The Morning After the Wedding Before

It had been extremely worrying at the start; Mylo had been born prematurely at thirty-three weeks weighing only three pound ten. She remembered staring at this delicate little baby in the incubator, terrified of taking him home in case she did something wrong. Seeing him so vulnerable and fragile made Kim promise herself she would be the best mother she possibly could. She didn’t expect to love taking care of little people and protecting them, catering for their every need, but she discovered it wasn’t boring at all. In fact, she loved it. She needed it. She loved feeling essential, with two tiny little people constantly climbing all over her, lying on her lap and resting their heads on her chest.

She couldn’t believe how quickly Mylo and Willow had already grown; time seemed to be flying past and Kim wanted to relish every moment with her babies. The thought of going out like she used to just didn’t appeal to her any more. She didn’t mind the odd dinner here and there, it was always nice to catch up with people, but generally speaking, she didn’t want to go out and get drunk, feeling ill all the next day. She had a family to look after and it just wasn’t worth it. She had grown up. She was happy with her life now. When they’d first got the invitation to go Vegas, Kim had immediately thought there was no way she was travelling over ten hours away without her family. She knew how happy Holly would be if she went; Holly’s excitement had been obvious the minute she’d seen the invite, but she’d wanted Kim to go too, and Kim just wasn’t sure if she could just up and leave being a mother to two young children. They came first.

Kim thought back to how Andy had come home that evening, Mylo and Willow fast asleep upstairs, Kim just dishing up dinner.

‘Good day at work?’ she’d asked, like she did every day.

Andy was a PE teacher at their local secondary school. Rugby was his thing, and he also did rugby coaching on Sundays. He lived and breathed it, though Kim still didn’t have the foggiest ideas what the rules were.

‘Yeah, it was good thanks. Lily and I were just trying to organize sports day for most of the day. She’s got some great ideas, I’ll give her that.’

Kim’s brow creased. ‘Lily? Remind me who that is?’ she asked. She thought she’d heard something about a Lily the week before, but Mylo had come downstairs saying he wanted a drink and Kim had been distracted.

‘She’s just a new PE teacher at the school,’ Andy had told her vaguely, pouring them both a glass of orange juice.

‘Oh right. What’s she like? Young? Old?’

‘She’s twenty-eight, slim, long dark hair,’ Andy said nonchalantly as he reached for two coasters before placing the drinks on the table.

‘What about your day? Did you see Holly like you planned?’ Andy asked as she sat in front of him, handing over his plate.

‘Yes,’ Kim had replied. ‘We just took the kids to the park, that’s all.’

‘The one near the newsagents? I think Lily lives near there. She was telling me earlier today that they do a great summer fair in that park; perhaps we should check it out? Oh, I’ve been meaning to ask if you fancied a night out soon? Tony and Leah have asked if we wanted to go to their house for dinner. My mum said she’d babysit.’

Tony was Andy’s oldest friend from school. He’d been best man at their wedding and Andy had been his when he’d married Leah. Though Kim knew they hadn’t met up in quite some time, the prospect of spending an evening with them didn’t exactly sound enthralling. Tony and Leah didn’t have any children and Kim knew they would constantly be topping up their wine glasses, convincing them to stay for ‘just one more’. They would most likely end up getting home in the early hours, and with Mylo and Willow being such early risers, Kim couldn’t think of anything worse. She knew Andy would be keen to stay late and it would be Kim appearing like the boring one, battling to get him to leave.

‘I’d rather not if I’m honest,’ Kim told him.

‘Why?’ Andy turned to her, his brow knitted.

Kim sighed reluctantly. ‘It will end up a late one, Andy. I don’t want to feel rough the next day when we have such young kids. Maybe another time, eh?’

He sighed heavily and nodded, looking disappointed, knowing there was no point in pushing things further. When Kim made her mind up, she rarely changed it.

Kim was keen to change the subject. ‘We’ve been invited to Emma Langford’s wedding in Vegas. Shame it’s so far away or we could have gone, but there’s no way we could ask either of our mums to have the kids for so long, is there? I wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving them either. I know Holly is really eager to go though.’

‘Why don’t you just go, Kim?’ Andy suggested, running his hand through his beard, which needed a trim. ‘Go and have fun with Holly. Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we have to miss out on everything, does it? One of our mums can have the kids for a few days when I’m working and then I’ll take care of them over the weekend. Come on, treat yourself. Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance of going to Vegas.’

