Don't Look Back

Don’t Look Back

Joanne Rock

MILLS & BOON

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For Brenda Chin, who gave me that all-important first chance. Thank you for your guidance and support, and for expertly reading my story pitch over my shoulder when I couldn’t seem to get the words out of my mouth. Six years after that first call, this is still the coolest job imaginable.

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

1

“I’M NOT WATCHING this with you.”

Detective Donata Casale tossed the DVD case on the table in the 10th precinct’s media room and glared at her so-called partner.

“Fine.” Mick Juarez dumped a steady stream of sugar into his coffee and shrugged with the blasé confidence of a man who didn’t have anything to prove. “Don’t do your job. It’s no skin off my nose.”

The scent of java mixed with the stale stench of sweat and crime and cheap aftershave that permeated the building most days.

“Do you ever disagree with anyone about anything?” Donata resented Mick for his refusal to get riled up over stuff when life seemed hell-bent on pissing her off at every turn. “Doesn’t it irritate you to know I got stuck with the porno case just because I’m new on the force and a woman?”

She picked up the DVD sleeve again and wondered why her lieutenant thought it would be a good idea to give the sex footage to her and Mick to watch when they were one of the few mixed-gender detective partnerships in the precinct’s detective squad. Thankfully, at least Mick had sworn off women after his ex-wife did a number on him a few years back, so Donata never had to worry about any guy-girl chemistry getting in the way of a solid partnership.

“Maybe we got it because our past investigative work might connect to this somehow.” Mick stirred his coffee for so long Donata thought she’d scream if he banged the spoon against the mug one more time. “Or maybe we had the lightest caseload to take on something new. Who knows? But to answer your question, no, it doesn’t irritate me to be handed an important assignment.”

Gently, he pried the DVD cover from her hand and Donata wondered how he could deflate her well-deserved fury so readily. The guy might have a serious sugar habit, but he was a rock. At thirty-eight, he was one of the most respected detectives on the squad. Patient and smart, Mick had outlasted four other partners to end up with her—the rookie no one else wanted because of her checkered past.

She might have been promoted quickly based on job performance, but in her years as a patrol officer, she’d seen the way cops could close ranks against outsiders. She’d overcome some of that bias in her last precinct, but then her promotion to detective had moved her to a new squad and put her at the back of the class all over again at the age of twenty-seven.

“Fine.” Donata dropped into a chair near the computer screen and opened the file folder that had been given to them along with the DVD of an underage girl allegedly filmed without her knowledge. “But I’m closing my eyes during the naked parts. I really fail to see how us watching cheap porn will lead to finding any clues about a shady film distributor. From what I understand, the producers usually operate far away from the site of any actual studio humping.”

Disgruntled to have been given an assignment surely intended to embarrass her, Donata studied the reports in the file while Mick clicked the necessary commands to load the video footage. New York’s lower West Side might be home to a new adult filmmaker, but to her way of thinking, cops had more violent criminals to track than the lowlifes shipping porn across state lines. Possibly they could help a few mildly underage girls leave the business though, and at least that was a goal Donata could get behind. Then maybe watching this with Mick wouldn’t feel like such a punishment.

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Mick pointed out in typical unflappable fashion. “But one thing’s for sure, lady, you’ve got to get over thinking the whole precinct is out to get you.”

Donata stiffened, surprised even easygoing Mick would tread those waters.

She’d been about to remind him of a few choice comments their fellow officers had made the first day she’d been promoted to the detective squad two months ago, when a sudden outburst of profanity halted her.

Shocked at the uncharacteristic response from her partner, Donata looked up from the file notes to see a girl—fifteen at the oldest—slowly undoing her blouse in what appeared to be her home bedroom. Stuffed animals and posters of screen idols competed for space around her bed while the dim light of her computer screen provided the only illumination for her room.

“What the hell is this?” Mick stood so fast the rolling chair went flying out from underneath him as he thundered away from the PC.

Donata, on the other hand, couldn’t look away.

“She’s got a webcam,” Donata replied softly, knowing Mick had a sixteen-year-old daughter who wanted nothing to do with him after being raised by her mother abroad. The sight of this girl on the screen had to suck all the more for him.

And yeah, it was tough for Donata to look at the footage, too.

But unlike Mick, Donata had just found a new mission in life because she recognized the young woman on the screen. Not the girl’s name or any part of her identity, maybe, but Donata recognized the desperation. The determination to take charge of life even though you had so few options at that age.

Donata remembered the overwhelming desire to please a lover after being raised with little love to speak of. She understood the innocent willingness to do anything for a guy who showed you a few scraps of affection.

And worse, she knew what it felt like to be betrayed by that same person you once worshipped.

