My Hero Theo

When any officer is found doing those types of speeds there’s an investigation, which happens to ascertain whether the speed was warranted or not. I was grounded, which meant I couldn’t drive the police van while they investigated. It was protocol, but it benched Riley and me and meant I couldn’t go on jobs. Frustration grew: I wanted to do this role, I was a dog handler with passion and it was like going to work with your hands tied behind your back. I was putting Riley in kennels every day and working another role in general policing while the investigation reached its conclusion – not something that was going to happen fast just because I was frustrated and wanted it to.

It was while I was benched that I had an argument with the chief inspector. I’d had enough of feeling like I was on probation again doing general policing. I couldn’t work with Riley and while I desperately wanted to, I also missed him massively. We’d spent every waking moment together since we passed out and suddenly not having him as my partner felt like I’d taken a huge step back. With the luxury of hindsight, I hadn’t taken my foot off the brake since we’d started working together. I’d dealt with a lot of tough jobs and nearly lost my life and my dog on some occasions, but my way of coping had been to keep motoring on and take my mind off the worst jobs by going on still more jobs. But with a regular beat and time to think, things were starting to catch up with me and I wasn’t coping.

In the meeting with the chief inspector as part of the investigation, I raised my voice and started shouting, not something I should have done and not something any police officer is advised to do. I was already grounded for speeding and now a member of the public had also put in a complaint against me. Before I’d been grounded, Claire’s dad had been very ill and I’d stopped by in the van for a few minutes on a shift in between jobs to drop something off to him and check how he was doing. A neighbour had seen Riley in the van and registered a complaint. They were right: I shouldn’t have done it during the time I was on shift, but I didn’t care about right and wrong. I saw it as a small infringement against a backdrop of massive success. In short, I thought they should give me a longer leash (excuse the pun) because I was such a successful handler. It didn’t occur to me for a second that rules are rules and no one is exempt.

The chief inspector tried to see things from my side, telling me just because I was getting good results it didn’t mean I was above the establishment, but I was so stubborn I wasn’t interested. I’d started to work autonomously but you can’t do that when you’re in the police: teamwork is what makes us. I managed to get away with a warning for swearing at him but was told in no uncertain terms I was on my last warning.

As I continued general policing, my stress levels went through the roof while the investigation meandered its way towards a conclusion. I was on shift a few weeks after raising my voice and knew I’d hear in the next few days whether the investigation would wrap up without discipline or whether I’d be punished.

I was at my computer in the office when I heard the familiar sound of an email arrive: I was grounded for six and a half months. I felt hot, sick and I saw red. I pushed the computer off my desk, stormed out and that was that. It was January 2010. I knew I’d fucked up. I was moved off the dogs indefinitely while I was disciplined and investigated for speeding, which could take months. In what felt like a heartbeat I’d gone from being the most successful dog handler in Greater Manchester Police with a girlfriend who adored him to a frustrated general police officer who was struggling to communicate with the woman he loved. Claire had been worried sick about what was happening at work but I’d been selfishly so worried about myself, I didn’t have the bandwidth to assuage her fears. Stress had inevitably built up and the dynamic of our loving and affectionate relationship had started to change because of me.

Being benched usually meant you’d be back working soon but being moved off indefinitely and facing a disciplinary and an investigation, even being optimistic I knew I wouldn’t get back to the unit anytime soon. I was looking at months rather than weeks. It wasn’t something I could contemplate no matter how often Claire gently tried to raise the subject.

I started working an office job – I was in uniform every day but doing paperwork, no policing as I saw it. It was a far cry from the shifts I’d loved. I was doing general policing, events in the city, political party conferences. I’d go on shift sometimes and clear out stationery cupboards. I had nothing to do and I hated it – I’d gone from being a respected handler to someone they didn’t really know what to do with. All the while there were baddies on the streets who were getting away with crimes while Riley was stuck in kennels getting bored and I was rearranging paper clips.

