Defying Desire
Taking another deep breath she inched her hand up his thigh, closer to his groin, and leaned into him. “Do you really want to leave me, Trent?”
He hesitated and for a moment she was afraid he was going to say yes. Instead his hand covered hers on his thigh. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
Tia broke eye contact because the longer he stared at her the guiltier she felt. She leaned closer kissing his neck. “I’m not drunk if that’s what you think.”
His hand tightened on hers but he didn’t push her away. That was a good sign.
“You’re not drunk but you’re definitely not yourself.”
God, he smelled good, strong and virile, if that had a scent. She inhaled deeply, then let her tongue slide along the line of his neck. “I’m tired of being myself,” she said.
And that was the God’s honest truth. Tia was so tired of being about business, of getting up every day, moving along as if she hadn’t a care in the world, when inside she was falling apart.
Trent said she felt good in his arms; well, it had felt good to be in his arms. Damn good. And she wanted to hold on to that feeling, at least for tonight. As if he’d read her mind he shifted, wrapping his free arm around her waist, pulling her closer.
“What do you want, Tia?” he asked in a voice that she was sure had grown hoarse.
Tia stopped kissing his neck. Her heart hammered against her chest. With the hand that had accompanied hers on his knee Trent grabbed her chin, tilting her head until he could once again look into her eyes.
“Tell me what you want from me. Because I’m not going to do anything that you aren’t completely on board with. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She did. He wanted her to be sure that she knew whom she was with and what she was doing with him.
Tia didn’t have a doubt in her mind.
She was with Trent Donovan. The man that had driven her crazy with lustful thoughts these past few months and scared her witless with his intensity. She wanted him to make love to her tonight, to wash away the painful memories and to satisfy her quaking need.
“I want you in my bed, tonight,” she said without further hesitation. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He stood then, picking her up so that her legs wrapped around his waist. His lips crashed down over hers, his tongue plundering hers with deep thrusts and smooth strokes. His hands cupped her bottom, gripping each mound with the promise of more to come. Tia instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her aching center into him, wanting more, needing it all.
She felt him move, turn in the opposite direction, but his hands were now pushing her dress up farther until he touched the bare flesh of her bottom, skimming the thin wisp of her thong. Her entire body shivered at the brief contact, she sighed and nipped his bottom lip.
“Which way?” he rasped.
Tia couldn’t speak but pointed toward the bedroom.
Trent’s mind roared with lustful thoughts of how he would take her, claim her, make her his for tonight. He’d thought of this often, each time changing their positions, their words. He wanted her with a desperation he’d never felt before and was more than excited at the notion that he was about to have her. Finally.
She’d unwrapped those sinfully long legs from around him the minute they were in her bedroom. Pushing the straps of her dress down she’d stood still as it fell to the floor. His mouth had literally gone dry at the sight of her in nothing but a black thong, garter belt, silk stockings and heels. The dark color only highlighted her light complexion. The sight of her stroked Trent’s skin like a whisper over his rigid sex.
“Come here,” he commanded and waited while she walked toward him.
Taking both her beautiful breasts in his hands he squeezed and closed his eyes. How many times had he imagined this? The weight of each globe, the texture of each extended nipple grazing his palms. He bent forward massaging each breast until the nipples puckered between his fingers, then licked them one after the other. She grabbed the back of his head, holding him in place and Trent’s senses blurred.
If there was one thing he loved, it was a woman who knew what pleased her. Obviously having her breasts licked pleased Tia. So he continued until she was practically begging him for more.
He moved away from her because control was another one of his pet peeves. She’d told him what she wanted and he had every intention of giving it to her, but on his terms.
He’d removed his suit jacket in the truck so his fingers went instantly to the buttons of his shirt. When she reached out to help him, he pushed her hands away. “No.”
She’d tilted her head as if she were going to question him, then instead moved her hands over her stomach, up, until she was cupping each breast similarly to how he’d just done.
Trent was so hard at the sight of her touching herself that he had to clench his teeth to keep from yelling out. Methodically he undressed in front of her watching her fingers move over her pretty nipples.
