The Other Wife

Chapter 3

Jane

It was so quiet when I woke up. At home, it was never quiet. There were always people running around, dogs barking, and children laughing. And seagulls, because we all lived near the beach. But in this new place, it was very, very quiet. I guess that was because there was only me and Mrs Reed and my two cousins. That’s not many people for such a big house.

I got out of bed and put my clothes on. My tummy rumbled as I did, so I left my tiny room with its pretty pink bedspread, and went in search of breakfast. I hoped the Reeds had cereal and milk.

I found the milk in the fridge, and put it on the bench. I started opening cupboards and found a bowl, but there was no food. I looked up at the cupboards above my head. I would need a chair to stand on. I found chairs around a big polished wooden table in another room and dragged one into the kitchen.

I took a deep breath then I climbed on the chair. I kept one hand on the back of the chair, and quickly grabbed the cupboard handle until the room stopped swirling around me. I didn’t like high places. Mum always kept the cereal in the low cupboards so I didn’t have to stand on chairs. I hoped Mrs Reed would do the same if I asked her. But until then, I told myself, I really could do this. And besides, I was hungry.

When I felt better and opened the cupboard nearest to me, there were biscuits. Lots and lots of biscuits. Biscuits were much better than cereal and milk. I dropped two packets of chocolate biscuits onto the bench and then climbed down off the chair. I was eating my second biscuit when I heard a familiar noise from outside.

There were seagulls here in the city too. That was exciting. I hadn’t expected to see any birds or animals at all.

I grabbed a couple more biscuits and ran out of the kitchen into the big living room. The seagulls must be out there, through the big glass doors where I could see the sky. It took me a couple of tries to get the door open, but finally the latch clicked and I jumped through the door.

The sky was right in front of me. There were no people, or trees, or cars, or even buildings to break up the big blue open sky. I glanced down and my tummy twisted. I was looking down onto the tops of the buildings across the street and then below that the road was a tiny slither of grey a million miles below me.

I was going to fall. I was going to fall until I was as small as the people in the miniature cars beneath me. The ground was so far away, and the sky was spinning around and around me. I grabbed at the nearest thing I could reach. A little basketwork chair. But that didn’t help, the chair fell too and I dropped onto the hard tile floor with the chair on top of me.

All I wanted to do was crawl back through the big glass doors to a place where I was safe from falling. The chair was light. I should have been able to lift it off myself quite easily, but it wouldn’t budge. Something, someone, was holding it down. I wriggled as much as I could and caught a glimpse of a pair of feet; feet that were still safely on the soft carpet.

‘Help me up.’

The feet didn’t move. There was the sound of laughter.

‘Please…’ I pushed against the chair.

‘What is going on here?’ At last someone lifted the chair out of the way. A rough hand grabbed me by the arm and hauled me to my feet. I darted back into the room where it was safe, backing away from the open door, trying very hard not to cry.

My cousin John was standing just inside the door. He was smiling, not a friendly smile, but a nasty, tight smile. It was the sort of smile I had never seen before. Nobody at home smiled like that.

‘What on earth were you doing out there at this hour of the morning? Come on, girl. Stop your snivelling.’ Mrs Reed towered over me, and, try as I might, I could not stop sobbing. My whole body was shaking with fear.

‘What’s that in your hand?’ Mrs Reed grabbed my closed hand and slowly prised the fingers opened to reveal the broken biscuit still tightly clutched inside.

‘Have you been stealing food?’

‘Stealing? No! I don’t steal.’ My sobs stopped.

‘This …’ Mrs Reed slapped my hand and broken bits of biscuit fell onto the soft clean carpet. ‘You took this from the cupboard, didn’t you?’

I nodded. Of course I took it from the cupboard. That’s what we always did at home. It wasn’t stealing. You took what you needed and everybody shared. ‘I was hungry…’

‘Hungry? Selfish child. You can’t just take food when you want too. Stealing is a sin. And today is Sunday. We go to church on Sundays and we don’t eat anything before we go to church. You will be praying for God’s forgiveness. You wicked, ungrateful girl.’

‘I’m not wicked!’

The slap was as sudden as it was painful. I staggered backwards, clutching my stinging cheek. My eyes filled with tears all over again. No-one had ever hit me before, not even my mother.

