His Baby Dilemma

CHAPTER THREE

THE WALLS OF Mica’s apartment were closing in on him. His heart was racing as if he’d just lifted the John Deere tractor off its tires with both hands. He couldn’t catch his breath.

A son?

When Grace had pulled up, he’d been caught between elation and shock. For a brief moment, he’d actually thought she’d come to back to see him. That she was back in town to stay. Back in his life.

He’d been a fool.

A baby. How had he missed that? He’d known something was wrong when Grace hadn’t answered his texts and emails, though he’d chalked it up to her busy career. And when she’d continued to ignore him, his hurt had turned inward. He should have seen her silence as the red flag it was. Should have pressed her, tried to find out what was going on.

But ultimately, she was the one who should have reached out.

Told him the truth.

And to think only this morning he’d considered her an honest person.

She was about as honest as a cat burglar.

That’s exactly what she is. She swoops into town, takes what she wants from me and leaves. Then, when that doesn’t work out for her, she flies in again and deposits her unwanted “mistake” on my doorstep.

She was a piece of work.

Mica rubbed the back of his neck. Grace had betrayed him in the worst way. As contradictory as his emotions were, he mourned the loss of those precious days in Jules’s life that he’d never get back. How had Mica spent those days? He’d been here, brooding, while his son was learning to smile, to roll over, experiencing so many things for the first time. Despite all he’d lost in the accident, Mica had held on to the dream of one day becoming a father. It had been his one remaining beacon of light.

At the same time, Mica was in no position to take care of a baby. Not yet. As the youngest of four, he’d never changed a diaper. Sure, he played with his nephew, Zeke, but when he got cranky or hungry, Mica handed the baby back to Gabe or Liz.

He raked his fingers through his thick hair, hoping to hold down the top of his head so he wouldn’t explode. Grace had to be out of her mind. None of this was logical. Was it?

He paced the room. His mother was right. Jules was one cute baby. And Grace had him dressed in a little navy jacket with a matching hat. Like he was a doll. Mica would have to find baby cowboy boots. They did make them for babies, didn’t they?

A baby. My son.

Suddenly, his anger deflated and the liquid steel that had been running through his veins dissipated. He collapsed into his recliner chair. “My baby.”

A few moments later, the door swung open. Grace stood in the doorway, hands on her hips and fire in her blue eyes. Her blond hair spread over her shoulders like a veil of gold. She was stunning. He was glad he was sitting down. The pain of her betrayal crept back onto his shoulders like an iron monkey.

“Grace,” he said with as little emotion as he could muster. It took all his self-control not to shut the door in her face. “I don’t want to see you. Or talk to you.”

“I get that.” She came in without an invitation and closed the door with a bit more force than he’d expected. “But that’s what I’m here for. To talk. All day and night and all week, until I have to go back.”

His eyes widened. “You’re only here for a week?”

“Nine days.”

“Well, isn’t that nice. What do you plan to accomplish in nine days?”

“It’s all I had.”

“And I have all the time in the world. It doesn’t work this way, Grace.”

“Well, Mica, that’s the reality. And I have to make this work. In nine days I intend to teach you everything you need to know about taking care of a baby. Feeding him, diapering, bathing him. Loving him.”

“What do you know about love, huh? From my perspective, I see dishonesty. Secrets. Hurting others for the sake of your precious career.”

She approached him. Her face softened, but he didn’t understand why. “I deserved that, Mica,” she said, her voice trembling.

“And more,” he muttered.

“Mica, please listen to me...” There was compassion in her tone, and though he was trying not to let her demeanor affect him, he was rapidly losing ground.

He rubbed his neck again. Something just wasn’t right. Was she acting a part? After all, she’d spent most of her life learning how to please the most critical judges. And he was sitting in judgment of her right now. His wariness was well-placed. “I suppose you’ve sucked my mother into your little scheme.”

“Scheme? You think Jules is part of some sinister plot? To what end? To cause you grief? More pain?” She walked toward him, gesturing with her hands. “Come on. I can take it. Give it to me. Tell me about how I’m intent on blowing up your engineering career. How I’m going to cause you to miss out on a sponsor you’ve been courting for the past year. I want to hear it,” she demanded. “Tell me how, exactly, I’m messing up your life.”

He let out a harsh breath. “Why are you really here, Grace? You want money? Because that’s the only reason I can come up with that makes any sense. You know perfectly well that I’m in no shape to take care of a baby.”

“You’re wrong on all counts. I don’t want your money or your family’s money, and there’s no scheme. All I want is for you to take care of Jules. Not forever. Just for two months or so. I need this time, Mica. I’m on the cusp of something so big, it will establish me in the fashion world. My career can only grow from there. I just need this spring show. Then I’ll come back and take Jules off your hands. You won’t have to worry. If it’s what you want, you’ll never see us again...” she said, trailing off.

