The Vow

‘You had no idea?’ She sounds shocked. ‘Are the police sure about this other woman?’

‘That’s the thing.’ As I look at her, Sonia’s face is blurred, my words sticking in my throat. ‘For some reason, they believe her over me. They won’t even tell me who she is. And it was me he was going to marry.’

‘Oh Amy …’ Her voice is full of sympathy. ‘You must be reeling with so many emotions – shock, grief, sadness …’ She pauses for a moment. ‘But right now, whatever else is going on, whatever he has or hasn’t done, your first priority is to look after you.’

Hunched, I shake my head. ‘I should have known. Aren’t women supposed to have a sixth sense about these things? I feel so stupid, Sonia. I hadn’t a clue.’

She looks outraged. ‘It isn’t you who’s stupid. Of course you’re hurting. And however badly he’s behaved, you’re grieving. You’ve not only lost him, you’ve lost the future you were planning.’ She pauses. ‘It must be triggering old memories of when Dominic left, too. Do you have any idea where your fiancé might be?’

‘I don’t.’ My words echo in the silence. ‘No-one does. The police are investigating. Our wedding was supposed to be next week. My dress is upstairs. We’d even written our own vows.’ There’s desperation in my voice. ‘All that planning … and now I have to cancel it.’ As I say the words out loud, my body starts to shake.

Sonia’s silent for a moment. ‘Have you had anything to eat?’

I shake my head. ‘I’m not hungry.’

She speaks gently. ‘Why don’t I make us a pot of tea?’

I think about explaining how I’d rather be on my own, then because her voice is kind and I feel so desperately alone, more tears stream down my face. Embarrassed, I try to wipe them away, apologising. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘You really have nothing to be sorry about.’ As her hand touches my arm, I know she understands.

*

Sitting at the kitchen table, I watch while she makes two mugs of tea, then puts together a sandwich I have no appetite for, before she sits down across the table from me.

‘You’re dealing with a lot, Amy. And right now, you’re feeling the added shock of finding out that Matt has not only lied, he’s betrayed you.’

‘That’s the worst of it.’ I stare at my mug. ‘I don’t understand how he could do that to me … And I hate that everyone knows.’

‘It’s possible he hadn’t told you because he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. However it started with this other woman, maybe it got out of control. Obviously, I don’t know him but plenty of men cheat because they can.’ She speaks carefully. ‘I mean, imagine what it does to your ego to know that you have two women in your life. Two women who both want to be with you.’ She pauses for a moment. ‘I hope you don’t mind me asking, but can I ask you about your relationship? Did you honestly believe everything was right between you?’

‘On the whole, we were good.’ My voice is quiet. ‘We seemed to fit together, somehow. Before we met, we’d both been on our own for some time. You reach an age where you don’t expect to meet anyone. It makes you see things differently. There was the occasional argument … but they were rare. And …’ I hesitate. ‘I know sometimes I did things that annoyed him. But before we were together, I suppose I’d got set in my ways. Jess and I had lived on our own for years.’

Sonia frowns slightly. ‘Did you disagree about anything in particular?’

For reasons I can’t explain, I don’t want to tell her the truth – that he could be intolerant of Jess sometimes, that when I intervened he didn’t like it. He would often remind me that it wasn’t easy being the newcomer when Jess and I were so close.

I shake my head at Sonia.

‘The biggest thing was the house. When we were first together, he wanted to sell it and move to Brighton. I didn’t want to. The garden is the basis of my work. It takes years to establish herbs.’ I turn my gaze towards the window. ‘I didn’t want to give it up and start again.’

‘So you came to an agreement?’ Sonia sounds curious.

I sigh. ‘Kind of. I thought he’d grow to like living here. He gave up trying to persuade me in the end.’ Hunched over the table, I shrug. ‘At least, I thought he had. There was another row about it, not that long ago, but that time, he didn’t push it. Now, I don’t know what to think.’ As I speak, I’m twisting my engagement ring around my finger, wondering if he’ll want it back. ‘This was Matt’s grandmother’s.’ My voice is toneless as I move my hand to show her. After the most romantic dinner, in the most old-fashioned of gestures, Matt had ordered champagne before going down on one knee and giving me the ring. It had been quite early on in our relationship and I’d been ridiculously flattered at being the recipient of a family heirloom. More so, when the ring fitted perfectly. Now, sliding it off my finger, I place it in the middle of the table, then look at her. ‘Have you ever been married?’

