Her eyes widened. ‘That’s terrible! You said you were dumped. Is that why …?’
‘The beautiful Lauren gave me back my ring? Actually she kept the ring, but, no, she was fine with the idea of a baby-free life. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of admitting to her that if the cancer returned then there was the possibility that they might have to amputate my leg. Poor Lauren couldn’t stand the idea of being stuck with a cripple.’
Izzy’s contempt for this woman knew no bounds.
‘She sounds like a total and complete idiot!’ she fumed, wondering if underneath the cynical, amused façade he wasn’t still in love with this prize bitch.
Probably—men had no judgement when it came to beautiful women.
She caught him looking at her oddly and added quickly, ‘I’d have thought they’d have had all sorts of backups to prevent that kind of thing from happening?’
‘They do, but they also have human error.’ The sympathy in her wide clear eyes was genuine, as was the dismay when he added, ‘Lily might be my one chance to be a father and I intend to be fully involved in her life.’
Fully involved. The words made her uncomfortable. ‘I get that … I see, but I’m sure you’ll have your own family.’
‘I already have a family.’
‘We’re not …’ Izzy took a deep breath and forced herself to speak more moderately. ‘In what way, fully?’ she asked, struggling not to sound defensive and knowing she hadn’t succeeded.
Roman held her eyes and set out his intentions so that there was no chance of her misunderstanding. ‘In every way …’
He saw her blue eyes flicker and the muscles beneath the pale skin of her throat ripple as she swallowed, probably wondering what he knew about being a father. But what did he know about being a father?
Refusing to acknowledge the rare voice of silent self-doubt, Roman pushed it away.
‘I hope you’ll help me.’ Roman felt he was being pretty fair given the circumstances, but he would learn with or without her help. ‘I’ve already missed out on the first months of her life.’ Roman stifled the resentment that made the muscle in his cheek clench. What was important, he reminded himself, was the future.
‘And for that you blame me.’
‘I’m trying hard not to.’ But her attitude was making it increasingly difficult; she was so spiky and damned confrontational.
Sensitive to the thread of accusation in his voice, Izzy raised her chin. She was perfectly willing to take responsibility for her part. She’d had sex with a stranger and had got pregnant—not something she was proud of—but she hadn’t done so alone.
‘I realise it might be difficult for you to share Lily …’
Her eyes widened and she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Holding the buggy handle, she used her free hand to lift the collar of her jacket against the chill breeze that was blowing.
‘And why the name Lily?’ Roman asked, looking at the sleeping child.
‘Why. Don’t you like it?’
The suggestion of a smile vanished from his sensual lips as he turned his attention back to Izzy. ‘Do you have to be so defensive? Look, if you want a fight I can do that,’ he said, now visibly exasperated.
‘Of course I don’t.’
‘Actually, I like the name …’ A name he had had no part in choosing. He pushed away the thought and the anger that came with it.
‘Roman, I would have told you about her, but I had no idea how to contact you.’ She gave a laugh to hide her embarrassment and managed to inject a note of rueful amusement into her voice as she added, ‘I didn’t even know your name.’
‘You could have hung around to find out.’
‘When I woke up you were gone.’ Izzy closed her eyes, feeling the familiar sick churning of shame and self-disgust in her stomach as she relived the moment she’d realised that her lover of the previous night had not waited for her to wake up.
That had been the grim reality for her in the early hours of the morning after she had fallen asleep in the arms of her lover, believing this was perhaps the start of a love affair between two people destined to be together.
Even the memory embarrassed her now.
Now she knew it had just been sex. Casual sex.
‘I’d only gone across the road to …’ Izzy shrugged and lowered her gaze, still able to recall the guilt and self-disgust she had felt when she had woken up in that strange room alone. She intended never to forget it.
‘It doesn’t matter now, Roman. It was such a long time ago.’
‘And you have so many meaningless affairs that you might have me mixed up with someone else?’
‘Hardly an affair,’ she countered calmly. ‘More a one-night stand.’
‘I have no taste for semantics.’
‘Well, I like things to be clear … and clearly I’m not your family.’
‘You’re the mother of my child. That makes you my family.’
