The Doctor's Undoing
Well—maybe his family had been more surprised. His dad had predicted Ron would drop out of medical school when it got too tough. His mother had worried aloud that Ron wasn’t doctor material, and that he’d only been setting himself up for disappointment. None of his siblings thought he’d ever make anything of himself; they’d expected him to settle for the same aimless and unfulfilling existence they led themselves.
He’d made it through the interviews and had been placed on the alternates list for admission. Even then, he’d waited to be told that he hadn’t made it in. Apparently, enough first-choice applicants had declined to open up a slot for him. Rather dazed to have gotten that far, he’d secured his loans and shown up for classes—only to be slammed by the reality of the commitment he had made when he found out just how hard medical school really was. He’d been unprepared for the long hours, the constant stress, the sleep deprivation, the massive amounts of information he had been expected to learn and access on demand. Several times, he’d almost chucked it all and taken to his heels.
Only a few things had kept him on course. His pride, which had made him reluctant to admit to his family that they’d been right about him not being cut out to be a doctor. His deep desire to enter a career in which he felt he could make a difference in other people’s lives. And the people of his close-knit and incredibly encouraging study group—including Haley, whose refusal to let anyone around her concede defeat had been as inspiring as it was irritating at times.
Maybe at the back of his mind he’d kept the comforting thought that he could always move on to something else if this didn’t work out. His life wouldn’t end if he didn’t become a doctor. He’d survive if he didn’t pass the next test, or score high enough on Step 1 of the national medical licensing exam. But somehow, he’d continued to pass—maybe not with the highest grades in the class, but respectably enough to remain in good standing. And he’d passed Step 1, news he had learned only days earlier. So, it seemed that he might just become a doctor, after all.
Amazing.
“If not psychiatry, have you given any more thought to what type of medicine you want to practice, James?” Haley asked curiously. “Have you narrowed the choices down since the last time we all got together?”
Connor was the only one in the group who seemed certain about his area of specialty. He’d intended from the start to practice family medicine. Anne had entered school saying she wanted to be a surgeon like her father, grandfather and brother; now she said she might be interested in obstetrics and gynecology, which would include some surgery.
James, Haley and Ron had all kept their options open, for various reasons. Ron because he simply didn’t know, yet, what he wanted to do. He hoped he’d figure it out sometime during rotations. He had less than a year and a half before he would start interviewing for residency programs.
James smiled wryly in response to Haley’s question. “Who knows? Maybe I’ll enter law school after I’ve earned this degree.”
Everyone laughed, as James obviously expected, but Ron wondered if there was any truth in the threat. Though Ron considered James one of his two closest male friends, he had to admit he didn’t always know what was going on in James’s head. James was friendly, generous, easy to talk to, always supportive—but private to the extent that even his friends weren’t always sure they knew him very well. Ron wouldn’t be surprised by anything James decided to do after medical school—even law school.
“What about you, Ron?” Connor asked, distracting him from his musings about James. “Reached any decisions yet?”
Ron shrugged. “Still thinking pediatrics. Or maybe geriatrics.”
Connor laughed. “Quite the range there.”
Smiling sheepishly, Ron nodded. “Yeah. I like kids and seniors. You can count on both of them to tell you what they’re really thinking.”
“Not to mention that both groups always laugh at your silly jokes,” Haley pointed out.
He grinned at her. “There’s that, too.”
“How’s it going on the VA wards?” James included both Haley and Ron in the question as he reached for his wineglass.
Ron spoke before Haley had the chance. “Haley’s excelling, of course. The most prepared, most eager and most helpful medical student on the rotation. Her resident loves her.”
Haley sighed gustily in response to Ron’s teasing.
James chuckled. “I have to admit, I miss Haley’s motivational minispeeches when I try to study by myself in the evenings to prepare for the next day’s sessions.”
Haley smiled at him. “Just give me a call whenever you need a motivating speech. I always have one or two prepared.”
“I’ll do that.” James smiled back at her, and Ron found himself having to smooth a frown, for some reason.
