Want be a scientist? Read it!
There are two main principles of fraud in a science: Nasreddin’s principle and to frighten all. Nasreddin’s principle is to promise anything you like through 10÷20 years. So, Nasreddin promised to learn a donkey for 20 years to speak, knowing, that in 20 years or the padishah, either a donkey, or Nasreddin will die. V.I.Lenin and N.S.Hrushchev’s Nasreddin’s pupils perfectly well used this reception. The first promised communism in 10 years after revolution. Also has made a fool of all country. The second in the early sixties promised to construct in 20 years communism – in 1980 year! To it, the truth, already practically nobody trusted. A typical example of application of this principle in a science – constant promises to make a thermonuclear reactor in 20 years. Even kalambur on this theme have thought up. Ask: «When, at last, a thermonuclear reactor start, after all so much years have passed?!» – the answer always one: «As well as promised! In 20 years!». How many means under this байку have exhausted from the state, does not give in to an estimation. And examples it is possible to result a heap.
The second principle – to frighten. It is AIDS, the bird’s and pork flu, global warming (a global cold snap if it is not possible to frighten, for example, Eskimos warming), possible collision of the Earth with an asteroid, an ozone gap in atmosphere, the black hole in collider, «which will gobble up all of us», «red mercury» and other бредятина. By the way, has heard recently kalambur, that everyone 13 billion years leading physicists from all world gather and start to build Big adron collider- the brightest example showing a modern condition of a science and a society. Means for this «Babilon tower» are spent the huge. The purposes are absolutely not clear to the overwhelming majority not only the population, but also to the government officials allocating on it Money. Yes that it! To the majority of scientists these purposes are not clear. And here, at last declared, that with some probability have found out Higgs boson. Also what now? And Higgs it knows! leaves that the aether all the same is? Or not?
Is not present, it is better to continue and continue this building and in general to play for time and money, While all its initiators not dye. All according to Law Паркинсона: for what the establishment (the ministry, an industry, etc. has been created.), eventually, it starts to work only for self-preservation. The majority of grandiose projects are necessary only… To their heads. Projects of piloted flights concern the same category to Mars, initially senseless Soviet shuttle «Snow-storm» and rocket Н1 also. Still a magnificent feeding trough – INTOR (the international thermonuclear reactor). Its termination of building is planned already for 2040! Here beauty! All the same before payment anybody from initiators will not live. And there after us though a flood!
There is also a possibility to turn the old goods, to give it the bright name. It, for example, nanotechnology. What is such, anybody distinctly to formulate till now cannot, but in it are engaged now all. For example, people silently were engaged earlier in powder metallurgy. Now they, it appears, are engaged nanotechnology! And what has changed? Absolutely anything except the name. It is a lot of years and without them it was known, that all-round miniaturization is a main way of development of a science and technics. This truism have now lifted on a board and began to cry out, as though they have thought up it. And this nanonism to supervise which have put all the celebrated personality, recently abruptly grows in the plan PR. To people «give» the silliest tales about crowd any nanorobots (on their slang – nanobots) which ostensibly will collect something useful from separate atoms In the garbage container. This shocking obscurantism! In a century before last the impossibility of «devil of Makswell» has been convincingly proved. Any competent physicist perfectly knows about it. Or esteem the book of one of founders of quantum mechanics E.Shredinger «That such a life». There it in detail considers the given question. All this delirium obviously contradicts a science and thermodynamics in particular.
Also will be never the such nanobots, «devils of Makswell», even «Chubays’s devils».
Still there was an artful maneuver which I at all do not know, to what section to carry. These are nuclear filters. Short for those who does not know – make on the accelerator bombardment by heavy ions of a layer of a thin polymeric film, and then chemically pickle it, and in tracks from ions the material is poisoned faster. So receive filters with identical small apertures. How many was enthusiastic shouts, publications, reports, promises of scientific and technical revolutions and protection of dissertations round this primitive invention! And here somehow at a scientific and technical exhibition I approach to the leading research institute stand on a problem of nuclear filters. Also that I see – there are no filters! I ask: where your remarkable filters? There are no filters. Have not thought up – as them to clear. After all they are instantly hammered. Each five minutes you will not assort a design and to change filtering membrane! So, of it could not think at once before to inflate a censer? But, of course, scientific degrees, posts and the huge spent means have not been returned back state. Though, undoubtedly, somewhere disposable filters on some milliliters as in syringes, also are necessary. But it after all a drop in the sea. Or here, for example, fluorescent lamps. That, their developers (Academicians!) Were so stupid, what did not understand consequences? All dumps are dirtied now by mercury, and no economy from these lamps will suffice on liquidation the negative consequences for ecology. The main thing was to take awards, ranks, posts.