‘We will not mention this incident again. Go to your room and get ready for church.’

I went to my room.

In the mirror in my room I could see that my right cheek was red where Mrs Reed had slapped me. I had to get ready for church. I’d never been to church before. I wasn’t really sure what church was, but I decided to put on the best dress I’d brought with me. Maybe then Mrs Reed would see that I was trying to be good. I turned to get it and saw that John Reed was standing in my open doorway, with that same smile on his face again. He was eating a chocolate biscuit.

Chapter 4

Betty

Betty sat quietly next to Daddy in the cold office. The chair had scratchy material on it and she wriggled in her seat to try to pull her dress down to cover her legs. The grown-ups were talking in low, quiet voices.

‘So it will only be for a few weeks. Less than that probably. Her mother…’ Daddy turned his head and smiled at Betty. ‘She can’t look after her just at the moment, but when she’s back everything will be all right again.’

The man opposite Daddy on the other side of the big desk nodded curtly. Betty swung her legs while the two men filled in forms and signed papers. Then Daddy lifted her up out of the seat. ‘So you’re going to have a lovely holiday here with lots of other children. And me and Mummy will come back and get you really soon.’

Betty’s bottom lip started to quiver. ‘Do I have to go? I want to stay with you.’

‘Really, really soon. I promise, little firefly. All right?’

Daddy’s eyes looked like he was about to cry. Betty rested her head on his shoulder. ‘It’s OK, Daddy.’

He took a deep breath and smiled as he set her down on the ground. ‘That’s right. You need to be very brave for me and remember that everything’s OK. I love you, but while Mummy is away, I can’t keep you with me. As soon as Mummy comes home, I’ll come back. I promise.’

The stranger ushered Daddy out of the office and Betty was alone.

A few minutes later, a lady came into the room and picked up Betty’s little case. ‘Come on.’

She followed the lady along long white corridors and into a big bedroom with lots of beds in it. The lady popped her case on one of them. ‘You’ll be here. You can put your things in here.’ She pointed at a cupboard next to the bed. ‘Quickly now. Chop-chop!’

She flicked the case open and started lifting Betty’s things into the cupboard. Betty watched. It seemed silly. She’d just have to put them all back in her case very soon when Daddy came back.

Betty couldn’t count how many days and nights she was in the home. She slept in a big room with other children. Little ones, like Betty, at one end, and bigger girls further down. She didn’t like having so many people sleeping in the same room. Some of the girls cried at night, and that made Betty want to cry too. During the day they did chores, and the bigger girls did reading. Whatever she was doing, Betty waited. She waited for Mummy and Daddy to come back and take her home. So when one of the ladies who usually looked after the little babies, came and told her to bring her coat and hat, and her little suitcase with her pyjamas and hairbrush, she thought it was time.

She climbed into the back of the car waiting outside and was surprised to find two boys, both a couple of years older than her, already sitting there. The lady sat in the front with the driver, who was the man from the office from the very first day. He looked over into the back seat and frowned when he saw Betty.

‘What’s she doing here? We’re only supposed to send white children.’

‘She’s white enough.’

‘She’s half-breed. You saw her father.’

‘I did. But they won’t. And if you didn’t know, you’d think she was white, wouldn’t you?’

The driver turned around and stared directly at Betty. ‘She’s got that hair.’

‘Well, stick it under her hat when we get there and tell her not to say anything.’

Betty patted her hair. It had tight little curls like Daddy’s but in the sunshine it looked ginger like Mummy’s. Daddy said it was special. Daddy said her hair shone like a beautiful flame.

Betty felt her stomach flip. ‘Where are we going?’

‘On an adventure.’

‘Will my mummy and daddy be there?’

The woman twisted in her seat to look at Betty. ‘Your mummy and daddy are gone. We’re sending you somewhere that you’re wanted. You’ll have a far better home than with … him. Now be quiet.’ Betty did as she was told. She stared out of the window trying to remember the places they were driving past so she could find her way back, but they drove for too long and eventually it got dark. Betty’s eyes fell closed.

