All He Needs

Six o’clock, Renee texted. It didn’t take long for them to work out the details. Dana loved New York and said she’d come in from Connecticut and meet Renee at Grand Central Terminal.

She spent the afternoon catching up on email, then met Dana’s train at the station. Taking a taxi, they got out of the tourist district and went to an Italian restaurant Renee was familiar with.

Dana smiled. “What’s up?” She popped a fork full of lettuce into her mouth. They usually ordered salads and wine when they had these talks. But tonight Renee had ordered fettuccine Alfredo and a sangria.

“Not much,” Renee said. “We haven’t talked in a while. I thought it was time.”

The two had grown up together and were closer than sisters. Renee had a twin brother, and she loved him, but there were things that only another woman would understand.

“So,” Dana dragged the word out. A conspiratorial smile curled her lips. “Did you see Carter?”

Just like Dana to cut right to the heart. “You know, every time I come to New York you ask me that same question.”

“And you evade it.” Dana took another bite from her salad.

“I’m not here to see him.”

“That wasn’t my question,” Dana said.

“He wasn’t at the wedding.”

“Again, not my question. Which means you saw him.”

“Dinner, last night.”

“Dinner! Do tell. Give me the details.”

“No details. Well, one. He offered me a job.”

“Back at Hampshire Publications?”

Renee heard the wonder in her cousin’s voice. She took a moment to eat part of her fettuccine before nodding.

“What did you tell him?”

“That I was happy where I was.”

“Are you?”

“Dana,” Renee admonished.

Dana smiled slowly. “How does he look?”

“Good enough to eat.”

“Well?” Dana prompted.

Renee said nothing.

Dana poked her bottom lip out like a child who wasn’t getting her way.

“You can’t want me to get involved with him again. After how he broke up with me. And what a basket case I was then.”

Dana’s face became very serious. Renee wondered if she was remembering her fiancé. He was a Marine who died in an explosion in the Middle East. Since then Dana had been alone, but she loved setting up her friends.

Dana leaned forward and said, “You wouldn’t be getting involved again. Because you’ve never gotten over him.”

“That’s no reason to put myself in harm’s way. I’ve survived the last three years. I can get through the rest.”

“But what about when you move back to New York? You’ll be in the same city and in the same profession. It’s inevitable that you’ll run into each other.”

“So, we’ll run into each other sometimes.” Renee thought it couldn’t be any worse than the meeting last night. Then she’d been ambushed. Next time she’d be prepared for his possible appearance, even expecting it.

“You can handle that?”

“Sure I can.” Renee’s voice was strong, but she wasn’t that sure of herself. She’d been tested last night, and she’d survived. It had to get easier as time went by. But even though it had been three years, her heart had jumped into her throat when she’d seen him.

She would have to weather whatever came.

“I’ll be fine,” Renee told Dana. “Besides, in the next few months, I’ll be too busy to think of anyone. Getting a new venture off the ground is a day-and-night proposition.” Renee hadn’t mentioned it to Diana and Teddy, but she wanted to launch in six months.

Dana gave her a long look, then dropped her eyes. “What’s happening with the new magazine?”

Her cousin had been the first person Renee had called when the project had been approved.

“Oh, good progress. And I found a place to live.”

“Where?”

“It’s a house. Not an apartment. And it’s in the museum district.”

“How’d you do that?” Dana’s brows rose.

“Remember my Aunt Olivia?” Renee asked.

“Vaguely.”

“She lives in the museum district.”

“You’re going to live with her?” Dana frowned.

Renee didn’t answer immediately. She knew Dana was trying to determine Aunt Olivia’s age. She was a spry eighty-three-year-old.

“You were never a favorite of hers, if I’m remembering correctly,” Dana added.

Renee smiled. “She mellowed after I started working at Hampshire. I used to visit her often.”

“And now you’re moving in with her?” Dana’s voice showed incredulity.

“Not exactly,” Renee responded.

“Okay, stop dancing around and explain it to me.”

“I called her a few weeks ago and she invited me to lunch. During the afternoon she told me she was leaving the city. She’d put the house up for sale but had no offers.”

“Where’s she going?”

“She’s got a brother in North Carolina. She’s going there to be near him.”

“Doesn’t she have children? I mean eighty-three is a hard age to pick up and move.”

Renee shook her head. “She had a son. He was killed in Vietnam.”

“So she’s selling you the house?”

She’s letting me rent it with an option to buy.”

“That was lucky.”

Renee nodded. “There are some legal papers I have to sign tomorrow.”

Renee’s cell phone rang and the photo of the caller appeared. Renee stared at it.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

Renee said nothing. The ringing continued, causing a high-pitched whine in her ears. A sound she hadn’t heard in years. It couldn’t be coming from the phone, but pinging back and forth inside her brain.

“Renee, are you all right?” Dana asked. “Who’s on the phone?”

Renee lifted the small device and held it up. Dana drew in a mouthful of air.

Carter’s photo stared back at her.

Renee hit Reject to stop the ringing. It rang three more times before she and Dana left the restaurant and returned to the town house.

As they stepped in the door, the ringing began again.

“You’re going to have to answer it sometime. Obviously, the man is persistent,” Dana said. “And it could be something important.”

A hundred thoughts flashed through Renee’s mind, but she couldn’t pin any of them down. Why was he calling still? Why hadn’t she deleted his photo from her cell phone? She hadn’t seen it in three years, hadn’t thought of it. It just stayed there, like some specter waiting for the perfect time to strike.