Has widely got into a modern science and a direct criminal act. These are recoils, additions, the whole laboratories from dead souls, other frauds. It is natural to be engaged, it is necessary to get preliminary on certain level in administrative hierarchy. On This background on (Forgery and swindle) already and for a criminal offence do not consider the writing of false dissertations. So in the newspaper «Troitsk variant» the situation when the candidate (woman) in pre-election campaign she was openly praised by that in 90th years earned additionally a writing of such forgeries is described.
Further I result the description of some most interesting events which together, I hope, can it is live and from the different parties to illustrate an event picture in sphere of scientific activity and mutual relations of scientists with an external world.
Learning
«The school learns to live in the world which does not exist». Albert Kamu
Cases in MEPhI (Now it FBGOU VPO NIJaU— language to break it is possible!)
Atmosphere
«Who to us has got to MEPhI, that to long has ceased…»
Student’s song
«Sciences do not have the end, and the life is instant
Therefore aspire to acquire an essence only
From a mix of milk with водою geese
Skilfully to take milk will manage»
Panchatantra
Gaudeamus igitur, so, we will have fun,
Juvenes dum sumus! While we are young!
Gaudeamus
MEPhI was, (and can and now is) one of the main suppliers of psychiatric hospital №15 which is very conveniently located opposite to it. Who – I do not remember, but has very truly told: «you will read a little – you will not learn to think, you will be too much – you will forget».
I have somehow gone on offset. In one hand there was a package with textbooks, and in another Mother has given to a hand dust that I have thrown out it. I come on offset – in a package dust. I have understood – it is necessary a measure the nobility in study. At big parts of students all cares were reduced to that, as though this session opposite to hand over, yes properly to have fun. Well, still to earn additionally a money. Wau, me now these cares! And all after all, little fools, would dream to finish somewhat quicker institute… Here then —we will begin to live!
Earlier students, in my opinion, were somehow more cheerful and more carefree. Constantly everyone thought out something, that повеселить the company. So, for example, there was a French film «Fantomas». One student in a hostel after viewing of this film has had hair cut «under Kotovsky», has then dissolved зеленку in a bucket with water, and has dipped there a head. It has turned out poured out Fantomas. In such kind it has gone at first to student’s buffet, nearly has not finished to a faint the barmaid, and then was in institute on examination where has made the present furore.
At socialism all students have been obliged to be members of the Komsomol. And at us student Ulyanov to whom severe parents have arranged a name and a patronymic – Vladimir Ilich studied! The person for all life has appeared is doomed to mockeries. It is natural, that for a trick we have chosen it at once comsomol organiser. And he should write characteristics on all of us. And here just there was on the screen a film «Seventeen instants of spring». He also has written on us type characteristics: «the excellent sportsman, is ruthless to enemies of the CPSU, character firm нордический, the exemplary family man etc.» Above as have learnt about it … … …. Well was to all of us on nuts! Hardly was Vladimir Ilicha Ulyanov from Komsomol have not expelled. But were afraid, probably – and suddenly the voice of America learns – then the end would be all! Still, Lenin have expelled from Komsomol! Though, then it for poor progress have deducted all the same from institute.
In MEPhI concentration of talented people was high. It and is not surprising, as competition those years sometimes gushed over for 10—17 persons into place. Unfortunately, almost all of them essential have not achieved anything, and from a life anything corresponding to their talent have not received.
In our society propagandise the meanest and silliest slogan: «the Talent itself will punch to itself road!». It is difficult to think up something more disgusting. Actually it is necessary to cherish such people simply. They, as a rule, in a usual life are helpless, as children. And after all were such which not going at lecture, read volume of theoretical physics Landau for a night, went on examination, and on it nonplused the teacher! Or for the first time at examination from the ticket having learnt about theorem existence, there and then found the, original way of its proof. Some of them laid down the person in a pillow and without ceremony won even against good players in dark at game in chess on three and more boards. Them was about one on group. Obviously, that they not such, as we, usual people. My opinion, that at them for some reason brains do not get tired. At me, for example, after an hour of intensive mental work comes full out. Thus I have noticed, that all talented, they simultaneously good, pleasant and benevolent people. Probably, because unlike us, are deprived envy. I sometimes even think, that to us, to usual people, in such institutions as MEPhI and to do there is nothing. They read «on-diagonal» for an evening the book stuffed with mathematics and acquire all. And I while itself will not make all mathematical calculations, I do not acquire anything. When I have handed over on the five entrance examination in physics in MEPhI, and left «winner» through a front entrance on steps, and to me relatives towards ran, jumping up from delight, the internal voice accurately to me has told: «it is not necessary to you here!». I have not obeyed. But on the first course all like would go perfectly. I – that studied at mathematical school, and already knew higher mathematics bases. Therefore sometimes even tried to prompt to the lecturer. All also have decided, that I – talent. But then really capable people, of course, «have made» me. And as has gone mathphysics, theory of complexes, quantum mech, I here have absolutely become sad. The internal voice was right all the same. You see a stone not under force – do not lift! But on entrance examinations all climb as mad, and do not reflect on consequences. Probably, works an agiotage and a gregarious instinct. And it was necessary to me to go in any economic-statistical, building, or «Trade-Institute» and, quite possibly, would achieve much bigger successes. There by the way, bad students from us forwarded, and them with pleasure took. I met some then – successful, big-bellied, in ties, with secretaries, People happy with a life. Here all my moral, intellectual and other forces as in sand, have left in mad study. It all the same as in a frontal attack on machine guns to go. It is well told: «all useful – is simple, all unnecessary – is difficult».