“You could have hired a nanny to take care of Jules. Why me?”

Grace grabbed a chair from the little kitchenette table and sat across from him. She clasped her hands in her lap and looked at her thumbs as she worked them over each other. “Because you’re his dad. I’m here to tell you that I was wrong to keep Jules from you. I should have called you when I first found out I was pregnant.”

“Why didn’t you?” He swallowed hard. He wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer.

She paused for a long moment, her hesitation causing her to look around the room. Was she searching for an excuse or for courage? Either way, she was holding something back. But what?

“I was afraid. I was in denial. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Then I was embarrassed. I was overwhelmed with work. My team depends so much on me. If I fail, they’ll all lose their jobs, and I won’t do that to them.” She touched her fingertip to the corner of her eye. “One day of delay in calling you became a week. Then a month. Then four, five months went by and I’d convinced myself I could do all this on my own. What I learned is that I’m not a superwoman. And I feel so guilty for not telling you. I wanted you to know about him.”

Mica listened stoically to her explanation, but he was racked by betrayal. Jules was his son, and he felt justified for every spark of anger he felt toward Grace. How dare she keep this secret? And then show up here, unannounced, and shove a baby at him. On top of all that, she intended to leave Jules here for months and then come back and take him away. Probably as soon as Mica had bonded with him.

“You are out of your mind,” he said slowly. “I’m not going to agree to any of this.” He shot to his feet, and stepped around her as she sat stone-still in the chair, her hands still in her lap.

He could smell her perfume as he walked past. He kept her in his sights as he went to the refrigerator and took out a beer. “No baby bottles in here. See? Not prepared.”

Grace’s lips had tightened into a narrow line that showed her determination and did nothing to mar her beauty. Or his absurd desire to kiss her. He shook his head to dispel the thought.

“Mica. Please try to understand. I want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help, Grace.”

She crossed her arms. “Apparently, you do because you’re not even trying to cooperate. Jules is your son. I need to show you how to take care of him so you don’t hurt him!”

“Oh, like I would stick him under a car and let it fall on him?”

“Stop being ridiculous!”

“Me?”

Her eyes narrowed into slits. “You know what, Mica? Your self-absorption is blinding you. If you’d only spend a few moments with him, you’d see how wonderful he is.”

“That’s not the issue. This isn’t about Jules, and you know it. It’s about you. You want to pawn him off on me so you can go back to Paris and your fancy career!”

“My career is what will feed and clothe and educate Jules for the rest of his life. I don’t want him to lack anything in the future. I want him to have a wonderful life. I want him to know his father.” Her voice cracked with emotion.

For a moment, Mica almost lost it. It took every ounce of his inner strength not to go to her, pull her to his chest and comfort her. Maybe kiss away her fears. But he didn’t. He was taking a stand. He had to. If he didn’t and he fell for her, he would lose all over again because Grace would never live in Indian Lake on the farm with him.

Besides, she’d made her priorities clear. She had no room in her life for him or their baby.

Grace went to the door and reached for the knob. Her hand was shaking. Had he done that to her?

“I’m going to get Jules and feed him. You have my cell number.”

She left, her footsteps pounding on the stairs.

His eyes lost focus as he stared at the closed door. How could he be responsible for taking care of a helpless baby when he could barely take care of himself?

CHAPTER FOUR

GRACE FOUND GINA in the kitchen warming a bottle of formula in the microwave. Jules was sitting in an unfamiliar rocking baby seat on the kitchen counter. Sam was at the kitchen table going through Grace’s diaper bag.

“Found one,” Sam said, holding up a bib.

“Hi, honey,” Gina said, looking at Grace and then gesturing toward Jules. “I hope you don’t mind that we got him settled here. I have all sorts of baby equipment from when Liz got pregnant with Ezekiel. I can’t tell you how thrilled we are to have another grandbaby in the house,” she said, gushing. “Aren’t we, Sam?”

Okay. I’ve missed something, Grace thought as she looked from Gina’s beaming face to Sam, who was smiling far too brightly.

“We’re delighted.” Sam chuckled. “As far as I’m concerned, Zeke is grown up already. He’s over two now and talking up a storm.”

“I love babies. Adore them, really,” Gina said, taking the bottle from the microwave when it dinged. “That’s why I had four sons. And now, this little fella. It’s a miracle!”

Sam clucked his tongue. “Now, sweetie, don’t get carried away.”

Grace was sure her confusion showed on her face, but after sparring with Mica, she didn’t want to ruffle any more feathers.

“Oh, Sam,” Gina continued happily. “It’s just so wonderful to have a baby in the house.”

