Regency Society

She felt a rush of sympathy. He had been lonely, even in a large family.

He continued. ‘What I wanted did not matter, in any case. My oldest brother was killed duelling, and the second took a bullet to the brain at Talavera. And suddenly, there was only me, two widows, two nephews and a niece. My brothers were older, but not necessarily wiser. Their estates were in shambles and they had made no provisions for their deaths. The whole family was bound for the poorhouse, unless I took drastic action.’ He shrugged. ‘There are many who have more than they need.’

‘But surely, an honest profession. You could have read for divinity.’ She looked at his politely incredulous expression and tried to imagine him a vicar. ‘Perhaps not.’

He sat down at her side. ‘It was my plan, once. And I went to interview for a living, hoping that I would be able to send some small monies home. But the lord met me at a public house to tell me that it had gone to another.

‘And when he got up to leave, he forgot his purse. I was halfway out the door to return it, when it occurred to me that he had money enough to fill many such purses, and my family had no food on the table and no prospects for the future. I put the purse in my pocket, and brought the money home to my family. And that was the end of that.’ He smiled, obviously happier thinking of theft than he had been thinking of life as a clergyman. ‘And what of you? Did you always plan on the life you got?’

She frowned. ‘Yes. I suppose I did. My mother raised me so that I might be an asset to any man that might offer for me. And she encouraged me, when offers were made, to choose carefully in return so that I might never want. Until Robert died, things had gone very much as I would have hoped. I would have liked children, of course.’

‘It is not too late,’ Smythe responded.

She resisted the urge to explain matters to him plainly. ‘I fear it is not on the cards for me. But beside that one small thing, my life was everything I might have hoped for. I made a most advantageous marriage.’

‘You were happy, then?’

She answered as if by rote, ‘I had money, social position and a husband who treated me well. I had no right to complain.’

‘That did not answer the question.’

‘Of course I was happy,’ she said in frustration.

‘And yet, when you say it thus, I wonder if you were.’

She sighed. ‘It is different for men than for women. If you have a talent for something, you can proceed in a way that will develop it and find a career that will make the best use of your abilities. There are options open. You might study law, or go into the military, or become a vicar.’

‘Or a thief,’ he reminded her.

She nodded. ‘But because I was born female, it was my fate to marry. It is not as if I could expect another future. Fortunately, I had no talent to speak of, or any other natural ability than to be beautiful, or I might have felt some disappointment about that fact.’

He looked at her in surprise. ‘No natural talent? I’ll grant you, you are a beauty, a nonpareil. But you are wrong to think you have no other virtues. You are intelligent, well read, and you have a sharp and agile wit.’

She laughed. ‘You base these fine compliments on an acquaintance of several days. My dear Mr Smythe, I would be a fool to be flattered by one with such a shallow understanding of me. There was nothing about my character, my wealth or my family that would have led Robert to want me, had I not been a beauty. I assure you, it was a great weight off my parents to know, before they died, that I was to be well taken care of.’

Tony shook his head. ‘That sounds as if you were a burden to your family. But your parents spoke often of your fine character, although your mother was most proud of her only child being so well placed.’

She glanced at him sharply. ‘You speak as if you knew her.’

‘We were acquainted,’ he replied. ‘I knew your father, as well. I sympathise with your loss of them.’

‘You knew them both?’ She started. ‘They never mentioned you.’

‘It was a long time ago. You had been gone from the house for several years when last I met them. And they never knew of this.’ He made a vague gesture, meant to encompass his life. ‘Believe me, I never visited them in my professional capacity.’

‘I never suspected that you would.’ And it was strange, but she trusted his word on the matter.

‘You are being unfair to yourself, if you think you are without talent, or suspect that you might have no value to a husband other than to beautify his home.’

But the one thing that Robert had most wanted from her, she had been unable to give him, and she held her tongue.

‘I know for a fact that you are much more intelligent than you appear, even if you pretend it is not so in the presence of the Endsteds of the world. I saw the books he was carrying for you, and the ones you keep in your room. Philosophy, Latin, French. Not the reading of a simple mind.’

