They’ll probably throw a sack over him after the first council, with the intention of drowning him in the sea and thus getting rid of all his advice. As it is, there is often great competition between ministers, fierce disputes are carried on, and treacherous intrigues are plotted. With a female queen, the cronies vie for power. And here comes some dwarf-sized scarecrow to assert his rights.
Rosamunda herself would never offend anyone, especially funny animals of any kind, even fairy-tale ones. But here were her ministers who were sometimes cruel to petitioners and even to each other. Maybe that’s why things weren’t going too well in the kingdom.
«You can’t do without my advice,» Dandy insisted.
Why not? She has a whole company of adult and experienced advisers, so what good is a dwarf?
«I’m the only one who can climb into every hole in the world and find out exactly what danger awaits you. I can climb into the council of your enemies who are planning to make war on you and find out all their plans. No one would even notice me.»
«Then you should be a spy, not a counselor.»
«It is reasonable, but not quite,» Dandy began to groom her like a cavalier in love, stroking the ermine on her dress with his claws. «You are beautiful, but quite naive. I’m creepy, you don’t have to hold up a mirror to me, I know I’m no match for you. But you can’t do it without my cunning. And here’s my first piece of advice: you want to know if a real dragon is really attacking your domain, so go and check for yourself. Don’t listen to anyone else! They can all lie. Take a carriage and I’ll be your coachman, so that none of your servants will say anything to anyone. We’ll ride together to the mountains where the dragon is rumored to nest. And you can see for yourself if it’s true or fairy tale.»
Sounds like a good idea! Rosamunda thought for a moment. Maybe she should pay attention to what he said.
«I’d rather send my warlord.»
«How do you know you can trust him? What if he wants to usurp power? Then he’ll only tell you what’s good for him. Either he’ll make up a pack of dragons that doesn’t exist to scare you, or he’ll claim he hasn’t found any to put you off your guard.»
«Is everyone that deceitful?»
«People want power,» Dandy said admonishingly. «And only you should have power. To keep it in your hands, you have to sniff it out yourself. Otherwise you will be given in marriage to some old man or your bully warlord by force. If you want to remain sole queen, you’ll not only have to see the dragon, but even tame it.»
«But how is it?» Rosamunda felt sick at the thought of dragon fire.
«How do you do this?» Dandy pointed with his claw at the cracks in the floor and columns. They weren’t here yesterday. And today she’s angry and they’re here.
«It’s the earthquake, not me.»
«Earthquakes are always caused by someone. Trust me, I know from experience. If it’s not you, there’s a powerful sorcerer living in the cellars of your castle. Or he could hide among your courtiers.»
«Don’t scare me like that!»
«A queen should not be frightened of anything,» Dandy shook his index claw instructively. «Especially it is a dragon that could serve you profitably.»
«What fairy tales!»
«I knew a queen who tamed a dragon. True, they had so many scandals that everything went up in flames. But when the dragon got drunk, he served her like a faithful dog.»
«What are you talking about?» Rosamunda exclaimed judgmentally, but Dandy didn’t seem to hear her.
«By the way, the dragon was gold, and the queen was greedy, but she knew perfectly well that it was not worth skinning it for the treasury, when in a live form it could get more profit for her than the precious scales alone were worth.»
«Surely you were her advisor,» Rosamunda quipped.
«Alas, I was not. Unlike you, she was cunning without me. She managed to wrest that dragon from an entire royal clan from an enemy power. She didn’t hesitate to poach him. What a clever little beast!»
«Where does that queen live?»
«It is in Fallot.»
«That’s not that far. We could send her a message and see if you can verify what you say.
«Don’t! She won’t answer you honestly anyway. Her Majesty, the red-haired Queen Seraphina has always been devilishly cunning.»
«Does the dragon still serve her?»
«Not anymore! Now is your chance to lure him into her service. It won’t be difficult with your outward abilities.»
«You speak of the dragon as if he were a young man.»
Dandy laughed softly. An unpleasant rumbling echo traveled through the hall, flying into every crevice. Rosamunda looked around cautiously. Had any of the counselors heard the laughter? Or else they would think that it was the devil himself laughing, and she, the queen, who had called him, and who should be declared a witch and sent to the stake.
«Listen! Only a witch can control a dragon, right?»
«I thought of it myself!» Dandy grinned slyly.
«Well, I’m not a witch! Then I shouldn’t even look at it. It’s too dangerous.»
She wanted to run away, but the insolent clawed counselor clutched at her hem. He’s so intrusive! He can’t be moved by force! He looks small, but he’s as strong as a giant.
«Stop it! You must go to the mountains and see if the dragon is real. If you don’t check it yourself, everyone will fool you with fairy tales.»
«But you said yourself he’s not fictional.»
«It is not in Fallot! But in the mountains of your kingdom, who knows? I haven’t climbed there and I haven’t checked. I leave that privilege to the ruler of the land, which is you.»
This could be some kind of trap! He’s been luring her into the mountains with too much persistence. On the other hand, what does she have to lose by sneaking up there? And if her hunch is correct, and her anger can make the earth shake and crack, sucking in an entire enemy army, then she has nothing to fear from the conspirators or even the dragon.
«It is all right, you got it!»
Dandy scraped the already cracked marble floor with the claws of his lower paws in joy.
«I’ll go steal a carriage!»
«It’s easier to just borrow one from the stables.»
«No, then everyone will know who’s riding it. And we need to maintain our incognito. I’d rather they think the carriage was stolen.»
«But then we’ll be chased by the guards.»
«With your skills, it wouldn’t be hard for them to fall into the first ravine that cracks in the road.»
«Why should I go to such lengths for a dragon?»
«It is for you first and foremost! You need a fire-breathing protector or you’ll die.»
It was a fire-breathing problem! But Rosamunda remained silent. It would be useless to argue with Dandy, and if she called the guards, he would dash into the first crevice and disappear there, and then appear in her bedroom at night like a bogeyman from a nightmare. It’s better to make a deal with him.