Izzy’s teeth clenched in frustration as she watched his dark eyes follow a young woman wheeling a pushchair along a path that ran parallel to the lake. She released a hissing sigh and dragged a hand down her cheek, tucking the stray shiny strands of hair behind her ear.
‘You can visit Lily any time you like.’
‘I don’t want to visit Lily.’ His dark eyes held hers as he dropped the bombshell so casually that she barely heard it go off. ‘I want to watch her grow up. I want to help her with her homework. I don’t want to visit her—I want to live with her. Support her …’
‘I support her. I’ve been supporting her for the past fourteen months.’
‘How?’
His scepticism irritated the hell out of her.
‘What do you want—a report? A letter from my bank manager or my CV?’ She gave a snort at his expression.
‘You work? You’re an academic like your mother?’
‘No, I’m not an academic.’
His brow lifted. ‘Have I touched a nerve?’
‘No, you have not touched a nerve!’ she yelled, then, encountering the ironic glitter in his eyes, bit her lip. ‘I did an interior design course at college and got a place with Urquarts.’
‘Impressive. It must have been hard to leave.’
‘How do you know I’ve left?’
‘You are living in Cumbria,’ he pointed out. ‘Not really commutable distance.’
‘Oh, yes … well, actually I’ve done a couple of small commissions the past few months on a self-employed basis … It’s simply a matter of juggling.’ Ten balls in the air but she wasn’t about to admit to him how difficult it was.
‘It is wise, no doubt, for you to keep your hand in, considering how hard it will be for you to get your feet back on the career ladder, but I’m sure you already know that.’
‘It is possible to have a career and be a mother.’
‘Of course it is.’
Her eyes narrowed. ‘Are you patronising me?’ she asked in a dangerous voice.
His dark brows lifted. ‘I am admiring you. Clearly if you got a job with Urquarts you are good at what you do and ambitious …?’
Izzy responded to his quizzical look with a blank expression, determined not to give him any ammunition to use against her.
‘It is good for a woman to be ambitious and stimulated by her work, but the balancing act will be much easier to achieve when you have support … when you are not living alone.’
Izzy just stared at him for a speechless moment. Had he heard a thing she had said? Finally shaking her head, she surged to her feet. ‘That isn’t going to happen. Lily lives with me … she needs me … I need her … no … no … no!’
She reminded him of a tigress defending her young as she positioned herself between him and the buggy. ‘Calm down. I’m not trying to take Lily off you. There are ways around this.’
She folded her arms across her chest. ‘Amaze me.’
‘We both want to live with Lily, so the obvious solution would be to cohabit. Another option we should not discount out of hand, of course, is marriage … a definite possibility.’
Izzy stared at him and thought, My God, he’s insane! My baby’s father is a lunatic. Marriage, he actually said marriage!
‘You’re joking, right?’
‘I’m deadly serious.’
Izzy grabbed the buggy. ‘Just keep away from me and Lily.’
‘You’re being very emotional about this.’
‘Too right,’ she said, turning the buggy around.
He rose with a curse. ‘Look, you’re not letting me explain this properly. You’re not going to deny that a child needs two parents.’
‘Not if one of them is insane.’
‘When I said marriage I was simply referring to a contractual arrangement, not a romantic one.’
‘Love and marriage, now who ever heard of such a crazy idea? It’ll never catch on.’
‘I’m thinking of Lily. Who are you thinking of?’ he yelled after her, smiling despite himself when without turning she made a rude gesture over her shoulder.
‘I’ll be back!’
She did turn then, yelling, ‘I’ve heard it before and the other guy was much more impressive.’
CHAPTER SIX
THE only person Izzy had confided in was Michelle, whom she described the conversation to over coffee and cakes the next morning.
She laughed about it and made it sound like a joke but in truth she was really anxious. Would he try and take Lily from her?
Then Michelle reacted in a way Izzy had never anticipated and instead of condemning Roman she actually defended him.
‘Well, I’m not saying it wasn’t over the top, but at least he isn’t trying to dodge his responsibilities, which a lot of men in this situation would, you know. Did he actually propose? It’s actually rather romantic when you think about it …’
‘Well, not actually propose in so many words,’ Izzy admitted. ‘And believe me, it wasn’t romantic.’
