A Nurse To Heal His Heart
‘Sticky. Yes.’ He didn’t move, didn’t blink, barely breathed as he waited. But she felt his irritation swaddle her like a cloying cloak and she wished the ground would open up and swallow her. Finally, she managed to get everything in place and she felt him sigh.
Clamping down her own frustration, she closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. She would not let another man make her feel…less…ever again. She was good at her job. She was a great person, actually. She knew that, and it had been a long, hard journey to finally believe it.
But none of that was important right now; she had to work with this man regardless, and Maxine needed them both to get along if they were going to successfully care for her.
Their patient reached for Joe’s hand as the last lead was clipped on. The ECG machine bleeped and whirred, then traced her heart rhythm onto an LED display. Not good news: Maxine was in the middle of an acute cardiac event and needed urgent treatment and admission to hospital.
Joe nodded as he looked at the read-out. ‘Okay, sweetheart, it looks like you’re going to have to make a trip to Lancaster General because your heart isn’t doing what it should do. So, I need to get a drip in your arm so we can start the treatment here and some aspirin will help make the blood flow a bit easier. But first, pop this tablet under your tongue. Bad news is, I don’t think it was the onions after all.’
Maxine seemed to have diminished a little. ‘Me neither. But I didn’t want to bother you.’ She pulled the mask away again and let Joe place the tablet under her tongue. Wincing, the older lady looked up at him and choked back a sob. ‘I don’t want to die, Joey.’
‘Shh. Let the tablet dissolve. You’re not dying here, that’s for sure, not on my watch.’ Once he’d secured intravenous access into her arm, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do on an anxious woman with poor cardiac output and refusenik veins, he squeezed Maxine’s other hand, his voice an altogether different tone to the one he’d used with Rose. ‘We’re going to make you comfortable.’
‘But, what if I do die—?’
‘No, Maxine. Do not even go there. Save your energy for getting better, not thinking the worst.’ He drew up some morphine with very steady hands, handed the ampoule to Rose to check with barely a second glance at her, then he injected the painkiller into their patient.
When he’d finished Maxine struggled to sit up. ‘Call David.’
Joe nodded. ‘I will. And I’ll tell him to meet you at the hospital. Now lie back and start getting better.’
But she tried to sit up again, her hand trembling as she grabbed his arm. ‘I’m sorry. We’re short-staffed as it is.’
He gently eased her back against the pillow and stroked her hair. ‘Please, relax. Stop talking, stop thinking about everyone else and save your energy.’
‘Tell Katy I love her.’ Her voice was strained and thick with emotion, which seemed to take Joe aback.
‘Of course, but she knows it well enough.’ His eyes filled, but he shook his head, determined. One thing Rose realised now was that she’d grossly underestimated him. Yes, he was grumpy, but he had more than enough affection and compassion for this woman. ‘Don’t go talking like that. You hear me?’
‘And find someone to make you happy. Please. You need that in your life, Joey.’
What? A zillion questions fired in Rose’s brain. That was an odd thing for his receptionist to say.
He blinked. Shook his head again, his gaze sliding quickly to Rose and then back to Maxine. Clearly he hadn’t wanted her to overhear this conversation. ‘Right. I think I can hear sirens. Any minute now we’ll have the Lake District’s finest bursting through the door.’
And they did. And when they saw who the patient was there was a flurry of activity and a very quick turnaround with a promise of having her back behind the reception desk—as she was demanding—in no time. Joe wanted to accompany her in the ambulance but Maxine flatly refused, saying he was needed here and to just phone her husband. So he did, breaking the news in that soft, concerned voice he seemed to reserve for friends and not for new staff—but then, why should he?
And then there was just the two of them left to clear up the mess of syringes and sticky papers, and tidy up the reception area, which they did in silence because Rose didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t receive a terse reply.
Thank goodness the medical centre had been closed for lunch and the incident hadn’t played out in front of a clinic full of patients. She looked at the empty chair behind the desk and felt a chill shudder through her. They’d played the scenario down, but acute heart attacks were dangerous. Fatal in lots of cases, even if the patient survived the first bout of treatment. Hearts were tricky things and needed lots of looking after—physically and emotionally.
That was why she was here, after all, to make hers better.
