Cowboy in the Extreme
He would never have a child of his own. He couldn’t risk it.
Not knowing whether he might pass on the same genetic disorder that had tormented his younger sister. Not after losing her to it…
It was the final straw that had ended his marriage to Marty. She had wanted a family. He had adamantly refused. He could not chance bringing a child into the world only to watch the child suffer the way Joanie had.
Besides, he’d known it was a last frantic attempt on Marty’s part to tie him to her.
God knows, he’d wanted to love her.
But he hadn’t been able to and she’d known it.
Because he’d given his heart to Kim years ago, and he’d never gotten it back.
“What’s going on?” Sheriff McRae asked. “You mean the prison break earlier at the state pen where a guard was shot?”
Brandon nodded. “I’m afraid so.”
“Do you know one of the prisoners?”
“Yes. Carter Flagstone.” He tightened his fists to control his temper. “He and Johnny Long and Kim and I grew up together.”
Sheriff McRae grimaced and folded his arms. “You think he’ll come to you for help?”
Brandon made a sarcastic sound. “Hardly. We had a falling-out a few years back. After he was arrested, we lost touch.” Because Brandon had hated his guts for sleeping with Kim. And Carter had accused him of not giving him an alibi because of that night. It was a pretty messed-up story.
“This falling out…” Sheriff McRae cocked his head sideways. “It wouldn’t happen to be about Kim?”
Brandon heaved a weary sigh. “Yeah, it would. That and the fact that Johnny and I didn’t stand up for him in court like he thought we should have.”
“So you think he’s looking for revenge?”
Brandon hated to bad-mouth his old buddy. But Carter had been trouble in the old days, drinking and fighting, conning his way into women’s beds, starting bar brawls, and then having blackouts. No telling how prison life had hardened him. Like Johnny said, he must be desperate.
“It’s possible,” Brandon said. He glanced at the sleeping little redhead on the sofa all curled up beneath the blanket hugging her stuffed lamb to her. “Either that, or he came here to see his daughter.”
KIM PRESSED THE PHONE to her ear in a white-knuckled grip, keeping an eye on Lucy from the doorway of the porch. The sheriff went to his car and returned a moment later, murmuring he was going to check for fingerprints. “Johnny—”
“What’s wrong, Kim?”
A sliver of guilt bled through Kim at his distressed tone. She hated to disturb him when he and Rachel were just getting settled in. “Someone broke into the cabin tonight.”
Johnny made a shocked sound. “Are you and Lucy all right?”
Tears pricked Kim’s eyes as she saw Brandon scrape a hand through his thick, wavy dark hair. “Yes. I called for Brody, but he wasn’t there. Brandon answered and came over.”
“Brandon’s there with you?”
“Yes.”
“Thank God.”
Kim breathed in and out to wrestle her emotions under control. She’d relied on Johnny for so long she didn’t know how not to. He was the only one she’d ever let down her guard around. He was the only one who knew the truth.
Johnny cleared his throat. “Kim, are you really okay?”
His words hung in the air. He was referring to the fact that she’d seen Brandon face-to-face for the first time in years. “No…” She sucked in another breath. “But I will be. The sheriff’s here now.”
“Good.”
She closed her eyes, reliving the nightmarish memory. “You should have called me and warned me about the prison break.”
Johnny released a pent-up breath. “I’m sorry. I only found out a couple of hours ago. I was going to call you in the morning.”
“Do you think Carter came here tonight?” Kim asked. “That he was the intruder?”
A heartbeat of silence passed, riddled with anxiety. “I don’t know, but sooner or later he’ll show up at your place, or mine or Brandon’s. And he’ll want to see Lucy.”
“So he knows about her?”
“He had the newspaper with the photos of the rodeo the last time we talked.” Johnny paused. “He probably thinks you’ll be more willing to help him than Brandon or me.”
“I don’t know,” Kim said. “He was furious with me the last time we talked.”
“I don’t believe he’d hurt you, but he’s in a bad way. We don’t know what happened at the jail.” He hesitated. “Still, I sure as hell don’t want you to stay there tonight or to be alone until he’s caught. Pack Lucy up and drive to my place. Or if you’re too shaken up, I’ll drive over and pick you up.”
