"Where have you been, bitch" – through the tears and a smile rushed to hug his light.
History repeated itself. There was also tea brewed on herbs, and twenty minutes not without benefit spent, and Svetka's story about how she lived these three years and hoped and waited that he will return here that at least once to look into his eyes and to remember one of the most memorable evenings of the life. Sveta became even more beautiful, more relaxed and more desirable. Now there were no obstacles to create a new happy family and the proposal to become a second wife Bears embodied in reality, only now the second wife in life, not on the bed.
To his mother with his sister, he arrived in the evening and not alone. She asks family liked it, and this sympathy was mutual. What else do you need? The Foundation of the new family was laid for three years, and today the formwork was removed, and the first brick was laid in the long-term construction.
Lived in the city, the rest went for a weekend in the village Svetkin house. I didn't want to go to the resorts, go to the movies, go somewhere far away together to strengthen the relationship… it was all unnecessary. In the morning Bear with a joyful and happy smile went to work, and in the evening happily hurried home. He dreamed about it long ago, and here came true. Sveta also found an interesting job in the rehabilitation center, gave lectures, and they gave their results.
***
Thirty years have passed since then.
***
Mikhail Sergeyevich is still happy, lives with Svetlana Viktorovna, who brings up two children a year with age difference in joy and love. The children were already under thirty, they have all evolved quite naturally and calmly, measured.
And now, in the minds of our heroes, there was only one unsolved problem, a thought that every day more and more tugged at the consciousness. What was that all about? Are there actually people who can change the scenario of fate, are we in your life Directors of their movie, or everything that happens, happens to the smallest details in the written script. After all, remembering the past, you realize that not just for a long time were not born children with their first wife, that is not just so, once it was necessary to be in an unfamiliar village. That's the way it was necessary to get acquainted with his future wife, and it is not immediately, but only after only three years. We had to decide to go to her mother's sister in the Saturday morning, and, accordingly, it was necessary to make the Friday night walk, revealshow childhood memories, when I flew the route two village "gouging", leading our hero is in the village, to the same girl. And, in the end, it was necessary to die to the father a day before I brought a family photo with which all this history began.
Then it does not fit into the head of how a single mechanism intertwines several destinies, and in fact the fate of all those who participate in our lives, so that the circumstances of our life evolved in a very certain way. Accordingly, our destiny and we regulate a number of destinies of all those whom we meet on our way of life. And if so, then it can not touch friends, acquaintances, acquaintances of our friends, up to random, or then "random" in quotes, passers-by, who in those seconds and minutes when they see how we pass, direct their gaze at us, bypassing what they do not need to see. Mutual fates form the lives of specific people, cities, regions, civilizations. To look at this mechanism at least one eye, but judging by the fact that we do not see it, we should not know about it…
Strength test
Late autumn. In the children's boarding school №7 all preparing for the night. Behind the streaks of hastily wiped Windows, one can see falling yellow leaves of trees. There, behind the grocery store has almost disappeared the sun and the nurse, for half an hour trying to put the children to sleep.
"Vitya, what are you doing here? All gone to bed, your comrades for the second dream, I suppose, you see, and you're here. Go.»
"I don't want to dream, nanny. Because every time I dream the same dream that never comes true."
The nurse took my hand and led me to our bedroom. The guys pretended to be asleep, and only when the nurse came out, the room gradually began to open the dreary eyes of the same poor fellows, like me. When in a half-asleep state I turned over on other side and turned the head on a pillow in other party, felt sharp pain from fresh put bruise by the senior children. We didn't share the ball on the Playground, and I got a black eye. But this pain could not be compared with the one that burned my heart every day.
"Mom, how did it happen that I was here when you pick me up" – I whispered quietly and helplessly.