Eventually, Rose couldn’t cope with the oppressive silence any more. She wanted to talk about Maxine, even if he didn’t. Talking about stressful things was a good thing, so the counsellor had told her. ‘She’s so sweet. I hope she’ll be okay.’
Thor turned and looked up from the desktop computer, as if suddenly remembering she was there. Steely blue eyes narrowed. ‘Yes.’
‘You’re going to miss her.’
‘Yes.’ He paused, looking as if he was working out what to say. ‘She’s my receptionist, but she’s also my mother-in-law.’
Oh. No wonder he was so concerned. Oakdale was a small community, so of course there’d be family members all working together, unlike at the big London hospital she’d trained at. People there were from all over the world, strangers working with strangers, mostly. She’d come here because the small community had appealed. That, and a weird comforting feeling she’d had when she’d read the description of the place. It had sounded magical, idyllic and just the thing for a broken heart. A new start, fresh air and lots of exercise to exorcise her past.
But why was his mother-in-law telling him to find someone to make him happy? That made no sense at all.
As if he could read her mind, he shook his head. ‘People say things they don’t mean when they’re in a panic.’
‘She was scared. It’s understandable. You think you’re going to live for ever, then something like this hits you out of the blue. It makes you rethink everything.’
‘Right, yes.’ He was nodding, but there was little emotion there. She expected a big sigh, at least. A rub of those skilled hands through his blond hair. A raised eyebrow or some sort of shared agreement that it had been really hard working on a friend. A discussion, maybe…some sort of virtual group hug that they’d done the right things in the emergency. Anything they could have done differently, better, things to be worked on for next time. But, no, nothing.
It was like talking to an automaton. But he was only like this with her, Rose noticed. With Maxine he’d been soft and sweet. Maybe she just needed to get to know him…or he needed to get to know her, before they could have cordial work relations. Maybe she just needed to hightail it back to the agency and demand to be placed somewhere else.
Instead, she took a deep breath. Because he must have been shocked by what had just happened; what else could explain his gruff manner? ‘Hey, why don’t you take a few minutes to debrief? Have a cup of tea or something? It’s okay to feel blindsided by this.’
He looked at her as if she had two heads. ‘I’m not blindsided. I’m short-staffed. And I’m running very late for my home visits. Again.’
And with that he was gone.
CHAPTER TWO
THE NEW NURSE was still there when he got back from his home visits, despite her not being due to start work until tomorrow. And every time he came into the waiting area throughout the afternoon to call a patient into his room, there she was, sitting on Maxine’s chair, chatting to the patients and other nurses as if she belonged there.
Her blonde ponytail bobbed as she laughed with Dennis Blakely, making the dour old man smile for the first time in living memory, those amber eyes sparkling as she shushed a crying newborn to sleep like some sort of baby whisperer. No longer wearing the orange hat or the red coat, she was dressed for work in a high-necked top and slim black trousers. Smart. Professional.
He wished she was still in the hat and coat…inappropriate for walking or work, but they matched her vibrancy.
As he watched her, Joe had the same feeling he’d had when he’d seen her on the mountain—as if something inside him was starting to wake up after a very long hibernation—he noticed her. And that in itself was the strangest thing, because he hadn’t noticed much these last few years. He’d been swimming through a fog of survival and grief so deep he’d barely managed to function, drowning really, spending all his energy on making sure Katy got through this well-adjusted and, above all, happy. As happy as she could be. As happy as he could make her.
So did noticing a pretty woman mean he’d moved on?
Panic hit him with force, like bullets pelting his body—his heart, his gut, his throat. He wasn’t sure he wanted to move on. Mostly, he didn’t want to forget.
But, regardless of what noticing her meant, he needed to apologise for being rude. Twice. Probably more. Maxine would have a fit if he didn’t and word got round he’d scared the new staff nurse away.
‘You still here?’ he asked her as he dropped blood forms and paperwork onto the large uncluttered desk, the last of the patients having just left. ‘I thought you didn’t start until tomorrow?’
‘After Maxine’s incident I wasn’t going to leave you so short-staffed, was I? I just helped out, learning the ropes.’ She looked up at him, her tone defensive, with little warmth in the amber gaze. ‘Dr Jenny said it was all right for me to stay on. Apparently, they’ll have someone to man the desk in the morning.’