Kim shivered at the thought of staying in the cabin the rest of the night. But she’d vowed to let Johnny have his own life now. He had Rachel and Kenny, and she had to stop leaning on him.
“No, Johnny. I’ll be fine here,” she said instead.
“Kim—”
“Listen, big brother, I appreciate the fact that you care, but I’m a big girl now. I’m not going to horn in on you and Rachel every time some little problem occurs.”
“Carter is not a little problem, Kim. He could be dangerous.” Johnny paused, then lowered his voice. “There is another option, you know.”
Kim leaned against the porch rail. She had a bad feeling he was going to want to post some goon on her. “I don’t want a stranger in my house—”
“I’m not talking about hiring a bodyguard, Kim, although I can do that.” He paused. “I think it’s time you talk to Brandon.”
A chill of foreboding rippled through her. “No, Johnny, I can’t—”
“He’ll protect you and Lucy, Kim, and you know it.”
Her throat clogged. Yes, he probably would. But all the hurt and pain of the past would resurface. Just looking at him now, remembering how deeply she’d loved him and how heartbroken she’d been when he’d left her, robbed her breath.
She had dreamed of marrying him from the time she was fifteen years old.
But he’d taken another bride.
“Listen, sis, I understand this is difficult, and I know you were hurt and had your reasons for avoiding Brandon and for keeping secrets. But he’s been divorced almost a year now, and he deserves to know the truth. So does Lucy—”
The sheriff walked out then, Brandon behind him, and she pressed her hand over the mouthpiece. “Hold on, Johnny.”
“I’m taking off now, Ms. Long,” Sheriff McRae said. “I’ll let you know if we get any hits on the prints.”
Kim thanked him, then looked up to see Brandon watching her.
“Is that Johnny?” Brandon asked.
Kim nodded, and Brandon reached for the phone. “Let me speak to him.”
She moved her hand and spoke to her brother. “Brandon wants to talk to you, but Johnny—”
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to tell him anything. That’s up to you, Kim.” Frustration laced her brother’s voice. “But like I said, it’s time you two talked. You owe it to Lucy.”
Kim swallowed a retort and handed Brandon the phone, then inched closer to the doorway to check on Lucy again. Thankfully, she was still sleeping.
Was Johnny right? Was it time for her to confess to Brandon?
But what if she told him and he tried to take Lucy from her? He had money now....
“Johnny…yeah…” Brandon cut his gaze toward her, a dozen emotions flitting across his rugged face. The scar on his forehead he’d gleaned from one of his daddy’s beatings puckered as he frowned. “Don’t worry. I’ll be ready if he shows up.”
He disconnected the call, then handed Kim the phone. The simple brush of his fingers across hers sent a bolt of desire through her.
She jerked the phone to her and closed her hand around it, praying he hadn’t seen her reaction as she stepped into the den.
“Pack a bag for you and Lucy,” Brandon said, following her inside. “You’re going to my place for the night.”
Panic streaked through Kim. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Brandon.”
His jaw hardened, the vein at the base of his neck throbbing the way it always had when he was trying to control his anger. “This is not up for debate. I told Johnny I’d take you two to my ranch so you’d be safe for the night, and I intend to keep my word.”
Their gazes locked, and she remembered other promises he’d made to her. One in particular. The night they’d first made love, he’d promised to love her and take care of her forever.
A promise he hadn’t kept.
Was he remembering that, too?
“I’ll talk to Johnny—”
“I’m not arguing.” He jerked his thumb toward the house. “You either pack a bag, or I’ll do it for you.”
Kim had forgotten how bullheaded Brandon could be. That when he set his mind to something he charged after it and refused to let anything or anybody stand in his way.
Just like he had when he’d decided to better himself and buy his own ranch. Not that that had been a hard choice. Ranching was in his blood just as it was her brother’s and in hers. But with his awful childhood, he hadn’t had it easy. In fact the cards had been stacked against him.
Old hurts stabbed at her. She’d wanted them to work together to build a home and a ranch. But he’d chosen Marty to do those things with.
No. There was no way she could spend the night in Brandon’s house, not in the place he’d shared with his wife.
“I appreciate the offer, Brandon, but you can’t tell me what to do anymore. Lucy and I will be fine here.”
Anger flashed in his eyes. “You’d rather face Carter alone if he returns?”
