Ga. In the mean Time I take a special Care of three Things.
Er. What are they?
Ga. First of all to make a good Progress in Morality, and if I can't do that, I am resolv'd to maintain an unspotted Innocence and good Name; and last of all I furnish myself with Languages and Sciences that will be of Use in any Kind of Life.
Er. But do you neglect the Poets?
Ga. Not wholly, but I read generally the chastest of them, and if I meet with any Thing that is not modest, I pass that by, as Ulysses passed by the Sirens, stopping his Ears.
Er. To what Kind of Study do you chiefly addict your self? To Physic, the Common or Civil Law, or to Divinity? For Languages, the Sciences and Philosophy are all conducive to any Profession whatsoever.
Ga. I have not yet thoroughly betaken myself to any one particularly, but I take a Taste of all, that I be not wholly ignorant of any; and the rather, that having tasted of all I may the better chuse that I am fittest for. Medicine is a certain Portion in whatsoever Land a Man is; the Law is the Way to Preferment: But I like Divinity the best, saving that the Manners of some of the Professors of it, and the bitter Contentions that are among them, displease me.
Er. He won't be very apt to fall that goes so warily along. Many in these Days are frighted from Divinity, because they are afraid they should not be found in the Catholick Faith, because they see no Principle of Religion, but what is called in Question.
Ga. I believe firmly what I read in the holy Scriptures, and the Creed, called the Apostles, and I don't trouble my Head any farther: I leave the rest to be disputed and defined by the Clergy, if they please; and if any Thing is in common Use with Christians that is not repugnant to the holy Scriptures, I observe it for this Reason, that I may not offend other People.
Er. What Thales taught you that Philosophy?
Ga. When I was a Boy and very young, I happen'd to live in the House with that honestest of Men, John Colet, do you know him?
Er. Know him, ay, as well as I do you.
Ga. He instructed me when I was young in these Precepts.
Er. You won't envy me, I hope, if I endeavour to imitate you?
Ga. Nay, by that Means you will be much dearer to me. For you know, Familiarity and good Will, are closer ty'd by Similitude of Manners.
Er. True, but not among Candidates for the same Office, when they are both sick of the same Disease.
Ga. No, nor between two Sweet-hearts of the same Mistress, when they are both sick of the same Love.
Er. But without jesting, I'll try to imitate that Course of Life.
Ga. I wish you as good Success as may be.
Er. It may be I shall overtake thee.
Ga. I wish you might get before me; but in the mean Time I won't stay for you; but I will every Day endeavour to out-go myself, and do you endeavour to out-go me if you can.
THE ART OF HUNTING
The ARGUMENTThis Colloquy presents you with the Art of Hunting; Fishing, of bringing Earth-Worms out of the Ground, of sticking Frogs.
PAUL, THOMAS, VINCENT, LAWRENCE, BARTHOLUS.
Pa. Every one to his Mind. I love Hunting.
Th. And so do I too, but where are the Dogs? The hunting Poles? And the hunting Nets?
Pa. Farewell Boars, Bears, Bucks, and Foxes, we'll lay Snares for Rabbets.
Vi. But I'll set Gins for Locusts and Crickets.
La. But I'll catch Frogs.
Ba. I'll hunt Butterflies.
La. 'Tis difficult to follow flying Creatures.
Ba. It is difficult, but 'tis fine Sport; unless you think it finer Sport to hunt after Earth-Worms, Snails or Cockles, because they have no Wings.
La. Indeed I had rather go a Fishing; I have a neat Hook.
Ba. But where will you get Baits?
La. There are Earth-Worms enough every where to be had.
Ba. So there is, if they would but creep out of the Ground to you.
La. But I'll make a great many thousand jump out presently.
Ba. How? By Witch-Craft?
La. You shall see the Art. Fill this Bucket with Water, break these green Peels of Walnuts to Pieces and put into it: Wet the Ground with the Water. Now mind a little, do you see them coming out?
Ba. I see a Miracle. I believe the armed Men started out of the Earth after this Manner from the Serpents Teeth that were sown: But a great many Fish are of too fine and delicate a Palate to be catch'd by such a vulgar Bait.
La. I know a certain Sort of an Insect that I us'd to catch such with.
Ba. See if you can impose upon the Fishes so, I'll make work with the Frogs.
La. How, with a Net?
Ba. No, with a Bow.
La. That's a new Way of Fishing!
Ba. But 'tis a pleasant one; you'll say so, when you see it.