‘So has he been in touch since yesterday?’
‘No, and he’s booked out of the Fox.’ Izzy hoped she had seen the last of Roman Petrelli … didn’t she?
Later that day Izzy was interrupted from her power walking back home by her phone ringing. Chest heaving, she stopped to pull the phone from her pocket halfway up the steep country lane. The calm objectivity she was trying to exhaust herself into still eluded her.
Roman’s I’ll be back threat still haunted her.
It was all about what he wanted, and, yes, today he wanted to be a father, but what did he know about being a parent? Nothing, he had said as much himself, and would he be equally enthusiastic when the novelty of the situation wore off?
‘Yes!’ she breathed into the phone.
‘Izzy, is that you?’ Layla, the owner of the interior design agency she had worked for straight from college, sounded startled … and small wonder.
Izzy took a deep breath. ‘Yes, Layla … sorry, I was just …’
Layla as always got straight to the point. ‘I’ve got a job for you, a big job. It’s perfect, it’s … I’ve got it down somewhere, but it’s in the middle of the country—you like the country, darling.’
‘That sounds great, Layla, and I appreciate you thinking of me, but until Lily is older and at school it’s difficult. The commission in Keswick last month was great, but anything bigger …?’ The older woman had continued to put some part-time commissions her way and Izzy was grateful.
‘Oh, I didn’t think about you, darling—the client specifically requested you.’
‘Me?’
‘Seems like he saw the Dublin town-house project you worked on before Lily was born—did you know it was on the market? Anyhow, apparently he was blown away.’
Izzy felt a stab of pride. She had been pretty pleased with the project herself. ‘So the client is Irish?’
‘Not a clue, darling.’
Izzy frowned and glared at the nail she had just caught herself nibbling before thrusting her hand in her pocket. ‘So you don’t actually know who this client is?’
‘What does that matter? A film star, a royal, an oil-rich sheikh—he won’t be there. Apparently there’s just a skeleton staff. The point is he’s got pots of money, expense is no object and he’ll give you a free hand.’
‘Free hand? There must be a remit?’
‘Nope. He’s apparently willing to put himself entirely in your hands. The only stipulation is that it is a suitable family home to take his bride to … lucky girl. Oh, yes, it is a he.’
‘It sounds too good to be true …’ Izzy found herself almost hoping that there would be a catch; it would make it easier to justify refusing it.
It wasn’t that she regretted her decision to take a career break, but the sense of guilt she felt lingered.
Her own mother had worked up until the day before Izzy’s birth and had returned to work two weeks after. She had always encouraged ambition in her daughter and instilled the importance of having a career and being independent, and she would have been appalled that Izzy had taken even a temporary career break to look after her baby.
Ironically it was thanks to her mother that Izzy was financially able to take time off at all to spend with Lily. Izzy was still receiving healthy royalties cheques from her mother’s successful writing career.
‘A gig like this could make your career, Izzy.’
‘True.’ And two years ago Izzy would have jumped at the golden opportunity. ‘And I appreciate the offer, but the timing’s not right,’ she said firmly.
‘Is this about leaving Lily? Because, you know, you don’t have to. Part of the remit is to make the place child friendly, not just a show house—a family home. Lily could be your guinea pig!’
‘Really?’ Izzy’s thoughts raced. That did put a different slant on it.
‘I’d say go and think it over but the only problem is—’
‘I knew this was too good to be true.’
‘They want you to start immediately.’
‘How immediately?’
‘Right away … as in tomorrow.’
Izzy was shaking her head. Organising Lily for a trip to the local supermarket took her an hour. ‘Well, that’s just not …’ She stopped, an arrested expression stealing across her face as she thought, What am I doing?
Suddenly she felt her excitement growing. Far from being bad timing, this could actually be perfect timing! ‘Tomorrow?’
‘You’ll take it …’ The relief in the older woman’s voice was unmistakeable.
‘Where is this place?’
‘Oh, you won’t need directions,’ Layla replied when Izzy asked for the address and a contact number. ‘There will be a car to pick you up at the station. It couldn’t be simpler. Just let me know what train you’ll be on and I’ll pass on the details. And don’t forget to keep your receipts. The client is willing to pay all travel expenses and I didn’t even have to ask.’