Kim shook her head, not feeling entirely comfortable with the idea. Kim was their mother. As much as Andy was a great father, he didn’t do things like Kim did. He didn’t know that Kim had to pretend to sprinkle sugar on Mylo’s cornflakes to keep him happy in the morning or the way Willow had to be rocked to sleep if she woke up in the night. ‘Yes, but things are different now, aren’t they? I have responsibilities. No, honestly. Thanks Andy, but I don’t think I should be leaving them.’

Andy shrugged with an unreadable expression before sitting at the dinner table and gazing out into the garden. ‘I’m going to mow the lawn after dinner,’ he said.

Half an hour later Kim was watching him roam up and down the lawn with a determined look on his face. Andy saw their garden as a serious business. He was often asking her opinions on the flowerbeds or if she liked the lines he’d made in the grass.

She’d always thought of Andy as her rugged bear: he was tall at six foot two, and being a rugby player, he was solid and brawny, but with kind, gentle features.

Andy’s phone vibrated, which he’d left on the table and Kim picked it up, about to pass it to him before she noticed it was a message from Lily.

Hey hot stuff. What you up to?

Kim swallowed hard as she read the message again, an unsettled feeling washing over her immediately. Hot stuff? What on earth was all that about? It wasn’t exactly the appropriate thing to write to a married man, was it? But perhaps it was just in a friendly way, Kim told herself. Harmless banter between two work colleagues. Kim didn’t want to be suspicious and she knew she should just put the phone down, but her eyes flicked up at Andy who was in a world of his own in the garden, and she clicked on the message so she could see the rest of the thread.

The blood rushed to Kim’s ears and she felt she had something lodged in her throat as she looked through their other messages, which had been going on over the past few weeks.

Lily: Where are you eating lunch today? Want some company?

Andy: Sure! I’ll come find you now.

Lily: Can’t stop thinking about what you said earlier. I keep laughing!

Andy: Yep. Funny as well as good looking. Told you I was perfect!

Lily: Maybe you’re right :)

Lily: Fancy a drink after work Friday night? I want to prove that I can drink you under the table ;)

Andy: Maybe. I’ll see if I can make it.

Lily: Been thinking of you today. Missing me?

Andy: Like a hole in the head!

Lily: Ha. I know that’s a lie. Of course you are 

Andy: Maybe a little bit. Could do with an extra set of hands here. How’s the sickness bug?x

Lily: Getting better, but still a bit fragile so you’ll need to look after me when I’m back. Wait on me hand and foot, that kind of thing ha. Hopefully I’ll be back with you tomorrow xxx

Andy: Fingers crossed! Hope you feel better asap. It’s not the same without you x

Kim felt as though her heart was thumping at a million miles per hour. Was she overreacting to this? Kim couldn’t help but notice that their messages were very flirtatious. Why was Andy entertaining this? She racked her brains looking at the date Lily had texted him about going out on the Friday night. They’d had her parents over that Friday evening she was talking about because it had been the day before Kim’s dad’s birthday. Andy had been home with her. She breathed a sigh of relief. Had he asked what their plans were that week to check if he was free? Kim couldn’t recall it now. She was always bathing the kids when he arrived home or attempting to get Mylo to stop coming downstairs and reading him his fifth bedtime story of the night to make him go to sleep. There were always so many other things to think about that she rarely took much notice of Andy any more. Her hands were trembling as she nibbled the nail of her index finger. The thought of not taking much notice of her husband any more troubled her.

She looked up to see Andy strolling in looking pleased with himself. ‘Grass looks nice, doesn’t it?’ He turned back round to view his masterpiece.

‘Yes, well done,’ Kim said, after waiting a moment to compose herself. She should say something. Kim knew she ought to bring it up, right there and then. She had to tell Andy she wasn’t too happy with these messages and they had to stop. But she hadn’t said a thing. It was as though the words were just stuck in her throat. Andy was right, she had changed. Kim used to be a bit of a wild child, always up for going out and getting into mischief. It was one of the things Andy had always told her he loved about her. As soon as she’d had Mylo, that had all changed. But didn’t that happen to the majority of mothers? Was Andy getting bored of her? Was she pushing him into the arms of Lily, the twenty-eight-year-old, child-free colleague who thought her husband was ‘hot stuff’? Kim took a deep breath. She needed time to process all of this.

‘Andy, I’ve been thinking,’ she managed. ‘Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer to Vegas after all.’