And now, being a forty-year-old man who does not have his own home, no family, no sensible work, I still feel this chest pain. But one fact still causes a stingy smile-so there is still something to hurt, there is still something that feels, and therefore not all burned…
***
At the city airport I sat on watch for the seventh year. Who not only had to work during the period of his worthless existence. The loader was in a warehouse, the security guard worked Nemer, the janitor, the receiver of glass container, the postman, I very much liked this work, but the drunk company which met me on the way sent me for two months to hospital, with multiple bruises and the crack in a bone which has received as a result of blow by a baseball bat on a foot. But as a child I often fought and accustomed to endure pain, and the wounds will heal and life will go on. Here in the hospital I met an employee of the city airport, who later helped me to get here, and here I am working in this quiet place for six and a half years. The place is good, I am eternally grateful, to the neighbor on chamber that it helped me to settle here, unfortunately, it here worked not long, and here five years I didn't meet it. Airport employees, of course, I know in person and even some know something from history.
Vaughn Alexander Samuilovich-Director of our airport, passed.
«Hello.»
Here come the dispatcher
«Good morning»
Here are the cleaners have already finished the shift, going home…
"All the best, goodbye…»
Well, here's day two. And in my spare time I clean two entrances in the neighboring house. Work is not so much, and all, some no penny. Of course more difficult in the winter, the snow laid all the time, but nothing but have something to do.
People here are nice, always say Hello, and not "for show", but with a soul, a human being. It is a pleasure to work with such people. Girls sometimes second entrance while waiting for the guys, say to me a word, a couple three minutes of precious communication, and then for them come in expensive cars with open Windows, which rumbles music. Girls about thirty, and they all walk, have fun. So funny. A couple of years ago, I had a friend with charming blue eyes. But then she moved to another city, and I stayed here. Were the girls at the youth… but that was long ago it was, and there was not anything interesting.
"Great, Vitek" -shouted from around the corner. It was two brothers from the third apartment, we sometimes sit with them on a bench in the evenings. -Come here?»
They went with the" two " beer to our shop. I finished sweeping around the entrance and joined them.
"You heard, to us here in the sixteenth apartment new residents are occupied. Ignatia grandmother sold the apartment, moved out to the daughter in Stavropol, and we're gonna have new neighbors, let's see what there is for fruit."
"No, I haven't heard anything about it»
"And look, "zilok" pulls, just seems they're taking things. Well, what's that, what's that???»
To the first entrance a car came along, I stood next to ZIL. Out of the car is not a familiar family, the movers jumped off the truck, and began to carry things to the entrance.
A man, forty-forty-five years old, a woman with him looks pretty well, two daughters, probably them, ran after the movers.
"Okay, guys, I have an early day tomorrow for a change, well catch you there sometime and get acquainted" – and I went home to my room in the Dorm allocated to the airport.
***
When I was walking home next to the road, a big black car stopped not far from me, the tinted glass of the front passenger door came down, from which a shaved man looked out.
"Hey, bro, you don't need a job?"he said in a hoarse voice.
I looked around, there was no one around me.
"Yes you, you say, a hundred bucks a day plus a meal, but we must decide right now»
"And what should be done?"I asked.
"You worked as a security guard? Well, that's generally the same, but the level is different. So what? Thinking?".
"Well, I can't right now… I have a shift in the morning. If there is only according to the schedule agree»
"You che you are stupid, you brother, you on change for a month pay so much how many here in two days you will have, let solve a question, and tomorrow evening after six we will approach you".
All evening I was tormented by doubts: "it is Interesting, it is interesting, money certainly would not prevent very much, but that there for work such highly paid and why addressed to me – it is not clear. I did not quit yet, I agreed with the shift workers to work together for a couple of weeks without me, and then the situation will become clear."
In the evening of the next day I got a call at the door. On the threshold stood the same clean-shaven man. Without waiting for my invitation, he came, threw on my sofa, ironed strict suit, a large package of food and said that tomorrow at six in the morning will come for me.
"You have to be at the parade by six, full, clean and shaved," the uninvited guest said, pointing to his beard.
"Wait, I haven't agreed to work with you yet?»
"Do you mind?"– don't looking back already sitting in the doorway, delivered the guy.
