Heart Of The Family

Lord, help! When she had decided to come back to the town and settle down, she’d discovered Jacob Hartman still lived in Cimarron City and was a doctor, one of nine pediatricians, but why did he have to be involved with her children?

“Hannah, are you all right?”

His rich, deep-toned voice penetrated her thoughts. She blinked and focused on his face, his features arranged in a pleasing countenance that made him extra attractive—if she were interested, which she wasn’t. His casual air gave the impression of not having a care in the world. Did he even comprehend the pain his actions caused?

“I’m fine.” Hannah stuffed her hands into her pants pockets. “Andy’s doing okay. He’s going around, having everyone sign his cast. If any good has come out of the accident, I would say it has been an icebreaker for him with the others.” When she realized she was beginning to ramble, she clamped her lips together, determined not to show how nervous and agitated she was.

Jacob’s smile faded as he continued to stare at her. “I’m glad something good came out of it.”

Tension invaded his voice, mirroring hers. She curled her hands in her pockets into fists and forced a grin to her lips as she turned toward Laura. “I’d better get back to the house. I just wanted to let you know about Andy. Good day, Dr. Hartman.” If she kept things strictly formal and professional, she would be all right.

Hannah started across the pasture toward the refuge, the crisp fall air cooling her heated cheeks. Keep walking. Don’t look back. She thought of her Bible in her room at the house and knew she needed to do some reading this evening when the children were settled in their beds. Somehow she had to make enough peace with the situation to allow her to do her job. She wanted what was best for the children and if that meant tolerating Dr. Hartman occasionally, then she could do it. The needs of the children came first.

“Do you get the feeling that Hannah Smith doesn’t like me?” Jacob followed the woman’s progress across the field.

Laura peered in the same direction. “There was a certain amount of tension. I just thought it was because of Andy’s accident. I think she blames herself.”

“I think it’s something else.” Jacob kneaded the nape of his neck, his muscles coiled in a knot. “Tell me about our new Stone’s Refuge’s manager.”

“She just completed her bachelor’s degree in social work from a college in Mississippi.”

“What brought her to Oklahoma? The job?”

Laura laughed. “In our short existence we are garnering a good reputation but not that good so we can attract job candidates from out of state. She used to live here once and wanted to come back. She heard about the job from a classmate, who lives in Tulsa, and applied. Personally I think the Lord brought her to us. She’s perfect for the job and beat every other candidate hands down.”

“High praise coming from you.”

“When the third house is finished, we’re going to need someone highly organized and capable. We’ll have almost thirty children, ranging in ages from five to eighteen. I’m hoping to bring in another couple like Cathy and Roman for the third home and eventually have one in the second cottage, too.”

“What happens to Hannah Smith then? I understand she’s living in the second cottage right now.” He had heard and sensed Hannah’s passion for her job earlier and agreed with Laura she would be good as the refuge’s manager.

“We’ll need someone to oversee all three homes. I can’t do it and run the foundation, too. Raising money is a full-time job. If she wants to continue living on-site, we’ll come up with something, but I’d like a man and woman in each cottage in the long run, sort of like a surrogate mother and father for the children.”

He had pledged himself and his resources to the Henderson Foundation because he knew how lacking good care was for children without a home and family. “I’ll do whatever you need.”

“I want you to find out what’s going on with Hannah. If there’s something concerning you, take care of it. She’s perfect for the job, and I don’t want to lose her. You can charm the spots off a leopard.”

“I think you’ve got me confused with Noah.” He peered toward the group homes. “Are you sure there isn’t something else I could do?” He wished he had the ease with women that Noah did. His foster brother rarely dated the same lady for more than a month while lately he had no time to date even one woman.

“Yeah, while you’re over there, check and see how Andy is faring. I worry about him.”

“You worry about all of them.”

“Hey, I thought I heard your car.” Peter emerged from the barn, a smile of greeting on his face. “What brings you out this way? Is someone sick?”

“Do I have to have a reason to pay good friends a visit?”

Peter slipped his arms around Laura’s waist, and she leaned back against him. “No, but I know how busy you’ve been, and it isn’t even flu season yet.”

