She miss you

January

To foster loneliness? Who will take responsibility? Not to indulge whims, but to teach them to put them brick by brick step by step. Who would dare? He will tell you how to behave, answer, be silent, nod, cook, smile sincerely, and not for the right time… Who will implant self-esteem, especially in case of falls, self-respect? By giving them the ability to come up with their own games, worthy of all the way. To endure a pause of silence, a deficit, creating boredom, not for vulgar presentations, but simply not to be trampled, devalued and other synonyms…

I have been spoiled since childhood. All for the sake of that wild fear inside – not to be left alone, grains of sand continue to fall to the bottom, burning out depression. Surges of kindness, with the forgiveness of external cold, gather their fingers in anticipation of an answer similar in state to the given one. Illusory and chilly hopes for communication at a distance with those same steel inner cables. Again about the rake, at the wrong time, on the other end – he has drunken laughter, ringing to smithereens, beats of music, does not go with the prevailing colors at the moment. Evening. Street. The wind shamelessly in obsessive attempts at vulgar acquaintance. Snow illumination. Again steel under the left flashes, a check for a vessel of astringent, a pedal to the floor, a diagonal pedal – slammed shut, dropped wherever it went, the pop of a cork, the sounds of launched content for entertainment. Gulp, gulp, gulp with greed. Pupils automatically immerse themselves in other people’s events on the blue monitor. Distracting from your own, carrying you into other people’s stories, allowing you to be an outside contemplative without touching. Broadcast.

It happens to someone. Strong in the plot, it is a debt to become cloyingly sweet, allowing yourself to be kicked by phrases, intonation, look, more often, in fact, mediocrity, uneducated, pumped. In response, he politely asks, as if apologizing in advance for the restaurant he chose. She is hysterical, does not accept objections. At most, she dines in canteens, in the evenings with fast food in her arms, in a moment she grabs the opportunity to be rude, stomping second-hand. Demanding a dish, guided not by the combination, but exclusively by the highest cetlik, blurting out unconsciously. The vulgar ill-manneredness of the peeping from her favorite, the one with whom she is signed among other millions, affects. Not worse, not better, but a step closer… For how long? Is it allowed? After all, someone has to remove the wet reins to cultivate gray permissiveness. As soon as it is boorish, the cattle of dirt emerges.

Here are the last drops, without hurrying – with a tongue, a little drunk. A sandwich with a black one. Sleep, sleep among a dozen downy girlfriends, wrapped up. Quiet, quiet. Cozy.

Slammed. “I understood less and less of what you read. I understand, I understand, but I rarely look upset in the mirror. More often than not, there is no time. Online brainwashers are fighting for attention, not forgetting to regularly issue checks. The ocean with its servants still calms me, disperses the clouds for me, stroking me with the sun. In the morning, I run with the gold of coastal beaches in headphones along my patron. He plays with me, flirts with the surf, foamy waves, soiling me in the sand, after kissing me, washes me off immediately. Another dog with sagging sides, with a sincere look, feeding, now my personal friend of the ocean is devoted. Single foreign owners serve physics. They acquire sand time. I play the game they offered for privileges, I slowly add fat to fat. Not tenderness, not deep, so surfing on the surface. I also drink red, distract, forget, switch myself inside to a strong one. Well, how are you? What do you have? It’s cold? January. Unashamed. Love? I really, really want to be in your arms, that little one. Tell. There was a surge of emotions, at the moment I was already ordering, a one-sided exit from the game, throw and fly, fell asleep. Maybe it was right? Will you come? I kiss you. I missed you so much.”

Slowly…

Morning motifs. Working days. Sleepy city. The avenues are in disrepair. Waking up a little. Stretching. French motifs. Everything is familiar. Coffee. The smell of croissants for breakfast. The windows are permeated with cold. Observers. Not in a hurry. Allowing others to dive thoughtlessly. Not rushing in action.

