been able to get in.”

“He only peeps[26]?”

“I hope that’s all it will be!” She let go of my hand and turned away. I waited for a moment, then I said, “Go to church. Goodbye. I have to watch.”

Slowly, she turned to me again. “Are you worried about them?”

We looked at each other for a while. “Aren’t you?” Instead of answering, she moved closer to the window and pressed her face against the glass for a minute. “You see how he could see,” I continued talking.

She stayed still. “How long was he here?”

“Until I came out. I came to meet him.”

Finally, Mrs. Grose turned around, and said, “I couldn’t have come out.”

“Neither could I!” I laughed again. “But I did come. I have my duty.”

“I have mine too,” she replied. Then she asked, “What does he look like?”

“I’ve been dying to tell you. But he’s like nobody.”

“Nobody?” she echoed.

“He has no hat.” Then I noticed the look on her face and realized she had already begun to imagine a picture, which made her even more confused. So I quickly described him. “He has very red curly hair, and a long pale face. He has small, strange-looking eyes. His mouth is wide, with thin lips, and he only has little, strange red whiskers[27]. His eyebrows are darker and look like they might move a lot. He looks like an actor.”

“An actor!”

“I’ve never seen one, but that’s what I think they look like. He’s tall, active, and stands up straight, but he’s definitely not a gentleman.”

As I continued, my friend’s face became pale, “Not a gentleman? He?”

“So you know him then?”

“But is he handsome?”

“Very much so!”

“And how is he dressed?”

“He is wearing someone else’s clothes. They are stylish, but they don’t belong to him.”

She cried, “They belong to the master!”

“So you do know him?”

“Quint!” she cried.

“Quint?”

“Peter Quint—his valet[28], when he was here!”

“When the master was here?”

“He never wore his hat. They were both here—last year. Then the master left, and Quint was alone.”

I followed, but stopped a bit. “Alone?”

“Alone with us,” she added, “In charge.”

“And what happened to him?”

She took so long to answer that I became even more confused. “He went, too,” she finally said.

“Went where?”

“God knows where! He died.”

“Died?” I almost shouted.

“Yes. Mr. Quint is dead.”

VI

That night, we agreed that we would face things together. I wasn’t even sure if she had a harder time than me. I knew, even at that moment, what I could do to protect my pupils.

“He was looking for someone else, you say— someone who was not you?”

“He was looking for little Miles.” I knew this very clearly. “That’s who he was looking for.”

“But how do you know?”

“I know, I know, I know!” After a moment, she continued: “What if he sees him?”

“Little Miles? That’s what he wants!”

She looked very scared again. “The child?”

“Heaven forbid[29]! The man. He wants to appear to them.” The idea was awful, but somehow, I couldn’t keep it away. As we stayed there, I had a strong feeling that I would see what I had already seen. However, something in me told me that I could serve as a sacrifice[30] to protect the calmness of my companions. Especially the children, I would surround them and save them completely. I remember one of the last things I said to Mrs. Grose that night.

“It seems like my students have never told me—”

She looked at me as I paused in thought, “About his time here and the time they spent with him?”

“The time they spent with him, his name, his presence, his history, anything.”

“Oh, the little girl doesn’t remember. She never heard or knew.”

“About his death?” I thought deeply. “Maybe not. But Miles would remember—Miles would know.”

“Ah, don’t ask him!” Mrs. Grose cried.

I gave her the same look she had given me. “Don’t be afraid.” I continued to think. “It’s rather strange.”

“That he has never talked about him?”

“Never even asked about him. And you say they were ‘great friends’?”

“Oh, it wasn’t him! It was Quint’s own imagination. To play with him, I mean—to spoil him.” She paused for a moment, then added: “Quint was much too free.”

This made me feel a sudden disgust[31]. “Too free with my boy?”

“Too free with everyone!”

Just to be sure, I asked her one last question. “So you’re saying that he was definitely and admittedly[32] bad?”

“Oh, not admittedly. I knew it—but the master didn’t.”

“And you never told him?”