Simple—if she didn’t already know that Layla was childless this phrase would have cleared up any confusion, Izzy decided as she disembarked from the train with a baby buggy and her baggage.
She felt hot and sticky as Lily’s beaker of juice had spilled down her linen trousers. On the plus side the stain distracted from the creases in her trousers and she decided that linen had perhaps not been the best choice. But she had wanted to make a good first impression and the wide-legged trousers teamed with her favourite silk shirt had seemed to say professional competence. Ah, well, fingers crossed her new client was not someone who judged by appearances.
It wasn’t until she exited the railway station that it occurred to Izzy she had no idea where she was going, let alone who was picking her up. A situation a normal person could be relaxed about, but not one with a baby.
As she manoeuvred the buggy laden with bags she saw a silver four-wheel drive taking up several parking spaces. As she approached the door opened and a man wearing a dark suit got out from the massive car with blacked-out windows.
The man did not hesitate, but approached her directly. ‘Miss Fitzgerald?’
Her brows rose. She hadn’t been expecting the strong Italian accent. ‘Yes, that’s me.’ She tipped her head in acknowledgement and nodded, registering the width of his shoulders. ‘How did you know?’
The man removed his dark glasses and shot out a hand to stop the holdall balanced on top of her case from falling to the ground.
‘The boss described you.’
Presumably a woman with a baby.
‘Here, I’ve got it,’ he added, taking the buggy she had lifted Lily from and snapping it closed with an expert action.
‘You look like an expert, Mr …?’
‘Gennaro, miss, just Gennaro. Grandchildren,’ he added by way of explanation.
‘Hello, Gennaro, and thank you,’ she added as he tossed the heavier of her suitcases into the boot space beside the buggy with impressive ease. Those shoulders were not just for show, it seemed.
He flashed her what she presumed passed as a smile in his world, but might have been a grimace. The man had a face that made a granite rock face look expressive.
‘Is it far?’ Izzy asked as she settled herself in the back seat. Lily was strapped securely into a baby seat beside her, her lavishly lashed eyes already closing.
The driver glanced at her in the rear-view mirror. His shades were back in place. ‘No.’
Izzy didn’t press him for more information, partly because he was negotiating rush-hour traffic through a busy market town and partly because he did not look a man who wanted to chat. She leaned back in her seat and decided to enjoy the journey.
Once they had left the town behind the countryside in this area proved pretty. As she gazed at the passing scenery her thoughts began to wander into territory she had been avoiding.
Would Roman have fulfilled his threat of ‘I’ll be back’—expecting her to give ground? What would he do when he discovered she was gone?
The thoughts going through her mind made Izzy frown. She chewed her lip and tried to summon some of the defiant certainty that she had begun the journey with.
Relax, she told herself. This is the right thing to do. Annoyed that she felt the need to justify her actions, she shook her head and with a spurt of defiance said out loud, ‘What could he do?’
Embarrassed, she looked around. Lily was still sleeping, her face flushed, and the driver gave no hint of having heard her, concentrating hard on the road ahead.
Izzy lowered her rigid body back into the leather seat, not realising until that moment how knotted the muscles in her neck and spine were.
Your trouble, Izzy, she told herself, is that you worry too much and have a tendency to overanalyse.
She had taken a job, not made a life-changing decision! True, she would feel better about it if her father and Michelle had not expressed their concerns over her decision to take the job, or at least the timing.
They had reluctantly agreed to her request not to give Roman any information about her whereabouts if he asked. In retrospect she could see that it was unfair of her to put them in that position. This was her problem, not theirs.
As her mum would have said, Your mess, Izzy, you clean it up. And she’d have been right.
Izzy exhaled a long gusty sigh, finally acknowledging the voice in the back of her mind she’d been trying very hard not to hear all day. When she rang the farm this evening to give them the address as promised, Izzy decided she would tell them they didn’t have to lie for her. She leaned back in her seat, feeling some of the tension leave her shoulder blades. She felt a lot better having made that decision.
She would contact Roman herself and explain the situation. She recognised the real risk he’d come rushing down here throwing around his ultimatums and trying to take over her life, but it was one she felt she had to take. He did have a right to know where his daughter was.