I’d drop Riley into kennels at Hough End, go to the city centre or the nick and do my day’s pedestrian policing, go back to the kennels and get Riley and go home – it was so frustrating. It wasn’t Riley’s fault he couldn’t work, it was mine. In addition to knowing I’d let myself down, I’d also let him down and every single day I felt guilty for that. He was an amazing piece of kit with the capabilities to make the streets safer and put people away but, because I’d been so stupid, he sat languishing with boredom in a kennel. He was really well looked after but he loved to work and, because of me, he couldn’t. Pent-up, he couldn’t understand why we weren’t out on the streets and I couldn’t explain it to him.

There are many fantastic things about the Dog Unit and one of them is that they’ll never pair your dog to work with anyone else if you’re under investigation, facing disciplinary action or off on long-term sickness. The Armed Forces dogs change handlers like they change socks, and by the time an army dog retires he could have been with upwards of ten handlers as deployment rotations mean there need to be changes, but that doesn’t happen in the police. When you pass out with your dog or puppy unless there are extenuating circumstances you’re partners until they finish their service. The one thing I could rely on was that they’d never take Riley off me to work with another officer: we were a team and they respected that. In the same way that if Riley was injured, I wouldn’t work another dog while he recovered.

For me the hardest part was that I didn’t know when the period of me being off the dogs would end. Stressed and angry all the time, I wasn’t able to work with my dog and I hated being told I couldn’t. I was angry, upset and bored – so bored of not being able to do what I’d trained to do. I kept pushing it with every senior officer I could find to get an answer, but no one would commit me to a time frame. I was desperate to get back on the dogs, get back to Riley, but all I could do was learn patience and wait.

While work was increasingly frustrating, the stress Claire and I had been under had thawed. She knew how bereft I was at being taken off the dogs and she knew I’d learned my lesson. Arrogance and ego had brought me to my knees and I accepted 100 per cent of the blame. It meant the fear and worry she’d had for me lessened because she knew I’d be a different handler when I did get back to work with Riley.

In May 2010, I was at work on yet another shift I wasn’t invested in when I opened my lunchbox and a note fell to the floor. It was from Claire: she told me she was ready for us to have a baby. I couldn’t have been happier – work might have been something I was tolerating rather than loving at that point, but home was finally perfect. Claire was one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. I was so proud when she agreed to go out with me and now she was agreeing to have a child with me. For the first time in months, I had something to smile about.

In June of that year we went away to Turkey and Claire fell pregnant. I was working a political party conference when I received a text message from her: ‘You’re going to be a dad!’ Overwhelmed and with my work life in tatters, it was the light at the end of the tunnel I desperately needed. A few hours later, though, towards the end of my shift, I was called into the superintendent’s office. I knew I’d get told off – a substantial slap on the wrist – but the thought of finally getting back to work with Riley was something I’d been dreaming about at night. So I put my number one uniform on and, having polished my shoes the previous night, I wanted them to know I took whatever the punishment was seriously. I wanted them to know I accepted the gravitas of the situation and that it wasn’t a minor misdemeanour.

I knew from other handlers I worked with and from chatting at the kennels every day when I dropped Riley off that unit arrests had gone down without me working Riley. Now I couldn’t wait to make up for lost time and get back on the streets. I knew I wouldn’t be the only one happy to be back too – I couldn’t wait to get Riley, take him home, celebrate Claire’s pregnancy and my return to work. I was thinking about what takeaway we’d get to celebrate when I was called in to the superintendent’s office. Rather than a telling-off and some humble pie, his next words floored me: ‘You’re off the dogs for good, Gareth.’

I didn’t hear anything past those words. My whole world fell apart and I felt the room starting to swim around me.

The job I’d dreamed of as a kid was over.

I’d blown it.

Me.

I’d let myself down but, more than that, I’d let Riley down.

I had no pride left and, while I fought back tears and sniffed my way through the meeting, if I apologised once then I said sorry twenty times. I was like a child begging for one more chance, one more go to put things right.

‘G’ had messed up and Gareth’s world was broken.

I was gently told I couldn’t behave like I had, that if they let it go unpunished then it could have serious repercussions and they had no choice but to take me off the dogs. Finally, giving in to tears, I asked my last question of the meeting: ‘Am I ever going to be allowed to be a dog handler again?’ I was told I could apply for future positions, but I had to go away and reflect on what had happened.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.