“Well, he didn’t like people talking about others’ faults. He didn’t want to hear complaints. If people were fine with him…”

“He didn’t want to hear more?” This matched my impression of him. Still, I continued. “I promise you, I would have told him!”

She understood my point. “Maybe I was wrong. But, honestly, I was afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Of the things that man could do. Quint was so clever.”

I understood even more than I showed. “Weren’t you afraid of anything else? Not of his infulence[33]—?”

“His influence?” She repeated with a painful look, waiting for me to continue.

“On innocent little lives. They were under your care.”

“No, they weren’t under mine!” She replied firmly. “The master trusted him and put him here because he was supposed to be unwell, and the country air would be good for him. So he had all the authority. Yes,”—she told me sternly[34]—”even over them.”

“Over those children?” I had to hold back a cry. “And you could stand it!”

“No, I couldn’t—and I can’t now!” And the poor woman started crying.

From the next day, there would be strict control over the children, as I said before. However, we couldn’t stop talking about the subject passionately for a whole week! We had discussed it on Sunday night, but I couldn’t help but feel that there was something she hadn’t told me. I had been completely open, but Mrs. Grose had kept a secret. I was sure that she didn’t do that because she wasn’t honest. She was afraid and that’s it. Looking back now, it seems that I had already interpreted[35] most of the meaning behind the situation, thanks to following more terrible events. What those events showed to me was the presence of a mysterious man who was still alive, while the dead one would stay a mystery for a while. This man had spent several months at Bly, which was quite a long time. The end of this terrible period only came when, on a winter morning, Peter Quint’s body was found on the road. The cause of his death was a head wound[36], which have been caused by a slip on an icy slope[37]. It was a wrong path to take, especially in the dark and after having drinks at the pub.

I don’t know how to explain my feelings in simple words, but during that time I found joy in being brave. We were all in danger together. They had no one but me, and I had them. It was a wonderful opportunity. This opportunity came to me like a clear picture. I was like a shield, standing in front of them. The more I watched them, the less they noticed me. I started watching them with nervousness[38] and excitement. It could have turned to madness[39] if it had lasted too long. But it turned into something else. It turned into horrible evidence. The evidence started when I took action.

The moment this happened was one afternoon when I was alone in the garden with the younger child. We had left Miles inside reading a book. His sister, on the other hand, had wanted to come outside. We walked together for about half an hour. I noticed how both children were able to be independent yet still be with me. They never asked for attention but also never seemed bored. I enjoyed watching them have fun without needing me. It was like being a special person or thing in their game, and I was happy to play that role. I can’t remember what role I played that day, but I know I felt important and Flora was playing happily. We were near the lake, which we called the Sea of Azov because we were learning about geography.

Suddenly, I realized that there was someone watching us from the other side of the Sea of Azov. I was sitting on an old stone bench near the lake when I felt, without actually seeing, the presence of another person in the distance. I was sure that if I looked across the lake, I would see that person. I was busy stitching and tried not to look. I thought that it could be one of the men from the area or even a messenger, a postman, or a tradesman’s boy, from the village. But my thoughts didn’t seem right to me.

I looked straight at little Flora, who was about ten yards away. I was worried if she would also see the strange visitor. I held my breath, hoping for a cry or some sign from her. But nothing happened. Two things shocked me even more. First, I felt that all sounds from her had stopped in a minute. Second, she turned her back to the water while playing. When I finally looked at her, I was sure that we were still being watched by someone. With my newfound bravery, I was ready to face whatever came next.

VII

I found Mrs. Grose as soon as I could. I remember crying out as I hugged her tightly, saying, “They know, it’s too scary. They know, they know!”

Mrs. Grose looked at me with disbelief[40] as she held me. “What do you mean?” she asked.

“Well, everything we know, and who knows what else!” I tried to explain after she let go of me. “Two hours ago, in the garden… Flora saw!”

“She told you?”

“Not a word—that’s the horror. She kept it to herself! The child of eight, that child!” I was completely shocked by it.

Mrs. Grose, of course, was surprised too. “Then how did you find out?”

“I was there, I saw it with my own eyes. I saw that she knew.”