“Too bad Mica doesn’t feel that way,” Grace muttered.

“What are you talking about?” Gina asked, testing the temperature of the formula on her wrist. She picked up Jules and cradled him while he greedily went after the bottle.

Grace was surprised at how accepting Jules was of these strangers. He didn’t seem the least upset that Gina was holding him, nor did he flinch at the sound of Sam’s gravelly voice. “He doesn’t want anything to do with Jules,” she explained. “I’ve never seen him so angry.”

Sam swatted the air. “He’s not mad at you or the baby. He’s mad at us.”

“That’s right,” Gina said.

“Wait, what?” Grace stared at them. “Why would Mica be mad at you?”

Gina smiled softly at Sam. “We just got engaged. In fact, Mica...walked in on us in here right after I’d accepted Sam’s proposal. He wasn’t happy about that. He stormed out of here like we’d set him on fire. Then you drove up.”

“And hit him with my news.”

“Yes. Well, two life changes in a matter of moments would be hard for anyone, and he’s been going through a lot this past year.”

“He has, hasn’t he?”

“And I guess it’s even harder for him since he’s always been a loner. Living his life in his head. He has a lot of ideas about the machines he’d like to invent.”

“Has he invented anything?” Grace asked.

“Not that I know of. He’d have to patent them first and build a working model. He hasn’t done that kind of thing since college. And he spent so many years working the farm with his father and brothers. Then since the...”

“Accident?” Grace said, finishing for her.

“Yes,” Gina replied sadly, looking down at Jules. “Mica hasn’t done much of anything since then.” She sighed. “Jules is such a sweet baby. And handsome already. He has my eyes. All the boys do. Even Zeke.” Gina winked at Grace. “I’m very proud of that.”

“You should be,” Sam agreed.

Grace moved over to Gina and squeezed Jules’s foot. “Why would such happy news make Mica angry?”

“Jealousy,” Sam barked and went back to digging things out of the diaper bag.

“Oh, Sam. He’s just in shock is all. And then you told him you’ve loved me for over thirty years, that was double-shock. He’ll come around.”

“I’m not so sure,” Sam grumbled.

“This does explain a lot,” Grace said. “Not everything, but it helps. I can’t imagine him being mad at his own mother for long. He adores you, Gina. That much I know. But the rest of it is my fault. I didn’t tell him I was pregnant.”

Gina’s eyes held concern. “That is a situation. Why didn’t you?”

Because I’m not sure he cares about me. I’m terrified I was just a fling. “Shame. Denial. My career. A million and one things.”

“Excuses, you mean,” Gina said compassionately.

“Yes. Poor ones. I spent the first trimester basically in denial, and when I finally had to face the fact that I was going to have a baby, I had to make plans. I was in Paris. Mica was across an ocean. I didn’t want to mess up his life any more, considering how the accident affected him. I didn’t want him to feel responsible. And for a long time, I thought I could handle everything on my own.”

“Understandable,” Sam replied.

“Really?” Grace was surprised. Sam was the first person who had explicitly taken her side since this all began. So far, Mica was a write-off. Gina was withholding judgment, but Grace couldn’t expect her not to defend her son. And Grace’s team in Paris had been less than thrilled by the news. As her pregnancy progressed and she had to cut back on her hours in the studio, they reacted with hurt feelings and a sense of abandonment. That only intensified when she announced her trip to Indian Lake. They were as needy as children. But as much as they needed her, she needed them. They were her Paris family.

“Of course, dear,” Gina added, giving Grace another shock. “I can absolutely put myself in your shoes. You’re a long way from home. Coming back here to face Mica would take a lot of courage, not to mention the logistics.”

“Well, I say it’s time to move on,” Sam said.

“Sam’s right.” Gina took the bottle out of Jules’s mouth and put a clean dish towel over her shoulder before holding him against it and patting his back. Jules gave a huge burp and giggled. Gina nestled him back into the crook of her arm. “What an angelic face.”

“I think so, too,” Grace said. And every time I look at him I’m reminded of Mica. His father. The man I’ll always love.

Her phone pinged with a text.

I’m going into town. Don’t be here when I get back. Please.

They all heard the roar of the pickup as Mica spun the wheels on a patch of ice and backed down the drive.

Grace looked at Gina. “Mica’s really raw. And I’m just as upset. I should take Jules and go.” She reached for him but Gina turned away from her.

“Just a minute. Now, where are you staying? And when do I get to see this little guy again?”

“Gina...” Sam gave her a warning tone.

“Sorry,” Gina said. “But I just met him. I need details.”