“Darn it.” Anne scowled down at her lap, into which she had just dropped a bite of her entrée. “Now I’ve got a splatter of sauce on my skirt. Of course it missed the napkin entirely.”
“I’ve got one of those stain removal pens in my purse,” Haley offered immediately. “Let’s go to the ladies’ room and I’ll help you.”
Anne slid toward the edge of the booth. “Thanks, Haley.”
Standing to let Anne out, Ron nodded wryly. “That’s our Haley. Always prepared for anything.”
Haley punched him in the arm when she passed him on the way to the restroom with Anne. Rubbing the stinging spot ruefully, he chuckled as he returned to his seat.
“How are the two of you getting along on the wards?” Connor asked, having watched the interplay.
“Fine,” Ron assured him. “Now that some of the pressure of exams are behind us, she’s a lot more relaxed. Not as touchy.”
Both Connor and James looked at him with raised eyebrows.
“What?”
“You’re blaming those last few months of conflict on Haley?” James asked skeptically.
“Well, maybe not all of it.” Ron took a sip of his beer to avoid meeting his friends’ eyes. “Maybe I teased her a couple of times when she wasn’t in the mood for joking.”
“And maybe you made a few cutting remarks about her boyfriend,” Connor murmured into his own glass.
“Ex-boyfriend,” Ron corrected with a scowl. “The guy was a doormat. Followed Haley around like a puppy. No personality of his own at all. I don’t know what she ever saw in him in the first place.”
The other two men exchanged an amused glance, and Ron figured they were thinking of Kris’s dimples or muscles or some of the other superficial attributes that had probably attracted Haley to the guy. Feeling his good mood begin to disintegrate, he quickly changed the subject, sharing a funny story from the wards. He was both pleased and relieved when his friends laughed and contributed a couple of amusing stories from their own experiences during the past couple of weeks, all being careful to follow privacy rules and not mention names or specifics about their patients.
Medical anecdotes he could handle. Talking about Haley and her good-looking ex-boyfriend—not so much.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better today, Ms. McMillan.” Haley smiled at the former Air Force nurse who sat in a recliner in a private room, snugly wrapped in a hospital blanket. She was still on supplemental oxygen as well as the antibiotics dripping into the IV tubing connected to her left arm, but her condition had improved considerably during the night. “It’s good that you feel well enough to sit up for a while.”
“Feels good to get out of that bed,” Georgia McMillan agreed with a firm nod of her gray head, followed by a rattling cough. Catching her breath, she eyed Haley narrowly. “Don’t smoke, do you?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Good. Don’t start.” She coughed more forcefully while Haley studied her chart.
“I won’t. Are you okay?”
Catching her breath, the patient waved off Haley’s question with one thin hand. “I’m as okay as I ever am these days. Feel a whole lot better than I did when I was admitted, anyway.”
“That’s good to hear.” Haley jotted a couple of notes on the back of Ms. McMillan’s H & P, then folded the paper and stuck it into her coat pocket.
“You look like you got some rest last night.”
A little surprised by the comment, Haley glanced up from the patient chart. “Yes, I slept very well, thank you.”
“I remember my medical training. Ain’t easy, is it?”
Chuckling, she pulled her stethoscope from another pocket. “No, ma’am, it isn’t.”
“Just hope you never have to practice in a tent with shells exploding around you.”
“I can’t imagine working under those conditions.”
Georgia enjoyed talking about her experiences in a war zone and Haley usually liked listening to the stories. Unfortunately, she was running a little behind this morning because of complications with one of her other two patients, and she was beginning to worry she wouldn’t have her notes completed in time for rounds. She mentally crossed her fingers that Dr. Cudahy wouldn’t choose today to show up early.
She was just preparing to leave the room when Georgia startled her yet again. “Has that boy asked you out yet?”
Haley paused in midstep toward the door. “Which boy is that, Ms. McMillan?”
“That cute blondish student with the sexy smile. The one who’s always grinning at you.”
Haley laughed self-consciously. “You mean Ron? He’s a friend. A classmate. We aren’t—”
“You might not be, but he is,” Georgia cut in with a wicked smile that showed a hint of the saucy young woman she’d once been.
