One Who Moved Out to Get Rich
“Hong, did you know that you could open up a restaurant?” I bragged giving her a cuddle and a kiss.
“Oh! really, where can this be?” She asks with a smile.
“Of course, here in China”, I replied. I tell her that Chinese food tastes suitable for the Chinese, but if you add Western herbs to dishes in your restaurant, you would undoubtedly reduce competition.
After eating, Hong grabs plates and heads to the kitchen to wash them. I mix cocktail for myself while watching the movie.
“Today, the first floor must be cleaned up”. Hong says commandingly while going out of the kitchen. “I have always been cleaning the second floor myself, it is now your turn”, she grumbles.
I look surprises wondering what could have sparked off her bad mood. I think it is time to relax and enjoying the evening. She kills my spirit. According to Chinese tradition, a house must be swept and cleaned, the day before the New Year, to cleanse it from the previous year’s burdens. I quickly jump to help put chairs in place.
I ask Hong to give me a broom to clean up.
“Go back, I will do this myself, all you know is to come when I have done most of the work”, she murmurs amidst outbursts. I feel offended but ignored her. When I return to the living room, the movie had ended. I decid to retire to bed.
The New Year’s celebration is as important to Chinese, as it is to Germans. It is one of the most important festivals in the year.
Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve, the CNY. Today we want to go and book a cheap holiday to Thailand, or at least to discuss booking it.
After work tomorrow, I will be going to Hong’s parent’s house to have dinner together as a family. That is the Chinese tradition. They will be expecting us and, they will prepare our over-night stay.
After getting ready, we leave home in Taicang to go and start giving out “Hongbaos”. These are the lucky money gifts which are wrapped in small red envelopes to give away during the Chinese New Year Festival holidays. Hongbao comes from two words, Hong (red), and Bao (bag). In China, giving away red bags with money wrapped inside is standard practice. It also applies to weddings and birthday celebrations. There is an exciting story that Hong tells me.
“It is about a migrant worker with a large family who used to spend fifty thousands of his sixty thousand Renminbi annual earnings buying Hongbaos. Family celebrations can sometimes be expensive.
Even if you decide to cancel the event for any reason, you will still be obliged to pay. It is the tradition.”
The first people that we give our Hongbaos were the gatekeeper of our residential complex and our driver. Hong is going to drive, on our way to her parents' place. Indeed, she does, and we arrive safely.
We are in Suzhou, at Hong's parent's home, for dinner. I have lived in China for many years; I have never seen such a lavishly laid the table like this, because I have visited many places during the CNY festivals with girlfriends, to enjoy the sun, and the weather.
The reminiscent ones were in 2012 when my girlfriend Jacqueline and I went to Bali. In 2011, Pan Pan and I went to the Philippines, in 2010, I went to Malaysia with Vickey, and in 2009 I was with my Chinese teacher in Yunnan. But uhhh!! Oh God! I forgot her name, but I remember, I had to put up with the teacher because by then she was a real binge drinker. Before, I used to come to China to meet business people during the CNY. This season, tradesmen have time and spend money because of the festive holidays.
That was a long time ago, it is time to remember. I went to many countries enjoying holidays and spending lavishly. I could not care less about money, and I used to foot the bill for all holiday trips. But since I got married to Hong, I am now seriously committed to Chinese family life. My life changed a lot; for example, I no longer spend lots of money eating out. I believe that home-cooked food is much healthier than the one prepared outside, where many artificial flavours and enhancers are added to make money. A survey carried out revealed that in some restaurants in China, pork is "chemically marinated" after slaughter, and sold expensively as beef to make more money.
At home, focus is on taste, not on cost savings. Therefore, Li Gengnan spends hours in his kitchen to prepare delicious meals.
Hong resembled her mother Wu Meilan in body structure, and she is the smallest in the family. She always reiterates the importance of eating various traditional Chinese dishes.
“This fish is called Li Yu. Fish is pronounced as "Yü" but written as Yu. Sounds like “left over”, means in coming new year you will have a lot of money left, and therefore you will become rich.”
