One Spring Baby
“So, we all agree?” Tess asked. “We like these colors? Poppy red and pale yellow? And what about the bridesmaids’ dresses? Is there any particular style you both prefer?”
Stevie bit her lip as she did a quick mental calculation. Tess’s wedding was scheduled for mid-June. Stevie would be seven months pregnant and sporting a big belly by then. It was time to come clean with her friends. She didn’t know why it was so much harder to confide in them than it had been with Cole. She was sure Jenny and Tess were going to be supportive, though she wouldn’t be surprised if tears were shed, and not all of them hers. She drew a deep breath.
“Hello?” Tess studied both Stevie and Jenny with a quizzical expression. “Neither of you is answering me. Which style do you like for the bridesmaids’ dresses?”
Jenny spoke before Stevie had a chance to share her news. “Um, Tess? If it’s okay with you, I think we should choose a loose, nonfitted style.”
Something in Jenny’s tone made both Stevie and Tess look at her curiously. Her expression made Stevie’s breath catch, and she heard Tess give a little squeak.
“Jen?” Tess’s voice was breathless with anticipation.
A shaky smile spread across Jenny’s beautiful face. “I’m pregnant.”
The words Stevie had been prepared to say lodged in her throat.
Jenny looked at Tess when she added, “I’m only four weeks along, so I’m a little nervous about even mentioning it yet. But with the wedding preparations moving along, and the need to order dresses soon, I thought you should know now.”
Tess squealed and reached out to her friend. Though usually the most exuberantly demonstrative of the trio, Stevie paused a beat before throwing herself into the group hug. She hoped her hesitation, if noticed, would be attributed to happy surprise.
Jenny was already answering a barrage of questions from Tess. Yes, she felt fine other than some morning nausea; yes, Gavin was super excited; yes, they’d told their families and everyone was thrilled.
Swiping at her damp cheeks, Tess beamed and started gathering the wedding materials. “All of this can wait. Let’s go to the restaurant next door and we can talk about your news over dinner. I want to hear how your mom and grandmother reacted. I know Gavin’s big family must have gone crazy. Do you know when you’ll start decorating the nursery? I bet Stevie can help you with that, can’t you, Stevie?”
“Well, I’m more comfortable with kitchens, but I’m sure I can come up with a few suggestions for decorating a nursery.” Stevie smiled brightly as she set her own momentous news aside for now. Jenny glowed with happiness about her pregnancy, and Tess was still eager to discuss the simple, but certain-to-be-beautiful wedding she was trying to put together quickly. This seemed entirely the wrong time to mention that she was already three months pregnant herself.
She hid her inner turmoil for the remainder of the evening behind mile-a-minute chatter and animated laughter, giving her friends little opportunity to ask anything personal of her. They had an absolutely delightful evening, yet Stevie had trouble fully enjoying it.
“I just couldn’t tell them,” she said to Cole the next afternoon, restlessly pacing her living room. “Jenny was so happy to make her announcement—and very nervous that it’s still early so something could yet go wrong. And Tess is focusing on her wedding arrangements. She’s seeing everything through orange blossom-colored lenses right now. If I’d told them my situation, they’d have started worrying about me and obsessing about my situation rather than their own excitement and I didn’t want our special evening to veer off into that direction last night, so I—”
“Breathe, Stevie.” Watching her from an armchair, Cole broke in to interrupt the rush of words she’d been holding in for hours. His deep voice was a soothing balm to her frayed nerves. “You’ll hyperventilate.”
He’d arrived only a few minutes earlier to let her know he was back in town and thank her, as he always did, for taking care of Dusty while he was gone. Stevie had barely waited until he was seated before she’d started pacing and venting to the only person who truly understood what she’d been going through recently.
She inhaled deeply. Staying busy with work, she’d held herself together pretty well since she’d parted from her friends last night with warm hugs and too-bright smiles, but just seeing Cole on her doorstep had brought her emotions dangerously close to the surface again. She paused in front of him, pushed her hair from her face with both hands and managed a smile of sorts.