Slowly, noticing how he treats his father, with all his shortcomings. With dirty soles, evicting them to public ones. Accepting payment for any action offered out of courtesy. Slowly, noticing how he treats the dog, with all the ostentatious joy, taking advantage of free access, with the opportunity to put the cute in the grid for public approval. Taking for granted the maintenance of a four-legged animal, as if not trying to create and build a common thing in advance. There are no complaints, only a statement of the lack of upbringing. Without hurrying noticing how she melted under the injustice of her mother, manipulating pity and aggression. Slowly noticing how I was drawn to sharing content with fickle, wind-filled ones, dancing, bending, imagining myself among imaginary friends, plunging into pink delusions. Slowly, noticing how shamelessly I did not know how to defend what was entrusted to me, in the next attempts to please other predators, to wag my shabby tail, in fears of my own thoughts, and returning my dear, entrusted with dents, in shabby, in broken. The corrupt character of the servant girl is stupid. Admitting the possibility of ugly kicking those who, with sincere hugs, imbued with an understanding of the essence – obligation, thoughtfulness in actions, reading pages from past experience. A little less modesty, again abandoned with leaves, powdered with snow, more ice needles in the heart. Loud vows, pronounced at the moment of your own confidence, about your own devotion, about choosing a future path without a companion, are dispelled in moments, predictably meeting on services. Fenders tend to get wet and heavy, especially in such a climate. At times, it is like a dove cowering in a passage. Nothing of his own was created, everything was next to each other, from the barrel, allowing himself to disdainfully blurt out words in colors about the first steps of his companion, cutting up the helpless blanks with criticism. Who is she? Who allowed it? A little more – and the predator will tear apart in an instant, protecting its created, still so small. Tears, drops, girlish resentments with a vulgar lack of education. Hush, hush… No one will say anything in response, in the past. They just silently cross out the name from the notebook, deleting everything possible that previously connected. By gluing the label, it is insatiable, alien, vulgar. How could it be otherwise? To wander again, begging for ghostly huskies. Refusals are pouring in like a fan, sand ones are counting down in selfish indifference. Continuing his winding path, going through small ones in the complete darkness of loneliness. It is difficult to try to please with each new one, to tie up any for the future, having a difficult backpack with past experience. More and more often more harshly, more often more intolerant, more and more often less energy to laugh at other people’s stupid jokes. Without hurrying, noticing, the inner state methodically with a scalpel, more and more distant with his own indifference, without interest in the absolute, which feeds, as if a fleeting view of a short film, not for repeated attention. I am covered with a vacuum, comforting myself with a different dawn in colors, with other possibilities. Crowds of settling in their own caves, surrounding themselves with understandable, predictable and comfortable ones.

Everyday. Crises in the mind. Mid-daylight. The winter sun hurries those in a hurry. Recruitment, connection with the similar. Conditioned. Sat down – everything is normal, the beginning is about nothing, as before. Boring with summer burdens the stories about vacation in the tropical, comparing the former one by the ocean. Boredom in it is like cobwebs. Discussed, skipped, squeezed, betrayed sarcasm drops. Emptiness. Exchanged prickly. Wave of text, following about the affairs of this and that, floundering prospects. Having exhausted the possible. Smoothly transferring to the excellent accessibility of a cramped, million-strong metropolis.

Slammed. “Not about me? And I’m flying again. I fly, flapping my wings, I am bored for a long time with people I meet, in moments I expose their truth, the grayness of their true perception is boring. Sadly. But my flight begins to amuse me, I compare myself to a bird. A little difficulty, but so easy to get away from the dirt of the cold. I took it from the window. I want to drink with gas and sleep. And then watch the flaps of the snow-white wing. It’s time, it’s time… I will take my time getting ready – they will announce soon. How are you there? Smooth ice. With a minus? It’s cold? Maybe you’ll come? Come, take the blond dog and come, the ocean and I miss you. Let’s take a dip. A star in beach gold. Let’s indulge. We’ll drown with kisses. We’ll joke endlessly and crumple the snow-white. I’m dreaming. Again. Butterflies are fluttering there.

November

It blows cold. It pours, mingling with ice floes. It hits mercilessly on the weathered cheeks. It freezes in attempts to extinguish it. The repetition of meaningless stories is typical. It circles, it circles abandoned, the last, faded, from that autumn. Greedily under the outer collar, turning the heat into goose. More often, more often you don’t want to wake up in the cold. It’s slippery on the frozen surface, it blows cold. make their way. The mood is unbridled, at an unbalanced gallop, with sharpened horseshoes, with a rubber smile of politeness. Still abandoned, with her own fingers collapsing the roofs of the beginning of comfort, also boorishly cold, indifferent to strangers. By provoking only predatory things in response. Other characters of his closet are for those others, a little more well-mannered, a little more restrained, containing slices of affection. Appearance in the absolute is secondary, until the first sheet, then interest exclusively in the arranged, the presence of inner content.

