What the Heart Knows

“That had to be hard.”

“Yes.” Jared took another sip of his coffee, cupping the mug to mask the quivering in his hands. “I’ve seen what alcohol can do to a person, medically speaking. In some ways I wished I had remained ignorant of her problem.”

“Ignorance is bliss?”

He placed his mug on the mat, this time being careful and said in a tightly controlled voice, “She wouldn’t let me help her. There were times my frustration level was unbearable. It’s hard watching someone self-destruct.”

Kathleen slid her hand across the cool glass and covered his. “How did you handle the stress?”

“I worked harder and longer at building my practice. By that time we had moved to Crystal Springs. And when I wasn’t working, I threw myself into the activities at the church we attended. If I hadn’t, I don’t know how I would have made it, especially when Alice became pregnant with Terry unexpectedly. I didn’t want any more children. I had seen the effects of alcohol on unborn babies.”

Kathleen squeezed his hand, her heart swelling. “Terry seems fine.”

“He is.” Jared blew out a long breath. “Thankfully Alice agreed to go into rehab while she was pregnant. Everything seemed fine for a while, but a few months after Terry was born, she started drinking again and was killed in a drunk driving accident.”

Tears stung Kathleen’s eyes, a lump lodged in her throat. “I’m sorry.”

Jared blinked, slipping his hand from hers. He straightened, a flush to his face. “I didn’t mean to tell you that. It’s not something I like to relive.”

“Maybe you should. It’s important to work through our feelings in order to get beyond them.”

“That life is behind me.”

The look of doubt in his eyes belied the force of his words. “Is it?”

He held her gaze for a few seconds, then glanced away. “Yes. Living through it once was enough.” He rose in one fluid motion. “I’d better be going. Tomorrow will be a long day.”

Kathleen walked Jared to the door and watched him descend the steps out front. The droop to his shoulders attested to his weariness. The tight grin he gave her as he waved good-bye emphasized he wasn’t over what he had gone through with his wife. He might think it was behind him, but Kathleen knew it wasn’t.

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