“Sorry. I don’t mean to keep unloading all my problems on you. It’s your fault for being such a good listener,” she added, trying to lighten the mood with teasing.
“I don’t mind,” he assured her, and made her believe him. “Actually, I’ve given your situation a great deal of thought, and I have some suggestions for you, if you’re interested in hearing them.”
He looked so solemn that she had to smile despite her agitation. “You’ve given this careful consideration, have you?”
His lips twitched. “I’ve analyzed the data you presented to me and I would like to suggest some viable alternatives for your consideration.”
She chuckled in response to his self-mocking expression, then grew serious again. “That’s very sweet of you, but I’m sure I’ll work out a plan of some sort.”
His faint smile vanished. “You’re stressed, and that’s not good for either you or the baby. I understand why you were reluctant to talk to your girlfriends last night, under the circumstances, and apparently you aren’t quite ready to turn to your family. But I’m your friend, too, and I’m here for you. This is what I do, you know. I look at all the angles of a problem and identify solutions.”
She twisted a shoulder-length curl around her finger in her habitual nervous gesture. “I know you’re a genius at your work. But I’m not sure my current situation is in your wheelhouse.”
“Not exactly, but I’d like to try to help. I made a few notes.” He reached into his shirt pocket, drawing out his ever-present, tablet-sized smartphone. He pushed a button, then studied the words on the screen intently.
Seriously? He’d made notes? Was this the cutest thing ever?
“You said you didn’t want to raise your child without a father. Is there any chance the biological father will change his mind about being involved?”
“None,” she said with absolute certainty, amusement evaporating. “He made that very clear.”
Cole nodded, then moved on to his next point. “You said you worried about keeping your business afloat, both financially and logistically, while juggling maternity leave and infant care.”
“That will be a challenge,” she admitted, twisting the curl more tightly. “I’ve already started saving as much as I can stash away and I’m trying to keep my calendar organized around my due date.”
“You’re going to need help,” he said bluntly. “I believe there’s an obvious solution. The ideal option is for you to marry someone who likes and wants kids. Someone who can help you with the myriad daily responsibilities of raising a child and running a successful business.”
Taken aback, she shook her head in bemusement. This was the strategy Cole thought was obvious? That she should simply find someone to marry before her baby’s arrival?
“Cole, that’s—”
He seemed intent on quickly spelling out his reasoning. “You said you’re done with unstable romances. I’m of the opinion, myself, that marriages built on practical foundations are more sustainable than those based on fantasy and infatuation. My parents, for example, married in a youthful whirlwind romance that ended in a bitter and acrimonious divorce. Both wed for the second time for far more sensible purposes and those marriages have been much more successful.”
“You’re suggesting I should marry a friend to help me raise my child?”
Cole nodded, looking for all the world as if his improbable conclusion made perfect sense. He set aside the phone. “It’s the ideal solution.”
She gave him a quizzical smile. “So, are you offering to marry me, Cole?”
His look of surprise almost made her laugh again. He must not have realized how his suggestion could be interpreted, she mused in fond indulgence.
“I thought you understood,” he said, his expression very earnest now. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”
Chapter Three
Stevie’s soft laughter ended with a choke. She coughed a couple of times, waving Cole off when he stood and stepped forward as if to pound her back. Once she’d recovered her breath, she told herself she must have misheard him. “You, um—what?”
“I’m asking you to marry me,” he repeated. Slowly this time, as if to make sure she comprehended.
Though her first reaction was shock, as his words sank in she found herself almost unbearably touched. A lump formed in her throat when she looked at him standing there all rumpled and noble and earnest. And sexy as all get-out, but she pushed that particular observation to the back of her mind to concentrate on the conversation.
She rested a hand lightly on his arm and spoke in a voice that wasn’t entirely steady. “That’s very sweet of you, Cole, but you understand pregnant women don’t have to get married these days, right?”
He covered her hand with his own. “Yes, I know. But you have to admit it would be much easier if you have someone to share the responsibilities. I like kids. Always thought I’d have at least one of my own someday, but I’d sort of given up on that expectation. I wasn’t sure I’d ever marry again. I liked being married, but I get frazzled just thinking about the pressures and social expectations of courtship. Yet I can picture myself raising this child with you.”