‘Yes, of course.’ Good old Jenny—if it hadn’t been for her, Maxine and Alex, the place would have buckled under Joe’s flagging leadership and the mire of fog engulfing him. But the fog was lifting now, apparently, if noticing lovely eyes was anything to go by. Which was interesting and very inconvenient because he didn’t want to find her—or any woman for that matter—attractive. Especially one who was here on a temporary contract and destined to leave when her time was up. He’d already had his world blown apart by the loss of one woman and he had no inclination to open himself up to that again. ‘It’s fine by me.’
‘Good, because I’m not sure how you’d have got on with no one to cover the front desk during a busy afternoon clinic.’ She nodded. ‘Actually, it’s worked out well, because now I know how the place runs.’
‘I’m glad someone does.’
It was meant to be a joke, but it had been so long since he’d made one he wasn’t sure it hit the mark. It shocked him that he wanted to see her face light up the way it had this morning as she’d stretched her arms out wide and breathed in the fresh morning air on his mountain.
But she just nodded, all business. ‘It’s actually very straightforward. Maxine’s got systems in place for everything.’
‘I know. She’s a star and runs a very tight ship. I was…er…joking.’
‘Oh. I didn’t realise you knew how.’ This time she did smile, although it was a little hesitant and didn’t warm her eyes and he knew it was because all she knew about him was that he was bad company.
So now was his chance to make amends. ‘Look, can we start over? I’m sorry about this morning.’
‘Which bit?’
‘What do you mean?’ Wasn’t a blanket apology enough?
Clearly not. She started to count his misdemeanours off on her fingers. ‘The comments about my clothing choice for a super quick walk up the hill.’ Forefinger. ‘The dismissal of my input with a very sick patient.’ Middle finger. ‘Outright rudeness when I tried to be compassionate to you…’ Ring finger. Which, he noted, didn’t have a ring, but it did have a barely discernible white line which meant…which meant he was noticing more than he should. Her terse voice made him focus. ‘Which are you apologising for, Doctor?’
Those lovely eyes settled on his face. A little warmer. Drifted to his mouth, back to his eyes, and he had the distinct feeling she was sizing him up.
That made him stand taller. So, she wasn’t going to pussyfoot around him. This was new, and he wasn’t sure what he thought about it. But he definitely deserved it. Maybe he’d been too protected by his staff, who’d all taken the reins when he’d begun to sink, and probably let him get away with too much self-absorption in the process.
‘Good point. I’m sorry for everything. Absolutely everything I did, and pretty much everything I didn’t do too… The fact that the Tooth Fairy isn’t real, the extinction of the dinosaurs, and mostly for The Birdie Song.’
Her eyes twinkled at that and she started to laugh. Which made him notice her even more.
She put her hand up, signalling that he’d said enough. ‘Okay. Don’t get carried away. But…oh, my poor heart…the Tooth Fairy? Not real?’
‘I know. I took it hard too. For God’s sake, don’t tell my daughter; she’d never forgive me.’
‘My lips are sealed.’ She did a zipping action with her forefinger and thumb across her mouth. Pouting it a little. It was a nice mouth. Full lips. The kind of smile that made you feel as if you had a pool of light in your chest. Seemed it wasn’t just his head but his heart noticed her too. Something in his blood started to fizz.
It had no right fizzing. He cleared his throat. ‘So, let’s start again. I’m Joe Thompson. The patients know me as Dr Joe. Maxine calls me Joey. But I also answer to hey you, oi and a whole lot of things I can’t say in polite company…and that you’ve probably muttered under your breath more than once today.’
A wry lift of her eyebrow. ‘I stopped counting when I got to fifty-seven.’
‘That bad, eh? I’m sorry and even though I didn’t show it I’m very grateful you’re here, particularly today.’
‘You’re forgiven, but only just, and you’re now on a caution.’ She nodded, satisfied. The smile stayed in place, hinting he was on the right track with being civil. ‘Any more of that grumpy nonsense and you’ll be in a lot of trouble. Life’s too short to be a huge pain in the ars—’
‘Indeed.’ As he knew, well enough. But he’d been stewing in his bad mood for five years and he’d thought he might be stuck there.
‘Anyway, I’m Rose McIntyre. Locum nurse extraordinaire.’ She stuck out her hand, long feminine fingers.
