The First Part of King Henry the Fourth

ACT II. Scene I. Rochester. An inn yard

Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.

1. Car. Heigh-ho! an it be not four by the day, I'll be hang'd. Charles' wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not pack'd. – What, ostler! Ost. [within] Anon, anon. 1. Car. I prithee, Tom, beat Cut's saddle, put a few flocks inthe point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers out of all cess.

Enter another Carrier.

2. Car. Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that isthe next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turnedupside down since Robin Ostler died. 1. Car. Poor fellow never joyed since the price of oats rose.It was the death of him. 2. Car. I think this be the most villanous house in all Londonroad for fleas. I am stung like a tench. 1. Car. Like a tench I By the mass, there is ne'er a kingchristen could be better bit than I have been since the first cock. 2. Car. Why, they will allow us ne'er a jordan, and then weleak in your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a loach. 1. Car. What, ostler! come away and be hang'd! come away! 2. Car. I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be delivered as far as Charing Cross. 1. Car. God's body! the turkeys in my pannier are quitestarved. What, ostler! A plague on thee! hast thou never an eye in thy head? Canst not hear? An 'twere not as good deed as drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come, and behang'd! Hast no faith in thee?

Enter Gadshill.

Gads. Good morrow, carriers. What's o'clock? 1. Car. I think it be two o'clock. Gads. I prithee lend me this lantern to see my gelding in the stable. 1. Car. Nay, by God, soft! I know a trick worth two of that, i' faith. Gads. I pray thee lend me thine. 2. Car. Ay, when? canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth he?Marry, I'll see thee hang'd first! Gads. Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London? 2. Car. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee. Come, neighbour Mugs, we'll call up the gentlemen. They will along with company, for they have great charge.Exeunt [Carriers] Gads. What, ho! chamberlain!

Enter Chamberlain.

Cham. At hand, quoth pickpurse. Gads. That's even as fair as- 'at hand, quoth the chamberlain';for thou variest no more from picking of purses than givingdirection doth from labouring: thou layest the plot how. Cham. Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that Itold you yesternight. There's a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard himtell it to one of his company last night at supper- a kind ofauditor; one that hath abundance of charge too, God knows what. Theyare up already and call for eggs and butter. They will away presently. Gads. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas' clerks,I'll give thee this neck. Cham. No, I'll none of it. I pray thee keep that for thehangman; for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a manof falsehood may. Gads. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I'llmake a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs withme, and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut! there are other Troyans that thou dream'st not of, the which for sport sakeare content to do the profession some grace; that would (ifmatters should be look'd into) for their own credit sake make allwhole. I am joined with no foot land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these mad mustachio purple-hued maltworms;but with nobility, and tranquillity, burgomasters and greatoneyers, such as can hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak,and speak sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray; and yet, zounds, I lie; for they pray continually to their saint, the commonwealth, or rather, not pray to her, but prey on her,for they ride up and down on her and make her their boots. Cham. What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold outwater in foul way? Gads. She will, she will! Justice hath liquor'd her. We stealas in a castle, cocksure. We have the receipt of fernseed, we walk invisible. Cham. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to thenight than to fernseed for your walking invisible. Gads. Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in ourpurchase, as I and a true man. Cham. Nay, rather let me have it, as you are a false thief. Gads. Go to; 'homo' is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddyknave.Exeunt

Scene II. The highway near Gadshill

Enter Prince and Poins.

Poins. Come, shelter, shelter! I have remov'd Falstaff's horse,and he frets like a gumm'd velvet. Prince. Stand close. [They step aside.]

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. Poins! Poins, and be hang'd! Poins! Prince. I comes forward I Peace, ye fat-kidney'd rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep! Fal. Where's Poins, Hal? Prince. He is walk'd up to the top of the hill. I'll go seekhim. [Steps aside.] Fal. I am accurs'd to rob in that thief's company. The rascalhath removed my horse and tied him I know not where. If I travelbut four foot by the squire further afoot, I shall break my wind. Well, I doubt not but to die a fair death for all this, if I scape hanging for killing that rogue. I have forsworn hiscompany hourly any time this two-and-twenty years, and yet I ambewitch'd with the rogue's company. If the rascal have not given me medicines to make me love him, I'll be hang'd. It could notbe else. I have drunk medicines. Poins! Hal! A plague upon youboth! Bardolph! Peto! I'll starve ere I'll rob a foot further. An 'twere not as good a deed as drink to turn true man and toleave these rogues, I am the veriest varlet that ever chewed with a tooth. Eight yards of uneven ground is threescore and tenmiles afoot with me, and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another! (They whistle.) Whew! A plague upon you all! Give memy horse, you rogues! give me my horse and be hang'd! Prince. [comes forward] Peace, ye fat-guts! Lie down, lay thineear close to the ground, and list if thou canst hear the tread of travellers. Fal. Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down?'Sblood, I'll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot again for all thecoin in thy father's exchequer. What a plague mean ye to colt me

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