Stone abodes flash in greetings, with their invented exclusive energy. In attempts to pretentiously change the incompatible, applying the theory of probability to others, puttying the sharp corners of aggression with silence and feigned politeness. The habit of sweeping off the counter exclusively what nourishes at the moment, so maybe it should be? Sucking out the remnants of warm energy, other people’s delights, returning to the silence of the den. Comforting myself with loneliness among the many positive and crystal-shattered on the occasion deeper. As long as there is enough air, climb after the drip with a constant rush of happiness, fun, admiration. I don’t wait any longer. But… I’m waiting, waiting, like a notorious, the last fool of romance. Alternating his vulgarity, kneading on the basis of implanted tenderness. A letter from the past, missed, on the box. Who writes such personal things now? “Initially, I did not believe her, imagine, I did not believe a single word. Smiling at windy hysterics, understanding, he tries to conquer his territory by force, exclusively by all methods. Putting on a fake face made of plastic. He smiled at the explanations, after midnight, barely on his feet, with a broken heel, she could hardly tie her tongue. Hardening, tightening the inner seat belts, holding back the pain at the lungs. Fragments of phrases, stories one after another, repeating each other, not coinciding with the previous ones, it is difficult to absorb lies, requires patience. Stepping on the larynx, in agony, without oxygen, returning in memory, cherishing the period when a piece settled inside, providing unlimited admission, let in a lump of her little. Warm furry hugs, and hell began. Now he could not just watch – he was tired of someone else’s party. Without ceremony in methods, texts, unfortunately, she was disgustingly brought up. Someone has to… Attempts to correct and show immediately, for the sake of cause and effect, to give the opportunity to feel, living, dipping, demonstrating by example. When one-on-one with oneself is clearer and tougher, without pity, on the mechanics. As soon as we are in the environment of loved ones, we allow pity, first of all, to ourselves, and they are in torrents, hail, uncontrollably. By analogy, how painful it is for everyone without exception when dirt oozes with actions, it is not so unfair – crying, tears, screams, the sunset rolls in.”

Slammed. “My friend, a bottle of grape tart and a glass – I will drink red. How are you doing? Alone inside? Does variety shows circle variegated? How tough it is inside. Without words. Happens. It’s quiet at the airport now. Few are in a hurry.”

Smells

Such a mood, I don’t perceive aliens from a different perspective lately. As if pulled out of childhood, breaking pink ones, no longer pulls into the circus. Clowns are no longer the same and do not joke so much, and the jokes are delusional, the outfit is shabby, and I already read inner sadness, there is no energy, they work out the hours, so previously loved. Sometimes you feel sad from new glasses. Developing the negatives of the photos. Share. I am interested in successful cases of perception for the repetition of sensations. Advise. Text, text, requirements, text, text, directing to the desired perception, gradually imposing convenient foundations with rules. Let us take care of the arrangement with expenses, the education of our future ones, and leave the fate of the hunter to the strong.

Irresponsibly trusting, they raise completely different people, imprisoned for their own interests, losing control, falling into hysterics, calling on the strong to impose their own rules. Out of curiosity, touching on the lines of history, the queens raise rude receivers, demolished from the throne as soon as the lion cub gets stronger, securing the receipt of indefinite allowance. in no way compatible with reality. Regular. Axioms. To preserve, to be in sufficient ignorance of thoughts, words, behavior, without trying to delve into the internal, but to use the proposed external, even if it is played for you, is not the point. Receiving tenderness in the moment, soft words with the palm of your hand, paying enough for service, not forgetting to leave a tip, not counting on more. Desires burst out, as before, to enjoy the delights experienced, soaking up energy, exchanges of what is said, lips are real. Exclusively focused on males. And mirror in the desire to be liked. Content that does not carry a pinch of reality, everything is light in statements, but emptiness in essence. Interest exclusively in the brilliant, compliments expressed, presence among luxury. Trusting by mistake. Penetrating, sucking data for analysis, accumulating only to overthrow. The bottom line is that initially no one is affectionate, it’s just that the situation in the moment made you bend the ego as a payment for being next to you – and where to put the predatory? The strongest difference is in the presence, where from ten to fifteen – everything else disappears, collapses, no longer nourishes.

