A Hero of Her Own

“Hi, Clay,” Ryder said, his voice husky with emotion.

There was a moment of charged hesitation, then Clay took two steps forward and embraced his brother. Tears filled Jewel’s eyes. Tamara’s eyes were suspiciously bright, as well.

Jewel jumped up and hugged Ana. “I’ve missed you so much,” she said. She and Ana had formed a friendship while Ana had worked for her. Jewel cooed over the baby, then stepped back.

It seemed that suddenly everyone was talking at once and in the melee Tamara shocked everyone by confessing that she and Clay had eloped and were married.

As a new round of hugging and backslapping began, Jewel slid out of the room and then out of the house, wanting to leave the family alone for their reunion.

She had a feeling that the issues that had torn Clay and Ryder apart were behind them and the brothers were on their way to building a new, close relationship. She was thrilled for them, but as she walked toward the stables a new sense of loneliness weighed her down.

Clay and Tamara were married and it had been obvious by the glow on Ana’s face that she and Ryder were probably not far behind. There seemed to be a marriage epidemic breaking out in Esperanza. But Jewel had not caught the bug, and felt immune to anything even remotely romantic.

On more than one occasion Deputy Adam Rawlings had made it clear that he was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with her. They’d seen each other socially several times but, try as she might, she just didn’t feel more than friendship for him. Besides, with the nightmares she’d been suffering on a regular basis, she was probably better off alone. No man would want to spend his nights with her while she was haunted by ghosts from her past.

She dismissed all thoughts of romance from her mind as she entered the stables. The kids were just finishing up brushing down their horses and Burt approached her with a friendly smile.

“They’re just about done,” he said.

“How did Kelsey do?” she asked, hoping the new girl had opened up a bit.

“Never said a word to anyone, but she’s got a natural seat in the saddle. She grow up around horses?”

“No, just the opposite. She’s an inner-city kid, probably has never been on a horse in her life,” Jewel replied.

Burt looked over to where Kelsey was working on the horse, a look of fierce concentration on her face. “She shows all the signs of being a born rider. I hope she sticks around long enough for me to work with her more extensively.”

“She’s not going anywhere for a while. We’ve got lots of work to do with her,” Jewel replied.

It took another half an hour to get all the children loaded into the bus and headed back the short distance to the Hopechest Ranch. The noise level was just below that of a jet engine as they all chatted about their horses and the riding experience. The only one who didn’t say a word was Kelsey, who stared out the window as if she were lost in a world of her own.

Jewel was determined to break into that world. It wasn’t just her job, it was a calling from her very soul.

“Everybody out and you can have free time play in the garage until dinnertime,” Jewel said as she parked in front of the house. One section of the threecar garage had been turned into a playroom, complete with toys and games and craft items.

All the kids headed for the garage except Kelsey, who lingered behind. “Is it okay if I just go to my room?” she asked.

Jewel would have preferred she go with the other children and interact, but she also knew it was going to take some time for Kelsey to feel safe here, to feel as if she were part of the group.

She placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder. “That’s fine. Dinner is at five-thirty so make sure you’re in the kitchen by then.”

Kelsey nodded and headed inside. Jewel lingered outside, fighting a wave of exhaustion. The restless nights and bad dreams were getting more frequent, and more difficult to handle.

She raised her face to the warmth of the sun and once again thought about romance. Maybe she was incapable of loving anyone. Maybe the love she’d had for Andrew had been all she had and once it had been given she’d been left empty.

Of course, that didn’t explain the odd tingle of excitement she felt whenever she was around Quinn. Female hormones reminding her that she was alive—that’s all it was, she told herself.

It was impossible for her to fall in love again, especially with her past visiting her every night in the form of nightmares.

Voices in the night. Visions in the woods. Equally as haunting as the dreams was the fear that somehow she was slowly falling into the mental illness that had consumed her mother.

“She should be just fine,” Quinn assured Ralph Smith, a local rancher who had called him about a cow who had gotten caught in some barbed wire. “All the wounds are superficial and now that I’ve cleaned her up and applied antibiotic cream, she shouldn’t have any problems.”