It was somehow not with his hands, and feeling his intonation is insecure.
"No…" I said hoarsely.
"So, until six in the morning" – a man slammed the door.
***
I have been so delicious did not eat, Yes, frankly, do not remember eating there ever be something like that. In the left package there were fresh vegetables, baked ham, two kinds of sausages, shrimp in vinegar, fresh loaf, Ukrainian bread, red caviar – tasty…, and some convolutions with cookies and some sweets.
Rights was Alentova in the movie "Moscow does not believe in tears," saying that after forty life is just beginning. Full and happy I lay down on the sofa, turned on the old TV and dozed off quietly.
***
A knock on the door woke me up. When I opened it, I saw the same man who promised to stop by at six in the morning yesterday.
"Yeah, well, I didn't think you'd be ready for shit by six, so I stopped by at five in the morning. Get ready, come on – " he told me as I was already running into the bathroom with a towel.
By half-past six I was ready, and we moved to the exit. In the car sat another man-the driver, he gave me a hand with a hundred dollars, and we have reigned full of love and mutual respect.
A couple of hours driving on a country road. The boys didn't drop a word. When we turned to the abandoned warehouse, which was crowded with people, the driver gave me the trunk and said:
"You are able to address as far as I know, among those guys ours isn't present so if that, don't spare cartridges. We will speak, and you little by little delve."
We've stayed in. Exited. We were surrounded by seven healthy guys with machine guns, one of them took a step forward.
"Hey guys," yelled our driver, obviously not sociable of companions.
"Let's get down to business" – calm and measured voice stretched out to us hunched boy. Then my new bald friend came out to the guys.
"Che there, our boys did not share? Was, like all agreements, it's ours, it's yours, all in the subject, why talk about that place?»
"It used to be so, now it's different. So that is not the topic you get. This is the spot we took control of last week, and your boys went in there, so they didn't just shoot the boys. If the "Cossack"is not enough, and you can put here, then surely will understand what's what."
"Not dust, mate, well put, we pair the three of you to the light will catch and that will be of little, there will be new arrows, raids, boys will continue to crumble, and yours and ours. This Saturday will be a gathering, let Matthew come, all poreshat there yourself, install a new partition or leave the former, that's their business. And there already will look, to whom where to go will not have. Will solve the problem in your direction, no questions will fall off…»
"Wait, make the call, Matthew will decide," replied the opponent.
While the guy explained the situation to his master, I understand that may last seconds of breathing in the white light, that if we will give him a waiver, it will put us here in a moment, and then nobody even will remember about us, about me. I looked at the sky, it was clear, looked at the trees around, at the grass … then took off the fuse gun in his pocket and seriously began to observe the situation.
The guy dropped the phone, turned to us, looked at my guys, we were waiting for, then again he pressed the phone to his ear and quietly said, "Okay, I understand." Then he came up to us. Said, " Matthew's not going anywhere. Your skhodnyak it doesn't interest, it works one, there is a desire to show – risk, you will begin to behave incorrectly, we will shoot. One thing is clear-this point no longer belongs to you. So, "Cossack" and pass, conversations will no longer be, if a further section will have questions, then let your patrons themselves to Matthew come, let us decide. All, free."
I started moving away from the event only in the car. I felt chills and uncontrollable trembling in my knees. We went to a country house Kazakov, Sergey Andreyevich, as you can see, my new Manager, barefoot. I did not know who this man was and what he was doing, but one thing was clear, his business was not simple.
We were invited to his office, where the guys talked about how the meeting took place. Looked like, what weapons they were carrying, how many were there, on some machines, the state rooms with machines dictated into the record, and I, for one, didn't even think to look at them. Passed the whole conversation.
Sergey Andreevich sent guys to the street, and told me to sit still. Then took from the table some papers, leafed through, put them on the table and stared at me.
"Well, Vitaly Igorevich, how are you feeling?"I was somewhat surprised.
Reading my silent question in his eyes, he continued:"I know, I know, I know a lot about you, even what you don't know."