Vi. What if we two should play at holding up our Fingers?
Ba. That's an idle, clownish Play indeed, fitter for them that are sitting in a Chimney Corner, than those that are ranging in the Field.
Vi. What if we should play at Cob-Nut?
Pa. Let us let Nuts alone for little Chits, we are great Boys.
Vi. And yet we are but Boys for all that.
Pa. But they that are fit to play at Cob-Nut, are fit to ride upon a Hobby-Horse.
Vi. Well then, do you say what we shall play at; and I'll play at what you will.
Pa. And I'll be conformable.
SCHOLASTIC STUDIES
The ARGUMENTThis Colloquy treats of scholastic Studies, and School Plays, I. The Boys going into the School. The striking of a Clock. A whipping Master. Of saying a Lesson. Fear hurts the Memory. 2. Of Writing, the Paper sinks. Of making a Pen. Of a hard Nip. A soft Nip. Of writing quick, well.
SYLVIUS, JOHN.
Sy. What makes you run so, John?
Jo. What makes a Hare run before the Dogs, as they use to say?
Sy. What Proverb is this?
Jo. Because unless I am there in Time, before the Bill is called over, I am sure to be whipp'd.
Sy. You need not be afraid of that, it is but a little past five: Look upon the Clock, the Hand is not come to the half Hour Point yet.
Jo. Ay, but I can scarce trust to Clocks, they go wrong sometimes.
Sy. But trust me then, I heard the Clock strike.
Jo. What did that strike?
Sy. Five.
Jo. But there is something else that I am more afraid of than that, I must say by Heart a good long Lesson for Yesterday, and I am afraid I can't say it.
Sy. I am in the same Case with you; for I myself have hardly got mine as it should be.
Jo. And you know the Master's Severity. Every Fault is a Capital one with him: He has no more Mercy of our Breeches, than if they were made of a Bull's Hide.
Sy. But he won't be in the School.
Jo. Who has he appointed in his Place?
Sy. Cornelius.
Jo. That squint-ey'd Fellow! Wo to our Back-Sides, he's a greater Whip-Master than Busby himself.
Sy. You say very true, and for that Reason I have often wish'd he had a Palsy in his Arm.
Jo. It is not pious to wish ill to ones Master: it is our Business rather to take Care not to fall under the Tyrant's Hands.
Sy. Let us say one to another, one repeating and the other looking in the Book.
Jo. That's well thought on.
Sy. Come, be of good Heart; for Fear spoils the Memory.
Jo. I could easily lay aside Fear, if I were out of Danger; but who can be at Ease in his Mind, that is in so much Danger.
Sy. I confess so; but we are not in Danger of our Heads, but of our Tails.
* * * * *2. Of Writing.
CORNELIUS, ANDREW.
Co. You write finely, but your Paper sinks. Your Paper is damp, and the Ink sinks through it.
An. Pray make me a Pen of this.
Co. I have not a Pen-knife.
An. Here is one for you.
Co. Out on't, how blunt it is!
An. Take the Hoan.
Co. Do you love to write with a hard-nip'd Pen, or a soft?
An. Make it fit for your own Hand.
Co. I use to write with a soft Nip.
An. Pray write me out the Alphabet.
Co. Greek or Latin?
An. Write me the Latin first; I'll try to imitate it.
Co. Give me some Paper then.
An. Take some.
Co. But my Ink is too thin, by often pouring in of Water.
An. But my Cotton is quite dry.
Co. Squeeze it, or else piss in it.
An. I had rather get some Body to give me some.
Co. It is better to have of one's own, than to borrow.
An. What's a Scholar without Pen and Ink?
Co. The same that a Soldier is without Shield or Sword.
An. I wish my Fingers were so nimble, I can't write as fast as another speaks.
Co. Let it be your first chief Care to write well, and your next to write quick: No more Haste than good Speed.
An. Very well; say to the Master when he dictates, no more Haste than good Speed.
* * * * *_A Form of giving Thanks.
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1
Gallus: meaning also a Cock.
2
Immunis instead of immune agreeing with Londinum.
3
Edict of the Emperor Charles V.: 1523.
4
Publius Syrus (B.C. 45), a writer of mimes, or familiar prose dramas. A collection of apophthegms from his works is said to have been used as a school-book in Jerome's days.
5
Lit.: One stained or smeared: an epithet of Bacchus (Dionysos) in Sicily, "smeared with wine-lees." ([Greek: moryssô].)
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