He slapped the rear of the big animal and with a low moo she headed back toward the pasture. “I’d definitely do something about that barbed wire.”

Ralph frowned toward a stand of trees and brush. “I didn’t even know it was there, just tangled up in all the weeds, but I’ll get it out of here today.”

Together the two men walked toward the gate in the fence. Initially, coming out here and meeting up with Ralph had been awkward. Ralph had been one of the loudest, most critical ranchers when Quinn had been forced to put down Clay Colton’s prized stud.

It had been the second-darkest time in Quinn’s life. The darkest had been when he’d lost his wife, Sarah, to cancer.

Even though Quinn had been proven right in his diagnosis of the disease that had infected Clay’s stud, even thought his decision to put the horse down had probably saved the rest of the stock, Quinn had never quite gotten over how quickly some of the locals had turned on him.

The fact that Ralph had called him to come and check out the cow was an olive branch he had extended to Quinn. It had been a long time coming, but Quinn wasn’t a man to hold a grudge. Life was too damned short.

“Just let me know if the wounds begin to ooze or look infected and I’ll come back out,” Quinn said as he reached the door of his pickup truck.

“I appreciate it, Doc.” Ralph held out his hand and the two men shook.

Minutes later as Quinn drove away from the Smith ranch and back toward town, he thought about those dark days when many in the town had turned their backs on him, made darker because he was still grieving for his wife. At the time all he had was his work and when that took a hit, he considered packing up and leaving Esperanza.

Instead, with the support of the Coltons, Clay in particular, he’d stayed and held his head high. When his decision to put the stud down had been vindicated, he’d put the whole ordeal behind him and got on with his life.

As he drove down Main Street, he decided to stop for dinner at Miss Sue’s Café, where he took many of his evening meals. He told himself it was because he hated to cook, but the truth was he dreaded the evening hours spent alone.

An old-fashioned cowbell heralded his arrival as he entered the quaint café. “You’re a bit early today, Quinn,” Becky French, the owner of the establishment, greeted him with a warm smile.

He smiled at the short, plump woman. “It’s never too early for a good meal.” He walked over to one of the wooden tables by the window and sat in a chair where he could easily see out the window.

“Got some new pictures,” Becky said as she poured him a cup of coffee. There was nothing Becky loved more than to show off pictures of her grandchildren. She set the coffeepot down and dug into her apron pocket to withdraw a handful of photos.

Quinn took them from her and studied each of the smiling childish faces. “They’re beautiful,” he said.

Becky smiled and nodded. “They are.” She tucked the photos back in her apron. “I’ll just give you a few minutes. The special is smothered steak and mashed potatoes.”

“Then I don’t need a minute. That sounds good.” He returned the menu and leaned back in the chair to sip his coffee. She scurried away, the gray bun on top of her head bobbing with her brisk walk.

Kids. At one time Quinn had hoped to have a house full, but fate and cancer had stolen that dream from him. He and Sarah had never had a chance for children.

Even though it was early, there were already other diners in the café. Quinn had never been in the place when there weren’t at least a handful of people. Most mealtimes the place was packed.

He’d just finished his coffee when Georgie Sheffield, her husband, Nick, and her daughter, little Emmie, came through the door.

“I hear we just missed you this morning at Clay’s,” Georgie said to him. “We had a reunion. Ryder and Ana are back in town and we took them to Clay’s.” Georgie’s green eyes sparkled brightly. “It was wonderful.”

Emmie sidled up next to Quinn. At five years old, the little girl was the spitting image of her mother. Her red hair was cut pixielike to frame her face and she was dressed just like her mama in jeans, a Western-style shirt and cowboy boots.

Emmie was bright and precocious and had spent most of her young life on the rodeo circuit with her mother. The little girl considered Quinn a special friend because he fixed horses when they got sick and there were few things Emmie loved more than horses and cowboys.

“Excuse me, Mommy, but I want to talk to Mr. Quinn,” Emmie said. Georgie smiled with amusement and nodded. “Guess what happens next week?”

“I can’t imagine. What?” Quinn replied.

She leaned closer, bringing with her the scent of sunshine and childhood. “School begins.”