At Hong's parent's home, we also have rice cakes on the dinner table we are enjoying the meal. Hong passes a small cake of rice over to me.
“In the Chinese language, "Nian", means year, and "Gao" means cake, but it also means "high", concerning salary. It is traditionally believed that eating a rice cake, is equated" to becoming rich since it associates to earning a higher salary. "I have passed the rice cake over to you, eat it you will get richer", Hong said jokingly, looking at me.
"Of course, I would love that, who wouldn't?”
In Chinese tradition, eating eggs filled with minced meat, known as
Dan Jiao
, increases your chances of wealth. Therefore, when you consume many of them, you get too much "
Jin Yuan Bao
", a monetary currency used during the Jin Dynasty.
On the other side of the dinner table, there is a bowl of yellow bean sprouts. The shape of the dish reminds me of a lucky Chinese charm called "Ru Yi", that is responsible for keeping you in good health. Yes, indeed, I couldn't wait to feast on the contents within this bowl, after the incredibly lavish dinner to balance the diet. At the dining table, Hong asks whether I know what " Rou Yuan" is.
"Yes, I do, they are meatballs representing the family's gathering at the Spring Festival, which is also another name for CNY" I replied while helping myself with some of it from the bowl. I am munching them unreservedly, after all, it is a day to celebrate.
My mother-in-law Wu Meilan encourages me to help myself even more with food in the rice bowl. China has many varieties of rice, and the most popular is the glue rice.
This time of the year, over dinner, the conversation mainly revolves around celebration and the mass migration of Chinese.
There is even a name for it, and it is called " Chun Yun". In the Chinese language "Chun" means Spring season, whereas "Yun", stands for transport. Although it may not sound that poetic, it is how the name came about. During the Chinese New Year celebrations, around eight hundred million people swarm trains to go to their distant hometowns and villages. It can sometimes be a big challenge for logistics and transportation.
This period is so busy that tickets are sold out online within minutes. Migrant workers who cannot access the internet would struggle to get tickets. Some can still manage to get official tickets without seats; the problem is enduring many miles standing, in a country many times bigger than Germany. People can travel for over forty hours before reaching their destination. Think about those without seats, it is incredibly discomforting. That in place, however, some opt to buy "black-market" tickets, from the so-called "Yellow-Ox Group", albeit at exorbitant prices, especially for those travelling as a family in a group.
After the Spring Festival, the situation starts to calm back to normal. Prices for train tickets go down, but the situation remains dramatic during the rush hours, especially for the many low-income earners, who struggle to go back to their places of work in time.
After the festive dinner, Hong and I receive a small piece of gold, made in the image of a horse's head. The significance of the gift is that when Hong produces children in future, they would also receive a similar piece of gold. This gesture seemes to be luring Hong and me into having offsprings, for her parents to get grandchildren to raise. She has, however, told them that she would rather have children abroad, than in a polluted environment.
On the first day of the New Year, the Chinese usually stay at home. People believe that visiting other people's families on this day, would drain money from them and pass it over to the other family.
As common sense would have it, no one would love to part with their money, more so 'being given to others', just like that. The belief maintains that if one stayed home on this day, " Shou Cai", a traditional greeting ushering in wealth and prosperity, would be there to hold and protect the property.
On New Year's Day, Hong and I travel to the city using the metro train. The newly launched train contributed to the value increase of house properties in the area, including Hong's parent's home. We walk by the riverside using the pedestrian pathway. Farmers sell their products, mainly to the tourists who throng this ever-busy place.
The locals use mopeds or cars using narrow streets, to access the area. Hong and I treat ourselves with a Tofu soup, and grilled lamb roasted on a spit, and flatbread.