Which he took and shook, trying to ignore more fizzing, this time over his skin as her fingers slipped from his. He caught her gaze and wondered whether she’d felt it too.
No. No hint of any kind of fizzing on her side. Why on earth would she? He dragged his eyes from hers and tried to be more professional. ‘So, from somewhere down south, judging by the accent?’
She nodded and two small dots of pink bloomed on her cheeks. ‘Born and bred in London.’
‘But…?’
‘But what?’ The pink intensified.
‘There must be a but if you’ve moved away from your home to little old Oakdale in the middle of nowhere.’
‘It’s so beautiful here.’ But her demeanour changed, the openness in her eyes shuttered down. ‘I just needed…wanted a change.’
‘Bright lights and big city getting too much?’
‘Something like that.’ Her gaze slid away from him and she picked up her handbag, signalling the conversation about her was over. She wasn’t going to tell him anything personal, that was for sure. He didn’t even know why he wanted to know. They’d had other locums and he’d never asked about their reasons for coming here. She shook her head as if brushing off a thought and the smile was back on her face. ‘So, anyway, how were the pancakes? Laced with arsenic? No? Too bad.’
‘I wouldn’t blame you if you slipped some into my sandwiches tomorrow. I’ll make sure I don’t label them so you won’t know which are mine.’ He laughed. Actually laughed. It felt strange, muscles working in his belly that were usually only taxed by exercise. ‘No pancakes today. I made her eat porridge, but I was bribed to do pancakes tomorrow. Don’t be surprised if I come in covered in batter. That happens.’
She smiled. ‘Bribery or batter?’
‘Both. Too often.’
‘Kids, eh?’ The way she said it gave him pause. Wistful? Sad? There was a gentle raise of her eyebrows, a shrug. That’s life. But she’d already closed down enough at the remotest hint of a conversation about anything too personal, so he left it.
Suddenly serious, she closed down the computer and stood up. ‘Hey, did you check on Maxine? Have you heard how she’s doing? I mean… I know I’m not a relative or anything and I barely know her, so I hope you don’t think I’m prying, but—’
‘But you probably saved her life and for that I can’t thank you enough.’ If Rose hadn’t been here God knew what might have happened. ‘I just spoke with the cardiologist at Lancaster; she’s comfortable enough and they confirmed a myocardial infarction. She’s going to be in for a while.’
‘Next time you speak to her, give her my regards, please.’
‘I’m going over to the hospital tonight, so will do.’ He checked his watch. Time was marching. He really shouldn’t be standing here doing this, no matter how much he was enjoying trying to make amends. Thank God the rain had stopped a few hours ago. The roads would be dry and clear so…he steered his mind from where it usually went when he thought about rain and driving, and reframed things…so it wouldn’t take too long to get there and back. An easy drive of fifty minutes each way.
She frowned at her watch. ‘Really? All that way? It’s getting late.’
‘I’ll take Katy, my daughter; we’ll just pop in for a quick visit.’ It would have to be a very quick visit if he didn’t move soon. But his mouth started to run away on a different tangent. ‘You enjoyed your walk this morning? Except the part where a bad-tempered bloke bawled you out?’
She brushed her hand along her hair, smoothing some wayward wisps, and nodded, an ironic smile at the memory. ‘Well, yes, apart from grumpy men commenting on my inappropriate, but very lovely, cardigan it is beautiful up there. I can see why you live in that house—the view’s amazing and it’s such a quaint cottage.’
Pippa had loved it too, the second she’d set foot on the land. More than enough bedrooms, the perfect garden, a kitchen with the best view in the county. He’d bought it for her, for their future and the big family they were going to have…
And just like that his dead wife slipped so easily back into his brain. A familiar tight ache settled under his ribcage. Maybe he hadn’t moved on as much as he’d thought. ‘Yes. On a clear day you can see as far as Morecambe.’ His voice was tighter, as if his throat had been rubbed with sandpaper.
If Rose noticed she didn’t make it obvious. ‘Someone told me you could see all the way to Ireland, but I think they were pulling my leg. I only walked up to Craggy Gill and back this morning. Just a quick stretch of my legs before I came in here.’