“Ah.” Quinn smiled at her. “And what are you, in the second grade, the third?”

“Maybe I should be because you know I can already read,” Emmie exclaimed. She leaned even closer. “But, truly it’s going to be my very first day of kindergarten.” A fierce look of determination crossed her petite features. “And I’m going to make one new friend, even if he or she isn’t a cowboy.”

“I think that sounds like a wonderful plan,” Quinn said.

Emmie turned to her mother and Nick. “And now I’ll go pick us out a table.”

As she left the adults behind, Georgie offered Quinn a weak smile. “I can’t believe she’s starting school. She’s so comfortable around adults. Her friends have always been rodeo cowboys. I just hope she fits in okay.” Her eyes clouded and sparkled with sudden tears of worry.

“I’m sure she’ll be just fine,” Quinn said.

“Of course she will,” Nick agreed, and placed an arm around Georgie’s shoulder. “She’s as strong as her mother and almost as pretty.”

Georgie laughed and leaned into Nick. He grinned at Quinn. “You just wait, maybe someday you’ll have to live through the trauma of the first day of school.”

As the two of them joined Emmie, who had chosen a table toward the back of the café, Quinn thought about what Nick had said.

He and Sarah had talked about having children one day, but before that dream had been realized she’d been diagnosed with the malignant aggressive brain tumor that had taken her in six short months. They’d had only nine months of marriage before her diagnosis.

Sarah had been a quiet, thoughtful woman and when she died, she did so as quietly and unassumingly as she had lived. He’d grieved deep and hard for a long time. Now when he thought of Sarah, the sharp despair was gone and he was left with a loneliness and a growing desire to get on with his life.

“Here we are,” Becky said as she delivered his meal. “Anything else I can do for you?” she asked as she poured him another cup of coffee.

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

“You’re not good,” Becky replied, her blue eyes sparkling with the liveliness that was her trademark. “You know I’m not happy unless I’m minding everyone’s business but my own. You need a woman, Quinn. You spend far too much time at this table all alone—no offense.”

He laughed. “None taken. I was just sitting here thinking the same thing.”

“We’ve got a lot of nice single women in this town who’d love to see you socially. You’re that strong, silent type. A little bit of that is quite romantic, but too much of it puts off the ladies.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Quinn replied. It was impossible to be offended by Becky’s advice because he knew how well intentioned it was.

As she left his table, his thoughts turned to the woman he’d met in the woods the night before. Jewel. From the moment he’d first met her, she’d intrigued him.

Certainly he found her amazingly attractive with her short, tousled, streaked golden-brown hair and big brown eyes. Although slender, she had curves in all the right places and legs that seemed to go on forever.

Last night wasn’t the first time he’d seen her wandering the woods around the Hopechest Ranch, although it was the first time he’d let her know he was there.

Quinn had a feeling he and Jewel suffered from the same afflictions—insomnia and loneliness. Quinn often spent the nighttime hours at Clay’s place where he boarded his horse, Noches.

What he didn’t understand was what had made Jewel scream in the woods the night before and why she’d looked positively haunted when he’d encountered her.

Chapter 3

As the purple shadows of twilight began to deepen, a responding tension filled Jewel. It wasn’t natural for the coming of night to bring something that tasted very much like suppressed terror into the back of her throat.

Jeff and Cheryl were in the process of getting the kids ready for bed and Jewel sat at the kitchen table making a list of school supplies she needed to purchase before school began next week.

When she finished her list, she would tuck each of the children in for the night. Those minutes just before bedtime, when she connected with each of the children with a good-night kiss and a wish for sweet dreams, was an important part of the routine of love that abounded at the ranch.

A knock sounded on the front door and she looked at the clock. Although it felt much later, it was only just after seven.

She hurried to the front door and opened it to see Deputy Adam Rawlings. As usual not a strand of his dark brown hair was out of place and he was impeccably dressed in his khaki uniform. “Hi, Adam.”

“I was just out making rounds and thought I’d stop by and say hello,” he said.

Jewel flipped on the outside light and stepped out on the porch to join him. “Quiet night?” she asked.