She chewed her lip, fretfully gnawing at the soft flesh. Running away from her problems was just so not her. It made her seem … spineless, but the timing of the perfect job offer when she had been feeling so cornered by Roman had been too much of a temptation.
Well, the job was still perfect and on the plus side it might make Roman see her in a different light. This was an opportunity to show him she could have a career and be a good mother, that the two were not mutually exclusive. She needed to establish from the outset that she wasn’t someone he could push around.
Izzy spent the next fifteen minutes of the journey working out what she would say to him, mentally rewriting and editing the conversation in her head, anticipating all his comments and coming up with some killer comebacks. By the time the car pulled off the highway and onto a long straight driveway lined with copper beeches she was confident that she had made her argument forcibly but in a calm, reasonable way.
And she would not make the mistake of apologising. Roman was the sort of man who equated apology with weakness. She had a perfect right to take a job without consulting him and she would make that quite clear.
As they reached the rise in the drive she leaned forward, looking through the windscreen anticipating seeing a house, but the drive just stretched on bounded either side by parkland grazed by sheep and a few cattle. ‘Are we here?’
‘Next bend you’ll see it.’
Izzy sat up straighter in her seat, holding on to the door as the four-wheel drive negotiated a wooden bridge. ‘Does all this land belong to the house? Oh, my goodness!’
‘Sì, it is a bit of a dump,’ came the dour response to her amazed gasp.
Izzy couldn’t decide from his expression if he was joking or not because the dump he spoke of was an enormous golden-stoned mansion.
Izzy took a deep breath. ‘It’s beautiful.’ Actually beautiful did not do the building justice; it was stunning, with mullioned windows and mellow golden stone—totally breathtaking!
Gennaro brought the car to a halt on the gravelled area in front of the house. ‘The boss said—’
‘Where is …?’ Gennaro pulled open his door and she raised her voice, adding, ‘When will I be meeting him and his wife?’
It was fine by her if the elusive clients did not want to be hands-on, but, as she had told Layla, it was essential that she at least meet them. Her job was not about ticking off a list of requirements or filling a place with the current fashionable must haves; a home had to reflect a person’s personality.
‘The boss isn’t married—’
Izzy frowned as the man crunched around to her side. ‘But I thought …’ She accepted the hand he offered as she jumped down.
‘And I’d say you’re about to meet him.’ In response to Izzy’s questioning frown, he nodded his head to a point behind her. ‘Here he is now. Don’t worry about the baby. I’ll get her out.’
Izzy turned around to face the direction the burly Italian indicated in time to see a tall, lithe figure vaulting over the six-bar gate that kept the sheep from straying into the garden.
‘Oh, my God!’ Izzy felt as if a giant hand had pushed into her chest and for several heart-thudding moments she literally couldn’t breathe. How do I get out of here?
Roman, seemingly oblivious to her state of near collapse, walked straight up to the older man, who nodded and removed his shades. ‘Any problems, Gennaro?’
‘No, boss, the train was actually on time.’ Gennaro unfastened the baby seat complete with baby and lifted it out.
‘I’ll take that.’
Izzy watched, too stunned to protest, as Roman took hold of the baby carrier.
‘Should I take the bags up?’
‘If you would. Oh, and could you ask Mrs Saunders to send some coffee through to the library, and maybe some sandwiches? Then I won’t be needing either of you until tomorrow.’
Gennaro nodded his thanks at Roman and tacked something on the end of his conversation in Italian that made Roman laugh.
Izzy wasn’t laughing.
She wasn’t even capable of acknowledging Gennaro’s nod as, with a case under each arm, he walked up the shallow flight of steps towards the open front door.
‘Good trip, Isabel?’
He spoke as though this was a prearranged meeting, which of course it was—only she hadn’t been kept in the loop. She had stepped right into the trap he’d so cleverly baited. He knew exactly what her weakness was; she’d told him about her guilt at being a stay-at-home mum even if she could afford it financially. And he had sown the seeds of doubt when he had suggested that it might not be so easy to step back into the job market after a lengthy break. This was the set-up to end all set-ups!