‘It is a pity, then, that I could not have put all that learning to use, and saved myself from the financial predicament I find myself in.’

He gazed at her with surprising intensity. ‘You have managed most cleverly with little money or help, where a foolish woman could not have gone on at all. It is not your fault that you put your trust in people who should have protected you, only to have them fail you.’

She found his comments both flattering and embarrassing, and sought to turn the conversation back to familiar ground. She summoned her most flirtatious look, fixed him with it and said, ‘How strange you are to say so. Most men content themselves, when I am alone with them, to comment on the fineness of my skin or the softness of my hand.’

He was having none of it, and responded matter of factly, ‘You know as well as I do the quality of your complexion. But I will comment on it, if you insist. Your skin is almost luminous in its clarity. Chinese porcelain cannot compare. But I also know that the skin is nothing to the brightness of the spirit it contains. I know you, your Grace, although you do not believe it. I do.’

She smiled, overwhelmed by his obvious sincerity. ‘And I do not really know you at all.’

‘You know my greatest secret: that I am a thief. It was embarrassing to be caught. But I was glad, when it happened, to find myself in the hands of such a charming captor.’

She blushed at the notion that she had taken him prisoner, and not the other way around. ‘You really shouldn’t steal, you know. It is wrong.’

‘I am familiar with the commandments,’ he said with asperity. ‘And follow nine out of ten to the best of my ability. It is a better average, I think, than the people I steal from, who have no thought to any but themselves. They are greedy, indolent and licentious.’

‘Is that why you came to my rooms? To punish me for my sins? Because I am guilty.’ She hung her head. ‘Of pride, and of lust.’

‘Serious, of course, but the seven deadly sins are not in the Bible, per se,’ he remarked. ‘But what makes you think you are guilty of them?’

‘Barton has been able to manipulate me easily, because he knows how carefully I guard my reputation. If I were willing to admit that I am poor, and that he has gulled me…’

‘Then you might ruin any chance to marry well. You are not guilty of anything, other than being forced to place your trust in one who proved unworthy. Why should you suffer, while the Bartons of the world live in comfort? You could don a cap and remain a poor widow, I suppose. Take in sewing. Do good works. Live off the charity of the church, since your wastrel nephew cannot be bothered to live up to his obligations to you.’ He made a face. ‘It does not sound very pleasant. And it would be a waste of one as young and lovely as yourself, if there is any other alternative.’

He paused, and then added as an afterthought, ‘You could marry below your station. No one would think you proud, then.’

‘I will consider it, if someone asks. But none has. No one offers marriage at all. Men below my station avoid me as unattainable. And men who would be fine catches want nothing more than…’ She shook her head. ‘Barton says that he, and the others, can see that I secretly desire what they offer. That I am too willing, too interested in their company. That I allow too many small liberties, and they are surprised when I refuse to follow through.’

Smythe sniffed. ‘Men have ever used this, when trying to persuade a woman to do more than she wishes. It is no reflection on you. Ignore them.’

‘But look how I behave, when I am alone with you.’ She blurted the words and stopped, embarrassed to have told him the truth. ‘I…I am wanton.’

He was grinning again. ‘Yes. I noticed. It is most flattering. Tell me, is this how you behave with all the other men of your acquaintance?’

‘Of course not. How dare you even think—?’

He laid a finger on her lips to silence her. ‘I did not think so. But it is even more flattering to hear you admit that I am the only one to move you so.’ He looked down at his feet, and she thought for a moment that she could see a faint blush in his check. Then he said, ‘It is not so bad a thing, to take pleasure in the company of the opposite gender. Of course, I am biased, since I am the man in question. I would have to be made of stone to wish you less willing when in my embrace. And I would have been most put out to find you sighing over Barton’s embrace, and behaving thus with him. But I would not expect that, just because you have lain with one man, that you are game to lie with any that might ask.

‘And because you allow me a degree of intimacy, for which I am most grateful…’ he looked up and smiled at her and there was a wicked glint in his eye that made her heart beat faster ‘…I do not assume that I can do as I please with you. If ever I make a suggestion that offends you, you have but to tell me to stop. I am yours to command.’