Slammed. “Announced. Pore. Disheveled. Man, the bill, please, the whiskey is also mine. Count faster, boy. I’m in a hurry. I’m hungry. Tastes, smells are not the same. In the shower with hard jets. How are you? What’s new? A little stiffer inside. Stretched. I’ll be glad to see you, as before. I want a change of time. Let’s sit silently, a little. So. It’s surging. And around they are scurrying, scurrying in search of the ghostly. Splashing vulgar. I’m not a stranger to you, am I? Yes, Fool. But not someone else’s? It was empty inside, a little. Washed. This happens to me occasionally, I give up, sink to the bottom myself. Inky emptiness. The silence is dead. Nobody. So scary and calm inside. Relaxed hands, feet in the sand, immersion. Awhile. Pushes me out again. Fly in. Breathe a little fresh into me. Tired. Miss. I want to snuggle silently. Hear? Lips miss you.”

Hanging legs

Rain, snow, a mishmash, changing during the day. The wind is light piercing, the sun strokes with its rays, indulges, flirts with inconstancy. The lips are bright. The tones on the cheeks are styled. Heels are unattainable. A chinchilla is thrown over it. Pedal to the screech of rubber. The bits are completely unscrewed. Move. Sticking to yourself with friends with fake, nodding zero likes, not investing a single bit of energy with honesty, splashing with delight, miring in the fog of your own importance. At the first need for help, renouncing employment, massage, business trips, urgent meetings, global meetings, as empty in content as the unsubscriber. Offers are hung on poles, to the shelter of the unbalanced, with inflated about their own, financially dependent, with shuffling postscripts about the wishes of physical parameters. Enslaved to unicorns, dumbing down the runners with fictional content, forcing them to take out the last thing that at least a little distracts from the corner, to remember that they are just children in the shells of adults. Often, without a purpose, with foam, they defend exclusively other people’s interests, swallowing the remains of crumbs that have not been harvested, in order to drag the tired, amuse themselves with happy other people’s fakes. Difficult. Want. Friday evening, playful, as in childhood, captivated funny. The main thing is to find interest in similar ones, captivating with variety, exciting playing, and playing from the heart, so that in the evening without backs and in a moment you can sleep. Like every game, it doesn’t matter at all, in fact, nothing changes globally from the created movement, not to mention the content splashed out in excitement. Watching how each creature in hunger or in luxury brings humanity, mired in greedy boredom, closer to the loan.

Friday. Distract. Restaurant. Noise. Hum. Nods. Intertwined with the connections of a small polis. New meeting. Staten. Well-groomed within the establishment. The degree affects, weaving phrases with his tongue in an attempt to impress. Sorting out the next rubble of rooms, the sewage collector talked about his sincerity, impromptu reading the lines created at breakfast. a feeling of gray cold. Politely. Changing it to the usual old one. Another meeting with the habits of playing in your own way, purring for no more than 1-2-3 nights of continuous, underwater, deep, satiating your predatory to the fullest, and then it is difficult to hide the present. Distancing. It is impossible on stage without rest, you need a sip of the usual smoke spoiled in those very lungs. Yousmoke your pack of crumpled. Skip a couple of jokes of fitting, similar to the answer, smiling at the similar former habitual inhabitants. The price, sorry, is to drop all the things comfortably planned, and give your dedicated heart to his. great… preserved, sifting into more thoroughbred, in abundance. Having affairs, but not so deeply absorbed, immersing herself to the slightest particle of his mood, catching, as if an expert in perfumery, the slightest shades of mood smells. Exalting them above others. In any case, any next torn flap slightly pulls the remaining heat, but it does not hurt so much. Soberly, without pink drawings of his own watercolor of his warm colors. Yes, ill-mannered, especially in a rage, with the dirty boards of a little girl boarded up inside, with huge trusting eyelashes. Not knowing where to rush when in a vacuum and there is nothing to breathe, continuing to circle in fun stretched on merry-go-rounds, hastily assembled with their own hands. I want a shelter with my wild, shaggy, understanding without words. The market is absolutely filled with sharp impudence competitors, those who are more fond of that predatory, with his aggression, subduing, cynicism, hanging with flasks of sarcasm. How many broken birds need one with a grin, for protection, stupid attempts to throw their bridle, to climb, hanging their legs.