When she opened them again, the car had stopped. Rain was lashing down, which meant nobody thought it was odd that the woman rammed Betty’s hat onto her head and tucked her hair away inside. ‘Come on now.’

Betty was dragged along by the woman’s tight grip on her hand. The two boys ran along behind. They were by the sea, but not the seaside like when Mummy and Daddy had taken her for a day out on the beach at Scarborough. There was no beach here, just buildings and the ships were much bigger than the fishing boats Daddy had taken her to see. The woman stopped in front of a man with a clipboard, who ticked some items off his list and then pointed them towards a metal bridge leading to the biggest ship Betty had ever seen. She couldn’t get on a ship. Ships went over the sea. If she went over the sea, Mummy and Daddy would never find her. ‘But my daddy’s coming back for me.’

The woman folded her arms. ‘You’re going somewhere much nicer. Now, on you get. Chop-chop. Off on an adventure.’

There was a sharp shove in her back and Betty had no choice but to follow the wave of tiny bodies making their way onto the boat.

Chapter 5

Jane

Church soon became the best part of my life. On Sundays we would walk up to church. It was a beautiful old building with stone arches and a statue of Jesus at the front door. There was a routine to church, and order of things. At church, nobody would shout or point out what I was doing wrong. At church I could listen to the words of the priest and look at the pictures in the windows and above the altar. Christ on the cross. Mary with her baby. According to the priest she was kind and the most loving of mothers. In the big window she was gathering little children of all nations to her. Sometimes I wished I could step into that picture and be gathered up, safe and loved, far, far away from Mrs Reed.

Each night I knelt beside my bed, and Mrs Reed stood in the doorway and listened to my prayers. I had to thank God that I had a home with her. I had to pray for my cousins, John and Emma. I had to pray for forgiveness for all my wickedness. After Mrs Reed was gone, I always got back on my knees and prayed for my mother. The night before my seventh birthday I prayed extra hard that she would come and find me.

The next morning I got up, wondering if there would be presents on the breakfast table or if I’d have to wait until evening. Mrs Reed hadn’t asked me what I wanted to do, but I imagined a trip to the beach, like I’d done on my other birthdays, when the whole community had joined me and Mum for a picnic.

There were no presents on the breakfast table.

There was no day at the beach.

There were no presents after school, either.

At bedtime, before I knelt down to say my prayers, I took a deep breath in and asked Mrs Reed, ‘Did you know it was my birthday?’

The woman frowned, but didn’t answer my question. ‘I don’t have time for silliness like that, Jane. Go on, say your prayers.’

That night, in my head, I asked God to take me away from the Reeds.

Two weeks later, Mrs Reed came into my room before breakfast and told me to put my best clothes on because we were going to the cinema. ‘It’s Emma’s birthday day out,’ she said.

Emma had grown out of a very pretty yellow dress that was now my smartest outfit. I pulled off my pyjamas and was taking the pretty yellow dress out of my wardrobe when I heard a noise. John was standing in my doorway. He was looking at me in the strangest way. I pulled the dress off the hanger and held it in front of my body. ‘What are you doing in here?’

‘You can’t hide from me, you know.’ He was still smiling as he stepped into the room.

‘Go away!’ I spoke softly. I always spoke softly. Mrs Reed didn’t like shouting.

‘You can’t make me.’ He took another step into my room.

‘Go away.’ I backed away from him, but there was nowhere I could go.

‘This is my house and I’ll do whatever I want.’ He was eleven years old, and much bigger than me. I made to duck past him to run to the bathroom, but he stepped sideways and blocked my way, grabbing my bare shoulders.

‘Leave me alone.’ I slapped his hands away. Something was very wrong, but I didn’t really know what.

‘What’s going on in here?’ Mrs Reed was in the hallway outside the room. She saw my body. ‘Jane!’

‘She called me to come in here,’ John said, the same half-smile still on his face. ‘And when I did, she took her clothes off.’

Mrs Reed paled. ‘John, leave the room. I’ll deal with this.’

‘That’s not what happened,’ I explained as he walked away. ‘I didn’t…’

‘Not one more word from you.’ Mrs Reed paced up and down the floor two, and then three times, before she turned to face me. ‘You’re not pretty, Jane.’

‘What?’