Pay attention – practically all first people in our state finished any Periphery, third-rate educational institutions. It is possible to explain it to that they were not required need deeply into a difficult speciality and consequently they had possibility to spend all time for procrawling on a Komsomol and party line, an institution of useful acquaintances.
Tricks in MEPhI was it is a lot of, but some were remembered only. Here, for example, there was it in 1965г. On change we have run out in a toilet who to smoke, who what for. One of students, the huge guy «from a plough», has run up to a booth and so has jerked for the handle (and it has appeared closed from within) that all sickly castles with guts have taken off. We in shock! There «as the mountain eagle at top of Caucasus» sat itself chef of cafedra of physics on the brink of a toilet bowl! A mute scene. He stretches the right hand to close a door. decides, that he wishes to greet him. Alexander catches his palm, shakes and speaks: «Hello Igor Vladimirovich!». Then on semibent, leaves a toilet, having forgotten, what for has come.
Loading at study was very big. The main problem consisted that to me tried to push a huge heap in a head absolutely not necessary to me Information. Someone has well told, that the student differs from the teacher that the teacher should know only one subject, and the student – all. And here, at last, all having overcome, I have received the desired diploma! Ur! – Ur! But when to me have appointed the salary …. 100 roubles (and some even a rank «the senior laboratorian» with the salary of 90 roubles!), I have strong and gloomily reflected for the first time. After all being the student, I received much more. Went only in the best restaurants, went by a taxi, has not been constrained at all in means. Really, we will count up: the grant of 60 roubles, earned additionally 40 roubles – conducted a circle of radio for children at the Moscow House of scientists and went in student’s стройотряды – roubles in the summer to 500 earned. And it not considering tutoring. What now was to do? Either defend the dissertation, or live, as the vagabond. What for then so much forces are spent? It is told: «The one who in sciences has deeply got, but has not taken from them neither advantage, nor a joy in vain only I smother has exhausted. To it and to know them it would be not necessary». That was to do, it was necessary to the dissertation to write.
Though, of course, on 100 roubles then it was possible to live somehow still. It not any 15000 roubles which pay to the engineer in the scientific organizations today. Now has simply paid for apartment and journey, and die, as you know. Therefore the management pretends, that in it pays, and engineers pretend, that work. While this string somehow lasts. But the end any more not behind mountains. Certainly, in a press there are announcements of employment of engineers with the salary of an order of 3000 dollars. But when I esteemed, that they for this money demand …. simply they wish «to buy on a penny of five-kopeck coins».
Group of honours pupils
«It is better to have a red physiognomy and the dark blue diploma, than a dark blue physiognomy and the red diploma».
Student’s wisdom
«If you such clever, where your money?»
The American question
CONCLUSION of Beiker: the problem decision puts two new problems, therefore the best recipe of a happy life: do not solve a problem. (Who such Beiker —till now it is not known.)
«Either be able to win, or be able to be on friendly terms with the winner.» Fokion, the Athenian politician and the commander
In Russia there is a phenomenon of working highly skilled poverty. You can be the brilliant engineer or the sensible lawyer – and to receive copecks. A problem that at us the social environment and the state – as at the countries of the third world, and human potential still as at rather developed country. This problem acts in film degradation of human potential when level of professionalism, erudition and culture Z.Sidorkin.