Smiling wryly, Haley shook her head. “You don’t see the way he acts when we’re not on rounds. He goes to great lengths to tease and torment me.”
Her patient nodded as if Haley had just confirmed her theory. “Men are still just big boys at heart. That’s his way of letting you know he’s got a crush on you.”
“Oh, I don’t think so.”
“I watch him while you’re giving your presentations on rounds. He can’t take his eyes from you.”
Haley was growing accustomed to odd and sometimes inappropriate comments from her patients, but for some reason, this conversation flustered her. “He’s just paying attention, Ms. McMillan. That’s the whole point of our rounds, so we’ll learn about the various conditions of the patients we’re seeing.”
“Hmm. The other student pays attention, too, but not the same way that boy does. You mark my words, he’s got it bad for you. Don’t you be surprised when he makes his move. And if I were you, I’d take him up on it. Nice-looking young doctor with a sense of humor and kind eyes—a girl could do a whole lot worse, let me tell you. As someone who’s been married three times, I know a bit about winners and losers,” she added with a phlegmy cackle.
“Well, I, um—” Haley gave her patient a strained smile. “I’ve got to run, Ms. McMillan. I’ll see you again in a little while during rounds.”
The woman nodded, looking tired when her impish smile faded. “Send my nurse in here, will you? Think I’m ready to get back in that bed, after all.”
“I will.”
Haley made her escape, letting out a whoosh of breath when the door closed behind her. She had to find a nurse, locate an available computer, type her notes and be ready for rounds in just under twenty minutes.
She had a feeling she would have to make a massive effort not to be distracted by Georgia McMillan’s outrageous comments while she tried to concentrate on her work. The woman had to be mistaken that she’d seen anything meaningful in the way Ron looked at her. Probably just entertaining herself with some romantic imagining. Because it couldn’t possibly be true that Ron had feelings for her—could it?
Swallowing hard, Haley pushed that unsettling question to the back of her mind and hurried to find Ms. McMillan’s nurse.
Chapter Two
Late Thursday afternoon, after a long day of morning rounds and an afternoon spent being a resident’s minion, Haley gathered her things in preparation for heading home. She didn’t have to report in that weekend, and she planned to spend the next two days doing laundry, catching up on housework and preparing for next week’s lectures. That would be her last week on wards; after that, she would move to internal medicine outpatient clinic for four weeks before beginning her pediatrics rotation.
But before starting pediatrics, she had to pass the internal medicine board exam, or the “shelf exam,” she reminded herself. Which meant more cramming. She was aware that she would spend the rest of her professional life continuing her education and being tested on her knowledge, but that was okay. It was part of the career she’d chosen, and she knew how important it was for a physician to stay current on the newest procedures and treatments. At least she’d be earning a living, rather than going further into debt, once she completed her fourth year of medical school.
Ron fell into step beside her when she headed for the elevator. Her medical student white coat was still spotless and crisp, even after a hard day’s work. The roomy pockets were full, but neatly organized. Ron’s coat was rather wrinkled, his pockets crammed with instruments, notes and medical reference materials. The coat had looked exactly the same way when he’d arrived that morning. Beneath it, his blue dress shirt was correspondingly crumpled, his red-print tie slightly askew and his khaki slacks creased at the knees. Though he was clean shaven, his disheveled sandy hair fell boyishly over his forehead, making him look a bit younger than his twenty-seven years.
The rumpled look certainly worked for him. For some reason, rather than unprofessional or scruffy, he looked appealing and earnest, like a man who had more on his mind than vanity. She was well aware of the way other women smiled at him when he passed them in the hallways. Ron might not be as movie-star handsome as their friend James, but Ron had a sexy charm of his own that he didn’t hesitate to fall back on when necessary.
Not that she was at all susceptible to that charm, she assured herself. She knew him too well to step into that snare.
“Long day, huh?” he asked as he reached around her to press the elevator call button. His arm brushed hers with the movement, and she stepped a bit too quickly away, earning a quizzical look from him.