Before tossing his pants Trent removed his wallet, retrieving two condoms. With protection in hand he reached for Tia and was momentarily startled when she moved away. Looking at her in question he watched as she went around to the other side of the bed, sat and attempted to take off her shoes.
“No,” he said quickly. “Leave them on.”
Trent was on the bed now, dropping the condoms near one pillow and grabbing Tia around the waist pulling her to the center of the mattress.
The look she gave him was defiant and sexy as hell. Was there anything about this woman that didn’t turn him on?
She laced her fingers around the back of his head, then pulled him down for a kiss that had his sex jutting forward, leaking with prepleasure.
He’d planned to go slow, to seduce her, to leave his mark. But as her tongue moved inside his mouth that plan was quickly tossed out. Trent reached for one of the condoms, pulled his mouth away from hers long enough to rip it open with his teeth then was about to sheath himself when she took it out of his hand.
“Let me,” she said in a voice so sultry Trent swore he was going to have his release at that very moment.
The voice had only been a preamble to the torture. When she grabbed his length between her hands he’d sucked in a breath. She’d looked up at him with those startling alert eyes and had the audacity to smile as she stretched the latex over him.
Her fingers lingered as she licked her lips and Trent had to resist guiding her to pleasure him. Instead he gently pushed her back so that she was resting against the pillows. He lifted her legs up onto his shoulders, positioned himself between her thighs and said, “Hold on.”
Chapter 5
Tia did just that, grasping handfuls of the comforter between her fingers as Trent sank his length deeper and deeper inside of her.
Her eyes closed even though she’d wanted to watch him. If she could keep her focus on Trent, on the here and now, the past couldn’t hurt her. But as her lids fluttered and finally closed Tia realized the past wasn’t hurting her. Sure, her heart was heavy with the weight of what she’d lost two years ago. But her body was also filled with what she had right now.
And what she had was two hundred–plus pounds of gorgeously muscled, virile man who knew just the way to touch her, kiss her, stroke her. Tilting her head back against the pillows she felt her own teeth sinking into her bottom lip as Trent settled himself snugly inside of her.
“Look at me,” he commanded.
Her eyes flew open to find his face only inches from hers, his dark eyes boring into her.
“It’s just you and me, Tia. Tonight. Just you and me.”
His voice was stern and Tia nodded her head, acknowledging what he was saying to her even as he pulled out of her, sinking blissfully back into her heat.
Trent didn’t know what was going on in her mind but he’d be damned if she would think of anyone or anything else besides him tonight. If he had to use every ounce of sexual expertise he possessed he would make certain of that.
Leaning forward he kissed the corner of her lip she’d been biting down on, stroking his tongue over the plumped section before sucking it gently into his mouth. She moaned and he circled his hips, pressing her farther into the mattress. Her thighs tightened and clasped around his waist. He was trapped inside of her, not that he was complaining. His mouth was locked with hers, their tongues mating the same way as their sex.
That’s when he felt it. The first inkling of something different. Yes, this was Tia St. Claire he was making love to. And, yes, he’d already adjusted his mind to the fact that for some odd reason she was different from the other women he’d known. But this feeling, circling and swirling in his chest as he moved over her wasn’t explainable. And what Trent couldn’t explain he either ignored or pounded until his understanding was clear.
At this moment he didn’t feel like doing, either.
Instead he tore his mouth away from hers, then reached behind to uncurl her legs. Hooking the backs of each of her knees in the crook of his arms, he lifted them higher, until only the upper half of her body was on the bed. With quick thrusts he moved inside of her watching the sensual play of emotions on her face.
She was gorgeous, her small braids spread across the pillow like a golden halo. Her eyes were half closed, but the hazel orbs shone brightly with desire. Her lips were parted as she panted, lifting her hips to match his rhythm. As lovers went, Tia was scoring more than average marks with him. She matched his intensity and desire every step of the way, challenging him with a look, a shift of her hips, a touch of her hands.
Dammit, that feeling in his chest seemed to magnify with this position. He stopped mid-stroke, closing his eyes in an attempt to get his thoughts together.