"Like?"– I was interested- " and why do you call me Vitaly when my name is Victor?".
"For example, the fact that your mother, who left you at such an early age, is still alive, and not so far from here lives. For example, what's your real name Sinitsyn Vitaly Igorevich, the mother in a hurry, as can be seen, confused, and maybe in a boarding school a hearing problem was when your data is recorded".
I was silent, not very trusting, but still it was interesting. And my head, got up, walked to the casket of brandy, poured, drank and continued: "dad, sorry, can't help, it's been twenty years and mother will have no problems, I don't think you'd mind," he sat down, put the paper aside and in a different tone said, "I know you worked a long time in security, I know about your merits, you know, that you know how to shoot, and know that in addition to the old mother, which is very much in need of expensive medical treatment, you have no one, so I did. Yesterday put four of my guys. Put on the lawlessness, but today Matthew will not, nor his home, nor he himself, nor his men, this problem I decide, and my boys me no one will return. Let's continue with us, you will earn money normally, you will put mother on feet and to live, at last you will begin".
"Yes, I, in General, have already agreed to the guys."
"I haven't yet!"– cut the head.
"Everything is normal, we work. When can I see my mother?"I replied.
"Now boys will throw you to it, on the way back will take away, next day. Then you will go to it in your free time. The car will give, but not immediately. Have you forgotten how to drive?»
"I'll make up for it," I said happily.
***
I was brought to a backwoods village, to an old house at an angle.
The guys dropped me off, gave me a sheet in his hands, which was a photo and below information.
"It's your mother," said a familiar bald man, "you talked until the morning hours at nine tomorrow will take you."
The car left, and I carefully entered the old house. There was nobody inside. First impression – "holopka" waif. Walked around the house. Kitchen, hall, bedroom, corridor-none of this. There is only one not very large room, which is kitchen table, two rickety chairs, one half of the sofa, the second no, the Windows no curtains, no table cloths, there are no blankets, some bales of stuff, shelves, barely holding on pendulous spikes in the corner of the old stained utensils. There is no refrigerator, no TV, no electric kettle, nothing that is included in today's purely everyday household needs. And electricity as you can see here are disconnected for non-payment. Is this really where my mother lives? After walking around the room, I didn't see a single photo, a single document, nothing. Leave on street. Still quite the sun shone brightly, and after dark Barack unusually light hit the eyes.
Walked around the house. There are no buildings. No bath, no wood shed, not even a toilet. Yes there is no, perhaps, guys made a mistake address, when said, that mother lives in this house, the more homes here from each other not strongly the and differ. Godforsaken place. And there is no place to sit down, and what to sit, who to wait for, maybe there is no one here for months. Well, to look around though that-L. what is this area.
Walked for two hours, walked the whole village up and down. Very quiet village, with one well, which crowded several people with buckets. And it seemed to me that the yoke and two buckets passed long ago in the annals, and here, please, people so live. Dressed, of course, they are frankly not rich, but I like a white crow in a black suit which attracts the attention here as anywhere else.
Returned to the said house. There was still no one in it. No one came, because the straw, rested me before leaving the door, as before, stood in its place. I looked once again at the sheet that I was given by current colleagues, crushed it and threw it right there. Began to think about where to spend the night. Not far from the house stood three burly wood. Their mighty branches they formed a good shelter, in case of rain, well, here and settle. A tiring and stressful day today. And, perhaps, now every day will be something like this, risky, dangerous, but well-paid. I did not even dream of earning as much as I was offered here. It under one hundred thousand a month turns out if every day to work-it was thought to me lying under trees – if this month you will live. I hid better for the jacket the gun that gave me the guys in Dumka began as if to doze.
Through a faint dream I heard voices. I opened his eyes, raised his head and saw a little girl about eight years old helps carry the half-empty bucket and scary looking hag. When he reached the house the girl raised carelessly thrown me the sheet and said:
"Bab Paul, you're in the picture!!!»
Grandma looked at the paper, then the girl, then began to look around, and seeing me walking, froze in anticipation.
