Remembering Red Thunder

Grasping the sheets on the side of the bed into fists, he forced his eyes to stay open until he saw nothing but the white ceiling. And as his breath slowed, as the beating of his heart moderated, he became aware of the anger roiling through him like Class VI rapids. All of his thoughts converged to one overwhelming desire—escape.

“You’re awake.”

The voice jolted him into hyperarousal, sending the pulse monitor at his side into another wild jangle of beeps. He dragged in a long draw of breath and looked at the man beside his bed. “Who the hell are you?”

He was tall and thin. His features were long and pointed and reminded Chance of an egret. A pink skull showed through the man’s close-cropped blond hair. He wore a beige uniform shirt with a gold star above the left pocket and held his hat before him with both hands in a way that struck Chance as a supplication.

“Tad Pruitt.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “Your deputy.”

Chance looked away, closed his eyes, then jerked them open when the red haze threatened him again.

Tad Pruitt. His deputy.

The name, the man, didn’t ring a bell. He almost laughed out loud. Nothing was real anymore. His brain seemed to have been wiped clean of everything except the snapshots of the muddy images running through his mind. His emotions seemed to be able to handle nothing more than the fear running rampant through his body or the anger stirring a fevered need for action.

He fixed his gaze on the acoustic tiles on the ceiling and started counting the holes. One. Two. Three. He was riding a thin line between two nightmares. Any minute now the thread would break and sling him straight into insanity. Four. Five. Six.

“I’ve got to ask you some questions, Chance.” Tad gave a rough attempt at a laugh. “Paperwork’s a bitch, but you’ll have my head if I don’t do it right.”

Chance. They kept calling him that, but the name fit about as well as a boot two sizes too small. He sure didn’t feel lucky—blistered and bloody was more like it. “The answer to all of them is ‘I don’t know.’”

“Why don’t we give it a try anyway?”

“Why don’t you go to hell?”

Tad cleared his throat. “Well, now, I wish I could, but while you’re down, I’ve got an obligation to the town to fulfill.”

“You’ve been here. You’ve seen me. Your obligation has been fulfilled. Now leave.”

“It’s not that easy, Chance. Sam Wentworth said he saw you coming down the ramp. Halfway down you accelerated and kept going until you hit the water. They found no mechanical reason for what happened.”

No, the dysfunction had been one of his own doing. He knew that on a level as primal as the fear running through his veins. One hundred seventy-one. One hundred seventy-two.

“That leaves two options, Chance. Did you mistake the accelerator for the brake?”

“I don’t know.”

The heels of Tad’s boots squeaked as he shifted his weight from left to right. “Is there some other reason you’d want to drive into that river?”

“I don’t know.” Three hundred and one. Three hundred and two. And that was just one corner of one tile. Counting all those holes on the ceiling would surely keep him too busy to think.

“You’re an expert diver, but Sam said you didn’t even try to get out of the car. You just sat there, staring at the sun while water was pouring in all around you.” Tad paused and Chance heard the sound of felt slipping round and round through fingers. The deputy was nervous. “What did you see?”

Blood. Death. Whose? Why? Were they even real? Five hundred and nine. Five hundred and ten. “I don’t know.”

“You were lucky your rear bumper caught the bank. If it hadn’t, the current would have swept you away. Sam got on the horn to RoAnn and got help.”

Chance didn’t feel particularly grateful for Sam’s Good Samaritan act or RoAnn’s efficiency at the moment. Whoever they were. Their good deeds had left him swimming in this hell of red and bloodshed and constant dread. Nine hundred and fifteen.

“Let me walk you through what happened right before you hit the water.”

“No.” He wasn’t going there. The best thing to do, he decided, was to walk away and never look back. Escape. He swallowed hard. The need itched through him strong. Damn! He’d lost count. One. Two. Three.

“You were on the highway heading toward the Brett ranch. After RoAnn gave you the call, you headed toward Gator Park.”

Tad paused and seemed to want the silence filled. Chance obliged to cover the quickening whoosh in his ears. “I don’t know.”

“Sam said you were there pretty quick after he called in the safe’s sighting. You climbed the exit ramp. Then what happened?”

“I don’t know.” Twenty-one. Twenty-two.

“Just close your eyes and put yourself back in the cruiser.”

“No!” Chance’s heart beat frantically in his chest. The monitor’s wild beeps only added to his feeling of being out of control. Like a fish out of water, he started struggling for breath. Fisting his hands around the edge of the mattress, he grappled for control. He wasn’t going to fall into that red haze. He wasn’t going to be carried away on this surge of panic. He wasn’t going to drown.

“You’re not even trying to figure this out,” Tad said.

“I told you. I don’t remember.” The monitor took another leap and a nurse came in. He saw a syringe in her hands and a fresh wave of terror swept through him. With the drugs, he would be helpless, a bit of debris tossed about with no control. The images would drown through him again.

“No drugs.” He grabbed at the IV line. “I’ll rip it right out. No drugs.”

“Your vitals are off the chart, Mr. Conover. This will help calm you down.”

Chance dragged in a long breath, then another. Sweat soaked him from head to toe. “I’m calm. The deputy irritated me, but he’s leaving now. I’m fine. No drugs.”

The nurse looked at Tad. “Maybe it would be best if you left.”

Hat still in hand, Tad nodded. “I’ll be back.” His boots squeaked to the slow rhythm of his departure.

“Now,” the nurse said as she reached for the IV, “why don’t you let me look at that line and make sure you haven’t knocked anything out of kilter?”

“Take it out,” he ordered.

The nurse clucked at him. “I can’t do that without a doctor’s order.”

“I’m leaving,” he said, and started to sit up.

She snorted her disagreement. “And where would you go? You don’t even know where you live.”

“But I do.”

They both turned at the gentle, yet insistent voice. The woman from last night stood in the doorway, one hand braced on the doorknob, the other holding a bag. He couldn’t recall her name, but something about her presence sang through him.

She was small, nothing outstanding. All of her features were soft, almost invisible against the pale walls. But her eyes stood out like beacons, warm and welcoming. They were wide, bluer than a summer sky, and had a hypnotic quality to them that kept his gaze riveted and had his throat going dry.

“Do you want to come home with me?” Her eyes were earnest. Her body was braced to handle whatever answer he gave her.

She’d cried for him. She’d said she loved him. She’d told him she wouldn’t let him forget. He’d wanted to hang on to that promise. But promises were brittle. They broke like branches on the river and left you drifting still holding on to the thing that had let you down.

Now she was offering him a way out, another scrap of hope.

“Yes.”

A whoosh escaped her. Then she went into action, striding past the nurse and standing between them.

“I’m signing him out now.” The straight posture of her body dared the nurse to walk through her. If he’d had to take odds, he’d have placed them on the small woman’s determination even given the nurse’s fifty-pound and five-inch advantage. Did he deserve that fierce loyalty?

“That’s against regulations. The doctor—”

“Said there was nothing physically wrong with Chance. There’s no reason to hold him.”

“Dr. Benton—”

“Isn’t the admitting physician.”

The woman glanced at him over her shoulder. Her blue eyes revealed a mixture of soul-stirring warmth and utter sadness. “He’s my husband. I’m taking him home where he belongs.”

He got his wish; he was getting out of this nightmarish place. But as the nurse slipped the IV needle out of his arm, he swallowed hard.

He would be leaving with a woman who was almost as disturbing as the images flashing through his mind.

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