She drew her hand slowly from beneath his to latch on to a lock of her hair, twisting it so tightly her fingertip went numb. Was this real? Cole wasn’t one to play practical jokes. And even if he were, this would hardly be funny. “I’m not sure what to say.”
Still standing close, he studied her gravely, as if trying to read her mind. She wished him luck with that. The way her head was spinning, even she couldn’t make sense of her thoughts.
“I can tell you’re surprised, and I understand. But think about it, Stevie. It makes perfect sense. We could have a good life together. With my telecommuting job, I could watch the baby while you’re working. Your career is flexible enough that we could coordinate our schedules around my business trips. I make a good living, so between the two of us, the child would be well cared for. I’m good with kids—and you have to admit I build a really great snowman,” he added with a disarmingly self-deprecating smile.
“Wow.” She swallowed, then said again, “Wow! You’re actually serious.”
He nodded. “It’s a good plan, right? Win-win. For me, for you—and for this baby.”
Oh, that was hardly a fair argument, she thought with a hard swallow. She’d told him she wished she could give her child a devoted dad. And she could hardly imagine a more upstanding candidate for the position.
She became aware that the hand not tangled in her hair had gone subconsciously to her stomach. She was still having trouble believing this was an actual proposal of marriage, but still she had to ask, “You’d really have no objection to raising another man’s child as your own?”
Cole looked genuinely startled by the question. As straightforward as ever, he replied, “I’ve never had a particular desire to see my own face in miniature. My childhood best friend was adopted, something he discussed openly. He was closer to his adoptive family than I was to my biological one.”
Though she didn’t know the details of his estrangement from his father, she couldn’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t be grateful to have a son like Cole.
“Kids don’t need a certified pedigree to make them happy,” he added, just a hint of uncharacteristic wistfulness in his voice now. “They need love. Encouragement. Unwavering support. I can offer all those things to this child we can welcome together. Let’s face it, neither of us expected this development, but we’re both in the right place at the right time to accept the challenge.”
Something deep inside her tightened in response to his words. “You’ve really given this a lot of consideration, haven’t you?”
He nodded. “I’ve been thinking about it for days. I had to consider all the ramifications before I came to you. I’d never make a commitment I wasn’t prepared to honor completely and permanently. I’m absolutely sure about this.”
It wasn’t often that naturally talkative Stevie found herself without words, but Cole had managed to strike her speechless. She almost wondered if she were dreaming this entire conversation, drifting into foolish daydreams about what might have been...
Cole reached out to gently untangle her hand from her hair, then cradled both her hands in his. She wasn’t sure if he’d practiced this proposal, but he spoke without hesitation, visibly sincere. “Marry me, Stevie. You said I’m one of your best friends. I feel the same about you. We mesh well together, have from the start. We can make this work. We can give this child the type of home and family you and I both wanted growing up. I’m not making a sacrifice or being unselfish in this offer. I want very much to be a dad to this kid. I think I’d make a good one.”
She’d spent her whole life acting on impulse, following her heart, her hunches, her instincts. Every one of those usual prompts urged her now to accept Cole’s offer on the spot. Still, she owed it to him, to herself, to her child to take time to consider before she leaped this time.
“Think about it,” he urged, reading the emotions chasing themselves across her face. “I don’t want to rush you into anything that doesn’t feel right to you, and nothing has to change between us if you choose to decline my proposal. We can still be friends. I just want you to know that I’m here for you and the baby, and that I hope—”
“Yes.”
So much for caution.
He went still, his head cocked to one side as he eyed her closely. “Yes?”
She felt her fingers tremble in his big strong hands. His grip tightened just enough to show her that he felt it, too. She freed her hands and stepped back to give herself a little distance, drawing herself up to her full height, such as it was. Her voice was satisfactorily steady when she demanded, “Do you promise you’ll always be a caring, committed father to this child, no matter what happens?”
“You have my word,” he answered without a hint of hesitation. “You both do.”