Fifteen minutes from his house. ‘I should have asked you where you were headed then. Lesson learnt.’ But the thought of Pippa reminded him of everything he should be doing instead of standing here trying to make a pretty woman smile. ‘Right. I have to go.’
He didn’t want to. Something about her made him want to hang around and chat. But… Katy. Maxine. Pip. Sweet Pip. The hollow in his chest expanded.
Was he moving on? Could he? There was that panic again, deep inside.
Rose headed towards the door. ‘Great, I’ll come with you.’
‘No.’ He had to get his head sorted. And collect his daughter, then drive to Lancaster Hospital.
‘Just outside. That’s all.’ Rose blinked. Twice. ‘I don’t know how to lock up.’ She wiggled her fingers. ‘No keys?’
‘Right. Yes.’ What had he been thinking? That she’d somehow want to come with him? Home? To the hospital? Anywhere? What a ridiculous idea. Almost as ridiculous as wanting to make her smile, instead of reminding himself how futile that would be.
‘Are you taking your medications?’
‘Of course. Not something I’m about to forget, right? They keep me alive.’ Rose sighed inwardly and shook her head. It was lovely that her mother was so concerned, but really…sometimes the concern was beyond suffocating.
‘Why are you so breathless? What’s the matter? Are you ill? Have you got an infection?’
‘I’m climbing a mountain, Mum.’ Despite the pride at being able to achieve something she’d never imagined possible a few years ago, Rose felt her mother’s anxiety shimmering down the phone all the way from London. It didn’t matter how many miles she put between them, there was no escape when she was only a phone call away. Still, she couldn’t pop round unannounced like she used to do, not without a lot of planning. Rose tried to steady her breathing, but that wasn’t easy on the uphill. ‘Please don’t worry about me. It’ll make you sick again. I’m fine. Really.’
‘You’re climbing a mountain? In the dark? Why on earth would you do that?’
Good question. Rose stopped for a minute to catch her breath and take in the view. A cloudless sky, lit by a silvery moon, more stars than she’d ever imagined there could be above her. And then, below that, a horizon of dark shadows of the mountains surrounding the village, and the orange lights in the Oakdale houses illuminating the foothills like glow-worms.
Magical. Breathtaking. Peaceful. So peaceful. No one to challenge her, to compare her to how she used to be, no one to tell her how much she’d changed. No one to nag her, to fuss. No one to trouble her.
Except for a certain grumpy doctor she couldn’t stop thinking about… That was troubling. She’d only spent one day in his company but he intrigued her, probably a lot more than he should. From that whole Nordic vibe he had going on to the full body tingle she’d had when they shook hands.
Tingling wasn’t on her agenda. She’d come to lick her wounds and start afresh, have an adventure with a big emphasis on not getting involved with another man for a very long time. She’d had enough of being told what to do and how to act…and, after being in hospital for so long, everyone had been an expert on how she should behave.
Not any more!
Besides, Dr Thor had a mother-in-law, ergo he was married. He had a child. He was so off-limits he might as well have been in Outer Mongolia or… Norway.
Breathing in the cold fresh air, she tried to still her mind the way she’d been taught. In. Out. In. Out. Feet on the earth. Breathe the scents of wildflowers and grass. Listen. Up here it was completely silent, apart from the wheeze in her chest at the unusual exertion. And the palpable panic from her mother. ‘Rose? Are you still there? Why are you up a mountain?’
‘Oh. Yes, sorry. I’m just dropping something off at someone’s house.’
‘Whose house?’
Thor’s. She smiled to herself. He really did have nice eyes and a smile that transformed his face, when he remembered to do it. When he allowed himself… There was something locked up inside him; she could see that. Something had happened to make him so tetchy and reserved. She just didn’t know what. Didn’t want to know, really. Because everyone had something, right? ‘Just the boss’s house.’
‘What kind of boss brings you out at night in the dark? Walking up a hill? Does he know about your heart—?’
‘No.’ Rose cut her mother off. At some point she’d realise her daughter wasn’t an invalid any more, but it hadn’t hit home yet. ‘There’s no reason to tell him, okay? Why would I? The job agency only ask if there are any medical issues that interfere with my ability to do the job. And I don’t have any. I’m healthy. Healthier than a lot of people my age. I get lots of exercise, I eat well. I take my tablets and I get regular check-ups.’