“Most of them are quiet,” he replied. “Not that I’m complaining. I heard you’ve got a new boarder. How’s that working out?”

She nodded. “A thirteen-year-old girl named Kelsey from Chicago. If you’d asked me yesterday how things were going I would have said not well. She was quiet and withdrawn. But today she appears more open. She loved the riding lessons at Clay’s yesterday and wanted to know when we’d be going again.” She broke off as she realized she was beginning to ramble.

“How’s everything else going?” he asked. His gaze narrowed slightly. “You look tired.”

“I am,” she admitted. “I was just sitting at the table, thinking about everything I need to buy for the kids to start school next week.” She smiled. “Trying to figure out school supplies for seven kids in seven different classes is enough to make anyone tired.”

“I’ll let you get back to it. I just thought I’d check in and see how you were doing.” He shifted his muscular body from one foot to the other. “If you get a minute to yourself and want to get dinner out or maybe see a movie, you know all you have to do is just call me.”

She smiled. “Thank you, Adam. I’ll keep that in mind.”

They said goodbye and then she watched as he left the porch and walked back to his patrol car. He seemed like such a nice man, good-looking and obviously interested in her. Unfortunately, she just didn’t feel anything for him except a mild friendship.

As his car pulled away, she went back inside to the kitchen table. She finished making her list and by then it was time to kiss the kids good-night.

She went into the boys’ bedroom first. The room held two bunk beds and at the moment all four sleeping places were occupied. Barry and Sam, the two older boys, had the top bunks and eight-year-old Jimmy Nigel and seven-year-old Caleb Torrel had the lower bunks.

“All tucked in?” she asked Barry as she approached him first.

He nodded. “Will you keep the nightlight on?” he asked anxiously. “I’m not scared or anything, but I just don’t like the dark.”

Jewel smiled at the dark-eyed boy. They had this same conversation every night. “The nightlight will be on until morning. Sleep tight, Barry.”

As she moved from Barry to Sam and then to the two younger boys, she couldn’t help but think of the baby she’d lost. She’d desperately wanted to be a mother, had been thrilled to discover she was pregnant. The minute the doctor had confirmed what she’d suspected, her heart had filled with a happiness she’d never known before and hadn’t known since.

As she moved from the boys’ room to the girls’, she shoved away thoughts of the baby she’d lost and dreams of what might have been.

There were three girls in residence at the moment. Kelsey slept on the top bunk of one of the beds and on the lower bunks were Lindy Walker and Carrie Lyndon, both ten years old.

Jewel went to Kelsey first. She didn’t touch the girl in any way, wouldn’t invade Kelsey’s personal space unless she was invited to do so. “Ready to call it a night?”

Kelsey nodded, her green eyes less guarded than they’d been the day before. “I’m not used to going to bed so early.”

Jewel smiled. “We believe in the routine of early to bed, early to rise around here. Besides, with school starting next week, it’s important that all of you get plenty of sleep.”

Jewel moved to the other beds, where the girls demanded good-night kisses and hugs, then she left the room and turned out the light. As in the boys’ room, a small nightlight burned in a wall socket.

She met Cheryl in the hallway and smiled tiredly. “Another day done,” she said.

Cheryl returned her smile and swept a strand of her long, dark hair behind an ear. “I wanted to run an idea by you. Jeff and I would like to plan a day trip for the kids in the next couple of weeks. There’s a Native American museum two hours from here and we thought it would be fun to visit the museum and have a picnic lunch at a nearby park.”

“Sounds like something they would enjoy,” Jewel replied.

“We haven’t finalized a day yet, I just wanted to put a bug in your ear about it.”

“Let me know what you and Jeff decide and we’ll work out the details.”

Cheryl nodded. “Then I’ll just say good night.”

As Cheryl headed toward the front bedroom where she and Jeff slept, Jewel returned to the kitchen. She tucked into her purse the list of supplies she needed to buy, then once again sat at the table to make notes in the files she kept on each of the children.

Busywork. In the back of her mind she knew that’s what she was doing, creating work to keep her mind off the fact that soon it would be time to go to bed.