The memories of that evening disappeared as Kim heard Holly’s soft giggle. ‘I wouldn’t have called it a proper kiss,’ she pointed out, ‘more like a little peck. I shouldn’t have even told you. Now come on, shall we get ready and go get some breakfast? I’m starving,’ she said as she jumped out of bed.

‘Are we just going to a pool today? I can’t wait to sunbathe without a single interruption.’ Hopefully it would also give her time to think about her marriage too. She had wanted this time to come away and escape, forgetting about her troubles back home, but Kim couldn’t help but feel she’d only brought them with her. Even last night she’d struggled to get asleep due to the worry, despite being exhausted.

‘Yes. I said we’d meet the others there at oneish. It’s somewhere called Encore; I can’t remember the hotel though,’ she said, before disappearing to have a shower.

After a delicious breakfast of pancakes drenched in maple syrup, the girls were making their way to the swimming pool.

‘We must be the first to arrive,’ Holly noted, looking round for the others. It was a huge place but was fairly quiet so far, with just the odd few sunbathers. Holly imagined it would get busier later on. She glanced at her watch. ‘It’s only twelve though, so I’m sure they’ll be here soon enough.’

‘Is lover boy coming?’ Kim teased.

Holly rolled her eyes. ‘Hey enough of that,’ she laughed. ‘I told you it was only one quick kiss and yes, I think he said he was.’

‘Peace, quiet, sunshine and my Kindle,’ Kim sighed loudly. ‘This is the life. It’s absolute bliss; I’m so pleased that I came away. I really do appreciate the break. I can’t believe we once got to do this whenever we felt like it.’

The sunshine was blazing and Kim couldn’t wait to try to relax. As she took a deep breath, she smiled as she realized it smelt like holiday: a mixture of coconut, chlorine and sun lotion.

Feeling a sudden wave of guilt that she was enjoying herself so much, she pulled her mobile out to call Andy, just to check everything at home was okay with the children. She’d never been away from them before, and despite telling herself she needed to switch off, she was struggling. It went straight through to voicemail and Kim frowned.

‘Calling Andy?’ Holly asked, squinting at Kim in the bright sunshine.

‘Yes. Just got his voicemail,’ Kim said, an uneasy feeling creeping up on her.

‘Perhaps he’s working late.’

‘It’s about nine o’clock. at home. He wouldn’t be working now,’ Kim replied sighing heavily.

‘I wouldn’t worry; he’s just probably a bit busy. He’ll call back.’

Kim nodded. She knew she was overreacting, worrying for absolutely no reason at all. He could be in the shower or he could have left his phone upstairs; there were a million reasons why he may not be able to answer her phone call straight away. Her mum was watching the children until he got home from work, but Kim assumed she would be home by now, but she tried her phone anyway, anxious when she didn’t answer either. Kim’s mum was terrible with her mobile. Half of the time it was on silent and the other half of the time she left it at home. She couldn’t stand not knowing what was going on. A thought dawned on her then and it was one she didn’t like at all.

Had Andy wanted her to go to Vegas so he could spend time with Lily?

Chapter 6

Holly

‘Fancy a cocktail?’ Holly asked hopefully. ‘I may get a Cosmopolitan.’ Holly hadn’t brought a book like Kim had. She had tried to explain to Kim how busy it would get; Vegas pool parties were hardly the place for reading. Kim hadn’t taken much notice though and staying true to her new, sensible self, she’d pulled out a sun hat and Factor 50 cream. Gone were the days when Kim would sunbathe topless, lathering on Factor 2 oil.

As the minutes went by, it started to become more and more lively, with crowds of people walking through the entrance, security guards checking the ID of everyone coming through and it was clear they were in the right place. Holly knew Emma wouldn’t disappoint with her plans and she was glad she’d worn her best swimsuit. Her plain, boring mumsy ones just weren’t going to cut it here, she thought amusedly. The girls who had started to walk in were certainly dressed to impress, many having a full face of make-up on and freshly tonged hair. They oozed glamour and sex appeal, many laughing and appearing buoyant, ready to have a good time. The music started to become louder and Holly heard Kim exhale in frustration.

‘No, I’ll just get a Diet Coke I think. It’s loud in here, don’t you think?’

‘I think this is just what a pool party is supposed to be like,’ Holly explained.

She was hoping that Kim would come out of her shell and be a bit more positive and upbeat today. ‘Honestly, take my advice and just enjoy it before it’s over. Try not to worry about home at all. We’re not going to be here long! We’re all the way in Vegas now, so let’s just have a good time,’ Holly told her brightly. ‘Anyway, I’m going to get a cocktail. Diet Coke, was it?’