“Do you mean she sees him?”

“No—her.” I knew I must have looked really shocked because I could see it on Mrs. Grose’s face. “Another person, but just as terrifying and evil. A woman dressed in black, pale and scary, with a strange face. She was on the other side of the lake. I was there with the child—quiet for the hour; and then she came.”

“Came how—from where?”

“From where they come from! She just appeared and stood there—but not so near.”

“And without coming nearer?”

“Oh, for the effect and the feeling, she might have been as close as you!”

“Was she someone you’ve never seen?”

“Yes. But someone the child has. Someone you have.” Then, to show how I had thought it all out: “My predecessor[41]—the one who died.”

“Miss Jessel?”

“Miss Jessel. You don’t believe me?”

She turned right and left “How can you be sure?”

“Then ask Flora—she’s sure!” But before I could finish speaking, I stopped myself. “No, for God’s sake, don’t! She’ll say she isn’t—she’ll lie!”

“Oh, how could you?”

“Because I’m sure. Flora doesn’t want me to know.”

“Then, it’s only to protect you.”

“No, no, there’s more to it! The more I think about it, the more I understand, and the more I understand, the more I’m afraid. I don’t know what I don’t see, what I don’t fear!”

Mrs. Grose tried to keep up with me. “Do you mean you’re afraid of seeing her again?”

“Oh, no, that’s not the problem now!” Then I explained. “I’m afraid of not seeing her.”

But my companion just looked pale. “I don’t understand you.”

“Well, it’s that the child may continue to do it, and she will, without me knowing.”

“Oh dear, we must stay calm! And, you know, if she doesn’t mind it…!” She even said a dark joke. “Maybe she enjoys it!”

“Enjoys such things, a little child!”

“Isn’t it just a sign of her pure innocence?” my friend bravely asked.

“Oh, we must believe it! If it’s not proof of what you say, it’s proof of… who knows what! This woman is really horrifying.”

“Tell me how you know,” she said.

“Then you agree it’s what she was?” I cried.

“Tell me how you know,” my friend simply repeated.

“Know? By seeing her! By the way she looked.”

“At you, do you mean—?”

“Dear me, no— She never looked at me. She only looked at the child.”

Mrs. Grose tried to understand. “Looked at her?”

“Ah, with such awful eyes!”

“Do you mean with dislike?”

“God help us, no. With something much worse.”

“Worse than dislike?”

“With great determination[42]. With a kind of evil intent[43].”

Her face turned pale. “Intent?”

“To take possession of Flora.” Mrs. Grose walked towards the window. As she looked outside, I finished, “That’s what Flora knows.”

After a bit, she turned around. “The person was dressed in black, you say?”

“Yes, but with great beauty. She was wonderfully beautiful. But insidious[44].”

She came back to me slowly. “Miss Jessel was insidious.” She once again took my hand and said, “They were both insidious.”

“I appreciate[45],” I said, “that you haven’t spoken about it until now, but it’s time for you to tell me everything.” She seemed to agree with this, but still stayed silent. I continued: “I need to know. What did she die from? Come, there was something between them.”

“There was everything.”

“But what about their differences?”

“Oh, their social status, their situation,” she said sadly. “She was a lady.”

I thought about it; I understood again. “Yes, she was a lady.”

“And he was so far below,” said Mrs. Grose.

“He was a bad person.”

Mrs. Grose quietly said “I’ve never seen anyone like him. He did what he wished.”

“With her?”

“With them all.”

It was as if my friend saw Miss Jessel again with her own eyes. For a moment, I felt like I could see her too, just like I saw her at the lake. I said, “That must have been what she wanted too!”

Mrs. Grose’s expression showed that it was true, but she also said: “Poor woman—she paid for it!”

“Then you do know what she died of?” I asked.

“No—I know nothing. I didn’t want to know; I was glad enough I didn’t!”

“Yet you had, then, your idea—”

“About why she left? Oh yes, I had that. She couldn’t have stayed. Imagine being a governess here! And then I started imagining… and what I imagine is horrible.”