At this point, she didn’t know if she was more afraid of Carter or Brandon. Carter had a temper, and if he was coming for Lucy and she opposed him, he might hurt her. After all, he’d had five long years for his anger to fester.
But he didn’t have the power over her that Brandon had.
Then again, she didn’t know how Brandon would react when he finally learned the truth about Lucy.
He had a bad temper, too. And now he had money and power....
“Please, just go, Brandon. I’ve taken care of Lucy all these years by myself. I can do it now.”
He twisted his mouth sideways the way he used to do when he was working his thoughts to make a point. “Really? Then you and Lucy have visited Carter?”
She shook her head. “No.” Carter hadn’t wanted to see her. And jail was no place for a little girl.
Brandon gripped her arms. “Then he’s not going to be happy with you when he arrives, is he?” Brandon’s gruff voice rose a notch, and Lucy suddenly stirred.
“Mommy?” Lucy rolled over and looked at them. Her eyes widened with fear at the sight of Brandon gripping her arms. “Don’t hurt my mommy!”
She jumped off the sofa and threw herself at Brandon, slamming her fists into Brandon’s legs. “Stop it, don’t hurt my mommy!”
BRANDON’S HEART CLENCHED at the terror in the little girl’s cries, and he immediately released Kim. Dear God, Lucy thought he was going to hit her mother.
Shame engulfed him, memories of his own childhood flashing back. His daddy beating his mama. His sister’s screams of terror. Him in the middle, trying to protect them both.
Kim stooped down to pull Lucy away. “It’s okay, Lucy. He wasn’t hurting me.”
“But he yelled at you.” Lucy’s lower lip trembled as Kim picked her up; then she rubbed her teary eyes and looked up at Brandon.
Brandon forced his hands to hang limply by his sides, determined to prove to the child that he wouldn’t hurt her or her mother.
But his chest clenched when he looked into Lucy’s big green eyes.
Pale green eyes that looked just like his own.
He staggered back, shock bolting through him as the truth hit him.
Lucy wasn’t Carter’s little girl.
She was his.
Chapter Three
The truth echoed in Brandon’s head over and over as if he’d been sucker punched.
Lucy was his.... Lucy was his.... He had a daughter....
A daughter he’d never known about.
Because Kim had kept it from him.
The anguish and rage hit him so hard that Brandon staggered backward, then gripped the sofa edge to keep from reaching for Kim and shaking her. How could she have done this to him?
For years he’d forced himself to accept the fact that he’d never have a family. Never have a son or daughter of his own because he was too afraid he’d pass on that horrific genetic disorder. Krabbe’s Leukodystrophy, the doctor called it. The bone marrow transplant had miraculously given her a few extra years, but she had still suffered.
And for four years now, he’d had a living, breathing little girl who was his blood kin. A normal child.
One he’d made with Kim.
A child he would have loved and spoiled and been there for if only Kim had let him.
Bitterness filled him, and he fisted his hands by his sides, his body trembling with the effort to control his anger.
Kim cradled Lucy to her as if she sensed that rage, as if she feared he was going to snatch her away. But her eyes also flashed with resignation as if she’d known this moment would eventually come and had dreaded it.
“Brandon—”
Their gazes locked, the air vibrating with the cloying scent of lies. “She’s m—”
Kim cut him off with a choked whisper. “Yes.”
That one word ripped a hole in his heart. “How could you?” he asked through gritted teeth. “Why?”
“You… We…” She nodded toward Lucy, her voice quavering. “This is not the time to discuss it, Brandon.”
Dammit, it sure as hell was time to discuss it. It was past time. Fury surged through him, more powerful than he’d ever felt. He wanted to shout at Kim and demand to know how she could have left him in the dark about his own child.
He wanted to pull Lucy into his arms and hug her and make up for lost time.
But Lucy clawed at her mother in fear, and he forced himself to temper his reaction.
Still, his heart was pounding, and he had to clear his throat twice to make it work. “You kept this from me all these years and now you don’t want to talk about it?”
Even though he’d tried, his voice still sounded harsh and loud in the hollow silence, and Lucy whipped her little head around, her eyes startled, scared.
His gut tightened with remorse. The poor little girl, his little girl, had been terrified of an intruder, and now he was adding to her fears.