And thoughts appeared of what she wished to command him to do. They had nothing to do with stopping his current behaviour or being any less wicked in her presence. Quite the contrary. She blushed. ‘No. It is quite all right. You have done nothing to offend me. I am…’ She whispered the next words, ‘I fear I am enjoying it too much.’

He whispered back to her. ‘You have nothing to fear. As I told you the first night, your secrets are safe with me. All of your secrets. But if you enjoy my company so much, why were you not at home, when I called?’

‘What we spoke of last night…I do not know if I can go through with it. It seemed so right, at the time. But it is foolish of me to make promises in the moonlight that I am afraid to keep in daylight.’

‘I see.’ He reached out and gently touched her arm. ‘And why were you crying? This is the second time that I have come upon you and found you in tears. I do not believe you gave me a clear indication of the problem on that night, either. What is it that distresses you so?’

‘I thought I informed you then that it was none of your concern.’

‘But we hardly knew each other, then. I dare say we are much closer now. One might say, thick as thieves.’ He considered. ‘Although for the most part, I have not found thieves to be much in each other’s confidence.’

‘Then why should I trust you?’

‘Because I care enough to ask, and sincerely hope that the problem will be something I can aid you in. You must admit, I have helped you before.’

She laughed through her tears. ‘It is not so easy, this time, I fear. You tempt me. And it is hard to resist you. But the gentleman you discovered me with in the library? I had hopes…’ She left the sentence unfinished.

Tony stiffened next to her. ‘I see. And does the gentleman reciprocate your feelings?’

She blinked away the tears. ‘I did not claim to have feelings. It would be most insensible of me, at my age, to base everything on “feelings.” Instead, I had hopes.’

‘Oh,’ he said, clearly not understanding at all.

‘He is a gentleman, his income is not as great as my late husband’s nor his estates as fine, nor his title as prestigious. But, truly, I do not expect to find the equal of Robert. My first marriage was extremely fortunate in that regard. Lord Endsted was more than rich enough. And he seemed interested. Of course, they all seem interested, at first.’

‘I should think that they would be. You are a charming and attractive woman, your Grace. Any man would be honoured to have your attention.’ He opened his mouth, ready to say more, then stopped and looked at her. ‘But I take it, the man of your choosing is not among them?’

She shook her head. ‘As I said before, this is not so much about what I choose, or what I feel. I would have been more than willing, should he have offered, or any of the others. It would have been most foolish of me to say nay if he’d have offered matrimony. But he saw me with you, and then Barton was here, when we returned. And he now thinks me inappropriate company.’

Anthony exploded with an oath. ‘He does not want you because other men find you attractive? Then the man is a jealous fool. Or blind. I will find him and call him out.’

‘Don’t be absurd.’ She laid a hand on his arm. ‘He offended me, not you. And if you wish to call out every gentleman who has disappointed me, then I would have to make you a rather long list. I expect it to grow even longer, ere I find a man who will do otherwise. You came upon me in a low mood, that is all. I had not expected, at thirty, to be so thoroughly on the shelf with regard to matrimony. And I am not yet to the point where I find the other suggestions to be flattering.’

‘I should think not,’ he responded indignantly. ‘The cheek of these men. I had thought that one such as yourself, fair as any of the young ladies of the ton, but with grace and poise, with wit as well as intelligence…’ He showed signs of continuing, and then looked down. ‘I would have thought that one such as you would have no end of suitors.’

‘I have had suitors enough.’ She smiled sadly. ‘But they are rarely seeking a wife. I suppose it is a comfort to know that men still find me desirable.’

‘Oh, I must say yes, you are very much that. But that they would be so coarse as to suggest…’

She stared at him. ‘You yourself had admitted that you would have me, should I be so inclined. I fail to see the source of your indignation on my behalf.’

‘But that is before I realised that you would settle for nothing less than marriage.’ He dropped to his knees before her. ‘I am ever your servant, your Grace. You would do me a great honour, should you give me your hand, and I would endeavour to keep you in comfort and safety for the rest of your days.’