To sleep.

To dream.

Again the taste of dread mingled with a simmering terror. If only she could have one night of peaceful sleep and happy dreams. If only she could wake up in the morning well-rested and happy.

If only Andrew hadn’t died in the car accident.

She sighed and focused back on the files in front of her. These were her children, the ones who came to Hopechest Ranch in need of stability and love. They were all she needed. And maybe a good night’s sleep was vastly overrated.

She didn’t know how long she’d sat working when she heard a strange scratching sound. She got up from the table and followed the noise to the front door. Definitely sounded like something scratching for attention.

Equally curious and wary, she unlocked the door and cracked it open. The door shoved inward and a chocolate-colored dog jumped up at her. In surprise she stumbled backward and fell on her behind. The dog licked her face as if she were a long-lost friend that he was thrilled to see again.

“Okay, okay,” she said with a burst of laughter as the dog continued to lavish her with kisses. She looked up to see Quinn standing in the doorway. Her heart jumped with a quickened beat.

He stepped inside and took the dog by the collar. “Sorry about that,” he said as she quickly got to her feet. “He’s a Lab and just a puppy so he hasn’t learned his manners yet.”

“It’s okay.” Jewel reached up and self-consciously raked her fingers through her hair. As always the sight of Quinn sent an electrical tingle through her. “He’s a cutie. Is he yours?”

“Actually, I was hoping he’d be yours,” Quinn said.

“Mine?” She looked at him in surprise.

The dog sat on the floor next to him, looking first at Quinn, then at Jewel, as if aware that they were talking about him.

“It might be presumptuous of me, but I thought maybe you could use a companion, especially when you decide to take a walk in the woods late at night.” Quinn shoved a strand of his thick, wavy hair away from his eyes, and shifted from foot to foot, as if suddenly extremely uncomfortable. “Maybe it was a stupid idea.”

“No, it was a lovely idea,” she replied, touched by the thoughtfulness of the gesture. “Actually, we’ve talked about getting a dog since I first opened the doors here, but we’ve just never gotten around to it. What’s his name?”

“He doesn’t have an official name yet.” Quinn’s eyes were a warm topaz. “I have to warn you, he’s only twelve weeks old. He’s not quite housebroken, but he’s a big lover and has a terrific personality. Most important, he’s great with kids.”

“Then how can I possibly turn away such a wonderful gift?” she replied. The children would be positively thrilled with this new addition to the family. “Maybe we’ll put him in the garage for tonight. Do you think that’s okay?”

He nodded and clipped a leash to the collar. “I’m sure that’s fine. Why don’t you take him and I’ll unload the supplies from the truck.”

“Supplies?”

He smiled, a warm, beautiful gesture that detracted from the scar across his cheek and transformed him from slightly dangerous-looking to more than slightly wonderful-looking. “In the truck I’ve got a doggie bed, food and water bowls, a couple of toys and several bags of kibble.”

“Quinn, you didn’t have to do all that,” she protested as she took the leash from him.

“It wouldn’t be fair to give you a gift that cost you a ton of money,” he replied. “And along with the gift comes free veterinary services for the life of that guy. Consider it my donation to Hopechest Ranch.”

She started to protest once again at the generosity of the gift, but then changed her mind and smiled. “Thank you.”

Together they walked out of the door. She headed for one of the three garages as he went out to his truck. The first garage was the playroom for the kids. The second was where she parked her car and the third was currently empty. It was to the empty one that she led the puppy.

As she waited for Quinn she crouched down and stroked the puppy’s back. “We’ll let the kids give you a name,” she said. He gazed at her with big, brown, adoring eyes.

Her heart expanded with warmth. Quinn had brought her a dog to walk in the woods. It was one of the most thoughtful things anyone had ever done for her. He thought she could use a companion.

Had he sensed the deep, abiding loneliness that had been her constant companion for the last couple of years? A loneliness that never went away, no matter how many people surrounded her, no matter how the children filled her days and nights.

She stood as he approached with two big sacks of dog food over his shoulder. Although he was tall and lean, he had broad, strong shoulders that easily managed the heavy bags.