After spending a night with the in-laws, Hong and I go to visit her ageing grandparents, and cousins, who were each given a Hongbao. As a couple, you must give money to relatives with children; it is a tradition. Most relatives were living a stone's throw away, so we do not go far. And, there are a few visits because the apartments were cold. People prefer to keep themselves in their homes. The second New Year's Day is also another busy one, because traditionally it is the "Son-In-Law Day". If you do not attend the New Year's Day, the tradition is that on the second New Year's Day, you must visit your wife's family. Fortunately for me, I was already there, which made it easier.
In the morning of the third New Year's Day, Hong drives me and her parents to Wetland Park on Taihu Lake. The weather is not all that good, we are, however, not much bothered with it. All we do is to enjoy the excursion, so we continu to see the hot springs. There are various springs under a vast heated dome, and you can comfortably bathe in them. We are unluck. We are told to return home because we had not made a reservation at the hot springs reception office to be allowed in. We all look at each other. "What is the meaning of this?", one of them echoes inaudibly. We have no choice but to return home. All tickets had already been booked. As expected, the place is at times overcrowded being a big touristic attraction. We missed the chance to see these hot springs. Hong was still feeling cold. She jumps on the wheel, and we drive back home.
It is perhaps a bad day. While we are driving back home, a dog suddenly runs into the road, straight in front of our car. "Oh! not again!" Hong exclaims. Before she even finished the sentence, the four-legged friend slightly hit himself on the vehicle. It was the second time for Hong to run into a dog. Fortunately, this time, the animal escaps it into the nearby bush with minor injuries. We are all left in shock.
"This can't be a good year if such an accident happens to us shortly after the CNY! We might not get children this year!" Hong observes. On hearing about not having children, I smile reservedly.
I observe that Hong's mother, who is sitting next to me in the back seat is not thrilled. When we reach home, we notice that our car had a slight dent due to the minor accident earlier with the dog.
Hopefully, the insurance will repair the damage.
In China, and in many other parts of the world women prepare something to eat for the family, in Hong's family, it is the other way around. It has been happening for decades. Here it is Hong’s father who is always in the kitchen. Li Gengnan is, however, an excellent cook. His meals are delicious. Traditionally, this time of the year, a meal cannot be Chinese, if it misses Nian Gao, a small round rice cake. Nian Goa is sometimes known as the Chinese New Year's cake.
In Chinese tradition, it is considered good luck to eat Nian Gao, a homonym for the "higher year" symbolising higher income, higher position, growth of children, and promise of a better life. So, eating Nian Gao, is considered good luck, during the Chinese New Year period.
After dinner, I go to skype, to talk with my son Daniel, about creating a homepage. Daniel is a student of “Computing and Digital Media” in Augsburg. He designs websites for a German company between semesters. I ask to join us for a Thailand vacation, but he refuses.
“My opinion about the security situation in Thailand is, depending on what I were reading in newspapers and watching on television at that time, I advise that it is not safe to travel to Thailand.”
Hong thinks, Daniel since he is a well-travelled person who always knows his way around. I disagreed with him because a few years back, when I was on holiday there, it was beautiful and peaceful.
I am not in any way threatened. Already Hong and I are planning to go for a holiday in Thailand, after the new year's celebrations. I ask Hong what she thought of a beach holiday in Pattaya, a prominent tourist resort for foreigners. Pattaya is only two hours drive south of Bangkok. I chose this place because I invested money to buy an apartment some years ago. It should be built on a mountain overlooking the sea. I still vividly remember everything about this brochure, even though it is ages ago today.
Despite Daniel's warnings, Hong surprisingly agreed that we go to Thailand.
“I want to see where your money is gone”, she smiled.
That night, we booked the holiday online, using a Chinese travel agency. Hong pulled out her credit card to pay, but it did not work at first. In an angry mood, she banged the keyboard, asking herself what the problem was, but after trying a couple of times, the payment went through.
In China, employers are generous in approving additional holidays. For wedding, I got 10 vacation days from HR department.