She pulled her hand from his grasp. ‘And now you are taunting me with my foolishness.’

‘I assure you, I am not. If you cannot find another who suits you, and do not wish to accept any of the other base offers made to you, then have me.’

‘Most certainly not.’ She had blurted out the words before she could stop to think how they might sound.

He looked up at her, eyes glazed with shock, and skin white, but with a streak of colour on each cheek as though she had slapped him hard. ‘May I ask why?’

‘I should think that would be obvious.’

His voice was steady, but strangely distant. ‘Not to me.’

She ducked her head so that he might not see the fear in her eyes. ‘We hardly know each other.’

‘I doubt you knew the other gentlemen so well as you thought, if you were surprised when none of them offered. So that is not the real reason, is it?’

‘All right. If you insist.’ She steeled herself and said the words, ‘You are a criminal. How could you expect me to accept that fact, and bind myself to you? You would ask me to live in comfort off ill-gotten gains and feel no guilt about it?’

He rose from his knees and dropped back into the seat beside her. There was a flash of pain in his eyes, but when he spoke, his colour was returning to normal and his voice was light, albeit with a slight edge of sarcasm. ‘Women I have supported in the past took care not to know where the money came from. They assumed, correctly, that someone would take care of them, and shield them from the unpleasantness of finances.’ He looked at her. ‘Just as I assumed that, since you took the first money, and had no problem with the theft of the deed, you would not be bothered with the rest.’

‘You assumed incorrectly. I take pride in knowing the details of my finances, although I cannot say I’ve done a very good job with them. And I am tired of men who promise to be a shield against unpleasantness, since unpleasantness has managed to find me in any case.’

‘You would not have the details of it rubbed under your nose. I do not entertain my fence at my rooms. I keep my private life very much removed from my professional one.’

‘Or you will until such time as you are caught and hanged. Then you will drag those around you to disgrace as well.’

The words pained him, and his voice was quiet when he responded. ‘It is not as if I have never considered the fact. And I have taken great care not to be caught. Another reason I never married, I think.’

‘It was probably wise of you. I cannot imagine a crueller fate for a woman than to know such a thing about her husband and to live in fear of his discovery. I could not bear it.’

A shadow passed over his face again. ‘Thank you for making your opinions clear on the matter. I intended no disrespect. I only wished to offer you a solution to a problem that seems to weigh most heavily upon you. The offer stands, of course, for I doubt that my attraction for you will wane. But I will not break my heart over your refusal, since I suspect there is nothing to be done to change your low opinion of me.’ His tone was light, and he seemed to have returned to normal, but she could tell he did not speak the whole truth.

‘Thank you for your understanding.’

‘And thank you for your honesty.’ There was more than a touch of bitterness in the word. ‘And tell me, does your refusal of my more noble offer extend to my friendship as well?’

‘No.’ Her voice was small and unsteady.

‘Because I will not trouble you with my presence again, if you find my criminality so offensive.’ She had hurt him again, and she felt her resolve wavering. But she could not very well marry him, just to spare his feelings. Why could he not understand that one of them must hurt, no matter what path she chose?

She reached out to take his hand again. ‘No. Please, do not forsake me. I cannot help the way I feel. I wish I could, in so many ways, and yet, I cannot. I know I cannot marry you. But neither am I able to let you go. And I do not know what I am to do, in either case. It hurts me to think of it, just as it hurt to say it aloud. And that is why I was crying.’

He laid his other hand over hers and squeezed it tightly. And his smile was sad, but it was a real smile. ‘That is all right. I did not think you would say yes, and yet I felt moved to ask. I do not wish to make you cry, and am sorry to have done so. And truly, I have no desire to leave you and will not unless you send me away.’

He sighed. ‘So let us not think overlong on the details of this, since they pain us both. Until such time as you say otherwise, I am yours to command, your Grace, and that should be more than enough to be happy on, I think.’ And he pulled her close to him, so that she could lay her head on his shoulder, and rocked her in his arms until she dozed.

When she awoke, he was gone.