He took a step forward, aching to drag her in his arms and hold her, to assure her that he would never hurt her. That he hadn’t been around the past four years because he hadn’t known she was his. That he would love her and take care of her and tuck her into bed at night and teach her to ride, and be the father he should have been all along.
If Kim hadn’t deprived him of it.
Images of the years he’d missed crawled through his mind, a blinding haze of pictures of Lucy. Lucy as a newborn swaddled in a pink blanket, her first laugh, the day she’d learned to crawl, her first step, then birthdays and Christmases—all memories Kim had that he’d missed.
God, what had she told Lucy about him?
“Mommy?” Lucy said in a frightened whisper.
Kim held her daughter tight, gently rocking Lucy in her arms. “It’s okay, sugar. This is Johnny’s friend Brandon. Remember, you watched him do trick riding at the rodeo and wanted to learn to ride like him?”
Lucy nodded, but her wide-eyed look made Brandon feel like the worst kind of heel.
And resurrected memories of how terrified his own sister had been of their father.
He’d sworn that if he ever had a child, a family, they would never be afraid of him.
But Lucy was.
Nausea gripped him, and he tore himself away and strode out onto the front porch. Aching inside and calling himself a hundred kinds of a fool, he leaned against the porch rail and dragged in the fresh air, desperate to stem the bile clogging his throat.
Was that the reason Kim had kept Lucy from him? Had she feared he’d be violent like his old man?
He closed his eyes, the image of Kim’s tears the day he’d broken up with her haunting him. He’d loved her but decided he could learn to love Marty. Marty was his ticket to the big time, to raising himself from trailer trash to a respected ranch hand to eventually owning his own spread. He’d been stupid and chosen wrong because he thought Marty would give him his future.
But in the end, he had been the one to lose.
His future had been with Kim and the child she’d been carrying. Only he hadn’t known it.
Her words taunted him. “This is Brandon, Uncle Johnny’s friend.”
Hell, he was way more than Uncle Johnny’s friend.
He was Lucy’s daddy. And now he knew about her, he would be a father to her.
Even if he had to fight Kim to do so.
KIM SANK ONTO THE SOFA hugging Lucy to her. She hated the devastation she’d seen in Brandon’s eyes. Pain she’d put there by her lies.
But he had left her and married another woman. And she had tried to tell him about Lucy, but…
“Mommy?” Lucy murmured. “I’m sweepy.”
Lucy’s words jerked her back to the reality of the night and the break-in. She needed to put Lucy back to bed. They both needed rest.
She listened for Brandon’s car engine and expected him to peel away in a fit of anger, but didn’t hear it. Instead her own breathing rattled, fraught with emotions.
How would she sleep tonight knowing someone had been inside the cabin? That it might or might not have been Carter?
Worse, how would Carter react if he thought Lucy was his child, showed up expecting to see her and discovered she wasn’t?
Not that she’d ever given him any reason to believe Lucy was his daughter. In fact, after their last confrontation when she’d visited him in prison, she hadn’t had any communication with him.
But if he’d seen their picture in the paper like Johnny said, he could have jumped to conclusions.
Suddenly footsteps pounded the porch, and Brandon reappeared at the door. Lucy’s head shot up again, and she dug her nails into Kim’s shoulders. Kim tried to stifle her own tremor as Brandon’s bitter look pierced her.
“I need to put Lucy back to bed,” Kim said. “We can talk tomorrow.”
“You’re not staying here,” Brandon said, his jaw clenched. “Pack a bag for you and Lucy. You’re both coming to my ranch.”
Kim’s lungs begged for a breath. The last place she wanted to be was at his house.
“We’ll be fine here,” Kim said. “Please, Brandon—”
Brandon strode past her into her bedroom and Kim followed. When he opened her closet door, she stepped in front of him. “Brandon—”
Lucy made a whimpering sound, and Brandon looked tormented as he lifted a hand and gently patted her back.
“It’s okay, Lucy,” Brandon said in a low, soothing tone. “I just want to keep you and your mother safe.”
“But you’re mad at Mommy,” Lucy said, her lower lip trembling. “I don’t wants to go if you’re mad and gonna yell.”
Brandon sucked air through his teeth, and Kim knew she had to do something to diffuse the situation. Brandon was stubborn, but he’d bent over backward to take care of his younger sister. He’d fended off bullies, taken beatings from their father to protect her, even fed her when she was sick.
