Power and submission: unlocking the Mind's hidden potential
When you start unpacking your fears, the first thing you notice is discomfort. It feels like you’re uncovering something forbidden that should have remained buried. But this is precisely the moment when something important happens: you realize that fears are not walls but doors. They seem insurmountable only until you start opening them.
For example, the fear of being vulnerable. You’re afraid that power will make you harsh, and submission will make you weak. But when you start reassessing these roles, you see that power is not about aggression but about responsibility, about managing yourself. And submission is not about losing freedom but about the ability to trust and let go. You realize that vulnerability is not weakness but a path to true connection with yourself and others.
On a neurological level, reassessing fear activates the prefrontal cortex, responsible for mindfulness and emotion management. According to the American Journal of Psychiatry (2021), mindful exploration of your fears reduces amygdala activity by 25%, decreasing the "fight or flight" response. This allows for more balanced decision-making and greater resilience, even in stressful situations.
But reassessing fear is not just biology. It’s a transformation of perception. When you start questioning where your fears came from, whose voices told you to be afraid, you notice that many of them have nothing to do with you. These are fears imposed by society, family, culture. They are not yours. And you can choose whether to listen to them or not.
What happens when you stop running? You begin to see that fears are not enemies. They are signals of where you are not yet free. Fears show you the areas you’ve always avoided. By reassessing them, you open new paths. You stop fearing power because you understand that you can use it to create, to manage your life. You stop fearing submission because you realize that trust doesn’t make you weak but makes you strong.
When you reassess your fears, you stop living within constraints. You start asking yourself new questions: "What can I do with this?" "How can I use this for my growth?" You no longer react automatically; you choose. And that is the key difference. You choose who to be, what to feel, how to live.
What awaits you if you decide to reassess your fears? Freedom. True freedom. The freedom to be yourself. You’ll begin to see that your fears are not a sentence but potential. They are what can make you stronger. You’ll understand that the fear of power is the fear of your own strength. And the fear of submission is the fear of trust. And when you deal with them, you’ll stop being afraid of yourself. And that means you’ll become free.
Part 1: The Brain Under Control
Chapter 1: What Happens in Your Head When You Give Up Control
Neural Circuits of Dominance: Dopamine and Oxytocin
When you enter the dynamics of power or submission, your brain initiates complex biological processes that turn these roles into sources of pleasure and emotional stability. This is not just a psychological experience – it is a neurochemical dance in which two hormones play the leading roles: dopamine and oxytocin. Together, they shape your response to control and trust, explaining why these states can be so attractive and liberating.
Dopamine: The Hormone of Motivation and Reward
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter responsible for motivation, anticipation, and the feeling of reward. When you take control, your brain rewards you with a surge of dopamine. This activates the reward system, giving you a sense of elevation, confidence, and satisfaction. You feel like you’re doing something right, that the world is in your hands. Power becomes not only an act of dominance but also a source of pleasure that comes from within.
Interestingly, submission, contrary to stereotypes, also stimulates the dopamine system. When you let go of control, the brain interprets this as a reduction in cognitive load. Cortisol levels – the stress hormone – decrease, while dopamine, on the contrary, rises, rewarding you for the ability to trust. This state resembles the feeling of peace after prolonged tension when you allow yourself to simply exist.
Research published in the Journal of Neuroscience (2017) shows that dopamine levels increase by 25-30% during both experiences of power and conscious submission. Both states activate the striatum – the brain’s reward center – reducing anxiety and enhancing a sense of satisfaction.
Oxytocin: The Hormone of Trust and Closeness
If dopamine is responsible for pleasure, oxytocin governs connection and trust. This hormone is often called the "love hormone," but its role is much broader. When you are in a situation of submission, your brain releases oxytocin, helping you feel calm and secure. You allow yourself to let go of control and trust your partner, which reduces the hyperactivity of the amygdala – the brain’s fear center.
Oxytocin also plays an important role in dominance. When you take responsibility for another person, this hormone stimulates empathy, care, and a sense of mutual connection. Thus, power ceases to be an act of suppression and transforms into a way of creating deep social bonds.
A study published in Nature Neuroscience (2018) indicates that oxytocin levels increase by 35-40% when a person is in a trusting relationship. This explains why both power and submission can bring a sense of emotional comfort if they occur in the context of mutual agreement.
How the Brain Works in These States
When you assume the role of power or submission, three key brain areas are activated:
Prefrontal cortex: Responsible for analyzing the situation and making conscious decisions. It helps you determine when to take control and when to let go.
Amygdala: Usually responsible for anxiety, it calms down thanks to oxytocin and dopamine, allowing you to feel safe.
Striatum: The reward center amplifies the feeling of pleasure, strengthening your connection with a partner or situation.
These processes make power and submission not just social roles but states that literally reprogram your brain, helping you feel confident and stable.