Watching Peter and Laura together produced an ache deep in Jacob’s heart. He wanted that with a woman, but Peter was right. His work and church took up so much of his life that he hadn’t dated much since setting up his practice two years ago. And you have to date to become involved with a woman, he thought with a wry grin. Maybe Noah could give him lessons after all.

Laura’s gaze fastened on him. “Jacob’s just leaving. He’s going over to check on Andy.”

A scowl descended over Peter’s features. “Andy’s situation is a tough one. His mother is fighting the state. She wants him back.”

“To use as a punching bag.” Jacob clenched his jaw. He couldn’t rid himself of the feeling Andy and his situation were too similar to his own experiences growing up, as though he had to relive his past through the child. He’d been blessed finally to find someone like Paul and Alice Henderson to set him on the right path. “If at all possible, I won’t let that happen.” He needed to return the gift the Hendersons had given him.

“Stop by and have dinner with us when you’re through. I want to discuss the plans for a fourth house.”

“Peter, I love your ambition, but the third one isn’t even half-finished.” Jacob dug into his pocket for his keys.

“But maybe it will be by the holidays. What a wonderful way to celebrate Christ’s birthday with a grand opening!”

“I can’t argue with you on that one, but the weather would have to cooperate for that to happen and you know Oklahoma. When has the weather cooperated?” Jacob headed toward his car. He twice attempted to start it before he managed to succeed and pull away from the barn. He had a woman to charm, he thought with a chuckle.

Andy held up his cast. “See all the names I’ve gotten. All in green.”

Hannah inspected it as though it were a work of art. “You even went to the other cottage.”

“Yep, I didn’t want to leave anyone out.”

Because he knew what it was like to be left out, Hannah thought and took the green marker from Andy to pen her own name on the cast. “There’s hardly any room left.”

He flipped his arm over. “I had them leave a spot for you here.”

Hannah wrote her name over the area above his wrist where a person felt for a pulse.

“I’ve saved a place for Dr. Jacob, too.”

Andy’s declaration jolted Hannah. She nearly messed up her last letter but managed to save it by drawing a line under her name. “You aren’t going back to see Dr. Jacob. Dr. Filmore will be seeing you about your arm.” She realized Jacob Hartman was at the barn talking with Peter and Laura, but hopefully he would leave without coming over here. She needed more time to shore up her defenses. The walk across the pasture hadn’t been nearly long enough.

“He told me he would come see me. He’ll be here. The others said he never breaks a promise.”

That was just great! She was considering retreating to her office off her bedroom when the front door opened and the very man she wanted to avoid entered the cottage. His dark gaze immediately sought hers. A trapped sensation held her immobile next to Andy in the middle of the living area off the entrance.

“Dr. Jacob. You came! I knew you would.” With his hand cradled next to his chest, Andy hurried across the room and came to an abrupt halt inches from the doctor. The boy grinned from ear to ear. “See all the names I have!” He held up the green marker. “Will you sign it?”

“Where?”

“Right under Hannah’s.”

“I’d be honored to sign your cast.” Jacob again looked at her and said, “I’m in good company,” then scribbled his signature on the plaster, a few of his letters touching hers.

The adoring expression on Andy’s face galled her. If the boy only knew—Hannah shook that thought from her mind. She would never say anything. She couldn’t dwell on the past or she would never be able to deal with Jacob in a civil way. She had to rise above her own anger if she was going to continue to work at Stone’s Refuge and put the children’s needs before her own.

Was she being tested by God?

She didn’t have time to contemplate an answer. Kids flooded into the living room to see Dr. Jacob. In less than five minutes, every child in the house surrounded him, asking him questions, telling him about their day at school.

How had he fooled so many people? Maybe she was here to keep an eye on him. But in her heart she knew that wasn’t the reason, because she couldn’t see Peter and Laura having anyone but the best taking care of the foster children.

Jacob tousled Gabe’s hair. “I see you’ve got your baseball. How’s that throwing arm?”

“Great. You should see me.” Gabe grasped Jacob’s hand and tugged him toward the front door. “I’ll show you.”

