Reunited By Their Secret Daughter

She remained on tenterhooks for the rest of her shift waiting to see if Xander would appear in A&E even though she knew his shift must have finished well before hers. The air ambulance helicopter only operated during daylight hours and it was long since dark. Once the helicopter was out of action, road crews took over and Xander would have gone home. The only reason he would have to come to A&E would be to see her.

She was partly relieved and partly disappointed when her shift ended with Xander nowhere in sight.

Xander sat at the bar and nursed his drink as he mulled over the day’s turn of events.

He wasn’t thinking about work or Shania. He was thinking about Chloe. Seeing her had completely blindsided him and had brought back memories he’d thought long buried.

He hadn’t let himself consider the possibility of seeing her again even though he was in London. But was it really such a surprise?

They’d met when she was on a study exchange, working with the flying doctor, and he knew that the London air ambulance was the UK equivalent but he’d had no idea she was working with them. He hadn’t let himself hope that he’d see her again.

But here she was.

It had been almost four years but she’d barely changed. Maybe she wasn’t quite as thin but, if anything, the few extra pounds suited her. She still looked young—she was seven years younger than him so she must only be about twenty-seven—but there was a maturity about her now. In both looks and manner. He saw it in her eyes and he’d seen it in her work today. She’d been confident, assured and capable.

He closed his eyes as he pictured her.

Her thick blond curls had been pulled back into a ponytail today, but he could remember how it had felt to slide his fingers into her tresses, how her hair had felt splayed across his bare chest. How she’d felt lying nestled into his side, how he had felt when she’d taken him in her arms. The cool, silkiness of her skin, the softness of her lips and the smell of shampoo and sun in her hair. He recalled it all.

It had been almost four years but he remembered her as if it was yesterday.

She had been a good distraction, an excellent distraction, at a time of his life when he’d needed distracting.

He’d had a tumultuous two years and he had still been trying to process what had happened when she walked into his life. He’d encountered two of life’s major stresses simultaneously. A serious health scare and a marriage breakdown. His cancer diagnosis had been a shock, his wife’s infidelity equally so. Going through chemotherapy had been confronting and exhausting without the additional stress of a divorce. A divorce that he hadn’t seen coming. Those past two years had left him shattered and numb and he had been struggling to find his new identity in a future that didn’t hold marriage or fatherhood. His dreams had been crushed, leaving him with nothing except his career.

He had been physically and emotionally exhausted when he’d met Chloe. He’d been through the wringer and, although he knew a stranger would look at him and suspect nothing, he felt a shadow of his former self.

She’d made him feel better but she hadn’t been able to mend him.

Chloe had given him a chance to forget about the previous two years. Some respite. She’d allowed him a chance to ignore what had happened but, he could admit this now, that hadn’t helped him to deal with it. Denial and acceptance were two completely different things.

But he did know that the last time he’d been truly happy had been when he’d been with Chloe. She had calmed his soul and brought peace and happiness to his life at a time when he’d desperately needed it. And then taken it all away with her again when she’d left.

He hadn’t anticipated that her departure would leave such a big hole in his life—after all, they’d only known each other for four weeks—but the loneliness he felt had surprised him and it was only after she’d gone that he wondered if he should have confided in her. Could they have had something more if he hadn’t been so emotionally wounded? So damaged.

He would never know.

Confiding in her would have meant talking about what had happened, talking about his feelings, and he wasn’t ready to do that. He was happier in denial. They’d shared a bed but not their minds. His wife, ex-wife, whom he’d known for ten years, had betrayed his trust and he hadn’t been in a position where he could bring himself to trust anyone else with his story. Not even a virtual stranger.

He’d needed time.

And time was something they didn’t have then.

He may have denied them the opportunity of getting to know each other better but he consoled himself with the knowledge that Chloe was only ever in Australia temporarily. He told himself that nothing he could have said or done would have changed that but it didn’t stop him from sometimes wishing that things had turned out differently.

They’d had no plans for a future together, although he had found himself imagining one, but he knew he wasn’t in a position to offer her anything permanent. The future. Permanency. They were words that he’d been afraid to consider. His fate was still uncertain. He’d enjoyed Chloe’s company but he’d known, in his soul, that he wasn’t what she needed even while he thought she might be exactly what he desired.