‘Please,’ Kim said as she bent down to search her bag for her sunglasses. ‘I can’t really drink in the daytime any more; just goes straight to my head.’

Holly knew she had to accept Kim had changed in the past few years, but she knew her fun side was in there somewhere. She was no longer a daytime drinker and preferred to sleep rather than go out. Since when would Kim not have a cocktail round a swimming pool? They were on holiday. If you couldn’t drink in the daytime on holiday, then when could you? Holly was determined to bring her out of her shell.

It was getting louder at the pool party and now there was a DJ standing in the booth. Holly was elated to spot Emma, Charlie and a few others walking through the entrance. She waved her hands wildly as though they were going to miss her, beaming with joy as they walked over. She quickly scanned the small group of them, feeling a little gutted that Max hadn’t yet arrived. She was really looking forward to seeing him, even though she felt a little nervous about it.

‘Drinks?’ Holly offered, as Emma danced over with the broadest smile on her face.

Emma hugged her. ‘How cool is it here? Let’s do a whip, shall we? We can buy a few jugs of cocktails and loads of beers for the boys so we don’t have to keep coming and ordering.’ She looked round. ‘Where are you sitting? Did Kim make it out today?’

As Holly’s gaze landed on Kim, she tried to contain her laughter. She was lying down, reading her book with a huge sunhat on, as girls around her flounced around in tiny two pieces, drinking, dancing and splashing in the water. ‘She’s just over there.’

‘Come, let’s leave Charlie to take our order and we’ll sort the money out in a bit. Let’s go see Kim,’ she said happily.

‘Just a Diet Coke too, Charlie, if that’s okay? For Kim,’ Holly added hastily.

Emma gasped in mock-offence. ‘Diet Coke? Charlie, just pretend you didn’t hear that. She’s not drinking a Diet Coke when she’s out with us,’ she said cheekily, pulling Holly along behind her.

‘Kim!’ Emma practically jumped on top of her, making her scream.

‘Em, you frightened the life out of me!’ Kim said in a high-pitched voice with a smile on her face, looking pleased to see her. ‘How are you?’

‘I’m good. Amazing. About to get married, can you believe? Thank you so much for coming all the way out here. I honestly feel so lucky to have people to make such an effort for me,’ Emma told them graciously, sitting on the edge of Kim’s sun lounger.

‘Ah, I’m so pleased to be here,’ Kim gushed. ‘I can’t wait to see your dress. You’re looking tiny by the way,’ she commented, pointing and admiring Emma’s toned figure through her white kaftan. ‘Holly mentioned that we were coming to help you with flowers or something? What time are we going?’

‘We’ll stay here for about an hour and a half and then get a taxi there. Thanks for agreeing to come.’

‘Is that Charlie over there?’ Kim questioned. ‘I’ve only ever seen him on your Instagram. He looks lovely. I bet you can’t wait to get married; you two literally look like the dream couple.’

‘Definitely can’t wait,’ Emma replied in a shrilly voice. ‘I’m so lucky. I can’t wait to start trying for a baby like you girls. I’ll be coming to you both soon for lots of advice I hope. Then I can join you on your kids’ days out.’

‘Don’t get too excited,’ Holly laughed heartily. ‘I’d happily never see another baby group again, but seriously, we can’t wait for you to join us either. Are you going to start trying straight away?’ Holly asked curiously.

‘That’s the plan,’ Emma said cheerfully. ‘Hopefully I’ll be pregnant by the end of the summer…’ she tailed off.

‘How exciting,’ Kim replied, her eyes glittery.

‘Oh look, there’s Max and Callum,’ Emma announced, looking over to the entrance.

Holly felt her heart gallop at the sight of Max and Callum as she narrowed her eyes trying to make them out.

‘Oh my God,’ Kim said, her eyes widening and mouth forming an ‘o’ shape. ‘They’re hot. Wait, that’s the guy you tried to set me up with?’ she asked Holly. ‘The dark-haired one? Jeez. If I’d known he’d turn out like that I would have ditched Lee in a heartbeat,’ she giggled girlishly.

‘Yes, that’s him,’ Holly replied, wishing Kim would stop staring. It was so obvious they were discussing him. Not cool in the slightest. ‘He didn’t exactly look like that at college though.’

‘What exactly happened between you two last night anyway?’ Emma asked, grinning.