‘You’re like me. Not like your mother. She always had every boy in the town after her. And she let them, you know.’ She scowled. ‘I thought without her pretty face you might be different. I thought I might be able to teach you how to behave before it was too late, but the apple never falls far from the tree after all.’

‘I didn’t. John’s lying…’

My words were cut off by the crack of her hand across my cheek. ‘Never ever blame my son for your dirtiness. Now get dressed.’

I lifted the pretty yellow frock to pull it over my head, but Mrs Reed snatched it away from me.

‘Not this. You can’t have Emma’s pretty things until you show you deserve them.’ She took an old brown dress from my cupboard. ‘Put this on.’

When I was dressed, she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me through the house. ‘You’ve spoiled this day for all of us,’ she said. ‘Apologise to poor John and to Emma. We can’t go for her birthday treat now. I will not leave you alone in this house and you certainly can’t come with us.’

Emma immediately started to wail and stamp her feet.

‘Why don’t we leave her on the balcony?’ John said slowly. ‘There’s nothing she can steal or break out there.’

I froze. The balcony was a place of horror. There was nothing but that thin railing between me and the ground far below. I’d often sat just inside, desperate for a view of the sky, but I hadn’t set foot on the balcony since that first morning. ‘No. Please. I didn’t do what he said…’

‘I told you not to lie.’ Mrs Reed dragged me towards the glass doors. ‘Well, you will stay out there and think about your sin. John’s right. Why should you be allowed to spoil Emma’s day?’

She thrust me through the door and I fell onto the tiles. On the other side of the glass doors, the family walked out of the apartment and slammed the front door closed behind them.

I crawled back towards the wall and squeezed myself into the corner, where I couldn’t see the edge of the balcony, or the rail or the long fall below it. I sat there for a very long time. At first I tried not to cry. I knew Mum would want me to be brave, but Mum wasn’t here. It was just me. Completely abandoned, completely alone. I stopped fighting and let the tears come.

‘Are you all right?’

The voice seemed to come from out of the sky. It was soft and kind and full of gentleness.

‘Are you Our Lady?’

‘No.’ The voice laughed. ‘I heard you crying. Are you all right?’

The voice floated towards me on the breeze. ‘Then are you an angel?’

The voice laughed again. ‘No. I’m Jennifer. I’m standing on my balcony, downstairs from you. Are you Jane? I’ve heard about you, but we’ve never met.’

I hadn’t heard about her, but then Mrs Reed didn’t like the people in the building and didn’t talk to them very often.

‘Are you all right, Jane? Have you locked yourself out on the balcony?’

‘No. Mrs Reed puts me here. When I do bad things.’

‘Is she there with you?’

‘No. They went out.’

There was a long pause. I pressed my back harder against the wall, screwing my eyes closed and not thinking about the drop below. ‘Are you still there?’

‘I’m here. Would you like me to stay here until Mrs Reed comes home? You can talk to me and tell me all about yourself.’

‘Yes, please.’ I wasn’t quite so scared any more.

Chapter 6

Betty

The days merged into one another. The sea was big and the journey went on forever. Every morning Betty woke up, shivering and sweaty, squashed into the cramped bunk, stomach lurching with the rolls of the ship. Every night before she went to sleep, she clasped her hands together like she used to do at home and prayed that in the morning she’d wake up in her own bed, and go into the kitchen and have bread and jam with Daddy.

‘Time to get up.’

Betty didn’t have pyjamas anymore. She’d had them in her little case when she’d got on the boat but they’d disappeared, so now she spent her nights and days in one grubby, stinky set of clothes. She hadn’t had a bath or combed out her hair for weeks. The ladies with them didn’t know how to deal with Betty’s curls. One of them had tried but quickly gave up when Betty screamed against the pulling and the pain.

They followed the woman to the dining hall where the children were huddled together into one corner with bread and butter. The other passengers came and went as they pleased, talking about ‘ten pounds for all this’ or grumbling about their seasickness or the choices for breakfast.