‘No.’ Sonia pauses. ‘There was someone. Let’s just say he wasn’t who I thought he was.’

‘My best friend’s ex-boyfriend wasn’t who she thought he was either.’ I’m thinking of Cath. ‘He seemed so charming, but it wasn’t long before he wanted control over every aspect of her life. She couldn’t see it, but everyone else could.’

‘It’s often the way, isn’t it?’ As she looks at me, Sonia sighs. ‘It may not seem like it right now, but for all the people like your friend’s ex-partner, and maybe Matt, too, there really are an equal number of good people in the world.’

Shaking my head, I stare at my hands. ‘Nothing makes any sense. I was so sure about Matt. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming.’

‘No. He obviously knew exactly how to fool you.’ Sonia’s voice is quiet. Then as she goes on, she tries to sound more positive. ‘Hopefully the police will find him. And when they do, you’ll get the answers you need and he can take his possessions and get out of your life for good. Then, you’ll need time to let the dust settle. Going forward, it isn’t going to be the life you imagined. But think about it this way. If your wedding had gone ahead, it would have been far more painful if you’d found out further down the line what he’s capable of.’ Then she sees the flowers on the table. ‘Are those from your garden?’

I nod, looking at the vase of parrot tulips, their soft petals shades of pale green tinged with terracotta, their stems uneven lengths, their heads snaking in different directions. Then my gaze drifts back towards the window. ‘I’ve been growing our wedding flowers. They’re still out there. White narcissi and hyacinths.’ I’d planned to mix them with rosemary, eucalyptus, silver pine. Thinking of the day that’s never going to happen, my eyes fill with more tears, while as if in a trance, I get up and go over to the doors, sliding them open and stepping outside.

‘Amy, you’re not wearing anything on your feet.’

Sonia’s voice goes over my head as I start walking, anger rising in me, at Matt, at this other woman, whoever she is. Oblivious to the damp soaking through my socks, to the fog that envelops me, soaking into my clothes, clinging to my hair, her cries float past me as my emotions reach tipping point. Reaching the polytunnel, I go to the flower pots where stems of narcissi are in bud, one by one ripping them out, emptying the pots onto the floor, before starting on the hyacinths. Slowly at first, my anger builds as I move faster, more brutally, my hands cold, covered in damp earth as I hurl the broken stems onto the ground around me, followed by the flower pots, hearing them shatter; ignoring Sonia until I feel her hand on my arm. ‘Amy, you should stop … You’ll regret this.’

But I wrench my arm away, keeping going until every last flower has been torn up. Turning around, I glance at the mess of snapped stems and broken terracotta; at my socks covered in soil, then I look at Sonia. ‘This is how it feels,’ I whisper fiercely, as at last my anger starts to abate. ‘Like this.’ I gesture towards the dead flowers. ‘This is what Matt has done to me.’

Chapter Eight

Eventually, after picking up the smashed flower pots, I collect up the rest and leave it to rot on the compost heap. But I leave the broken flowers where they are until the following morning. As I walk back towards the house, a flashing blue light reflects through the mist. A feeling of foreboding fills me. The police, again. It must be Matt.

But when I go through the gate to the front of the house, I’m shocked to see an ambulance parked further up the road outside Mrs Guthrie’s house. Guiltily, I realise I haven’t seen her for a few days. Too wrapped up in my own problems, I haven’t given her more than a passing thought. Hoping she hasn’t had a fall, I start walking towards the ambulance, but then her daughter’s car speeds past, before pulling in and parking just behind it.

As the paramedics disappear through the garden gate, knowing her daughter is there, I turn back, steeling myself to call Lara, the wedding organiser. There’s no way the wedding can go ahead.

‘Would you like me to contact everyone?’ Lara has all the guests’ details.

‘Would you?’ Relief fills me. I’d dreaded having to send emails and field responses.

