“Come sit down beside me,” she said.
“I didn’t want to disturb you,” he said as he sat on a tree stump next to her. “You’ve been quiet tonight. I figured you’d head to bed the first chance you got.”
“I’ll head that way soon,” she said. “How are you doing?”
She had to be careful when asking Scott about his injury. He made every attempt to ignore it and she knew he wouldn’t want her to be worried about him.
“Tired…but in a good way, you know?” he said.
“Yeah, I’m surprised to say that I can understand that,” Lacey said.
She picked up one of the logs that had been left at the side of the fire and carefully placed it on top of the other burning wood. As they sat there in silence, with both of them staring into the fire, she wondered where Scott’s thoughts were right then. Was he back remembering another time, before the world had changed, perhaps when he’d sat around a fire like this with his friends? With Ben? Or did the bright flames and the smell of burning wood take him back to Afghanistan? To the explosion that had injured his leg? That had killed Ben?
He’d never shared anything about what had happened that day and she had never asked. Some things she didn’t need to know.
Looking around the campground, she was surprised to see they were the only two who hadn’t headed into the cabins. How long had they been sitting there, just the two of them?
She looked up to the sky and saw that there was only a small sliver of the moon shining through the clouds. She heard the hoot of an owl in the distance and heard the crackle of the fire as one of the logs broke apart into bright embers.
“I like this,” Scott said.
“It’s a nice area, and the cabins are definitely a bonus,” Lacey said.
She reached for another log when she saw that the last one had already burned. Then she picked up one of the sticks they had used for the marshmallows and stirred the embers.
“No, I like sitting here with you,” Scott said.
Lacey’s hand froze. The stick in her hand began to burn and she tossed it into the fire. What was Scott saying? She felt that he wanted something more from her. More than the friendship they had shared. Had shared? No, they were still friends. It was just that they had complicated things between the two of them with feelings that they knew weren’t right.
She wanted to beat her head against the ground till she figured out exactly what it was that was going on between the two of them, but she knew all she’d have was a headache and still no answers. She didn’t want to have this conversation, but she knew that it was needed, so that they could return to the way things had been before they’d messed up.
“I enjoy being with you too, Scott,” she said. “It’s something that has always made our friendship special. I’ve never had to watch what I say or do with you. Being with you has always made me feel comfortable.”
Scott knew without her saying anything more where she was headed with this conversation. She found their relationship comfortable. Like an old pair of shoes. Was that what she had always thought of their relationship?
He made himself stop before he said something that would make things worse. And, really, could he blame her for the way she felt? Hadn’t he felt the same? If he had never kissed her at the hospital would they be sitting here now, discussing relationships and feelings?
But had it only been the kiss that had changed things between them? If he was honest with himself—really honest—he had to admit that his feelings for Lacey over the past year had been changing. He’d even stopped dating after he had started to compare the last two girls he’d gone out with to Lacey. He’d told himself that he just needed a break from all the drama that came with dating, and that his life was full with his job and the vets he worked with on the program.
And with Lacey and Alston.
They’d been a big part of his life ever since Ben had died, and at some point his time with Lacey had become less about helping Ben’s widow and more about spending time with her. And that was something that was never supposed to happen and it wasn’t something he was proud of.
He’d managed to put his attraction to Lacey away years ago, after Ben had come home one night and declared that Lacey was the one for him. And since the day he had stood as Ben’s best man at their wedding he had looked at Lacey as his best friend’s wife.
But how did he explain all this to Lacey without it coming out as if he was some jerk trying to hit on his best friend’s wife?
“I’m not sure what to say to you,” Scott said.
He always tried to be honest with people, and this was especially true with Lacey. He didn’t want to lay out all his feelings for her, but he had to at least be honest.
“I’d like to say that I’m sorry I kissed you, that I crossed the line of friendship, but I can’t. We both know that I…we were both upset that night, and maybe if I hadn’t experienced that fear of losing you I wouldn’t have kissed you. But I did. And you kissed me back.”
“I didn’t mean to,” Lacey said.
He watched as she picked up another stick from the ground and began raking it across what was left of the fire.
She looked over at him and he couldn’t help but smile. She’d pulled her hair back from her face, and even though he was sure she’d covered herself in sun protectant a scattering of freckles was now sprinkled across her face. Her eyes were bright green tonight, as the light from the embers in the fire reflected off them. He saw that she was working through what he had said.
“But you did. I can’t lie to you and tell you that I regret that, or that I’m sorry for kissing you in the first place. Whether it was fueled by the adrenaline of the night or it was something that would have happened eventually, I don’t know. What I do know is that it was a wonderful kiss and every time I see you I think about it. And don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it too,” he said.
“So where do we go from here?” she asked. She dropped the stick she’d been doodling with and looked up at him.
“I think that’s up to the two of us,” he said. “It could be that it was just a onetime fluke, and if we kiss again neither of us will feel a thing. Or it could be that there is an attraction between us that we are only just now discovering.”
“And how do you suggest we find out which it is?” she asked. She was looking down at the ground now.
“There’s really only one way to find out,” he said.
Putting his hand under her chin, he guided her eyes up to his. She stared back at him, then her expression changed. Her chin tilted up and her eyes filled with determination.
His lips touched hers for the briefest of moments and then she pulled away quickly.
“See—nothing. No fireworks, no angels singing. We’re fine,” she said.
Did she really think she was going to get away with that?
“That doesn’t count. I’ve had longer kisses from my Aunt Jo,” he said. “Now, are we going to do this right or are you too scared to find out the truth?”
“I’m not scared,” she grumbled.
He watched as she stuck that same determined mask on her face again. “Okay, I’m ready.”
He felt like a bull having a red flag waved before him.
The hell with it all.
He moved onto the log where she sat and took her face in both of his hands. Impatience drove his lips down to hers, and before she had time to react he had pushed his hands into her hair. Tearing off her hairband, he caught the thick red mass in his hands. His lips pressed into hers and when she opened her mouth his tongue slid in.
He had no time to wait for her response. He’d spent days thinking of kissing her, and if this was his only chance he would enjoy every moment of it. He felt her hands come up between them and feared she would push him away. When she gripped his shirt and pulled him closer he would have sworn he heard those angels she’d mentioned singing.
His tongue tangled with hers and he felt the need to delve deeper, faster. His hand had found the hem of her shirt before he realized what he was doing. Cool skin filled his hand as it worked its way up her chest.
Lacey released his shirt and covered his hand. Pulling back from her, he was surprised to find that she was almost lying in his lap. He removed his hand from under her shirt and she moved away from him. Though neither of them could talk yet, Lacey’s movement told him all he needed to know.
They sat there in silence as they both fought to fill their lungs with air, and then Lacey stood and walked away from him.
There was no way she could deny the attraction between the two of them, but that didn’t mean she liked it. And could he blame her? They’d had a safe relationship, and they both knew that Lacey liked to play it safe.
The clouds cleared from the sky and the moon shone down through the trees, bathing the ground in a soft light. Bending over the log, he could now see what Lacey had been scratching into the ground.
Ben’s name stared up at him accusingly.
He had to accept that his best friend, the love of Lacey’s life, would always be there between them. She had been married to the best man he had ever known, and Scott would always just be Ben’s best friend to her.
And did he really deserve to have it any other way?
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