These neurochemical mechanisms explain why power and submission evoke such strong emotions. It’s not just a play of roles but a biological need that helps you reduce stress, strengthen connections, and discover new points of mindfulness. Power provides a sense of strength and control; submission brings a sense of trust and safety. Together, they become tools that help you better understand yourself and your interaction with the world.
Dopamine and oxytocin are the keys to understanding why the dynamics of power and submission can be not only enjoyable but also beneficial. They activate reward systems, reduce anxiety, and enhance emotional awareness. These states give you the opportunity to look at yourself from a new perspective, see your boundaries, and find harmony between control and trust. Power and submission are not opposites but two sides of the same process that open the path to inner freedom.
The Effect of Letting Go of Control on Emotional Awareness
When you let go of control, it is not a sign of weakness, as we are often led to believe, but a conscious act capable of transforming your inner world. Relinquishing excessive control over a situation relieves your brain of a massive load, freeing space for a deeper understanding of your emotions and experiences. It is not defeat but the beginning of a new form of freedom.
Think about how often you have been exhausted from trying to keep everything under control. When you are in a state of hyper-management, your brain works to the limit. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for analysis and planning, becomes overloaded, cortisol levels – the stress hormone – rise, and all this robs you of the ability to perceive the present. You don’t notice your feelings, you don’t hear yourself, because all your attention is consumed by external circumstances. But once you release this burden, your brain switches to entirely different tasks. You no longer fight reality – you begin to cooperate with it.
Letting go of control reduces cognitive load, allowing your mind to shift to more subtle processes. The amygdala, often a source of anxiety, calms down. The parasympathetic nervous system activates, creating a sense of peace and relaxation. This process not only reduces stress levels but also opens access to deep emotions you may have long suppressed. You begin to see yourself more clearly, feel more acutely, and understand your desires and fears.
Oxytocin and dopamine play a special role here – two hormones that literally reprogram your perception. Oxytocin, the hormone of trust and closeness, helps you feel secure when you relinquish control. You stop fearing losing yourself and begin enjoying the sense of connection – with a person, a situation, or yourself. Dopamine, in turn, amplifies the sense of reward, allowing you to feel satisfaction from stopping the struggle and allowing yourself to simply exist.
Scientific studies confirm this transformation. According to Frontiers in Psychology (2020), letting go of control reduces cortisol levels by 35%, while activation of the insular cortex, associated with emotional perception, increases by 30%. This is not just a physiological process – it is a transition to a new way of interacting with yourself and the world.
Letting go of control doesn’t mean you are giving up. It means you stop trying to keep everything under your influence, trusting yourself and those around you. It’s like in relationships: instead of insisting on your way, you allow your partner to make decisions, opening yourself to a new depth of trust. Or at work: you delegate tasks to colleagues, freeing up energy for what truly matters.
This practice not only reduces stress but also brings emotional awareness. You begin to notice what was previously hidden behind the noise of constant control: your desires, feelings, weaknesses. You stop living in the future or past and return to the present moment, where true peace is born.
When you let go of control, you don’t become weaker – you become freer. You stop being a slave to the need to control everything and discover a new way of interacting with the world: through trust, mindfulness, and inner calm. This is not a loss of strength but a new form of it that makes you stronger, more resilient, and closer to yourself.
Why the Brain "Enjoys" Submission
When you relinquish control and allow yourself to submit, your brain begins to function differently. This state, often viewed as weakness or loss of freedom, actually triggers complex neurochemical processes that bring a deep sense of calm and pleasure. Submission is not a defeat but a path to restoring inner balance, allowing the brain to reduce tension, activate areas responsible for trust and pleasure, and gain emotional clarity.
Biologically, it all starts with hormones. Oxytocin, the hormone of trust and closeness, plays a key role in this process. When you let go of control and allow someone else to take responsibility, the brain releases oxytocin, helping you feel safe. This hormone reduces the activity of the amygdala – the part of the brain that triggers anxiety responses. You no longer fear judgment or losing yourself. Instead, you feel anxiety recede, replaced by relaxation and acceptance.
This process is closely linked to dopamine – the hormone of reward. Submission is perceived by the brain as relief: you lift the burden of constant management, and the dopamine system rewards you with a sense of satisfaction. Research from the Journal of Neuroscience (2019) shows that dopamine levels increase by 20-25% when a person consciously assumes a submissive role, especially if it involves trust and mutual agreement. At the same time, cortisol levels – the stress hormone – drop by 30%, allowing the body and mind to recover.
But why does this happen? Constantly striving to keep everything under control is exhausting. The brain spends enormous energy analyzing, predicting, and dealing with uncertainties. When you release this load, the parasympathetic nervous system, responsible for relaxation and recovery, activates. You no longer expend resources fighting the world. Instead, you find a point of calm where you can simply be.