Because the girl on the screen had been Donata once. And not for all the world would Donata let this anonymous young woman face the private hell that she had.

SEAN BERINGER didn’t like being in a police station on a good day. But pacing the corridors of the 10th precinct when he knew damn well the cops inside the media room were about to invade his private investigation of a so-called reality adult filmmaker had his blood simmering, his skin crawling and his head about ten minutes from exploding.

“Who’s on this case anyway?” he asked a passing detective who’d grudgingly admitted the pending investigation since they used to walk a Harlem beat together back in the day.

Back when Sean was still naive enough to believe wearing a badge could actually accomplish something.

“Look, man, don’t bust my balls about this. I only told you we were on the case because I thought you’d be satisfied someone was working it.” The detective, ballistics expert Warren Vitalis, looked as though he wanted to say more as he rapped his pencil against a stack of papers at the desk sergeant’s cubicle.

Sensing possible information, Sean forced himself to quit pacing and focus. He had made good friends on the force for nearly ten years. But he’d walked away from the NYPD after his sister was molested. Family trumped friends every time.

“Please say it’s somebody good on this case and not some tight-ass yes-man.” At thirty-two years old, Sean had battled a tendency to speak his thoughts most of his life, but he didn’t even try to curb his mouth for the sake of a cop he’d probably walked a thousand miles with during their year of shared foot patrol.

“More of a yes-woman,” Warren noted before pointing his pencil toward the media room as the door finally opened. “And I’m making no comment on the ass.”

Sean followed his gesture toward the woman emerging with a determined strut, her curves cloaked under a conservative suit jacket and knee-length skirt but still obvious to any discerning male eye. Her hair was darker blond than the last time Sean had seen her—more natural-looking than the platinum Marilyn Monroe locks she’d once sported—but she still outlined her lips with bold red lipstick in a flagrant in-your-face to the stereotypes about women cops. Her audacious figure and heart-shaped face made her look more like an old-time gangster moll than a detective, but then, Sean had the benefit of seeing her at home in her old life before the decision to switch sides.

“No need for comment,” Sean finally managed to say when he found his voice. Donata Casale was the very last person he’d expected to see walk out of that media room, although a few years ago he remembered hearing that she’d been trying to see what life looked like on the other side of the law. “An ass like that speaks for itself.”

Warren smothered a laugh, but not soon enough to stop Donata from looking his way. Sean’s way.

“Damn you, Vitalis.” Straightening, Sean ignored the sexual zing a woman like Donata brought to any room. “The one time I manage to keep my commentary to a whisper you sell me out anyway.”

The station quieted for a moment as petite Donata changed direction and came straight toward him. Sean was intrigued to note the way the whole precinct paid attention to her, and not necessarily in a good way.

You could tell the women who hadn’t acclimated to the predominantly male world of a police station. They either ignored the men around them in a continual effort to distinguish themselves with kick-ass work and be accepted, or they tweaked the male egos around them at every turn in an effort to show their lack of concern for male approval.

Sean didn’t have to ask which type of woman detective Donata Casale made. Her lipstick told the tale at ten paces.

“A P.I. in our midst?” Donata observed lightly, tugging her white shirt cuffs down as she approached. “Perhaps Mr. Beringer finds himself in need of professional assistance.”

It had been four years since he’d faced off with this woman, but from the glint in her eyes, Sean guessed she hadn’t forgiven him for their last encounter. He also noted that the blouse under her conservative jacket appeared to be pure silk—a glitzy holdover from her old life, perhaps.

“Actually, I came here to offer assistance.” He looked over her shoulder, hoping for an ally who didn’t already hate his guts. “Is your partner around? I wouldn’t want to get slapped with sexual harassment charges because we shared the same air space.”

Apparently he hadn’t completely forgiven her either. He hadn’t realized he held a grudge until the pissy accusation left his lips. Then again he wasn’t some navel-gazing sensitive guy to sit around and weigh his state of mind when there was work to do.

If his words found any leverage in this woman’s conscience, she didn’t show it. If anything, her deceptively innocent baby blues only narrowed in preparation for battle.

“Still finding it tough to keep your hands to yourself?” Her tight smile let him know that she’d entered this skirmish for show and not because she had any interest in a discussion with him. “It must be hell to discover you’re so victimized by your libido, but I’ll let my partner know about your offer.”

Pivoting on her heel, she presented him with her back and walked away.

Definitely a tight ass.

And damn, but he’d let that conversation go to hell in a hurry.

Sean cursed himself for being a prick when he could have used a bit of goodwill from the investigating officer on this one. He definitely needed to work on the amount of free rein he gave his mouth, but not once in his life had he ever given his hands too much freedom when it came to a woman. Especially not a woman he held in custody, the way he’d once held Donata.