“You have every right to know my plans. I’m staying with Mrs. Beabots. Her apartment is empty and Aunt Louise doesn’t have room for us. I’m here for nine days to acclimate Jules to Mica, and Mica to his son. Then I need to get back to Paris. I need to leave Jules with Mica for two, maybe three months until I can get my spring show under my belt. It’s a make-it-or-break-it situation. These months will determine the rest of my life!”

“Seems to me your son is determining your life,” Gina said.

Grace hung her head. “He is.” Then she met Gina’s eyes. “I don’t know how to explain this without coming off as selfish and self-centered, but I really do want the best for my boy.” Grace felt chills scamper down her spine and her eyes filled with tears. Ever since she’d left Indian Lake last time, waved goodbye to Mica, she’d been an emotional wreck. To be fair, she’d been pregnant most of that time. Still, these days, she cried at the drop of a hat. She told herself that it was hormones. Lack of sleep. But deep down, the truth was always there. It was all about Mica.

“And you honestly think you’re going to get Mica to care for Jules?”

“I was hoping he’d fall in love with him at first sight, but Mica is so closed off from us...now I wonder if it’s even possible.”

“Hmm. That is interesting, isn’t it?” Gina pondered as she handed Jules to Grace. “I think the best thing is to let Mica cool off, which he will, and then you need to put him through his basic training. He hasn’t the first clue about babies. As much as he loves Zeke, he had nothing to do with him when he was an infant. He likes him better now that he can talk.”

“So do I,” Sam joked.

“Oh, you!” Gina waved her palm at him. “Let’s get him bundled up. I’ll do what I can from this end to help you with Mica. Though right now, I’m about the last person Mica is going to listen to.”

“Yeah. I’m not sure either of us have much sway with him at the moment.”

Gina tapped her cheek with her finger. “Grace. Tomorrow, Sam and I are having a New Year’s Eve party and we’re going to announce our engagement. Please come and bring Jules. All your friends will be here and it will be a good time to show off Jules. Hopefully, when Mica sees everyone’s reaction to this little angel, his heart will soften.”

“Do you think so, Gina? After today, I’m wondering if that approach isn’t such a good idea.”

“He knows about the party. You’re my guest. He needs to face his responsibilities.”

Grace put Jules in his Bundleme as Sam replaced all her items in the diaper bag. Gina rinsed out the baby bottle and threw away the inner collapsible sack.

Grace said her goodbyes and accepted kisses from Gina and Sam...her son’s grandparents.

* * *

MICA HAD HOPED to avoid seeing Grace and the baby again by heading into town, but he hadn’t guessed Grace would stop at the Indian Lake Deli. Just his luck. And of course he’d been the one to tell her to leave the farm. Grace arrived twenty minutes after he put in his order and sat down.

When she walked in, he watched as people in line regarded her with awe. He’d been too overwhelmed earlier to notice her stylish, black wool coat, with its black faux-fur collar. She carried Jules in a baby carrier and had a black leather bag over her other shoulder. Everything about Grace was attention-getting.

But it was the way her blue eyes latched on to his from the moment she closed the door. Her smile was faint, but it was there, as if she was happy to see him.

He forced himself not to smile back, but nothing could harness the appreciation in his eyes.

She walked over to him. “Your mom was feeding Jules. Then I realized I hadn’t eaten all day.”

“My mom...”

“I’d left Jules’s bottles of formula in his diaper bag. Your mom and Sam got him sorted while we were...talking. All you do is heat it in the microwave. He likes it at forty seconds. Not too hot and not too cold.”

“Like Goldilocks.”

“Yeah.” She smiled. “It’s nice about the two of them.” Mica’s breath hitched in his chest. His mother and Sam were engaged. They’d been in love for decades. He wasn’t sure he’d ever come to terms with that. Yet Grace was immediately accepting of their relationship. Easy for her. It wasn’t her mother they were talking about. Grace’s mother was dead.

He felt a streak of guilt shoot down his spine. He should be grateful that his mother was still with him, but right now, all he felt was the bite of betrayal.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“They’re in love and should be together. Just because people get old, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t find companionship and someone to share their lives with.”

He leaned forward, his eyes blazing. “My mother was devoted to my father...”

“She was. But he died, Mica.”

“Stop talking, Grace,” he said lowly so as not to be heard by the others around them. “You don’t know anything about my family.”

“I know a lot about people,” she countered. “Apparently, more than you do.”

“Barzonni?” Julia Melton called. “Barzonni? You here?”

Mica turned. “We’re here.”

“Your order is up.”

Mica handed Julia cash and she rang up the sale. Mica was glad he had his back to Grace, so she wouldn’t see the confusion he knew was on his face. He’d just answered Julia in the plural, as if Grace and Jules were his family.

Mica was no family man. Or was he?

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