And she reacted.
Lifting up from the bed she managed to slip her legs out of his grip so that she was sitting and he was kneeling. Her hands flattened on his chest and she applied pressure as if to tell him to lay down. Trent’s eyes opened, finding hers glaring at him in challenge.
“My turn,” she said before stroking her tongue over his lips.
Every sane thought ran directly to his erection, making it harder, more determined than ever to find its release. He was lying back now, without a word, smiling up at her as she situated herself above him. Her long legs held her steady as she gripped his sex leading him to her waiting cove. She lowered herself ever so slowly, taking in one excruciating inch at a time. Her braids cascaded over her shoulders in a sexy curtain. Trent lifted his hands grasping handfuls of her hair pushing it back from her face.
Her features were concentrated as she lowered farther and when their bodies touched and he was completely impaled in her she looked at him. “Ready?” she asked.
Trent shifted his hips, settling himself, then grinned. “Ready and waiting. Show me what you’ve got.”
And that she did. With what seemed to be choreographed movements she rotated her hips, lifted slightly upward, then came down over him repeatedly. Trent’s mind had gone blank several times as his fingers gripped her hips. With her head thrown back, her breasts jutting forward and moans slipping from her lips Tia rode him like a woman possessed.
Or a woman trying desperately to lose herself in the moment.
Trent continued to watch her, taking her movements and matching them with his own. When she stiffened above him he lifted up from the bed, driving his sex deeper into her while wrapping his arms securely around her back. When her release came she went limp in his arms, her forehead falling forward to rest on his shoulder.
Continuing to work himself inside of her, Trent found his own explosive relief and groaned as her fingernails pressed into the skin of his shoulders. They sat there a moment, both of them trying to catch their breath. Then she shifted, trying to get free of his grasp but he held firm.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” she said in a slightly irritated voice that just about shattered any thoughts of intimacy.
Trent released her because, after all, he wasn’t the cuddling sort of guy. The room grew instantly chilly as she slipped away from him and walked unashamedly naked across the floor to the bathroom. With a sigh Trent lay back on the bed wondering what the hell had just happened.
They’d had sex, that part he knew, and felt, as his breathing was just getting back to normal. But he was no fool. In fact, he was smarter than most people gave him credit for. Still, he admitted that it wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to know that something wasn’t totally right about what had just happened.
When Tia came back into the room Trent had already pulled the comforter and sheets down. He stood as she approached the bed, put her hair up and slipped on a nightgown, lifting her feet as she sat on the end, then he tucked her in, but that didn’t matter. He’d seen her gorgeous body naked. Now, no matter what she wore, he’d always have that picture emblazoned in his mind, just the way he liked it.
He was about to move away when she grabbed his wrist. “Are you leaving?” she asked.
Trent couldn’t help but frown. This woman was a bundle of contradictions. One minute she was feisty and telling him to get lost, the next she was cuddling in his arms and feeling on him seductively. She’d moaned and just about broke the skin on his back when she came then bit his head off when he tried to hold on to her afterwards. What the hell was up with that?
“I’m going to the bathroom,” he said when he should have told her yes he was leaving because he was getting tired of the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde act.
But as he moved into the bathroom Trent had a sinking suspicion that Tia had needed him tonight. Not “him” specifically but someone. She didn’t want to be alone—of that he was certain—and he wasn’t complaining about being the one to end up in bed with her.
Still he wondered as he wiped the warm washcloth over his face and down his chest, what was really going on with her.
Tia stepped onto the treadmill the next morning with one goal in mind: walk until her mind was completely clear. Of the anniversary. Of Jake and Jessica. And definitely of Trent Donovan.
When she’d left her apartment well before the crack of dawn this morning he’d been still asleep in her bed. He’d stayed with her all night, cradling her in his arms as if she were the most important thing in the world to him.
Which she knew was an out-and-out lie.
Trent Donovan didn’t give a rat’s ass about her. He’d wanted to sleep with her for months now and she’d given him that chance. In fact, he’d done her just as much of a favor by staying. She hadn’t wanted to be alone and if she’d had to choose a way to spend that most horrible night, she wasn’t about to complain about it being in Trent’s arms.