“Yes,” she said, shifting her purse strap higher on her shoulder, vaguely hoping he’d think her retreat had been due to a slipping bag. Glancing around to make sure no one could overhear, she added, “Paulsen was in a mood this morning, wasn’t he?”
“No kidding. Thought he was going to chew a piece off poor Hardik’s hide.”
“I’m glad I got Dr. Carr for my resident. I work very well with him.”
“Yeah. I get along fine with Dr. Prickett. Just Hardik’s bad luck that he got Paulsen.”
Everyone knew there were some residents and attendings who enjoyed their power a little too much, especially when it came to abusing med students, nurses and lowly interns. Paulsen was one of the difficult ones. The power hierarchy in a teaching hospital was rigidly layered, often repressing and politically complicated, and it wasn’t hard to get on a superior’s bad side. Haley was relieved that she’d drawn a more patient, if perpetually harried, resident for her first rotation.
The elevator doors opened to an empty car, and they stepped in. Haley leaned against the far wall from Ron, appreciating the support. She really was tired. Her empty stomach reminded her that she’d been able to take only a few minutes for a quick lunch earlier, and she hoped she had something in her kitchen to eat that wouldn’t require much preparation.
“Want to go have some coffee?” Ron asked during their descent to the lobby. “I could use some caffeine before I start prepping for tomorrow’s didactic.”
“Um…coffee?”
“Yeah. James is meeting me at the usual place in a few minutes. I thought you might like to join us.”
“Oh. You and James.”
Ron frowned at her. “Is something wrong, Haley? You’re acting kind of odd today.”
Drawing herself straighter, she shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Just kind of brain-dead after a draining day.”
And then, to further convince him that nothing at all had changed between them…and why should it have?…she said brightly, “I’d love to have coffee with you and James. I’ll meet you there.”
He still looked at her as though something puzzled him, but she kept her smile in place as she headed for her car. Only when she was buckled into the driver’s seat did she allow it to fade. What was she doing, letting a random comment from a fanciful patient interfere with her friendship with her study pal? She and Ron had had their share of conflict, but romantic yearnings had never been an issue. Their problems were due entirely to conflicting personality traits, all the more reason to put Georgia’s mistaken observations and unsolicited advice out of her mind.
She must be more tired than she had realized. She could use a cup of coffee and a few laughs with her friends.
Because Haley was delayed by a red light, Ron was the first to reach the coffee shop. He was already placing his order when she got in line, and had secured a small table when she joined him with her skinny vanilla latte. “Looks like we beat James here,” she commented, slipping into a plastic chair.
“Looks like.”
Ron took a cautious sip of his own hot drink. “I was tempted by those muffins, but I figured I’d better eat some real food first,” he said after swallowing. “Had a sandwich and some chips for lunch, but they’re long since worn off.”
“I got half a salad down before I had to run help my resident with something,” she admitted. “I’m starving.”
“Want to go next door for Chinese after we finish these? We’ll see if James wants to join us.”
The fast-food Chinese place next door was good, quick and relatively inexpensive, all points in its favor. Haley nodded. “Sure. I’ve got time for some noodles before I hit the books.”
“Great. I’m not in the mood to cook for myself tonight.”
“Neither am I.” She sipped her coffee, trying to decide whether she should repeat her conversation with Georgia to him. Ron would probably get a kick out of the older woman’s misguided matchmaking efforts. He loved to share amusing stories. But for some reason, she kept the patient’s observations to herself. Maybe they hadn’t been all that funny, after all. Just…mistaken.
They chatted about their workday for a few minutes more before being interrupted by the chirp of Ron’s phone. He slipped it from its belt holder and glanced at the screen. “Text from James. He’s not going to be joining us, after all.”
“Oh? Nothing’s wrong, I hope.”
“No. Just having trouble with his car again.”
James’s classic sports car was notorious for mechanical problems, about which the study group had teased him often.
Ron shook his head as he returned the phone to its holder after sending an acknowledgment of the message. “Don’t know why he doesn’t give up on that car and buy a new one.”
“He loves that old car.” The car seemed to be the only inanimate object James did truly value. He’d even given it a name. Terri. If there was any personal significance to the name, he’d never said.