In the early sixties MEPhI was extremely popular among youth. Simply to a psychosis. To other technical institutes, I think, was very much enviably. In general always there was a traditional competition between PhysFak the Moscow State University, MEPhI, PhysTech and MVTU – who more abruptly? I remember, any student from PhysTech «has not bad acted». It have caught without the ticket in an electric train. Money is not present. Who such? The stude nt From PhysTech. How call? – Albert. A surname? – Einstein. Have sent in institute the letter with the request to work it on general meeting for driving without the ticket! And more recently the candidate for presidents has arrived in PhysTech and at collective meeting has given out to them: « You the best… AFTER PhysFak the Moscow State University». That them SO do, it would be necessary to think long even to very clever person … …. And my acquaintance from MVTU told, how they before April, first over one student have played a trick. In its room the window left on a balcony, the general with the next room. When he has fallen asleep, its window have outside painted over ink, and have rearranged accordingly an alarm clock. On first of April he has woken up, has seen, that is still dark, has looked at an alarm clock and, happy, has fallen asleep. And so some times. Only in the evening he has felt the wrong. Still they had a traditional cool April Fools’ joke for first-year students. Hung up the announcement in a hostel that it is necessary to unload the lorry with products for buffet which will arrive to 12 o’clock in the morning. And loaders already have left. It is promised for work to everyone on a frozen hen. And here at midnight the group of half-dressed, hungry students on a cold wind waits the lorry with notorious hens. And all are not present it. Then the cleverest starts to reach, that generally 1th April…
All other technical institutes were somehow on the second plan. To create to myself advertising and to prove before the heads, the rector of one of solid Moscow technical institutes (I will not name, and that still will take offence) has decided to collect all honours pupils of the first course in one group, and became in the ministry and at any meetings of rectors to tell about the new fine initiative. Now it is called «PR». In the central newspapers laudatory articles have been placed about it. And he has so taken a great interest, that has lost any vigilance, and has invited rectors of all leading Moscow institutes to familiarise with its best practices.
There have arrived rectors, representatives from the ministry, long spoke before representatives of the press grandiloquent, smart speeches. Have then met students – honours pupils. The rector of MEPhI also speaks to them: «Children, and pass all of you in MEPhI!». All is final for! After that case the initiative as can guess, has decayed.
And on the life experience I have come to conclusion, that if to you Intolerably «It is necessary a science», of course, go to MEPhI or on PhysFak. And if as all normal people, you wish to live well and cheerfully go in any unpretentious institute.
MEPhI hostel
«When there is no vodka snack it becomes simple meal».
«Vasia, and who carries your shirts when they pure?».
«Ugly women do not happen – there is not enough vodka».
«A lot of vodka does not happen – there is not enough snack».
«How many vodka take, and all the same second time to run it is necessary».
«Why students after the first have not a snack? – Because Then after the second there will be nothing…»
Axioms of a student’s life
«At us in a hostel such things become,
That I never would believe, if In it did not participate».
The letter in AIDS-info
In MEPhI hostel, especially in 2nd case drunkenness and other «disgraces» prospered. Probably, partially it spoke what on our faculty did not accept a female? Then the institute management has thought again, and began on two maidens in group to take, probably that somehow though in audiences restrained in expressions (and that, passing near to audiences of our faculty, all heard there such analysis!). Our case had special success in maidens of «easy behavior» as they then were called by the press. In the mornings, having approached to the case №2 it was possible to think, that this female hostel, it is so much them therefrom left. The head of our group Sashka Pilipenko (already grated man with the life experience, served army) very much liked to organize «parties» where forced these maidens (and they not very much and objected) naked to dance on a table. It was it best number! All knew about it, including a management of institute which repeatedly demanded to stop disgraces, and tried to seize all «by naked buttocks» on «scene of crime». The task has been given Komsomol operative group, and hunting has begun! But here only everything, even the most smart, carefully planned round-ups for some reason always came to an end with anything. I think, the reason that a good few of members of operative group simultaneously were habitues of these «parties». The similar occurred and in the Moscow State University. In a high-rise hostel of the Moscow State University the student begins process of copulation with the student. At the same time the group of members of the Komsomol knocks on their door on purpose to check up – and whether there is no who at the student at night. Understanding, that threatens them, the guy, not long thinking, «easily dressed» leaves on a wide window sill, and, keeping there for a pipe, calms down. The student opens a door in a dressing gown, rubs as sleepy eyes. Combatants attentively examine a premise, one looks out in a window, sees there the naked man, and on a question: «Well there?» From man’s solidarity, fairly answers: There anybody. AS ANYBODY!!! – the girl shouts, fainting!
Superintense study at absence enough cultural rest (it is simple time for it does not remain) led sometimes to mass psychological failures. In 1967 during summer examinations children in a hostel sat, prepared for session, look out of the window – little girls any go. They it to shout something have begun. Те have answered, little by little, all hostel has rebelled, poured out on street, have written posters with «political» slogans of type «down with session!!», has begun The spontaneous Demonstration and meeting, began to beat glasses, the administration has caused a heap of militia, firemen with fire engines… Then when, at last, all «have tied» and have begun «пытать», anybody plainly could not explain anything. Radio stations «Freedom» and «the Voice of America» have somehow found out about this case, and were out of itself for pleasure. They long sucked round this event, naming it «Revolt in red confidential nuclear college». And just Session of the Supreme body any there on which to all students, certainly, was deep to spit at this time has opened. But these «radio voices» assiduously repeated, that students of MEPhI ostensibly demanded closing of Session of the Supreme body of the USSR!