Chapter Eleven

She returned to the house, lightheaded from her nap in the sunlight and unsure of her emotions. The crying had left her with a megrim that the nap had only partly soothed.

But it had been so restful, leaning against Tony, that she had quite forgotten what a bad idea it was to do so. And strange that he’d even allowed it. He had offered. She had refused. Afterwards, one of them should have slunk away in embarrassment, to nurse their wounds in private.

But he had been very accepting of her refusal, even though she could tell he was hurt. It would have been much easier if he had raged and stormed and then left her in peace. If he had abandoned her, she might have begun the difficult process of forgetting him, rather than closing her eyes and leaning into his shoulder, losing herself in a dream of what it might be like if they were two different people and she could say yes to him.

It could not have hurt him too deeply, then. It was a blow to the ego, of course. No man wanted to be told that he was not good enough to be marriage material. But it must not have been a blow to the heart. If it had been a mortal wound, he would not have recovered so quickly. It might actually have been the answer he wanted to hear, since he had done his best to help her, but had been able to keep his heart free, in case he ever managed to succeed with his dream woman.

All the more reason not to marry him. Although he might want her, he did not truly love her. Their marriage might have been a very workable relationship, if she had had the sense not to fall in love with him before he had asked. But if she had agreed to marry him because she loved him, she could see a grim future ahead. Once he had her, his ardour would cool and he would lose interest. And she would sit like the fool she was, suffering with every small indifference and worrying the night away that he would be captured and killed, or, worse yet, unfaithful.

He would be baffled by her behaviour, since he had given her no reason for it. He had made no grand promises of undying faithfulness before the marriage. Why should she expect them after?

So, it was all for the best. As long as she ignored the emptiness she felt, after denying him.

‘Your Grace.’ Susan rushed to her side, as she entered the house, trying to stop her as she walked down the corridor. ‘I am sorry. I tried. But his foot was in the door. And when I tried to close it, he pushed me and I fell. And I told him you were not at home, but he would not go away.’

The words were overwhelming, and made no sense, but Constance knew, before she opened the door to her sitting room, who she would find there.

Barton was smiling the same placid smile he always did when dealing with her, as though common sense and reason would eventually lead her to do the unspeakable. He did not rise as she entered, remaining relaxed and in control. ‘You ignored my note to you.’

‘Yes, I did,’ she responded. ‘And my servants were instructed not to open the door for you. You cannot continue to force your way into my home, Lord Barton.’

‘Your home.’ When he said it, it was no longer a question. He must know that she’d got the deed.

She pretended to ignore the fact. ‘I will have no more of these nonsensical threats of yours. I have no intention of becoming your mistress. And I do not acknowledge your ownership of my home. If you think you have a case, then take me to court, and prove that you own this house.’

He laughed. ‘You are beautiful, Constance, and more clever than I gave you credit for. I know you have taken the deed. I don’t suppose you would care to enlighten me on how that might have happened. I suspect that the one who helped you might have another motive to gain entry to my house. And I would like a word with him.’

‘I do not know what you are talking about.’

‘Of course you don’t, darling. To hear you, I am almost convinced. I doubt that you have the necessary skills to achieve this yourself. I know you had help. So I will watch you closely, and watch the men who watch you, until I see who your favourite shall be. And when I have discovered him, I will deal with him as he deserves.’

‘My favourite? I have no favourite.’

‘Not that I have noticed. But if you do not, you soon shall. The man that got the deed to your house made you work for it, I’ll wager, just as I intend to.’

She almost responded that Tony had been different, before she could help herself.

He smiled as he saw the look in her eyes. ‘You almost told me. But no matter. You will slip eventually. With a word. A glance. A chance meeting that is no chance. I will find him, and punish him. If it matters to you, you might warn him that I wish him to stay out of my business and that if he thinks he can take you from me, he is sadly mistaken.’ He looked up at her and reached into his pocket, producing a packet of papers. ‘I took the liberty of going up to your room as you slept in the garden, and retrieving what he took from me. And thus, we are back to where we started. You owed me then, and you owe me now.’