Renee pulled her phone out of her purse. She didn’t hear Dana leave the room, but as she inspected the phone, Renee noticed she was alone. The phone continued its insistent ring. Renee continued to stare at it. Her finger hovered above the reject button. Then she quickly pushed Accept. She wouldn’t let him intimidate her any longer.

“Carter,” she said, using her happiest smile, one she did not feel.

“You deliberately deceived me about where you were staying,” he began without a hello.

“I did,” she admitted. She heard him swallow. He obviously wasn’t expecting her to admit the truth.

“Why?”

“It’s a privacy thing. I didn’t want to be disturbed.”

“I disturb you?”

She saw the shadow of a smile on his lips.

“Not in the way you’re thinking,” Renee told him. “And you canceled our meeting today. So we’re even.”

“I had to cancel the meeting. My father is in the hospital. I had to come out to the Hamptons.”

“Oh,” she said. “I’m sorry. Is he going to be all right?”

“They’re still doing some tests, but you know my dad. He’s a powerhouse. And he’s not as bad as my mother made me believe.”

Renee knew Joseph and Emily Hampshire—Joseph had run the magazine empire for years. He was a fair man and loved by his employees. She liked him a lot. His wife, Emily, was a fashion designer, and she could be excitable. Having a sick husband qualified as a good reason.

“Please let him know he’s in my thoughts,” Renee said.

“He’ll like that. He always liked you,” Carter said. “When I get back, I want to reschedule our meeting.”

“Carter, we had a chance three years ago. You chose to end it. I’ve moved on with my life, and I suggest you do the same.”

“I didn’t call you to rekindle a love affair.”

Renee took a deep breath. She felt a knife slip into her heart. They hadn’t had an affair, and the love had only been on her side. “Then why are you calling?”

“We talked about a position at Hampshire last night. You were supposed to give me an answer tonight.”

“I respectfully decline,” she said.

“Respectfully?” he questioned. “Are we going to be that formal?”

“It’s considered good manners to be formal with people you’ve just met. Remember, we are strangers.”

“Oh, right. We’re strangers. So, if we are strangers, then why don’t we act like we just met and we can discuss my offer like adults?”

“We’ve already discussed it, and I’m happy with my current position.”

“I hear you have a house.”

Renee gulped. How could he know that? She hadn’t even told Blair.

“I guess that means you’re moving back to the city permanently.”

Did she hear hope in his voice? Did she want to hear it? Renee mentally shook herself. Carter didn’t want her, only her expertise in the bridal industry.

“I’ll be working and living here. But, like I said, I’m keeping the position I have. And how did you know?”

“So, you’re not leaving town as you said.”

“No,” she answered. And you didn’t tell me how you knew.”

“My mother told me.”

“Your mother?” Renee frowned.

He nodded. “My mother designs for Lealia Sauvageau. She and her husband own the house next to the one you bought.”

“I recognize Lealia Sauvageau’s name,” Renee said. “What does she got to do with this?”

“She’d ordered a gown from my mother and would no longer need it since she and her husband have sold their house and are moving. In the course of conversation, Lealia told my mom that the house next to them was being rented by a bridal magazine owner.”

“And you naturally thought I was the only owner of a bridal magazine in town?”

“Naturally,” he replied. “Especially since you’re the only one coming from Princeton.”

Renee closed her eyes.

“Small world,” she said flatly.

“Isn’t it? Lealia thought she was helping my mom by giving her a lead for another place to showcase her designs.”

“I see.”

“Anyway, now that you’re going to be here, we can have that dinner tomorrow night. It’ll be a small celebration, marking your return to New York.”

“Carter, I’m very busy and we’ve already met for lunch once. We don’t need to prolong this...” She didn’t know what to call it. It wasn’t friendship.

“You’re not afraid of being across a table from me, are you?” he interrupted.

She laughed. “You’re not going to play the fear card. You know I have no fear where you’re concerned. But I decide who I want to eat with and that has nothing to do with you laying down a challenge.”

“So the answer is...”

Renee weighed the invitation for a long time. She saw Dana in the doorway gesturing for her to accept. Dana could only hear one side of the conversation, but she could tell Carter had asked to see Renee. Renee knew it was best to stay away from him, but if she was going to live in New York and inevitably run into him, she would have to become comfortable in his presence.

“Fine,” she said. “Dinner tomorrow.”

“You’re not going to stand me up, are you?”

“I keep my word,” she said.

“Where are you staying?” he asked.

Renee was not about to give him the address. She knew he often showed up early for a date, and then they wouldn’t make it out.

“You discovered I’m renting a house, yet you don’t know where I’m staying.” She paused, then said, “I’ll meet you at the Rainbow Room at seven.”

She heard his sigh through the phone. “Rainbow Room it is.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Good night, Renee.”

She clicked the end button without saying anything. The tone of his voice with those three words had taken away her power of speech. Did he know he was doing that? Was it on purpose, designed to throw her off guard? She’d heard those words in the dark, after a fervent night of lovemaking. They’d wrapped around her, folded her in a blanket of warmth, the way his arms had. She’d voluntarily gone there, taken his hand and run with him into an unknown place that held the promise of forever.

Renee had never wanted to leave it. She’d wanted to see the next bend, open the next door and find what surprises awaited her. She’d wanted to jump from cloud to cloud and go with the man of her dreams.

In his arms, she had been blinded. She’d forgotten that dreams have the permanence of smoke. And it had blown up in her face. The relationship had hardly begun before the burning between them had been doused, leaving only smoke and cinders. It had taken her a while to get herself under control, to not open her eyes in the morning and find herself thinking of him. But she was at that point now. And there was no way she was allowing him back into her heart.

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