So she swiped at the sweat already beginning to bead on her forehead, pressed the button and walked a little faster. She had been in such a hurry to get out of her apartment without waking Trent that she’d forgotten her iPod so she had nothing else to occupy her mind. Not that music would have helped.
It was the morning after and instead of being curled up in her bed sobbing or even curled up in her bed with the mesmerizing Trent Donovan, she was here at the gym. She was losing her mind, that’s exactly what she was doing. Any other woman would be back at her apartment probably gearing up for another round of the most spine-tingling sex she’d ever experienced. But, no, not Tia.
It wasn’t worth it. He’d been there when she needed him and that was that. For all she cared Trent Donovan could move on to his next victim and she wouldn’t bat an eyelid.
From her bag on the floor Tia’s cell phone chirped. She did a running jump and leapt from the treadmill, almost tripping over the bag as she dug her hand inside to find the phone. Looking at the display, she rolled her eyes when she recognized the number.
“Hi, Camille,” she said as cheerfully and out of breath as possible. So much for not being pressed about Trent Donovan, she thought acknowledging her own disappointment that it wasn’t him calling.
“Thank God,” Camille sighed on the other end. “Where are you? I was so worried when you disappeared from the party last night. When you didn’t answer your home phone the ten times I called first thing this morning I began to panic.”
With one hand Tia reached into her bag for her towel. Wiping her forehead she cradled the cell phone between her ear and her shoulder. “Sorry. I should have told you I was leaving.” And I probably would have if your soon-to-be brother-in-law hadn’t carried me out the back door. As if he were rescuing her, Tia thought whimsically. Get real, she was not Camille and fairy tales were not on her agenda.
“What’s up? I didn’t have a shoot today, did I?” Tia was very professional, she kept an accurate schedule and regarded her date book like the Holy Bible.
“No. Nothing work related. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and to ask if you’d like to have lunch.”
“Ah, actually, I’ve got some errands to run today, Camille. So I’m going to have to pass.”
“Okay, well, if you change your mind just give me a call on my cell or come on over to the Donovan family estate around one. You remember where that is, right?”
Tia closed her eyes. Camille was just too nice to curse out. She wanted to be alone today, not at some family function for a family that didn’t belong to her. “Yes, I remember where it is.” They’d done a shoot at the swimming pool there a few weeks ago because Camille thought the intricate shape of the pool—it was shaped like the African continent and painted at the bottom to resemble the tribe that Henry Donovan descended from—would be a lovely backdrop for her Afrocentric collection. “But I really don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”
“That’s fine. But, Tia, I hope you’re not spending the day alone. You spend far too much time by yourself. You need to get out more.”
That wasn’t what Tia needed but she couldn’t very well tell Camille that. “I like being by myself,” she said instead.
Camille was quiet for a moment. “That used to work for me, too.”
Tia knew this was where the conversation would shift. Camille would go into how rough a time she’d had it when she was young and with her low self-esteem, thinking that Tia could relate to her. Which she could not since Tia never had self-esteem issues. What she had was a hardened resolve to never be hurt on the level she once was. The loss of a mate was one thing, but the loss of a child at the same time was something completely different.
Just the thought was sometimes unbearable for her. Her grief had festered, she knew. It was unhealthy as the psychiatrist she’d seen immediately after the accident had advised. But Tia didn’t give a damn. She’d developed a way to cope and that’s what she was doing. All work and no attachments. And she didn’t need her employer telling her any differently.
“Listen, Camille, I was in the middle of my workout. Thanks for checking up on me but I’m fine. I’ll talk to you on Monday,” she said, then disconnected before Camille could say another word. Because Tia was close to breaking down. If Camille had said another word about being alone Tia didn’t know that she could hold it in.
Being alone used to work for her, that’s what Camille had said. Well, it had worked just fine for Tia for almost two years. But if truth were told, these last two months had been different. Harder, it seemed, because there was a longing inside of her that did not want to be ignored. A longing that Tia feared would be her ultimate demise.
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