If there was one thing she’d learned about Cole McKellar during the past year, it was that he was the most honest man she’d ever met. Bluntly so, at times, but that was only part of his unique charm.
“Then the answer is yes.”
It wasn’t the hearts-and-flowers-and-violins marriage proposal she’d vaguely imagined for herself in youthful, Hollywood-tinted fantasies, but look where those silly daydreams had led her, how many times they’d let her down. She was going to be a mother now, and it was time to put unrealistic expectations behind her.
If she made a list of all the attributes she’d want for her child’s father, Cole would match nearly every item on the page. Maybe he wasn’t the type to write love songs for her or shower her with grand, romantic gestures, but the men who had done those things in the past hadn’t stayed around to deal with the everyday realities of life. He wasn’t claiming a grand passion for her—perhaps his late wife would always hold that position in his heart—but she knew he was quite fond of her, and she didn’t doubt that he respected her intelligence and admired her success in her business. That meant a great deal to her.
Other men had claimed to love her, but hadn’t stayed around to make a life with her. Cole would be there, stable, dependable, practical. She needed to work on being more like him—starting now.
“Yes,” she repeated, more firmly this time.
A smile spread across his face and she had to admit he looked pleased. If he had any doubts about this plan, it wasn’t visible in his expression. As for herself, she was still nervous—oh, hell, she was scared to her toenails—but she’d made her decision. She gave her tummy a little pat, sending a silent message in that direction. You’re welcome, kid.
“Great,” he said with obvious satisfaction. “We’ll make this work, Stevie, I promise.”
“I believe you.” She would certainly do her part, she vowed.
Her legs seemed to have weakened, so she moved to sit on the couch. Cole sat beside her, drawing his phone from his pocket. She frowned a little. Was he already calling someone with the news? Was he really this excited about—
But he’d merely opened his calendar. “So when do you want to do this? The baby is due in—six months, right?”
She nodded, trying to focus on practical details. “Yes.”
“So that doesn’t give us a lot of time to take care of things. We’ll have to decide where to live, set up a nursery, work out our schedules, that sort of thing. You, um—do you want a big wedding? Because if you do—”
“No,” she assured him quickly. “I’d prefer something small and simple.”
She could see relief cross his face, though knowing Cole, she suspected he’d have agreed to a huge affair if she’d said she wanted one.
“I don’t need my parents there,” he said. “Considering they don’t even like being in the same state at the same time, they’d hardly want to attend the same wedding. They’ll probably be relieved they don’t have to make the effort. I’m pretty sure my mom will be pleased at the prospect of having a grandchild. I think she’d pretty much given up on the idea.”
She twisted her fingers in her lap. Would his mother really welcome this child, even though her son wasn’t the biological father? “Are you, um, going to tell your parents that I was already pregnant when you and I decided to get married?”
Cole shrugged. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s unnecessary. I won’t lie, but there’s no need to tell everyone our business. You can make the decision with your mother and brother. We’ll tell the child when he or she is old enough to understand, of course, and I guess your closest friends will know the truth, but I’d be fine with letting the rest make their own assumptions.”
“That works for me, too,” she murmured.
He nodded, putting that item behind them before returning to the previous one. “What about you? Do you want to wait until your mother and brother can get here to have the ceremony?”
She barely had to think about it before shaking her head. “Mom isn’t really interested in ceremonies—and she’s never been a big fan of marriage,” she added with a wry laugh. “She’ll be satisfied with hearing the details afterward and then flying in for a visit after the baby arrives. Same goes for my brother.”
“And what about your friends?”
“Jenny and Tess are going to be...surprised.” Which was the understatement of the year, of course.
Cole studied her expression. “How do you think they’ll feel about our plans?”
“I don’t know,” she admitted.
She was sure her friends would be concerned she was acting on impulse and would urge her to take more time to think about all of this, despite the pregnancy deadline. Bonded with their soul mates, they would obviously want the same for her. Jenny had turned down a socially advantageous proposal from a wealthy and connected attorney to wed the cop she’d loved since their college years. Tess’s engagement to her employer might have started out as an arrangement meant to assuage their matchmaking relatives during the holidays, but it hadn’t taken them long to realize they’d been deeply in love for some time.