Jacob allowed himself to be dragged outside, all the kids following. Hannah stepped out onto the porch and observed the impromptu practice in the yard. Laughter floated on the cooling air while the good doctor took turns throwing the ball to various children. They adored Dr. Jacob. She should be cheered by that thought, but Hannah couldn’t help the conflicting emotions warring inside her.

If God had put her here to forgive Jacob, she had a long way to go.

“I thought I saw Jacob’s car.” Cathy, the other cottage mom, came up next to her at the wooden railing. “It’s the ugliest—thing. I can’t even call it a car. I sometimes wonder how he even makes it out here in that rolling death trap.”

Hannah’s fingernails dug into the railing. She hadn’t even been able to see Kevin for one last time at his funeral because of how messed up he had been after the car wreck. Although seven of the children were running around and throwing the ball, all she could see was Jacob standing in the middle, smiling, so full of energy and life. Not a care in the world.

Before long several of the boys ganged up on him, and they began wrestling on the ground even though Jacob had on nice khaki pants and a long-sleeved blue cotton shirt. The gleeful sounds emphasized the fun the kids were having. But the scene was tainted by Hannah’s perception of Jacob Hartman.

“He’s so wonderful with them. If he ever decided to take time for himself, he might find a nice woman to marry and have a boatload of children. He’d make a great dad. Too bad I’m already spoken for.”

Seizing the opportunity to turn her back on Jacob, Hannah swung her attention to Cathy. “To a very nice young man.”

Her assistant smiled. “I know. Roman is the best husband.”

“Where is he?”

“He went over to help Peter at the barn with one of the animals.”

“It’s nice he works at a veterinarian clinic.”

“One day he hopes to go back to school to become a vet even if he’s the oldest student in the class.”

Hannah relaxed back against the railing, allowing some of the tension to flow from her body. The sounds of continual laughter peppered the air. “I was beginning to think that would be the case with me. It’s hard working and going to college at the same time, but it’s worth it when you do finally graduate.”

“I almost forgot the reason I came out here. I passed through the kitchen and Meg said dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes.” Cathy left, walking back to the other cottage next door.

Good. That should put an end to the doctor’s visit. Hannah wheeled around and called out to the nearest two girls who were standing off to the side, watching the melee with the boys. “Let’s get everyone inside to wash their hands for dinner.”

Shortly the group on the ground untangled their limbs and leaped to their feet. They raced toward the door while Jacob moved slowly to rise, his shirttail pulled from his pants, his brown hair lying at odd angles. He tucked in his top and finger combed his short strands.

Andy, who had been standing off to the side watching the fun, shuffled toward Jacob, taking his hand. “Why don’t you eat with us, Dr. Jacob?”

The too-handsome man glanced toward her. The child followed the direction of his gaze and asked, “Can he, Hannah?” When she didn’t immediately answer, he quickly added, “He’d better check me out before bedtime to make sure I’m okay.”

Having stayed behind, too, Gabe took Jacob’s other hand. “Yeah. Don’t forget you promised me the last time you were here that you’d read a story to me before I went to bed.”

That trapped feeling gripped Hannah again. She really didn’t have a reason to tell the man no, and yet to spend the whole evening with him wasn’t her idea of fun.

Hannah shifted from one foot to the other, realizing everyone was staring at her, waiting for an answer she didn’t want to give. She pasted a full-fledged smile on her face that she fought to maintain. “Sure, he can—if he doesn’t mind hamburgers, coleslaw and baked beans.”

He returned her grin. “Sounds wonderful to a man who doesn’t cook. Meg can make anything taste great, even cabbage.”

His warm expression, directed totally at her, tempted her cold heart to thaw. “Cabbage is good for you,” was all she could think of to say.

“Yeah, I know, but that doesn’t mean it tastes good.”

“Yuck. I don’t like it, either.” Gabe puffed out his chest as though he was proud of the fact he and Dr. Jacob were alike in their food preferences.

“Me, neither.” Andy followed suit, straightening his thin frame.

Jacob peered down at both boys. “But Meg makes it taste great, and Hannah is right. It’s good for you. I’ll play a board game with you guys if you finish all your coleslaw. Okay?”