He would want to get to know Lucy now.
How could she deny him his own little girl? Even though he’d broken her heart, he was a good, honorable, hardworking man. Now he’d made his wealth, he’d joined Johnny and Brody Bloodworth and several other wealthy ranchers to create the Bucking Bronc Lodge and help troubled kids.
And he was Lucy’s father.
She didn’t want her daughter to be frightened of him.
Besides, earlier, hadn’t she worried about how much Lucy was going to miss Johnny, how much she’d missed by not having a father around?
Kim rubbed circles on Lucy’s back. “You know how Uncle Johnny’s voice gets loud sometimes when he’s worried?”
Lucy nodded, a lock of her dark red hair falling across one damp cheek.
“Well, Brandon is just worried about us now. He wants us to spend the night with him so he can make sure that man who broke in doesn’t come back.” Although for all she knew Carter might show up at Brandon’s.
But at least they would be able to deal with him together.
Maybe going with him was the wise thing to do.
She would just have to keep up her guard. If Brandon wanted to know why he’d missed the first four years of his daughter’s life, she’d tell him the truth.
He had made that choice, not her. Now he’d have to live with it.
THE NEED TO HOLD LUCY was so strong that it nearly overpowered Brandon. But he forced himself to summon every ounce of restraint he possessed and simply watch as Kim deposited Lucy onto her bed and began to pack.
Lucy cradled her stuffed lamb to her like a lifeline, and memories flooded him. When his sister Joanie had been ill or had nightmares, he’d rocked her to sleep. And when she’d grown into a preteen and it seemed inappropriate for him to cradle her in his lap, he’d sat by her bed and read to her and told her stories about riding and adventures they would take one day.
Each day though, he’d seen her grow physically weaker and more mentally impaired until finally he’d been forced to seek help. Without the money to pay for private care, he’d had to send her to a group home.
Leaving her there had damn near killed him.
He’d vowed one day to make enough money to bring her home and hire a nurse, one of the main reasons he’d married Marty Canterberry. But Joanie had died before he’d earned enough money to fulfill his promise.
And now he had all the money he needed, but an empty house and an empty life.
Except for the boys at the BBL.
You have a little girl.
A beautiful little girl with Kim’s striking dark red hair and his green eyes. A little girl with crooked teeth and dimples and freckles—a perfect child.
For a moment, he couldn’t breathe again. Instead, he said a silent prayer of thanks to God. Why He’d given Brandon this chance to be a father when the odds had been stacked against him he didn’t know.
But he’d damn well do everything in his power to make the good Lord proud.
Kim fastened her suitcase, then rubbed a hand across Lucy’s hair. Her eyes were heavy with sleep, her heart-shaped face angelic.
“I’m going to pack you a bag now, honey. You can stay here. I’ll be right back.”
Lucy nodded, and Brandon felt as if Kim had given him a small gift by trusting him with their daughter while she packed.
“You’re really Uncle Johnny’s friend?” Lucy asked in a tiny whisper.
Brandon eased closer and sat down on the edge of the bed, careful not to startle her. “Yes, I grew up with your uncle and your mom. We all played together when we were kids. We even built a fort and called it our secret meeting place.”
Her eyes perked up with interest. “I wants a fort.”
Brandon blinked back emotions. Was Lucy a tomboy like Kim had been? “Tell you what, sweetie, we’ll build you one at my ranch. I’ll even let you pick out the spot. How does that sound?”
He tweaked her nose, and an excited smile curved her rosebud of a mouth.
“Good.” Lucy sighed sleepily.
Brandon soaked in the moment, memorizing the details of her face. Tiny freckles dotted her pug nose, and her long auburn lashes curled against her baby-soft skin. She had a quirky little mouth like Kim, and a defiant stubborn chin like his.
“You got horses?” Lucy asked on a yawn.
“Yes, ma’am, I sure do,” Brandon said. “Maybe you can sleep in the car on the way, and in the morning I’ll show you around and you can pick out which horse you want to be your own.” He patted her foot. “Would you like that?”
She bobbed her head up and down. “Uh-huh…” Her voice faded as her eyes drifted closed.
But he could have sworn the smile stayed tucked in place, as if she was dreaming about an Appaloosa or palomino and the fort they would build.