Both Jenny and Tess would certainly remind Stevie that she had always been the one to defend the fairy tale version of romance, to insist marriage should be based on passion, not practicality. But their circumstances were very different from her own, she reminded herself. They’d had only their own best interests to consider during their courtships. Jenny understood the pain of growing up without a father, her own having died before she was even born, but would she approve of Stevie’s decision to provide for her baby’s needs over her own silly fantasies?
“I don’t know,” she repeated.
“Would you change your mind if they do disapprove?”
She shook her head firmly. “Of course not. It’s just that I’m not quite sure how to explain it to them. As I’ve said, I haven’t even told them yet that I’m pregnant. I just don’t want them to worry about me.”
As much as she hated to admit it, things were changing between her and her friends with marriages and babies coming into the picture. It was inevitable, she supposed. They would always be close, but the time they could spend together would be even more limited with these new responsibilities.
“Here’s an idea.” Cole drummed the fingers of one hand lightly against his thigh. She could tell by his expression that he’d turned his full attention to solving her latest dilemma. “Instead of telling them ahead of time and dealing with their questions and opinions, why don’t you just present it to them as a fait accompli? We could elope, then tell them we’re married and we’re committed to raising this child together. There would be little they could say at that point except to congratulate you and wish you well.”
She blinked. “Not tell them beforehand? But Jen and I have always told each other everything. Tess, too, since we met her.”
“You haven’t told them you’re pregnant.”
She winced in response to that very reasonable rebuttal. “No.”
“What’s your schedule tomorrow?” he asked after a moment.
The seemingly abrupt change of subject made her blink again before answering, “I have a meeting in the morning, but it should only take a couple of hours.”
“Can you be done by noon? I have a few things to deal with, but I can be finished by lunchtime. There’s no waiting period to be married in this state, so we could leave at around one o’clock tomorrow afternoon, pick up a marriage license and stop at one of those little wedding chapels in the Ozarks. Afterward, we’ll drive into Missouri and spend a couple nights at a nice inn in Branson, and be back at work Monday morning. I wish I could take you somewhere special for a real honeymoon, but my schedule is pretty tight at the moment and I’m sure yours is, too, getting ready for your maternity leave and all.”
“Tomorrow,” she repeated somewhat blankly, feeling swept along by a current that had surged out of control. She’d already agreed to marry him, so why did setting a time cause a flicker of panic inside her? “You’re talking about getting married tomorrow?”
“Well, we could wait a little longer if you need more time.”
“I—” She chewed her lower lip as she considered. Though she felt a bit cowardly to admit it, she could see the appeal of telling her friends after the fact rather than facing a barrage of questions and doubts and advice. Cole was right—this way it would be too late for them to try to talk her out of marrying him. Too late to talk herself out of it. “Tomorrow works for me.”
He gave her knee a little squeeze, his fingers lingering long enough to make her vividly aware of his touch. “I’ll make the arrangements with the chapel and a hotel. February is hardly peak tourist season, so we shouldn’t have trouble getting reservations. Some of the Branson theaters are probably closed for the season, but I’m sure a few are still open. It’ll be fun, right?”
“Fun.” Stevie laughed in bemusement and pressed her cold hands to her warm cheeks. “How is it that you can make even the craziest plan sound absolutely rational?”
Cole had the grace to smile crookedly as he rose from the couch. “My special talent?”
“Apparently.”
“Well?”
Rising as he did, she drew a slightly shaky breath and pressed a hand to her stomach. “Okay. I have a consultation at nine in the morning, but I can be ready to leave by one o’clock.”
As matter-of-fact as Cole was being about all this, she wouldn’t have been entirely surprised if he’d sealed the deal by offering his hand to shake. Instead, he reached into his pocket. For the first time since he’d blindsided her with this plan he’d obviously considered so carefully, she saw a hint of uncertainty in his expression. “I picked up something for you while I was in Chicago. I hope you like it.”