Submission also has deep evolutionary roots. In ancient communities, the ability to submit to more experienced or stronger members of the group helped ensure survival. This reduced the risk of conflicts, strengthened social bonds, and provided protection. These mechanisms are embedded in neural circuits, making submission not only an adaptive strategy but also a source of biological pleasure. The brain perceives submission as a way to reduce threat, enhancing feelings of safety and belonging.
In trusting relationships, this effect is amplified. When you consciously allow another person to take on the role of leader, you don’t lose yourself but instead enrich your emotional experience. Oxytocin helps you establish connection, and dopamine enhances the joy of releasing tension. Instead of fighting for control, you begin to delve into your feelings, becoming more open and receptive to the present moment.
Submission is not a rejection of freedom but a new aspect of it. It allows you to let go of the illusion of total control and trust the process. This state enhances your mindfulness, helping you better understand your desires, fears, and boundaries. You no longer expend energy battling the situation but find points of harmony within it.
This is why the brain "enjoys" submission. This state reduces stress levels, activates pleasure centers, and creates deep emotional connections – with yourself, another person, or a situation. It is not weakness but a way to release unnecessary burdens, restore strength, and feel part of something greater. In submission, there is no defeat, only freedom to be yourself.
Chapter 2: The Hormones of Power
Testosterone and Oxytocin: Who Dominates Whom?
When it comes to testosterone and oxytocin, it might seem like these two hormones represent opposite poles of human nature. One symbolizes power, the drive for dominance, and victory; the other – care, attachment, and trust. However, the reality is much more complex. Instead of being antagonists, testosterone and oxytocin work together, creating a balance between strength and empathy, which makes power not destructive but conscious and creative.
Testosterone, often referred to as the hormone of male strength, is present in both men and women. It stimulates the drive for leadership, the desire to take responsibility, and the willingness to overcome challenges. Increased levels of testosterone enhance the activity of the prefrontal cortex and amygdala, providing feelings of confidence, motivation, and determination. You feel ready to manage and win.
But testosterone has a downside. When its levels become too high, it can amplify aggression, impulsivity, and risk-taking tendencies. Without the balancing influence of other hormones, such as oxytocin, testosterone turns power into a tool of suppression rather than creation. This explains why excessive "hormonal power" often leads to conflict and destruction if not channeled constructively.
This is where oxytocin, known as the "trust hormone," comes into play. It acts very differently, fostering connection and care. When oxytocin levels rise, the activity of the amygdala, associated with anxiety, decreases. You become calmer, more empathetic, and open. This hormone helps transform power from an act of suppression into a tool of support, where leadership is built on trust rather than fear.
However, oxytocin is not only important for those who follow. Leaders with high levels of oxytocin use their power differently. They become mentors and inspirers rather than dictators. Studies from Social Neuroscience (2018) show that high oxytocin levels reduce the likelihood of aggressive behavior by 40%, even when testosterone levels remain high. This creates a more balanced leadership style where power is used for creation rather than destruction.
At first glance, these two hormones may seem like opposites, but in reality, they work together. Testosterone provides the energy for action, while oxytocin gives direction to that energy. Together, they create harmony where the pursuit of power is complemented by empathy and care. This balance makes leadership not only effective but also sustainable because it is built on mutual trust and respect.
Scientific data confirm the importance of this harmony. According to research published in the Journal of Behavioral Endocrinology (2020), a combination of high testosterone and high oxytocin increases the likelihood of successful leadership by 45% and reduces conflicts by 30%. This proves that the true strength of power lies not in its harshness but in its ability to combine motivation with empathy.
Ultimately, testosterone and oxytocin are not rivals but partners. They help make power conscious rather than destructive, controlled rather than despotic. True strength arises from their interaction: testosterone pushes for action, while oxytocin guides it, helping you see not only your goals but also the needs of those around you. Power built on this harmony becomes not an act of dominance but an art of creation.
Euphoria Through Trust: How Power Triggers Endorphins
When you assume power, your brain begins to function as if it has received a reward signal. This state is not just about control or responsibility – it’s about euphoria born from within. Dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin create a unique chemical reaction, turning management into a process that brings pleasure. However, the key to this state is trust: in yourself and in those around you. It is trust that makes power not only effective but also harmonious.
Dopamine, the hormone of motivation, triggers a chain reaction of pleasure. Every successful step – making a decision, completing a complex task, achieving a goal – activates the dopamine system, which enhances confidence and joy from your actions. Simultaneously, endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, are released. They reduce stress and tension, creating a sense of ease. It’s like an internal reward mechanism: your brain literally tells you, "Keep going, you’re doing well."