“Way more trouble than it’s worth. I’d have dumped it a long time ago.”
But then, that was Ron’s stated philosophy, Haley mused, gazing into her coffee cup. If something didn’t work out, or was more trouble than he deemed worthwhile, he walked away without looking back. He’d even proclaimed that he was prepared to do the same with medical school. If his grades had slipped or he’d failed one of the critical tests, he’d have taken it as a sign to move on, he’d insisted.
Haley had made no effort to hide her disapproval of that attitude. She was of the “Try, try again” credo herself. Ron had teased her during their first year of studying together that “Never give up. Never surrender!” should be her motto. The allusion had sailed over her head until he’d hosted the study group one blessedly study-free Saturday afternoon for pizza and a showing of a sci-fi spoof movie that was one of his favorite films. He’d performed a bowing, fist-against-the-heart salute every time he’d seen her for several months afterward, until she’d finally threatened to dropkick his computer if he kept it up. Although he hadn’t believed her—entirely—he’d finally grown tired of the joke and moved on to another one.
He drained his coffee. “Ready for noodles?”
She’d already agreed to eat with him. It would be a little too obvious to cancel just because James wasn’t coming along, after all. Besides, why shouldn’t she share a quick meal with Ron? she could only blame Georgia McMillan and her silly imaginings for making her suddenly self-conscious around her friend.
Telling herself this foolishness would all be forgotten by tomorrow, she pushed her empty coffee cup aside and reached for her purse.
Ron couldn’t quite figure out what it was, but something was off with Haley. She seemed to be lost somewhere in her own thoughts, though she made an effort to participate in their conversation. He couldn’t read the expression in her eyes, and her smiles looked a little distant. She didn’t seem annoyed with him—a common enough occurrence that he knew how to recognize those signs—but neither was she fully connecting with him this evening.
Setting down his chopsticks, he studied her from across the little table in the crowded Chinese restaurant. “What’s going on, Haley?”
She frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re acting weird. Have been ever since we left work today. Have I done something to tick you off again?”
She twisted noodles on her own disposable chopsticks, and he wondered if she was deliberately avoiding his gaze. “Have I ever not let you know when you’ve ticked me off?” she asked wryly.
“Well, no. But I think I know you well enough to tell when something is bothering you. Did something happen at work today?”
“Not…exactly.”
“What does that mean?”
She sighed a little and looked up from her bowl. “One of my patients said something that caught me a little off guard, but it’s no big deal, okay? It was just an observation she made that I think was inaccurate.”
Conscious of the patient privacy laws that had been drilled into them, he glanced around to make sure no one could hear them before leaning a little closer to respond. “The only ‘she’ you have is the one who always winks at me when we come into her room on rounds. What did she say?”
Haley shook her head. “You know we’re not supposed to discuss our patients outside the hospital.”
“Not if it’s a privacy issue,” he agreed. “Is that what it was? Is there something your resident should know, and you’re wondering how to tell him?”
She shook her head again. “It’s nothing like that. She was just teasing me. Let it go, Ron, okay?”
“Fine.” He wondered if she would have been so reticent with Anne. Or even James or Connor. But then he told himself to stop taking it so personally that she was holding something back from him. It wasn’t as if they told each other everything.
He’d become increasingly aware lately that there were a lot of things he didn’t understand about Haley. One would think after knowing her for two years, he’d have learned all there was to discover. And yet, it felt sometimes as if he’d barely scratched the surface of Haley Wright.
She gave another little shake of her head, as if clearing her mind of whatever had been bothering her, and quickly changed the subject. “I met with the rest of the class officers this morning for another planning session for the big tailgate party in September. I think it’s going to be a lot of fun.”
Haley was the class vice president, and an active member of several committees. The whole class had been together every day during the first two years of classes and lectures; now that rotations had started, they would rarely all be in one place again. Haley was committed to making sure the class stayed connected as much as possible during these final two years of medical school. If it were up to her, they’d probably have monthly pep rallies designed to keep up morale and increase classmate bonding, he thought with a smothered grin.