Slammed. “Buddy, bring the bill. For whom? Who will understand? Not all of them, the lines fall out of awareness. Perhaps I need to re-read it, but, like them, I have no time, I am hungry for quick emotions. Champagne, caviar, chocolate – all on me. Announced. Soon. Where is the passport? It seems that I put it myself. Rude. Sharp. Talentless. I spit other people’s phrases. Sarcasm rivers. And with whom to be polite? I read yours, swallowing, thinking, as in the network, in my own attempts to scan the mood. I missed you insanely. Holding my breath. Drowning. Howling. Limbs failing. Senseless. Fool. I need you. With my own… to 2 m, close, large. I want, I want so much to sob, hiding with the top of my head, a little girl. I want to… to make faces like a monkey. To joke with the author’s, to laugh sincerely. Prepare. Kiss with tenderness. Let me send buns. Wake up with an early. Jog at dawn by the ocean. I really missed you so much. To a frenzy. Do you hear? Fly in. Take me, stupid. I want to climb up, chatter, hanging my legs down.”

Little fool

The snow sweeps, beats on the warmth, accompanying the tongues of cold, pierces. Testing with enviable periodicity for strength, creeping up with caresses, the wild wag good-naturedly their tails. Something went wrong, something was not enough, a lack of sincerity, a mishmash of bodies in relationships. And in the past, he was as loyal as possible, only indifference inside did not allow him to provide a response. They brought me up, forcing me to read, not rushing to weigh, I quickly get bored with the regularity of the right words, I want delights, songs, champagne foam, dance, dance with my eyes shut, not letting a single thought with the sober ones. Dirty soles on the clean, devalued by their own actions and attitude. The bass thunders, reverberating in the lungs, the body automatically writes out the learned movements. Exalted by weakness, allowing you to slap the ignorant others with the author’s sarcasm. Her own opinion has long been lost, she is replaced by a breeze among the important ones, there is no foundation, she is forced to bend her back behind candy wrappers on plastic, at the same time trying to subordinate admirers to her capriciousness for free. Continuing to row, row, row, gushing with his own importance. Losing sincere devotees along the way, buying temporary ones on sale for half the price. The smell of the flowers given, sorting, bringing to the headboard those that are field with sincerity. Fatigue. Rare attempts to put on display the worn-out external happiness, and then, sticking in the evening, scrupulously counting empty likes. Quoting lines exclusively from others, spied on, laziness and the limitation of the vocabulary to the lace of one’s own thoughts. Confusion among the internal, anarchy of the characters, alternately captivating power over the gray. No tranquility, absent in the absolute. Amusing the hostess with new entertainments, like jesters, crushing each other through each other. Silence. The next domineering try to test, taming with gold, pulling up, luring with windy compliments, alternating inanimate trinkets. Boredom mortal, malignant boredom, requires a holiday yesterday, and today it is aimed at warmth in a bear’s embrace, tomorrow it is hungry again from the lack of public demand. Gray insomnia is mixed with a howl of hunger. Others of the former ones turned off the tubes with oxygen, immersing themselves in the creation for years. And who will pamper you? Moving away from the shamelessly predatory, having had enough of night fireworks. Launching a short-term menagerie for the night with vulgarity, until dawn, after seeing off without coffee, slamming and again in my own star until late, indulging, I liked it so before, I was as disgusted as possible. Achievements, names, nicknames are not recorded. Getting out, squeezing, maneuvering sharply, occasionally oncoming to the oncoming road to wake up, plunging into superficial companies. Understanding the meaning of each flutter of the outer threads of the webs, the nets are scattered like traps on the branches. Distracted from the tinsel of the air. Fatigue is felt. Fear of age is increasingly constrained.