“Yes,” the two shouted, then rushed toward the door.

Oh, great. The evening was going to be a long drawn-out affair with games and reading. Maybe she could gracefully escape to her room after dinner while he entertained the children. Hannah waited until he had mounted the porch steps before saying, “Nice recovery.”

He gave her another heart-melting grin. “I keep forgetting how impressionable these children can be. They’re so hungry for attention and love. I wish I had more time to spend with them.”

No! Please don’t! She pressed her lips together to keep from saying those words aloud. But she couldn’t keep from asking, “Just how involved are you with the refuge?”

He chuckled. “Worried you’ll have to be around me a lot?”

Heat scored her cheeks. Obviously she wasn’t a very good actress, a fact she already knew. She forced a semi-smile to her lips. “I was curious. I just thought you were the refuge’s doctor and that’s all.”

He planted himself in front of her. “I’m more than that. Peter, Noah and I were the ones who started this. Peter is the one in charge because he lives on the property, but I keep very involved. I’m on the foundation board. This project is important to me.”

His words and expression laid down a challenge to her. “It’s important to me, too.” She took one step back. He’s on the foundation board. It’s worse than I thought.

“Why?”

Although the space between them was a few feet, Hannah suddenly had a hard time thinking clearly. A good half a minute passed before she replied, “I went into social work because I want to make a difference, especially with children who need someone to be their champion. Stone’s Refuge gives me a wonderful opportunity to do my heart’s desire.” If I can manage my feelings concerning you.

“Then we have something in common, because that’s why I’m involved with the refuge.”

The idea they had anything in common stunned Hannah into silence.

The front door opened, and Gabe stuck his head out. “Dr. Jacob, are you coming?”

“Sure. I’ll be there in a sec.” When the door closed, he turned back to her, intensity in his brown gaze. “I sense we’ve gotten off on the wrong foot. Somehow we’ll have to manage to work together. I won’t have the children put in the middle.”

She tilted up her chin. “They won’t be.”

“Good. Then we understand each other.”

He left her alone on the porch to gather her frazzled composure. He was absolutely right about never letting the children know how she really felt about their “Dr. Jacob.” She had two choices. She could quit the perfect job or she could stay and deal with her feelings about him, come to some kind of resolution concerning Jacob Hartman. Maybe even manage to forgive him.

There really is only one choice.

Trembling with the magnitude of her decision, Hannah sank back against the railing and folded her arms across her chest. She’d never run from a problem in the past, and she wasn’t going to now. She didn’t quit, either. But most of all, these children needed her. She had so much love to give them. A lifetime of emotions that she’d kept bottled up inside of her while she had been observing life go by her—always an outsider yearning to be included.

So there’s no choice. Lord, I need Your help more now than ever before. I want this to work and I can’t do it without You. How do I forgive the man who killed my brother because I can’t expose his past to the others? The children adore him, and I won’t hurt them.

Jacob finished the last bite of his hamburger and wiped his mouth with his napkin. “So next week is fall break. What kind of plans do you all have for the extra two days off from school?”

Several of the children launched into a description of their plans at the same time.

He held up his hand. “One at a time. I think you were first, Gabe.”

“Peter wants us to help him when he takes some of the animals to several nursing homes on Thursday.”

“And there’s a lot of work to be done on the barn expansion.” Susie, the oldest child in this cottage, which housed the younger kids, piped up the second Gabe stopped talking.

“He’s getting new animals all the time.” Terry, a boy with bright red-orange hair, stuffed the last of his burger into his mouth.

Jacob laughed. “True. Word has gotten around about this place.”

Nancy nodded. “Yep. I found a kitten the other day in the trash can outside.”

Jacob caught Hannah’s attention at the other end of the long table. “Do you have any activities planned that you need a chaperone for next week? Maybe I—”

“I think I’ve got it covered.” She looked down at her plate, using her fork to stir the baked beans around in a circle as if it were the most important thing to do.

“I’m sorry, Hannah, I didn’t get a chance to tell you I won’t be able to go to the zoo with you on Friday.” Meg, the cook and helper, stood and removed some of the dishes from the center of the table. “That was the only time I could get in to see the doctor about the arthritis in my knees.”

