The World’s Best Football Jokes

‘Don’t be silly!’ said the trialist. ‘If I did that, I wouldn’t be able to stand up, would I?’

The rivalry between Celtic and Rangers in Scotland is well known. A Celtic fan looking for trouble went up to a perfect stranger in a pub in Sauchiehall Street and shouted in his ear: ‘To hell with the Rangers!’

The stranger looked puzzled. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about, bud,’ he said. ‘I’m an American from Houston, Texas.’