I should get only three, as I was married before, but they ignored this law. In Germany, a special holiday you get is generally on your wedding day. The reason for the Chinese's flexibility on allowing generous holidays, is likely to bet that people get married early, perhaps get children, from which the state would benefit, for the pension fund. But I am not a Chinese…
That time, I was thinking about the Chinese emperor in Dietfurt near Eichstätt in Bavaria, Germany. Sometimes such spontaneous thoughts come my way. I told Hong how the Dietfurt population hid under the wall when the Bishop of Eichstätt wanted to collect taxes.
"Coward like the Chinese," the bishop scolded them, and since then a Chinese emperor with a concubine and carriages ruled there for fun, not just for the annual carnival.4
It is cold and wet outside. According to the weather forecast, we expect snow tomorrow. Whatever the weather will be, I will have to go to the bank, to invest my savings on interest. Although in China, banks open even on bank holidays, Hong advises me to go on the first working day, after the Chinese New Year, because it is when banks will charge low-interest rates. While she was telling me this, I noticed that something was not well with her. She seemed to be in excruciating pain. Around this time of the month, she usually experiences the same problem due to her menstrual cycles. As if unconcerned with pain, she pulled out her phone to show me a new app which shows the best time when to have a child, and when one should be careful not just to conceive when you are not ready. On opening the app, her dates were matching.
But wait a minute, I thought it was the very Hong who said after the incident of knocking down a dog a few days ago, that this horse year was not good to have children! Why is she now thinking about children, and showing me the app? I asked myself inwardly. I was perplexed because she said herself that she did not want to have children in a polluted environment like that of China. But I did not mind much about it. I would find out from my in-laws whether they also supported the idea of not having children outside of China.
The night of the fifth day after the New Year was time to remember. A loud whistle of the remaining fireworks works was blown, to honour and celebrate the birth of the God of property. I know that for the European reading this now, you should be surprised to hear of the worshipping of GOD here since religions is not a popular ideology in China. Many Chinese believe in Buddha and Taoism, where there are many different gods. There is also the God of marriage, and Guan Yin–Pusa, Goddess of compassion.
Godness of compassion observes all the sounds of suffering in the world and gives children to humanity and their supervision.
My father-in-law’s’ birthday coincides with the Chinese New Year' today, so we shall "kill two birds with one stone ", celebrating the fifth day of the New Year, as well as his birthday. Hong told me that every Chinese gets an extra year older, according to the Chinese lunar calendar. If you take this tradition closely, it would mean that every Chinese gets two birthdays in a year. However, this custom is slowly fading away; it is being celebrated mostly by the older generation. The young age follows the Western calendar, and therefore, they celebrate this day every year on the same date.
I check on my emails regularly. Being a busy person, I sometimes wake up at night to do that. On New Year's Day, I received an email from Germany, requesting for some calculations, and yesterday I received another one asking whether I had done the calculations. I had sent a note to my bosses that I would be absent for some days, until the seventh of February after the celebrations.
Hong asked me what present we were going to buy for her father's birthday. She prefered flowers. I had a different opinion. I was thinking of buying a grey jacket from Germany, but I was not sure whether Hong would like it. However, Li Gengnan, prefers an egg clock, and kitchen utensils. Getting all these presents wouldn't have been a problem, because many shops in China are open on bank holidays, but time was not on our side. The party was starting in a few hours, followed by lunch dinner. I quickly put on my suit, grabbed Hong to head for the nearby flower shop. Thick fog and the slowly fading cloud of last night's fireworks were still hovering above. When we came back from the shops, guests were already arriving at my in-law's place. Some were sitting on the couch in the living room.
Hong gives me the red envelopes with banknotes inside that I have to hand over to the children. Everybody was thankful. The Presence of elders of the family at the party is something that will make them proud. Hong and I present our presents, the bouquet and Grey Jacket in the restaurant. Party gifts are not bound by particular rules. You give what you can. Children from low-income families get freebies such as pens, books and other small items that would fit within the budget of the one buying the gift. Wealthier families, however, spend as much as they want, with whatever they can. I prefer everyone to be present when opening a gift, give a handshake, to who has given it to me rather than thanking them on the phone or otherwise. The typical procedure here, though, is to unwrap gifts after people have left, I disagree with it. There is something that seems strange for us Europeans when it comes to donating gifts.