‘I needn’t say too much. Just that for unforeseen reasons, the wedding isn’t going to go ahead.’ Her voice is quiet, but matter of fact.

‘OK.’

‘I’ll call the venue and let them know, if you like. Unless you want to?’

It feels unfair to put it all on her, but she genuinely sounds as though she doesn’t mind. ‘Not really. I never imagined doing any of this.’

*

Embarrassed about my behaviour while Sonia was here, I text her, putting off the appointment she’d persuaded me to keep till later in the week. Shortly after, Pete texts me, asking if there’s news. I text him back. If the police are right, it sounds as though Matt’s been fooling all of us. He calls me back immediately.

‘What’s going on? Are you OK?’

‘Not really. Matt …’ I break off, but then because he was going to be Matt’s best man, I tell him. ‘Apparently Matt’s been having an affair. When the woman he was seeing reported him missing, she told the police he was about to leave me for her.’

There’s silence. ‘You’re kidding.’ Pete sounds stunned. ‘You’re sure about this? Of course, you must be. I mean … How did I not know?’

‘I’ve asked myself the same question. But the police seem to think they have proof.’

He sounds shocked. ‘Oh, Amy …’

I pause, knowing I need to ask him. ‘You really didn’t know anything was wrong?’

‘Apart from the times he changed plans at the last minute, no. We’d arranged to meet to talk about the speeches etc. But he’s a busy guy. It’s only the fact that the wedding was so close that I thought anything of it, because we were running out of time. But apart from that, there really was nothing.’

Then I remember. ‘The police asked for your mobile number.’

‘They haven’t called me yet. And I’m not sure I can tell them anything.’

‘Can you let them know how surprised you are, too? They don’t seem to believe that I couldn’t have known.’

*

After a couple of hours, when I next glance outside, the ambulance has gone. It isn’t until PC Page calls me the following day that I find out more.

‘I’m not sure if you know, but your neighbour was found dead yesterday. It came as a complete shock to her daughter. Had you seen much of her recently?’

I’m horrified. ‘I can’t believe it. She seemed OK the last time I saw her – frail, but determined as ever. Do you know how she died?’

‘We’re not sure. Possibly her heart, but apparently, her house stank of smoke. Her daughter said she was meticulous about getting the chimney swept. Given the circumstances, there’ll be a post-mortem, after which we should know more.’ PC Page hesitates for a moment. ‘Her daughter said you and her mother were quite friendly.’

‘We were. I used to see her much more when we first moved here but recently, I’ve seen her less frequently. Now and then, she’d give me flowers from her garden. She loved her garden – we had that in common, I suppose. She loved my daughter Jess, too.’ I break off for a moment. ‘I’m so sorry. I can’t believe she’s gone.’

‘Can you remember when you last saw her?’

I remember clearly. ‘It was the morning after Matt went missing. I’d just come back after delivering some orders, when I saw her walking down the lane. She had some Japanese anemones in her garden which she said I could use for our wedding.’ Frowning, I can’t believe I haven’t asked. ‘Do you know if she saw anyone leave the bouquet outside my door?’

‘I did speak to her.’ PC Page sounds thoughtful. ‘She said she saw a van pull up outside the day it happened.’

I tighten my grip on my phone. ‘No-one’s told me this.’

‘Probably because there isn’t much to tell. It was too dark and the van was too far away for her to identify the make or colour. Because of how it parked, she didn’t see anyone get in or out of it, either.’

My heart starts to race. ‘It must have been whoever left the flowers. Who else could it have been?’

‘That’s anyone’s guess.’ There’s a pause before she speaks. ‘Either way, it doesn’t exactly help. But we’re doing everything we can to find out.’

*

None of us are immortal, but I’d imagined Mrs Guthrie obstinately refusing to let her age get the better of her, one of those old women who’d struggle on into her nineties, battling her frailty. It crosses my mind that her death is connected to whoever delivered the flowers – the timing seems too much of a coincidence. But whether it is or not, it weaves another layer of uncertainty around me. With Matt gone, Jess away and Mrs Guthrie no longer across the road, my sense of isolation grows. If anything were to happen, I’m alone.

Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.