Nancy’s blond pigtails bounced as she clapped her hands. “Then Dr. Jacob can go with us!”

Hannah lifted her head and glanced from Meg to Nancy before her regard lit upon him. For a few seconds anxiety clouded her gaze. He started to tell her he didn’t have to go when a smile slowly curved her lips, although it never quite touched her eyes.

“You’re welcome to come with us to the zoo. It’ll be an all-day trip. We leave at ten and probably won’t get home until four.” Her stare stayed fixed upon him.

The intensity in her look almost made Jacob squirm like Andy, who had a hard time keeping still. She might not have meant it, but deep in her eyes he saw a challenge. Determined to break down the barrier she’d erected between them, he nodded. “I’ll be here bright and early next Friday, and I even know how to drive the minibus.”

“That’s great, since I don’t think Hannah’s had a chance to learn yet. If you aren’t used to it, it can be a bit awkward.” Meg stacked several more plates, then headed for the kitchen.

“You can take that kind of time off just like that?” Hannah snapped her fingers.

“I always leave some time during a break or the holidays for the kids.”

“Yep.” Terry, the child who had been at the cottage the longest, stood to help Meg take the dishes into the kitchen.

“Well, then it’s settled. I appreciate the help, especially with the minibus.” Hannah rose. “Who has homework still to do tonight?” She scanned the faces of the eight children at the dining-room table.

Several of them confessed to having to do more homework and left to get their books.

Gabe, short for his nine years, held up his empty plate. “I ate all my coleslaw.”

“Me, too.” Andy gestured toward his as Susie took it.

“You two aren’t part of the cleanup crew?” Jacob gave the girl his dishes.

Both boys shook their heads.

“Then get a game out, and I’ll be in there in a minute.”

“Can I play, too?” Nancy leaped to her feet. “I don’t have to clean up.”

Gabe frowned and started to say something, but Jacob cut him off with, “Sure you can.”

Nancy, being in kindergarten, was the youngest in the house. Jacob suspected that and the fact she was a girl didn’t set well with Gabe, and judging by Andy’s pout, him, either. But Jacob knew the importance of bonding as a family and that meant every child, regardless of sex or age, should have an opportunity to play.

Gabe and Andy stomped off with Nancy right behind them, her pigtails swinging as she hurried to keep up. Jacob turned toward Hannah and noticed the dining-room table had been cleared and they were totally alone now. That fact registered on her face at the same time. Her eyes flared for a second, then an indecipherable expression descended as though a door had been shut on him.

“I’m glad we have a few minutes alone.” The look of surprise that flashed into her eyes made him smile. “I forgot to tell you earlier that Andy’s mother is fighting to get him back. Peter just found out today.”

“She is?”

“And I’m not going to let that happen. I’ve seen his injuries.” I’ve been there. I know the horror. “He’s better off without her.”

“If she cleans up her act and stops taking drugs, he might be all right going back home. In the short time I’ve been around him, I’ve seen how determined he is to get back there.”

“He isn’t better off if he returns to her. Believe me.”

A puzzled look creased her forehead. “Then why does he want to go home?”

He shook his head slowly. “You’re new at this. Take my word in this situation—he shouldn’t go back to his mother. He’s the caretaker in that family of two and he feels responsibility as a parent would. Certainly his mother doesn’t.”

Hannah’s face reddened. She came around the side of the table within a few feet of him. “How do you know this for a fact? Has Andy said anything to you?”

“No, I just know. I was in foster care for many years. I’ve seen and heard many things you’ve never dreamed of. Give yourself a year. Your attitude that the birth parent is best will change.”

“I believe if it’s possible a family should be together. Tearing one apart can be devastating to a child.”

The ardent tone in her voice prodded his anger. His past dangled before him in all its pain and anguish. His heartbeat thundered in his ears, momentarily drowning out the sounds of the children in the other room. “Keeping a family together sometimes can be just as devastating.” He balled his hands at his sides. “Why did you really go into social work?” he asked as though her earlier reason wasn’t enough.