In China, when you invite someone, traditionally you are obliged to present a gift. Above all, you must also include a receipt of the item you bought, especially in the case of gifts to children. It is done to make sure that when people get children in future, they would also receive presents of the same value, as those which they donated.
The party is going on. Children have been playing and screaming for the last three hours now. Bottles of rice liquor are slowly going down throats of guests. Food leftovers are happily packed to be taken home by whoever wants to. After many had left that evening, we continued as a family gulping down beers while enjoying the food too. After the party celebrations, Hong, her father, and two of the family acquaintances start playing Mahjong, a tile game, very popular in China. Mahjong is believed to have widely spread after 1905, taking over Chess.
I asked Hong why Mahjong is a game for only four people. "It's just a matter of only people being able to play." She replied. I am only a foreigner I don't know the rules of this game, that is why I had to ask. Wang, one of the family acquaintances, is an old army friend of Li Gengnan. They have been friends for a very long time since days when they were working in northern China. Wang is a Buddhist; he is a vegetarian and lives with monks.
He lives in a temple in Suzhou, working as a driver in a Germany company that I know as well.
"The only difference is that Wang has hair on his head, which is very rare for monks" Hong observed amusedly.
After spending time with guests, I am getting bored. I decide to go to the living room and have a look at birthday gifts. These gifts are somehow different from those given out in Germany. These are kiwis, apples, and many other types of fruits. Nuts are also part of the gifts given out. Every gift is expensive, of high quality, and nicely packaged. There is another wrap of a bouquet.
Hong joins me in the living room and took the opportunity to ask me to teach her the right way to do reverse parking on the curb.
She suggests that we get out, despite the coldness and practically show her how they do it. I do not resist, because I am used to her abrupt decisions about doing things, insisting on them to be done the way she wants. We go out in the cold night together, we then sit in an old VW Jetta that belongs to Li Gengnan. I start with simple tasks, which she grabs quickly, and masters in a few minutes. Hong is thrilled and jokingly says that I could become an excellent driving instructor. I smile back, thankfully.
"Yes, I mean teaching only beautiful women how to park", she says, pointing her upper lip towards me.
“Wait a minute, what is all this? Is this a market gap?” I tease her back.
She shruggs me off, pretending to be annoyed, but later huggs me with a lovely kiss and a smile.
“Yes, ideally you are a quick learner, I am now going to teach you how to play billiards, and dancing”, I say, looking directly into her eyes. The night is cold again. When I go for a shower in the morning, I realize that we hardly had warm water. As I explained earlier on, in the West, red colour on the water tap stands for hot water, blue stands for cold water. I was still tipsy because of the previous night's drinking. So, when I opened the red tap, ice-cold water gushed out on to me. It instantly sobers me back to my senses.
I scream still wondering why in China red colour stands for cold water and blue for hot water. It does not make sense to me at all. The theory of the Five Elements, which include wood, fire, metal, water and earth, was born in Daoism China, about 2000 B.C. It is these Five Elements around which the dynamic process of change, were assigned in China.
This theory started with four cardinal elements. Since then, endless assignments such as shapes, seasons, animals, and even colours surfaced. For Westerners, fire is logically represented by red, and metal with white/grey. In China, I am confused even up to now, why yellow represents earth; black representing water, and wood with green. I don't understand a thing. In China red colour, as you may already know, stands for wealth and joy. Green is also associated with wealth, harmony, and health, which does not differ much from us in the Western world. However, when it comes to colours of items of clothing, a green hat, for example, symbolizes infidelity, and a cheated husband. Yellow colour as in dress stands for neutrality and happiness. Yellow is the most prestigious colour, which is why the emperor's clothes, palaces, altars and temples were all decorated in yellow colour. Black is the colour of the northern sky, revered as the colour of kings. Despite its brightness and purity, white symbolizes death and suffering, it is common at funerals.