Swallowing his pride and praying for a little more reserve, Sean stalked after her, not giving a crap about the field day the rumor mill would surely have with this incident. He needed Donata’s assurance she was going to back off this case and he wasn’t leaving the building without it. Ignoring the whistles and the comments pelted his way as he dodged metal desks and dilapidated rolling chairs spilling into the aisles, Sean told himself he needed to mentally regroup.

Donata wasn’t the same woman she’d been four years ago, and even then he hadn’t understood her. He’d made a costly error in judgment with an old case when she’d been working in conjunction with the feds, but that was the price of taking risks in police work. You might make more headway in some cases, but following hunches could sometimes give you just enough rope to hang yourself.

Cornering Donata in the vacant break room, he helped himself to a powdered doughnut while she poured herself a cup of coffee nearby. He had no idea how to get back in her good graces, but this case was important enough that he’d try.

Clearing his throat, he lowered his voice and came straight to the point.

“I take it you’re still pissed off about that night I arrested you?”

2

DONATA TOLD HERSELF that this man probably had no idea how badly his timing sucked.

In fact, she told herself repeatedly while she contemplated the added calories of coffee creamer and decided she’d rather not do the extra sit-ups required and she’d really rather not have this discussion with a man who’d caused her so much grief.

“You give yourself a lot of credit, don’t you?” She turned to face him, clutching her coffee cup and hoping her nosier colleagues could restrain themselves from wandering in for at least a few minutes. No doubt the whole place would be buzzing about her run-in with the man whose accusations had been her biggest obstacle to overcome in securing a spot on the force.

Damn him for showing up today when she should be formulating a plan to unearth a first-degree pervert who was filming girls in their home bedrooms and then mass-marketing their mistakes for public consumption.

“Honestly, no. I only asked because the incident seems like it’s not going away until we deal with it, and I’ve really got to talk to you about your new investigation.”

His sudden switch to seeming forthrightness caught her off guard even though that was exactly the same way he’d snuck under her radar long ago. She hadn’t known what to make of a direct man back then and she sure as hell didn’t know what to make of him now.

Everything about Sean Beringer was entirely too good-looking. He was the kind of man Donata had always avoided because she suspected a man like him would require far too much work. A woman who succumbed to an exterior that attractive would certainly spend half her time beating off other women with a stick. And—from a purely practical standpoint—a man like him would have to devote too much time to battling temptation continually waved under his nose.

He was tall, loose-limbed, broad shouldered. A hot body currently clothed in jeans, a Mets T-shirt and a long wool coat that a more discerning dresser would have paired with a suit. But the incongruity of the dress coat and the T-shirt did nothing to detract from the dark male beauty of deep-set hazel eyes under angular brows.

“What would you know about my caseload?” She sipped the coffee and wondered where Mick had gone. Shouldn’t her partner be in on this conversation? He probably even knew Sean since they’d no doubt crossed paths when they were both detectives.

“I’ve still got a crony or two I can call on when I’m keeping tabs on a particular case.” He leaned back against an ancient soda machine and watched her through his heavy-lidded eyes.

Had the ballistics guy—Vitalis, she seemed to remember—given Sean insider information? She’d seen them talking earlier when she first spied Sean, but she didn’t want to believe the firearms analyst would do anything remotely shady. He struck her as an upstanding guy despite his intimidating looks.

“And just what are you keeping tabs on lately?” She knew he’d had a special interest in her former boyfriend, a mobster type she’d eventually sold out when she learned what kind of person he was beneath the expensive veneer.

It had taken her a long time to see herself as more than a naive female who’d fallen for a Svengali-style lover in an effort to get away from a crappy upbringing. But she was more than that. Her record on the force proved it and no innuendo from Sean Beringer could make her think otherwise.

“An adult filmmaking outfit that packages their illegal webcam footage as reality porn. I heard an arrest was made out on Long Island last week after a girl was molested by a guy who contacted her on the Internet.”

Instantly alert, Donata was more than willing to put aside a good grudge against Beringer—temporarily at least—for the sake of her case. On a trip into Manhattan, Sara Chapman had indeed been molested by an older man she thought was a high school guy after a few online chats. Patrol officers had captured the perp without much trouble, but apparently further questioning revealed her molester had found her through her picture on a Web site advertising a reality porn DVD.

Her parents were devastated. Sara wasn’t talking.

“Are you working for the family of the girl?” She knew rich people sometimes hired outside P.I. help if they were concerned the police couldn’t get the job done.

“I’ve got a more personal interest. I’ve been following this case since you and I crossed paths four years ago.”

She waited for him to continue, but he just turned and snatched another doughnut instead, wolfing half of it down and showering the break room floor with powdered sugar.