But he had to sort himself out first. He had to find some level of acceptance for what had happened to him. To his life. He couldn’t move forward until he’d done that.

He didn’t know what his future was going to be, so instead of searching for her he’d gone searching the world, looking for a substitute. Looking for something to fill the space she’d left behind.

He’d thought he would find something to fill that void but today, seeing her again, he wondered whether his search had been in vain. Could anything fill that void or could it only be filled by someone?

She’d been the perfect tonic for him at one of the lowest points of his life but what about now?

Was he in a better place?

Four years on and he’d thought he was better but his feelings today took him by surprise. He’d felt an extraordinary sense of calm when he’d seen her today. As if, for the first time in years, he could breathe deeply and fully.

He’d considered asking her out for a coffee or a drink but had hesitated at the last minute. He needed some time to understand what this chance meeting could mean. Was it just that? A chance. It didn’t need to mean anything. He didn’t need to act on it. He needed time to digest this situation. To figure it out.

Being in the same place again was just a coincidence and he didn’t believe in coincidences.

But he couldn’t deny that it had been good to see her again.

He swallowed a mouthful of beer as he recalled the first time he’d laid eyes on her.

He’d been sitting by himself at the bar in the Palace Hotel in Broken Hill—some things never changed, he thought wryly, although he had been waiting for a colleague. He’d been drinking too much, blocking out the previous two years. He’d already had one beer and was on to his second when she walked in.

The late-afternoon sun had silhouetted her in the doorway of the hotel and her golden curls had shone like a halo around her head. She was slim and elegant with a dancer’s posture and a graceful walk.

He’d sat, mesmerised, as she’d walked towards him. He hadn’t stopped to wonder why she was heading his way; at the time it had made perfect sense, as if his mind was willing her to come to him, as if she could read his thoughts. It was only when she joined him at the bar that he noticed that Jane, a Royal Flying Doctor flight nurse and one of his colleagues, was with her.

Jane introduced them and the news that this vision, Chloe, was going to be working with him for the next month was the best thing he’d heard in a long, long time. From that moment on he was scarcely aware of other colleagues and patrons coming and going around them. He was struck, not only by Chloe’s natural beauty but by the joy that seemed to radiate from her. He’d been enthralled by her smile, her lips, the light in her brown eyes and her exuberance.

He had no idea of how long they’d stayed in the bar. All he knew was that he wasn’t leaving until she did and eventually it was just the two of them, alone. One by one the others had left but Chloe had stayed on and, therefore, so had he.

She didn’t have anywhere she had to be.

She’d flirted with him. Touched him on the arm. The thigh. Playing with her glorious hair. He thought he was too old for her, he was about to turn thirty but he’d felt ten years more than that; he was old but not so old that he didn’t recognise the signs of mutual attraction.

He’d wondered, briefly, if it was a bad idea to let her know he was interested too but he hadn’t wanted to resist. Hadn’t been able to. Chloe had been very convincing and he hadn’t fought against her for too long. He had behaved for one night but they both knew what was going to happen.

He remembered the anticipation.

Being with Chloe was the first thing he’d looked forward to for months.

He had been working with the Royal Flying Doctor Service for six months. It had long been a dream of his that had been squashed by his ex-wife, but when he’d finally made it to the service he’d felt a sense of relief that he was starting to put the past behind him rather than the sense of excitement he’d always hoped for. Chloe turned out to be the first bit of excitement he’d had in a long time. They’d had a brief but passionate affair. His head wasn’t in the right place for anything more and she was only in town for a month, but it had been a bright point in an otherwise dark period of his life.

Their affair had burned bright. Their chemistry overshadowing conversation. Chloe was young, carefree, on a working holiday; she wasn’t interested in anything deep and meaningful. He was jaded; he didn’t want to dampen her enthusiasm for life with his tales of woe. That wasn’t what she needed. It wasn’t what he needed. He wanted to forget about his troubles and she allowed him to do that.

She was addictive.

Restorative.

And then she was gone.

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