With each step I changed my state of mind, changed facial expression, changed mood, with crazy speeds in my head thoughts. I didn't know whether to rejoice or cry, I didn't know what to do, what to say, to whom I would say it, and whether this someone would listen to what I would say…
When I came, I saw exhausted, sunken melancholy eyes of the elderly woman, who never for a moment tore me burn opinion.
"What do you want?"he said aggressive and cruel she is.
Probably, I would not believe that visually you can find something native in a person who has never met in my life, in my case, has not seen almost all my life. I don't know what I saw, I don't fully understand what made me realize that the people who hired me were right. Eyes, as eyes, his mouth as his mouth, eyelids, eyebrows, cheekbones, chin, I have all quite another, but something me with a hundred percentage guarantee of gave understand, that before me is worth my mother. The one I've been waiting for nearly forty years. The one that I wanted to see with all my heart, loved and hated with all my heart, the one that came to me countless times in a dream. Yes, Yes, damn it, it's because she was in those dreams that I had stopped seeing many years ago.
"What Waaam, Nooooo?"once more, but she stretched out more fiercely.
And through gushing tears flow do not obey consciousness, I quietly and timidly defenseless, as you might say thirty years ago then at boarding school in every second, waiting, whispered:
"Hello, mother.…»
Grandma was stupefied. The girl, silence, looked, like a grown tall man shed tears, and didn't understand.
"Hello, mother" – already more firmly, strictly and with a share of aggression, I said.
The grandmother looked silently into my eyes, she peered as if into every atom of the structure of my eyes, and only when tears flowed from her dried eyes, she bowed her head already very quietly, and fragile said:
"My Vitalik is alive," and pulled the handkerchief from her head, putting her old hands to her eyes.
***
Grandma told the girls to go to her house, and called me into the house. I took a bucket of water and brought it to the house.
I didn't know how to behave. Rather hug her and squeeze her, as I saw in my imagination, piercing all these years, or imprinting her in the wall for what disfigured my childhood and, in fact, all my life. After all, for all these years I have not had a single friend who was from a full respectable family, not a single friend from the secular society. All my life I communicated with the same forgotten and abandoned to some extent people. I was nothing, and I grew up nothing. The employee on watch at the city airport is not the future I dreamed of. What have I seen? What I achieved? It's been written all my life on my face, "godforsaken loser." So what should I do now?
Mother didn't know how to behave either. I saw her reading every thought I had, and she kept looking into my eyes, and then she looked down at the floor. She sat down on the sofa, asked me to sit next to her, but I sat across from her on the floor. The room overflowed dreary silent second note, which seemed to last forever.
"Well, tell" – a quiet but firm voice spoke to mother me.
Mother kept quiet. She wasn't looking at me, sitting motionless, and did not know where to fall, from this difficult situation. Through tears and convulsive shaking of the whole body, she only repeated with a trembling voice – " Vitalik.... my boy… my son… my… alive."
Mixed feelings blazed in me. And it seems to approach, calm, but do not obey the hands and feet. Sitting on the floor, watching, listening.
"You must hate me," she said in a raspy voice.…
I silently looked at the mother, supporting the dialogue.
"How did you find me?»
"No matter" – I cut – " you tell me why life crippled myself and me? You know very well what I want you to say, so what do you expect? About myself, about my father, about me, you know? Forty years I don't know who I am, why I live and what I live it."
"Sinitsyn Igor Leonidovich-that was the name of your father. We were married for four years, then you came along. And, probably, it was the last joyful event in our life".
My mother stood up, came up to me and sat down next to me on the floor.
"You don't think, I just gave you to the orphanage. Your father wanted you to grow up in a wealthy family that didn't know poverty. He put on the card all that we had, I did not know about it, otherwise of course would have stopped, but he lost big. People on whom he counted, brought him and disappeared with the money taken for the services, and we remained without housing, the car and means of existence. Take everything. My father then began confusion, he was placed in a psychiatric hospital."