“Obviously there’s more to this story if you’re still pursuing leads on a case this old. Why don’t I grab my partner and we can—”

“No.” Sean imprisoned her arm before she could turn away to find Mick. “Don’t you think we ought to work out the issues that are ours alone first before we go involving anyone else?”

His touch communicated to her more quickly than his words, the heat of his hand penetrating her jacket and warming her skin beneath. How long had it been since a man had touched her?

“Actually, no.” She pulled out of his grip and set her coffee aside to devote her full attention to the conversation. “Private discussions were how we ended up in trouble last time, remember?”

Her heart pounded strangely, making her hyperaware of her body and the heat simmering inside it.

“No problems with remembering here.” He held up his hands like a suspect trying to remind her he didn’t have a weapon.

Except that he did. Sean Beringer possessed a boatload of sexual attraction that Donata didn’t want any part of.

“Then why don’t you let me get Mick and we’ll make sure there are no more…incidents.”

It was tough to think with him standing so close to her and suddenly she wanted to flee as far and fast as she could. A stupid reaction since she was on a four-year quest to prove to herself she was a woman of strength and integrity. But nothing made her feel weak as quickly as attraction to a man.

“Did you really think I was sexually harassing you back then?” Sean’s forehead furrowed enough to let her know the idea bothered him.

“I—” She hesitated, not sure how to explain. “I thought you were hitting on me.”

Her pulse fluttered in her throat at the memory of being in an interrogation room with him. She’d been working as an informant for the FBI, a position that left her in uncomfortable limbo selling out the ex-boyfriend she’d grown to despise but still needed to stay with. She’d looked like a guilty mobster’s girlfriend to the outside world but inside she knew she was just a blind, stupid idiot who fell for a much older man with a worldly edge that appealed to dopey girls with no judgment.

“For the record, I would never hit on anyone in my custody when I was a cop, and I wouldn’t think of it now that I’m a P.I.” He backed away from her slowly, his dark eyes steady on her face. “I know I messed up your investigation with the arrest and I take full blame for not doing my homework where you were concerned. But I guarantee I’d never make a move on someone I arrested.”

Gulping down more coffee to clear her head of wayward thoughts, Donata wondered if Sean ever hit on lady cops he worked with. A wholly inappropriate notion. She seriously needed to think about finding a lover to take the sexual edge off for her before she combusted from four years’ worth of pent-up frustrations.

“Donata.” A male voice called to her from the door and she looked up to see Mick holding his car keys.

“You’re leaving?” She swallowed the urge to drag him into the break room by his collar. She needed the barrier of his presence to make sure her thoughts didn’t linger on Sean as that potential lover.

“The school called. Katie’s not in class today even though I dropped her off at school at seven-thirty.” His square jaw tightened. “She’s probably just playing hooky at a friend’s house, but she’s not answering her phone.”

“Do you need help?” Concern for Mick’s daughter had her halfway across the room.

“No. Just cover for me here.” He nodded tersely at Sean. A nod of recognition. “I’ll head out to Massapequa after I locate Katie and see what I can learn from the parents of the Chapman girl. I have the feeling the Long Island police will try to move jurisdiction there, but we’re fighting to keep this case since she was molested in our jurisdiction.”

Which meant she’d get stuck here with Sean. Alone.

“Call me when you find out anything.” She could manage without Mick, couldn’t she? She certainly owed him the time to take care of his family when he’d always been so good to her.

His support on the force had bought her far more credibility than her arrest record as a beat cop.

“Will do.” He was gone two seconds later, leaving her in a precinct crowded with officers who resented her presence on the force and a P.I. who had every reason in the world to want to see her fail.

Donata against the world.

Wouldn’t be the first time.

She spun on her heel to face Sean and caught him staring at her from his new perch on the break room table. Right beside the doughnuts. He’d obviously served his time on the police force given his love of the profession’s notorious indulgence.

“Alone at last.” He smiled crookedly at her as he tossed a balled-up napkin in the trash can and slid off the table to stand. “You think we can head somewhere more private now to clear up a few things? Seems like we both have reasons to want to keep this quiet.”

“We can leave the precinct, but I don’t have much time.” Life experience had taught her not to linger with men who made her uncomfortable and she had no intention of ignoring that hard-won wisdom now when Sean’s proximity made her skin heat and her throat go dry.

SEAN SENSED THE runaround when Donata tried to claim she suddenly needed to interview a witness on the NYU campus that afternoon. He tagged along for the ride, figuring she needed to settle down after the sudden way he’d reappeared.

But he drew the line at stepping into the role of her partner while she ran around New York pretending she didn’t feel the sizzle that had damn well always been there between them.