“It’s not as horrible as what I do,” I replied, and then I realized my defeat “I can’t do it!” I cried in despair. “I can’t save or protect them! It’s worse than I imagined—they’re lost!”

VIII

What I told Mrs. Grose was true enough: there were things in the situation that were difficult for me to understand and explore. We both agreed that it was important to stop imagining strange things. Late that night, while the house slept, we had another talk in my room. I asked her how, if I had “made it up,” I could describe each person’s looks in detail, and she named them right away[46]. She wanted to forget about that, and I told her that I was trying to find a way to escape[47] from it. I said that I might get used to the danger with time, but my new suspicion was still unbearable[48]. However, as the day went on, I felt a little better about the situation.

The next morning, I had of course returned to my pupils. I spent time with Flora and realized that she could tell when something was wrong with me. Looking into her beautiful eyes, I knew that her innocence was real and not a trick. But I knew that Flora saw the visitor, but she pretended she didn’t to make me wonder if I saw it too. Flora tried to distract me with games and songs, because she didn’t want me to talk about it.

I felt desperate and needed help. My colleague told me a lot under pressure, but there was still a small uncertain part. I remember saying; “What was on your mind when you said before Miles arrived, that you didn’t think he ever was bad? He has not literally ‘ever,’ in these weeks that I myself have lived with him and so closely watched him. And that’s why you could perfectly stand up for him if you didn’t know about something else. What was it and what did you talk about, because you had to see it personally?”

It was a serious question, but we weren’t joking around, and before sunrise I had got my answer. It was simply the fact that Quint and the boy had been spending a lot of time together. In fact, she said that it was strange for them to be so close. She even talked with Miss Jessel about it. Miss Jessel told her to mind her business. And the good woman talked to little Miles then. When I asked what she had said, she told me that she wanted to see young gentlemen remember their place.

I asked again, “Did you tell him that Quint was just a servant?”

“That’s right! And the problem was his answer, first of all.”

“And what else?” I waited for her to continue. “Did he tell Quint what you said?”

“No, not that. He definitely wouldn’t!” she said. “I was sure, at least,” she added, “that he didn’t. But he denied[49] some situations.”

“What situations?”

“When they were together as if Quint was his teacher—a very important one—and Miss Jessel was just there for the little lady. He spent hours with him, I mean, going off together.”

“He then lied about it? He said he didn’t?” She nodded. So I said, “I understand. He lied.”

“Oh!” Mrs. Grose murmured[50], “You see, Miss Jessel didn’t mind. She didn’t forbid[51] him.”

I thought about it.

“Did he give you this as an excuse?”

She dropped her head again. “No, he never talked about it.”

“He never talked about her and Quint being together?”

She understood where I was going and blushed, “No, never. He denied,” she repeated, “he denied.”

“So you guessed that he knew what was happening between the two terrible people?”

“I don’t know—I don’t know!” the poor woman cried.

“You do know, my dear,” I replied; “but you’re not as brave as I am, and you hold back because you’re shy. You even hide the impression that caused you the most pain in the past when you had to get out without my help. But I’ll find out!” I continued, “There was something in the boy that made you think he was hiding their relationship.”

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1

shudder – дрожь, трепет

2

prologue – пролог

3

misfortune – несчастье

4

successor – преемник

5

seduction – обольщение

6

passion – страсть, увлечение

7

condition – условие

8

carriage – повозка, карета

9

curtsey – присесть в реверансе

10

eager – стремящийся, страстно желающий

11

to wince – морщиться, вздрагивать

12

naughty – непослушный, шаловливый

13

to corrupt – развращать

14

to gossip – сплетничать

15

inn – гостиница

16

charge – обвинение

17

firm – решительный, твердый

18

encounter – столкновение

19

ledge – выступ,

20

to deceive – обманывать

21

invasion – вторжение

22

judgment – суждение

23

cherub – херувим

24

disproof – опровержение

25

to nod – кивать

26

to peep – подглядывать

27

whiskers – бакенбарды

28

valet – лакей, слуга

29

Heaven forbid – боже, упаси

30

sacrifice – жертва

31

disgust – отвращение