But the most interesting part begins when oxytocin, the hormone of trust and attachment, comes into play. It makes power less aggressive and more empathetic. When you trust yourself or the people around you, oxytocin levels rise, decreasing the activity of the amygdala, the anxiety center of the brain. You stop perceiving power as an endless struggle for control and start feeling safe, allowing you to focus on creation.
Scientific data confirm that such power works much better. Studies from Psychological Science (2020) show that in situations where management was built on trust, leaders’ endorphin levels increased by 30%, and cortisol levels decreased by 25%. This means that power through trust is not only more effective but also more emotionally comfortable. Instead of burning out, you feel energized and ready to act.
The euphoria of power is most evident when you see the results of your work. Imagine you lead a team, delegate tasks, trust the process, and the people around you feel your confidence. You see how the decisions you make bear fruit. At that moment, your brain rewards you: endorphins relieve tension, dopamine amplifies the joy of success, and oxytocin strengthens your connection with others. This is not just management; it’s an act of inspiration and support.
Research from the Journal of Leadership Studies (2019) confirms this dynamic. Leaders who build their relationships on trust experience endorphin levels 25-35% higher than those who rely on authoritarian methods. Moreover, such leaders report a 40% reduction in burnout, making their approaches not only successful but also sustainable.
Endorphins and trust act as the link between your power and how it is perceived by others. It’s not a struggle for control but a process that unites: you, your team, your goals. When you believe in yourself and others, power stops being a source of stress and becomes a powerful tool of harmony. It’s not just the ability to manage; it’s the art of inspiring, creating a space for mutual growth and trust.
Why Hormonal Balance Solves Everything
Hormonal balance is the foundation upon which your perception of power, submission, and interaction with the world is built. Testosterone, oxytocin, dopamine, endorphins, and cortisol not only regulate your emotions but also determine how you act, make decisions, and cope with stress. If these hormones work harmoniously, power becomes a source of strength and creation, and submission an act of trust and mindfulness. But if the balance is disrupted, everything turns into chaos: power becomes aggressive, and submission frightening.
Testosterone is the engine of leadership ambition. It energizes, motivates action, and gives confidence. However, high testosterone levels without the balance of other hormones turn power into a tool of aggression and suppression. This is where oxytocin, the "trust hormone," comes to the rescue. It softens the sharp edges of testosterone, reduces anxiety, and helps perceive power as care rather than a threat. Without oxytocin, power becomes cold and detached, and submission an act of coercion devoid of a sense of safety.
But power and submission are not just about testosterone and oxytocin. Dopamine and endorphins – hormones responsible for pleasure and comfort – also come into play. Dopamine motivates by enhancing the joy of success, while endorphins reduce stress and make the interaction process enjoyable. When these hormones are balanced, you feel ease and confidence in any role. If dopamine levels spike, it leads to euphoria and loss of focus; if it’s low, apathy arises. Endorphins act as internal analgesics, relieving tension and improving emotional well-being.
Cortisol, the stress hormone, also plays an important role. Normally, it helps mobilize in difficult situations, but its excess is destructive. Chronically high cortisol levels turn power into a survival battle and submission into a state of fear and helplessness. Harmonious cortisol balance allows you to maintain clarity of mind even when facing challenges.
When one hormone dominates the others, it disrupts the balance. For example, high testosterone with low oxytocin makes power aggressive and submission vulnerable. High cortisol with low endorphins amplifies anxiety and stress. This is why successful leadership and harmonious relationships depend on how balanced your hormones are.
Scientific studies confirm that a harmonious hormonal balance leads to better outcomes. A study in Nature Neuroscience (2019) found that leaders with balanced testosterone and oxytocin levels demonstrate higher empathy and a constructive approach. In such teams, conflict levels decrease by 35%, and work efficiency increases by 25%.
Hormonal balance solves everything because it determines how you perceive the world and interact with those around you. When hormones are in harmony, power becomes an act of creation, and submission a conscious choice of trust. It’s not a struggle for control but a process where you gain inner strength and adaptability. True power and freedom begin where hormonal chaos ends.
Chapter 3: Reboot Through Power
How Dominance Rewires Neural Connections
When you take control, your brain begins to restructure its functions, creating new neural connections that strengthen self-control, resilience to stress, and confidence. This process engages key brain areas, hormonal systems, and mechanisms of neuroplasticity, transforming dominance into a powerful tool for internal transformation.
Dominance activates the prefrontal cortex – the part of the brain responsible for planning, decision-making, and emotional regulation. Simultaneously, its connections with the amygdala, the anxiety center, are strengthened. In a state of power, the prefrontal cortex suppresses the excessive activity of the amygdala, helping you maintain rationality and avoid impulsive reactions. According to a study published in the Journal of Neuroscience (2020), individuals in a state of dominance experience a 25-30% increase in prefrontal cortex activity and a 20% reduction in amygdala reactivity. This not only reduces anxiety levels but also improves focus and decision-making abilities.