After they’d eaten they were led outside, and told to be quiet and not to bother anyone. At first, Betty sat on her own. Most of the children were bigger than her. A lot of them liked to sit in the sun, but Betty didn’t. When the others sat in the sun, their fair skin went bright pink. When she sat in the sun, her skin went brown. She’d started to look different. Like Daddy had looked different. That’s when the women had told her to stay inside. They’d said she would look dirty and no-one would ever give her a home. Betty hadn’t listened to them. Sooner or later Daddy would come and find her and take her home. But she did stay out of the sun.

After a little while she made a friend.

Her name was Kay, and despite being older, she was the only one who ever talked to Betty. They whispered together in the bunk late at night.

‘Where did you come from? Before they sent you here.’

Betty screwed up her face. ‘I was in a big house with other children.’

Kay nodded. ‘Me too. So your mam’s dead, then?’

Betty shook her head vigorously. ‘She’s not very well but she’s going to get better and she’s going to come home and…’ She tailed off. And what? Betty wasn’t sure.

‘Nah. She must have died. I heard Mrs Collins say we were all orphans.’

Betty turned the word around in her head. ‘What’s a norfan?’

‘Orphan. It’s when your mam and dad are dead.’

‘I’m not one of them. My daddy said he would come back and get me.’ Betty’s face crumpled as fat tears started to run down her cheeks.

‘Aw. Come on. Don’t do that.’ Kay looked anxious. ‘Come on. I’ll show you what I do when I’m feeling sad.’

They held hands as they walked up on deck and out onto the open area right at the back of the ship. It was cold and windy and dark, but, when Betty looked up, the blackness of the sky was sprinkled with glowing stars.

‘They are so pretty.’

Kay nodded. ‘But sometimes, it’s even prettier. Just wait.’

Betty waited. She didn’t know what she was waiting for. Then she saw a golden spark fly across the sky. And then another.

‘Look.’ Kay pointed to the top of the big funnel that loomed over the ship.

As Betty watched, more sparks, all golden and red, flew from the top of the funnel. Sometimes it was only a few, but sometimes there seemed to be hundreds of sparks, flying up into the air, high above the waves. Away from the ship and all the people on it. Back towards where they’d come from. Back towards home and Daddy. Betty wanted to be one of them.

‘They’re so pretty. And they’re free.’

The girls stood there, holding hands, watching the sparks. But soon the sparks got fewer and fewer. Until finally, they stopped coming at all. The stars no longer seemed pretty to Betty. They were white and cold, and so distant.

‘I wish they would never stop.’

‘I bet we can make our own,’ Kay said. ‘Wait here. I won’t be long.’ She ran back along the deck.

Betty watched the top of the funnels, hoping the sparks would appear again, but they didn’t. She felt lost and alone without them.

Kay came running back. ‘Look.’

She held some sheets of paper and a box of matches.

‘Where did you get them?’

‘In the posh dining room.’

Kay scrunched the paper into a ball before setting it down on the deck in a sheltered corner where the wind wasn’t too strong. She pulled out a pink-headed match from her box and struck it against the side of the box to no effect. The second time, the match sparked into life. Betty watched the orange flame dance as Kay leant towards the balled-up paper. She set the match to the paper and then bent close in, blowing gently on the tiny hint of fire.

Betty felt her heart pounding in her chest. They weren’t supposed to be here. Kay definitely wasn’t supposed to have matches.

Betty gazed at the fire. The pounding in her chest slowed. The screaming inside her head quieted. The thoughts of the women and the spanking they were going to get disappeared. She let her mind be filled by the bright, dancing flames, feeling the warmth prickle the skin on her legs, feeling the smoke spike at her eyes, but never looking away. She could feel the warmth of the fire in the hearth. She could hear the sound of Daddy breathing as she rested her head on his chest. This boat, and this journey, and all the confusion she’d been living with, faded away. Then she slowly lifted her head as a bit of paper, glowing with flame, flew up into the night air. Free of the ship, floating back towards home.

‘Betty!’ Kay grabbed her arm and pulled, but Betty didn’t move. She couldn’t. The fire had captured her and was holding her in its embrace.

‘Betty! Someone’s coming.’

Betty ignored her friend again.

‘Fine.’ She heard Kay’s footsteps as she ran away from the fire, but Betty stayed still.

A big brown boot shoved in front of her and stamped away the flames. ‘What do you think you’re doing, setting a fire on a ship?’