Holly flapped her hand dismissively, feeling her face growing hotter. ‘It was nothing, honestly. Nothing at all.’ She didn’t want to admit how much she liked him already. Holly had always kept her cards close to her chest where men were concerned. She hardly knew Max and she didn’t even know if he liked her back yet. He may go around kissing everyone for all she knew. She remembered once at her school prom when she told everyone she really liked a boy called Matt Renshaw. She’d been spending quite a bit of time with him, and he’d hinted a few times he liked her as more than a friend. Everyone had teased her about it for ages, but Holly had never admitted it, too afraid of rejection. All girl friends got so excited when one night she finally said she did have feelings for him, trying to persuade her to go over to him to chat. When Holly finally gathered the courage to walk over to him, Matt started kissing a girl called Sarah Bentley. There had been tongues and everything and Holly had felt humiliated as she gazed at her friends’ pitying glances. She’d left it too late. Matt had got bored of waiting for her and was moving on. She’d have much preferred to never have said she liked him in the first place. That way, no-one would have been any the wiser over how sad she’d felt about the whole thing. For months Holly felt embarrassed every time she spotted Matt and Sarah together. The last she heard, Matt was still with Sarah and they had two little boys together so it all worked out for the best in the end.

Charlie walked over with their drinks and Emma poured them out their cocktails. Holly noticed that Kim introduced herself straight away, taking a cocktail without even questioning where her Diet Coke was, much to Holly’s surprise. Then she noticed Kim put away her sun hat and take her shorts off, looking round at what everyone else was wearing.

‘I kind of wish I’d made a bit more effort with my swimwear now,’ Holly heard Kim say to Emma. ‘I’ve had this costume for years. I really should have gone shopping before coming here.’

Emma shook her head dismissively. ‘You look great. I hope I look as good as you after two children,’ she said sweetly. ‘Besides, there’s tons of shops in Vegas if you want to go shopping.’

‘That would be great – maybe we could go after the flowers or something?’ Kim said hopefully. ‘I may just go and freshen up a bit in the ladies,’ she told her. She glanced in Holly’s direction. ‘Need to go?’

‘No, I’m okay,’ Holly replied.

Kim seemed to be more up for it now since the others had arrived and Holly was glad.

Max and Callum walked over to where they were standing.

‘Hey,’ Max said in a friendly voice. ‘What’s everyone drinking?’

Charlie signalled to the table of drinks. ‘Beers are here mate,’ he pointed out, ‘just join the whip and help yourself.’

‘Cheers,’ Max replied, peeling off his white t-shirt to reveal the most stunning body Holly had ever seen. He was muscular, but not too big, with several tattoos on his chest and a sleeve tattoo on his right arm. Holly wasn’t really into guys with huge muscles like some personal trainers, so the fact he had just the right amount made him even more perfect. If someone asked her to draw her dream man, she’d be drawing Max. His skin was bronzed already, smooth and flawless. She felt her heart skip a beat when he looked in her direction with a smoldering gaze.

‘Hi Holly,’ he smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek. She could see his eyes roaming up and down her body through his sunglasses. ‘How you feeling this morning?’ he asked.

He was so confident and charming, and without a doubt the most handsome man she’d ever kissed. Holly wasn’t shallow and she knew looks weren’t everything, but she couldn’t recall a time she’d been so drawn to someone. She couldn’t recall ever fantasizing about someone the way she had done the past morning about Max. She’d found Rob attractive when they first met, but it was his personality that had made him more appealing the longer they’d dated. With Max, she could just stare at him all day. He was literally her type to a ‘T’, and so far, he seemed to have the personality to match.

‘Hey,’ Callum smiled in her direction and Holly couldn’t help but notice he was in amazing shape too. Being a gym owner, she guessed it was part and parcel of the job to look good. He literally had no excuse not to go. She felt slightly guilty looking at their sculpted bodies. She hadn’t gone to the gym in years. Firstly she didn’t have time having the children and secondly, even if she did, she knew she wouldn’t pick the gym over shopping and getting a manicure. It just wasn’t a priority of hers at all, but with Max being a personal trainer, she was starting to think about taking more of an interest. Then again, she wasn’t ever going to be a tiny size six parading around in a bikini and she was okay with that. Bikinis were now out of the window; her two children had seen to that. Being a size ten/twelve, Holly wasn’t exactly big in any way, but her skin was a bit crinkled on her lower stomach and she had a few silver stretch marks, something she tried to view in a positive light. They were marks to show she’d made it through childbirth and was lucky enough to have delivered two healthy, beautiful babies; Marks she was proud of, but not quite brave enough to show to the world.